My socionics type.

[TheFairyGeometry]

The Extended Questionnaire v0.2

1. What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

I am studying sciences in university. Also, quick information, I was not an native English-speaker. It is based on my parents’ choice and decision to plan a stable job for my future. They found my dream to become an artist and writer to be unreliable and tried their best to change my opinion. They persuaded me to enter to science university but have not succeeded in making me quit my ambition so far.

I actually do like sciences, have no prejudice against it so I think I should just finish to get a later job. Although I do heard my heart echoed its shattering everyday, but I am expected myself to at least take responsible for my life and be independent.

Even my subjects choices during my high school were those of my parents’ calculation. They wanted me to be accepted in sciences field so I was obliged to take “English, Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Mathematics”, instead of “English, Visual Arts, Drama, Biology and Mathematics”. I could have lived another life and been flourished, you know, but probably I could have made a mistake so I decided to take a safe road instead.

Nevertheless, I liked what I have learned. I developed an interest in Biology and natural world, especially Genetics and Botany. It helped me develop my habits of observing natures, people and other beings with objective perspective but also childlike-heart. I had to do experiment and observe animal and plant kingdom, went through woods, grew little bean trees, went through fresh air, sorted flowers and colours, although I was terrified of insects, and visited zoos to see monkeys, chimpanzees and tigers; in sort, it made me going outdoors more frequently and not confined within my room – which I certainly would do so because of my private trait.

In terms of Chemistry and Physics, I developed lesser attention. I was not really good with experiments in those subjects and often fell short in classes. Only in university I was conscious to have better work ethics I began to pay attention and received better results. There was also Mathematics, but only Theoretical Mathematics and not Practical-Solving Problems Mathematics. We used to have two papers on one Math-test and I always scored higher in the former.

I preferred Geometry than Algebra.

What I disliked about sciences in university is its strict requirements yet showing no effective routes for us to see as examples, to the point that there were many students among my peers developing psychological damage, since they always have to think ways in order to survive and I wished I could have been in brighter mood than I am right now for once in my student life. I have been told nothing but gloomy experiences from graduates who had come back from reality, like a future-citizen in 23^rd century took a flight and informed 21^st us, that the Earth would be destroyed and other miserable consequences would happen. We did not see future, we saw death with its long historical black coat appeared in front of us and told that we would be confined in our graves someday, not so much different from our situation daily being confined within rooms and studied silently without ends. I did not have more times to enjoy our life or explore myself, but constantly under extreme stress and anxiety, also guilt and shame. Our values as human beings depended on the test result more than our good intentions, which could have been true and undeniable – since practical sciences cared about results affecting on people and we cannot let you being intoxicated by the drugs or chemicals we discovered or invented.

2. What are your values, and why?

My emotional, romantic and artistic nature. My attempt in trying to develop a rich inner world and fresh perspective towards life, unique combinations and arrangement towards literature, inspiration and arts. My independence and, to be honest, I have a rather good mental strength.

3. What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

Literature, arts, books, documentary films, films. Running around to explore the place where I am living, to see little corners nobody usually paid attention. To dissolve myself in an idea, beautiful thoughts and natures. My attempt in trying to understand the structure and law of the world, forget myself its lofty dreamworld and satisfy with my position as long as my passion for literature still keep me alive and well.
I enjoyed walking alone through the woods. I like quiet, solitary places and can come to pagodas, shrines, churches, libraries, opera houses, museum and historical hotels, the local mall to eat ice-cream and drink frappucinos, the Santa-Claus sweet shop.
Why do I do them? For healthy pleasure, of course.

4. Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

I was a loner in every sense of the word. My relatives thought I was a secluded mystery, hated me but at the same time told me that I was “funny”, although I did not understand what was it in me made me funny.

My cousins could be categorized in to two types, one group saw me as competent and original human, striving to become a better and more knowledgeable person; the other group complained, contemned and laughed behind my back about my every features: my private life, my emotional unavailability, my coldness towards them, my sense of justice, my extreme ardour for literature and beauty, my arguments, my belief, my luck, my ugly and awkward presentation and uninterested in diplomacy- in other words, they hate me, they call me selfish alien, I call them idle hypocrites.

