How the STs compensate for weak Fi

[chriscorey]

I know this is why I'm attracted to them:

[chriscorey]

In my experience, SEIs are good-looking, sexy, bright, cheerful, friendly and forward. They dress well and take good care of the people whom they care about.

ILEs, on the other hand, are often smart but look like something the cat dragged in and dropped on the floor. They are self-absorbed and selfish and opinionated and are usually extremely cheap. Their one redeeming grace is that they are usually liberals.

How this Duality propagates is a mystery to me.

Is this what it would be like to date you?

[MissDucki]

I think @MissDucki is SEI with creative subtype in DCNH. With her zaniness she even got @PseudoRandomBSGenerator out of his cave.... It's like magic or something.

ILE-D and SEI-N have probably very different interaction styles & expectations.

I think I am going to put a type me thread for my DCNH. I originally thought I was harmonizing, then normative but this is the second time I have been told I may be a creative subtype. It’s very interesting as I would never have considered it tbh

[MissDucki]

Also not to completely derail the thread. ST’s tend to really over compensate for weak Fi with either money or acts of service in come way. Almost all the delta ST’s that I know tend to give money the most to me for gifts in some way. Beta ST’s tend to do services or give experiences in a safe environment. Aka actions of security and physical romantic actions seem to compensate for talking about Fi feelings.

[Adam Strange]

Is this what it would be like to date you?

No, chriscorey, that video does not capture what it would be like to date me.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what, exactly, it is like to date me. I will say that when I dated an Identical, I found her to be very intimidating, but the ESIs that I date don’t seem to be at all intimidated by me. If anything, they like the fact that I easily take them places and I’m not cheap, and they seem to like my clarity and want to protect me. But those reactions are almost certainly type-related. I’ve gone out with all the introverted types in the Socion and every one has a different reaction to me. I seem to click the best with ESIs.

The guy in the video was not letting the woman be herself. That’s a huge problem in any relationship, and is a big reason why I’m only dating Duals. I need Duals to be exactly who they are. If they changed, we would be less compatible.

I’ve actually told Duals before that I’m glad they are who they are, because I really appreciate the things they do naturally.
I have a running discussion with an ESI-Se about our interactions, both when she’s creating art on commission or when she’s making suggestions for redecorating my house. We agree that the more input I have on her creative processes, the worse the results are. So we split the responsibilities. She creates and chooses, and I find the money to make it happen.

It’s a win-win.

[chriscorey]

No, chriscorey, that video does not capture what it would be like to date me.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what, exactly, it is like to date me. I will say that when I dated an Identical, I found her to be very intimidating, but the ESIs that I date don’t seem to be at all intimidated by me. If anything, they like the fact that I easily take them places and I’m not cheap, and they seem to like my clarity and want to protect me. But those reactions are almost certainly type-related. I’ve gone out with all the introverted types in the Socion and every one has a different reaction to me. I seem to click the best with ESIs.

The guy in the video was not letting the woman be herself. That’s a huge problem in any relationship, and is a big reason why I’m only dating Duals. I need Duals to be exactly who they are. If they changed, we would be less compatible.

I’ve actually told Duals before that I’m glad they are who they are, because I really appreciate the things they do naturally.
I have a running discussion with an ESI-Se about our interactions, both when she’s creating art on commission or when she’s making suggestions for redecorating my house. We agree that the more input I have on her creative processes, the worse the results are. So we split the responsibilities. She creates and chooses, and I find the money to make it happen.

It’s a win-win.

I was teasing you Adam.. I was raised by an ESE; I know how to dress Right and not look like something the cat dragged in. I'm certain a lot of other ILEs know the routine too.

I was just teasing you

[Adam Strange]

@chriscorey, I’ve long wondered what it is my Duals see in me. I’m pretty smart and fairly intuitive, but I can’t quite figure it out.

Am I someone they don’t have to change for? Am I a ticket out of their crappy lives? Am I someone they can joke with and be understood? Am I a convenient bed-partner? Am I someone they can complain to who won’t think they are wrong wrong wrong?

I really have no idea. I don’t pretend to understand them, but I’m glad that we usually get along.

[chriscorey]

@chriscorey, I’ve long wondered what it is my Duals see in me. I’m pretty smart and fairly intuitive, but I can’t quite figure it out.

Am I someone they don’t have to change for? Am I a ticket out of their crappy lives? Am I someone they can joke with and be understood? Am I a convenient bed-partner? Am I someone they can complain to who won’t think they are wrong wrong wrong?

I really have no idea. I don’t pretend to understand them, but I’m glad that we usually get along.

I really do hope you find her. With all my heart

[Adam Strange]

I was teasing you Adam.. I was raised by an ESE; I know how to dress Right and not look like something the cat dragged in. I'm certain a lot of other ILEs know the routine too.

I was just teasing you

In my post, I was really referring to most, not all, of the male ILEs whom I know.

The one female ILE that I met (in a bank) was cute, perky, smart, and she seemed to like me. She was Tom-boyish and I thought she’d be fun to hang out with. I imagined us going to some Maker’s Fair together. But I refused to go down that path because..... Opposite Quadra and no future.

I have had three male ILE friends for years. I met them all through Astronomy or Optics activities. I would say that they are all smart as hell and are good people, but they do tend to (slightly) have all of the characteristics that I mentioned.

