How do you help an ISTp to stop sinning?
Hi!
I've an ISTp friend, and I recently found out that he has been cheating with his friend's girlfriend. I really want to meet up with him and try to talk him out of doing these things, but he has been trying to avoid meeting up with me directly.
Is there any other way I could reach out to him and hopefully help him turn around for good?
Last edited by kimchipancake; 06-30-2018 at 04:43 PM.
Send a posse
LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”
Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”
LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”
If he is real sinner then better stay away from him. At best you just annoy him, at worst you will have real trouble because of him.
If they're against the law, you know where to go. For anything else, ISTps don't like frontal assaults so you have to be very indirect so as not to appear a threat to anything they hold dear.
a.k.a. I/O
You can't stop anyone commiting sin, just Jesus. I don't think is your responsability the spiritual life of your friend, your responsability is your own spiritual life, for the rest you can prayfor him and talk to him if it comes to case, convince of sin is the work of the Holy Ghost, not men.
Hope that helps
Last edited by Hope; 06-29-2018 at 01:49 AM.
You can't bring such a pragmatic soul to heaven if he has not first seen hell.Originally Posted by kimchipancake
So take your SLI to a strip club after midnight. The pulsating rave music, flashing strobe lights, and the drunken dudes with their guts hanging out leering at half naked chicks who have enough makeup on to paint a mountain prussian blue will make an honest man shake with fear. Evil festers in a demonic masquerade, and those who perceive it vow they will never again be tempted by the dark side.
Let he without sin be the first to cast the stone.
All sins are equal in the eyes of God.
It's a hypocritical notion to say "stop sinning".
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
Guillotine. Off with his head! No head, no sin. Simple.
A posse with a guillotine
LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”
Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”
LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”
What about the rest of the body? It can still lie in sin with the earth.
Is the SLI interested in doing differently from what he's doing? If not, leave him be. Mind your own business.
I wouldn't do anything about it. Let him learn from his own mistakes. Sometimes, the best way to help someone is to just step aside and not interfere in anything and let them learn from their own mistakes and then be there for them when they need someone.
He's avoiding you. That's a pretty obvious sign that he doesn't want your "help". You're neither his mom nor are you entitled to push your values on him.
You can't really interfere with this. Eventually, they will learn to draw a line between what's bad and what's good FOR THEM. There is no "one size fits all" advice when it comes to matters of spirituality and self-improvement. Which is why I'm actually against self-help books and could never read them or take them seriously. They may work for some people, but they don't really do much for others.
The best you can do is let this SLI find their own way, and be there for them should they decide to come to you for comfort or aid.
“I want the following word: splendor, splendor is fruit in all its succulence, fruit without sadness. I want vast distances. My savage intuition of myself.”
― Clarice Lispector
The thing is... he never comes clean when he tries to get comfort from someone else. meaning he does not open up about what really happened, but uses some other excuse to get comfort. It happened once whereby he came to me for comfort after another girl he was seeing at the same time scolded him. instead of telling me the truth (which i still found out in the end), he told me that he needed "comfort" cos of work. I'd still be there for him if he needed someone there, but to not be honest with me about the reasons why he needed comfort, but use other excuses just to get what he wants... is very hard for me to accept :/
Thank you so much for your words Crystal! They enlightened meYou can't stop anyone commiting sin, just Jesus. I don't think is your responsability the spiritual life of your friend, your responsability is your own spiritual life, for the rest you can prayfor him and talk to him if it comes to case, convince of sin is the work of the Holy Ghost, not men.
Hope that helps
Oh I'm sorry to hear this, this would frustrate me too :/ Maybe you could tell him that you're not okay with him coming to you for comfort unless he's directly honest about why he needs it. This is only fair to you, because what if you don't want to comfort him knowing what kind of things he was just doing? Plus, lying is just disrespectful in a friendship, imo. Otherwise if you still want to comfort him, you'll be able to help better for knowing exactly what's bothering him.
It's possible he could still be dishonest about it, but if you find out again that he lied to you, then you can put your foot down and tell him to go somewhere else. But of course it's up to you
First of all, about use of the word "sinning". This is a word I am comfortable with, because it does acknowledge the truth of the existence of right and wrong. But I feel the odd one out, as I expect society around me to hate or to mock the word. It contradicts the prevailing notion that objective right and wrong does not exist. Sin, or wrongness, is seen as primarily subjective; everything is okay as long as you are happy doing it, and you are not really harming anyone too bad (and anyway if others are harmed it's often seen as at least partly fault since they chose to go along with it).The bottom line being: "If it makes you happy...") Pursuit of the self's happiness is highly valued.
However I do thinks it's good and right to state the truth as you see it to a friend. To say how the wrong thing makes you feel, or how it makes others feel, the harm done, or why the thing is wrong to do. (In your friend's case, he sounds like he may he take his own comfort as a priority over others' best interests. Not very lofty.). When you tell this to him, be explicit yet brief, and be quite clear and direct, because you only have one chance to state this, really. Repetition is not good. After you share it, then he chooses if what you say matters to him, or does not. If it does not matter to him, it puts him in another category in your life, a category of people who do not share your values. Not so suitable for your inner, close, trusted circle. You can endeavor to pray those others in, and should, as God's heart is very great for lost souls, and your prayers will please Him who loves them so much. God places a high value on freedom of choice, and He respects their right to choose right and wrong, even if their choice grieves Him. So that is our example.
"A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........
"Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
attitude acceptable to today's standards." - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"
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Hello Xaiviay!
I've already told him about it in a text, but he did not even respond to it :/
Make him write 1 billion times on paper: I'm going to stop sinning.
With help of this throughly tested bullet proof method ISTp will never commit a sin again with exception being usage of ink and paper. It took around 5 secs for me to complete it once so it would take close to 150 years to finish the project without breaks.
BTW this one shows how painfully short our life really is...
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
Well at least you were able to set your boundaries, it's a shame he didn't even respond. I'm sorry to hear that :/Hello Xaiviay!
I've already told him about it in a text, but he did not even respond to it :/
that would mean that he does not even care, right..?
I think that right and wrong in many cases is objective, although not always simple. And I think I am not the only person who sees things that way. However, I am not a Christian.I feel the odd one out, as I expect society around me to hate or to mock the word. It contradicts the prevailing notion that objective right and wrong does not exist. Sin, or wrongness, is seen as primarily subjective; everything is okay as long as you are happy doing it, and you are not really harming anyone too bad (and anyway if others are harmed it's often seen as at least partly fault since they chose to go along with it).
Having interacted with you over the years, I found in the past that it was hard to communicate with you in a common language and in terms that were not the ones you chose, ie Christian terms. If that is still an issue, it may very well leave you feeling the odd one out. But then it is less about your values and more about how you choose to convey them.
In this thread, the OP gave an evidently Christian judgment of someone’s behavior, but very little situational information. It leaves little to work with. Maybe the behavior is objectively sinful per Christianity, or clearly immoral per common standards, but if the question is how to change a situation, the description was inadequate.
LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”
Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”
LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”
Yeah, either he didn't care, or he's too embarassed to talk about the issue--those would be my guesses. Or some of both.
more importantly, how do I stop myself from sinning
corollary: if you find out, for your friend, live by example
you understand the good differently
if a woman "cheats" most probably she has no love to other one, feels badly with him
if someone cheats with a woman of his "friend" - he's doubtful to think that one as a friend
if there is no official marriage, the term "cheating" is not appropriate. she gave vows? no
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