About my family, my mother was probably a tsundere. Violent mood-swings with short temper can be equal to that of a volcano. She tends to penetrate into her children’s life in order to control their very first steps and decisions, but with good morals, reason, an iron fist and a sharp tongue. She is even more argumentative than me, also could talks fiercely and loudly for more than three hours non-stop yet in such a charming manner that people are threatened, feel entertained and respect her at the same time. Her great attention for her job and career, her practicality, strategy and long-term plan is well-trained, along with good time management skills, office skills, keen sense of beauty, fashion, good presentation in front of public and undeniable talent for economy. She is a well-respected scientist, yet at the same time spiritually she is a devout Buddhist and attaches to her belief as it is something that has rooted from childhood. She provided everything you could wish for to have a comfortable and efficient life, but in terms of emotional well-being she was nearly a disaster. She is kind and lovable, but is a disaster. A disaster of a volcano-level. She’s married my father because she saw in him an idealistic and romantic hero, which I didn’t feel it strange deduced from her harsh childhood and secretly yearning for affection.

My father is a man who usually sees himself not in his realistic image, but his ideal image. He upholds his morality and high standards in his life. He strives for poetic justice, humanism and is quiet opinionated in his political views. He has many friends, everyone feels comfortable, emotionally engaged around him and sometimes people might take advantages of him without his knowing it. Actually, here is the hilarious point, that my father is kind-hearted, romantic and musically-sensitive, but secretly he is judgmental and critical towards people’s behaviour to see that person deserved his respect or not. He always silently judges others while they don’t know it, and never allowed his son to grow up becoming a sissy and pleaser, yet at the same time he less-than-frequently hangs out with his friends and many times forgives their misbehaves. As far as I observed, my father is more charismatic than diplomatic. He is sincere and never says things beforehand, but uncompromising in terms of belief and ideas. I am influenced a lot from him personality and viewpoint-wise, but while my father have a handful of friendship and appreciated acquaintances, I hardly preserved anyone for my companionship.

My elder brother: probably an Ethical Sensory Extraverted ESE-ESFj. We fought like hell and he would tell that I looked like a ghost with my long hair and nobody wanted me around because I was disrespectful, ungrateful and ugly. He was verbally offensive and many times physically violent to his own sister but unbelievably warm-hearted, friendly to his cousins, like a huge teddy bear in comic books. Yet he bought me plane ticket, took care of me, and if he did not go out with his girlfriend and a bunch of old high-school buddies, he would certainly made good meals for me and promised to support me financially if my parents get old and cannot work anymore. My relatives love him like a teddy bear and treat me like a black sheep of the whole clan. Conclusion reached, he is a Santa Claus and a rude reindeer at the same time.

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

I liked my friends to be “of true comradeship”, like in Three Musketeers. The one who could helped me and accepted my help also, we can learn together and share life experiences, and how could I say that in English? “Our lodestar will always pointed to the benefit of humanity and advancement of our career.” Sometimes I just wished to find a friend of same nationality who could understand and had the same artistic ambition. However, sadly, in my community I was constantly an absent object for ridicule and gossip. I can’t figure out why. I usually eat alone in canteen and study in solitude, yet I feel content with it. Sometimes I felt people can leisurely mention me behind my back, resulting my peers appeared to hate me without any solid reason. I understand why people gossiped and circulated “small talks” like elegant Austrian ladies would drop their tritsch-tratsch polka danced around, they have no bad intentions and only orally fabricated their stories for sake of flavours, “put some salt, peppers and taste in a cheap meal and everybody in a party will enjoy it”, I would say.

Romantic relationship-wise, I would like someone who can offer me loyal protection and cherish. He should understand that my dreams are unlimited, that I yearned for the stars and universe and if he could arrange my daily routine for me, I would be thankful. I don’t want a person who gives command, orders and feedbacks, or frequently reminds me of my past mistakes. I want a person who will encourage me, keep my interest of life fervent and play with me, experience real-life journeys with me and act innocent like we are children. In short, I expressed my upmost expectation to be “The Irreplaceable One” in his life, treat me like I will be forever his first love although in fact I am his wife and ultimate soulmate.

“You are so demanding of such unrealisable wishes,” you might say, but if so then get out of my dreams.