For me, this is minor. For an SEI, it’s probably Just Right.

[lkdhf qkb]

ST’s tend to really over compensate for weak Fi with either money or acts of service in come way. Almost all the delta ST’s that I know tend to give money the most to me for gifts in some way.

I've always thought of this behaviour as a bit paternalistic and condescending. Like what makes them think I need money or a gift? Just say you like me goddammit!

[Northstar]

At least delta NF women love acts of practical service, fix their car, appliances, electronics and other thing, build furniture, cook food but most of all engage in their home and garden improvement projects, from the planning stage especially to carrying out them. They love discussing the Te (best way to repair that wall or dig up the garden) and Si (what color do you think we should pick for this wall and do these curtains fit well?) of practical home related things. EII expect you to tell them straight out what is best and do it (Te DS wants the super 4D Te), IEE want to have a discussion where they are a promising gifted apprentice of sorts (Te HA vs milder creative Te).

[chriscorey]

I was a tom boy. I was also very pretty. In fourth grade all the girls hated me and all the boys had a crush. The lunch line was the worst part of the day. I started skipping lunch and not eating. Then I ask my mother if I could bring an orange in a brown bag to school.

Then it happened. The teacher said "empty your lunch on your desk. I complied. A single orange rolled across my desk. She said "you better not let me see you out of that lunch line."

As I stood in the line class bully Angie said "what are you looking at?" I said "my shoes" She broke from the line and pointed at me and said: "she has a staring problem" All the kids laughed.
the nextday
When I got home that day my phone kept ringing and my father answered. "No you can't talk to my daughter" The next day. The boys in class were snickering. I ignore them.

The next day the boys were in a huddle mocking my unseen ignorance. I ignored them. Then they started asking me if I'b be their partner. I declined and walked away.

I never went to one single high school party. .

One day my imaginary friend talks to me.

My dad had them cut all my hair off like boy. I was not expectation my mom's mirror. Everyone thought Iwas a boy who went to the school for the rest of the month, at least.b

[chriscorey]

I was a tom boy. I was also very pretty. In fourth grade all the girls hated me and all the boys had a crush. The lunch line was the worst part of the day. I started skipping lunch and not eating. Then I ask my mother if I could bring an orange in a brown bag to school.

Then it happened. The teacher said "empty your lunch on your desk. I complied. A single orange rolled across my desk. She said "you better not let me see you out of that lunch line."

As I stood in the line class bully Angie said "what are you looking at?" I said "my shoes" She broke from the line and pointed at me and said: "she has a staring problem" All the kids laughed.
the nextday
When I got home that day my phone kept ringing and my father answered. "No you can't talk to my daughter" The next day. The boys in class were snickering. I ignore them.

The next day the boys were in a huddle mocking my unseen ignorance. I ignored them. Then they started asking me if I'b be their partner. I declined and walked away.

I never went to one single high school party. .

One day my imaginary friend talks to me.

My dad had them cut all my hair off like boy. I was not expectation my mom's mirror. Everyone thought Iwas a boy who went to the school for the rest of the month, at least.b

*gives you a big hug*

Ill be around.

[Tim]

I overemphasize my Fe. I demanded emotional expression and I am often loud and expressive with my charisma, enthusiasm, charm, and loudness. This is way for me to deal with Fi shit (subjective moral judgment and psychological distance).

In a close relationship, emotional expression and open communication is needed for me to deal with my problem with Fi.

[lkdhf qkb]

I was a tom boy. I was also very pretty. In fourth grade all the girls hated me and all the boys had a crush. The lunch line was the worst part of the day. I started skipping lunch and not eating. Then I ask my mother if I could bring an orange in a brown bag to school.

Man that sucks, children can really be some little brats.

I remember being in 4rth grade and the class bully was a girl and she had a crush on me. Since she couldn't admit that she liked me, she'd pretend that she hated me. She'd say "I hate you so much!" and try to slap me, but she wouldn't put any strength into it and it was just an excuse to touch me. She started a lot of rumors, like that I'm an evil nazi and would turn her friends against me. I didn't let myself be pushed around and with my friends we'd start harassing the girls too. They would attack us and rip off our clothes, I remember once one of my friends returned from the lunch break without pants. It all ended when some of my friends wouldn't want to come to class anymore because they had nightmares of her. Parents and teachers had to step in. In retrospect she might be an ST type, mb SLE? lol crazy STs

[EUDAEMONIUM]

Also not to completely derail the thread. ST’s tend to really over compensate for weak Fi with either money or acts of service in come way. Almost all the delta ST’s that I know tend to give money the most to me for gifts in some way. Beta ST’s tend to do services or give experiences in a safe environment. Aka actions of security and physical romantic actions seem to compensate for talking about Fi feelings.

I don't think this derails the thread at all. My dad and I get along horribly but we have a very distant by friendly relationship right now.

He is an SLE. He doesn't get along with any of my siblings. There's a whole lot of stuff that isn't relevant, but to make it short he hasn't been the best dad to us in the past.

His way of showing love is offering to help us with stuff, like helping out with my or my brothers house. Letting us borrow things. That stuff.

Another thing is that STs do is they will start to assume a protector role over people they deem to be their people.

Some drunk driver hit me and then threw a beer bottle at my car one night when I was driving. When my dad found out he took me along to find the guy to attack him I guess, he needed me to pick him out for him.