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

I have conflict with everyone in my life. Except my father, who I also had small conflicts, but rarely. Mostly because of my mood-swing and I was a hard-to-understand, sometimes jealous and emotionally unavailable person. But when I actually opened myself to them, I become attached and co-dependent to the point they did not want to see my face again. So I decided to go on my own way and got distanced.

How would your friends describe you?

Cold, atmosphere-disrupted, distracted, air-headed, argumentative, unpredictable, unforgettable, frequently falling into lofty-speech but actually doing nothing at all, unhelpful, jealous, too romantic and dreamy, everyone’s favourite hate girl. I don’t remember but mostly negative comments telling me how I was such a failure as a human being.

What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I don’t think people favoured me enough to see anything positive in me. They probably say that I was “unique and original”.

I live in my dream and artistic world, half-fairy half-advanced technology in a distant future on another planet, where you basically eat books to live and girls can run around, have grand adventures like in cinematography and distorted realities within prophetic dreams without worry about menstruation or any heavy women’s hormonal day.

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

Unrealistic to a fault. I could read atmosphere but at the same time was clumsy enough to lead a worsening situation reaching the point of destroy.

I don’t want to finish the rest of questionnaire today. I think I have talked enough, maybe next time. Thank you @thehotelambush for your questionnaire.

[kingslayer]

I could be wrong but you seem like gamma nt... perhaps intp

And your father seems gamma sf.. perhaps isfj.. Which explains why you guys get along. He's either your dual or activity partner

Intp also Makes you a conflictor with your ESE brother and he certainly sounds like one from your brief description.

I stand by ILI for you .

[Sol]

https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...=1#post1096450

[TheFairyGeometry]

Thank you for your answers. I went to Enneagram and typed myself as Enneagram 4. I always feel a bit too emotional to be a Thinker type (although this is all about functions, but still). Yet when I looked at ESE and SEI boys and girls, I could not help but thought, "I should stay away from these people."

I used to wonder if I was an IEI, because its description fits me so well, or rather, it fits my idealistic image of whom I could become. I was an airhead who wear rose-tinted glasses, not so much of a promise keeper, tended to think "the history of humanity involved with arts and beauty", full of compassion, romantic to a fault and could never arrange my calendar in an efficient way. I don't like graphs or pie charts, or economic calculations which I have zero interest nor wanting to understand. I got an E on my Accounting class during high school and had to switch it to Hospitality (Cookery) and Visual Arts - both of which, especially Hospitality included trips to restaurants and cultural food towns, were enjoyment to me. I was only obliged to learn these accounting stuff when in Mathematics we had probablities and economy-related parts.

Although it could be because I wasn't inspired to follow the subject and the teacher in Accounting class was an abusive person.

I was a fluid mess, although my house is somewhat-cleaner than average because I cannot stand dusts and papers spread around. I was not lazy but still not industrial enough to be truly competent in university. My grades are ridiculously up-and-downs and can never seem to maintain a stable demonstration of capability. One semester I was a hardworking student achieved good grades, one semester I was a slack and underachiever.

This could be because of my emotional unbalance and constant pressure from university. We basically do not have holidays for student in this country, like I did have when I attended high school in Australia. They have four semester each year and between each semester, there was a small 2-weeks break, thus in summer we are arranged to have 2 months for vacation.

But in university I nearly have zero vacation. I spent times to pass the exams and cannot have proper rest, resulting of my unexpected up-and-fall grades. I do not have motivation to study either and when you are surrounded by ambitious, over-achieving, intelligent people who still complained that they "were not good enough", you first thought was that of suicides, but then you have take responsibility of your family, they love you, pour money into your study route and don't want you to die so whatever, just yolo-ing, fate will decide whether you will be a loser or at least can publish a book.

Back to the main topic, reasons I do not think I was a IEI with a depressed tone and leaned more to ILI is that my incapability to be a peace-maker. I want an idealistic friend/relationship, but I cannot establish harmony at all. I hope I didn't offend Fe-valuing members, but I was not a type that tried my best to look beautiful when meeting others. I even thought it was a bit of "fake acting" and distanced myself from it. I'm much happier being an outsider looking in and not emotionally-involved with anyone, and more than frequently wished to be invisible from the world. If I involved, I want to be recognized because of my writing and arts and not simply "good relations and admirable presentation."