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Thread: INFj-ESTj dual relations discussion (EII-LSE)

  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by unsuccessfull Alphamale View Post
    But why? I came off accidentally very bossy by making a comment to an EII. Instant action. I mean it was like robot like move. Me=.
    It's nice when someone knows what needs to be done at the moment. I don't notice the actions that go on around me sometimes
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  2. #162
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    Makes sense based on suggestive IE. That particular incidence is pretty much fixed permantly in my mind.
    I have hard time at understanding how I have amazing ability "to notice things" according to others. I act like I'm totally blind when it comes to environmental details. Apparently seeing connections or Ne stuff is "noticing things". Never attributed that ability to it.

    My LSE brother tends to have similar topics in his mind when I compare it to EIIs. It would be interesting to know how the discussion actually flows.
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    Thanks for all replies UDP, Maritsa and kalinoche. The EII was fine and okay but that was just a short-lived thing, lasted some 2 weeks then she had some outbursts of childish anger thrown at me (lol@EIIs being like this) and we decided to split. Straight to the point, how come I seem to attract female LSIs? There is a history to that but to sum up I've met this gorgeous LSI woman this morning and she was so responsive, willing to help, though she's got that ST thing I don't tend to like in women in general, the fact that she was so friendly and we began a chat and she helped me with one work issue I was having trouble with and explained to me in far more detail and accurately (including her own mistakes she was making on the same law issue and how to correct them, with a friendly smile on her face) and her amazing looks made me think about this issue. Is there a mutual admiration/attraction between LSEs and LSIs? I tend to think so based on these and also other (friends, men) LSIs who seem drawn to me, and to want partnership with me. Quite frankly LSI is the easiest type for me to identify but they seem like they can change their mind at any given moment in almost anything if it's not in regard to their basic values, and this is something I really don't like much (though it may be thrilling for them).
    edit: i've come to wonder, maybe i'm SLE and it's a quadra thing... idk.

  4. #164
    Queen of the Damned Aylen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Airman View Post
    Thanks for all replies UDP, Maritsa and kalinoche. The EII was fine and okay but that was just a short-lived thing, lasted some 2 weeks then she had some outbursts of childish anger thrown at me (lol@EIIs being like this) and we decided to split. Straight to the point, how come I seem to attract female LSIs? There is a history to that but to sum up I've met this gorgeous LSI woman this morning and she was so responsive, willing to help, though she's got that ST thing I don't tend to like in women in general, the fact that she was so friendly and we began a chat and she helped me with one work issue I was having trouble with and explained to me in far more detail and accurately (including her own mistakes she was making on the same law issue and how to correct them, with a friendly smile on her face) and her amazing looks made me think about this issue. Is there a mutual admiration/attraction between LSEs and LSIs? I tend to think so based on these and also other (friends, men) LSIs who seem drawn to me, and to want partnership with me. Quite frankly LSI is the easiest type for me to identify but they seem like they can change their mind at any given moment in almost anything if it's not in regard to their basic values, and this is something I really don't like much (though it may be thrilling for them).
    edit: i've come to wonder, maybe i'm SLE and it's a quadra thing... idk.
    It is because you are a Casanova and apparently love women. I am not sure if you respect them though but that is based on some of your threads and possibly your culture. Men who love women can be attractive but it can't be a superficial love of women so what do you think you have? Is it a deep love or shallow?

    Anyway, they are probably attracted to that initially.

    Why do you think SLE now?

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    It is because you are a Casanova and apparently love women. I am not sure if you respect them though but that is based on some of your threads and possibly your culture.
    Yes of course I do respect them.

    Men who love women can be attractive
    You mean straight men CAN be attractive? Where are you from? lol... If you mean that Casanova type of man can be attractive, yes I guess women feel attracted to that but I don't feel like I'm some sort of Casanova. I am just completely helpless when it comes to attraction towards women - the pretty ones I mean. It's not under my control so to speak. I guess there's a whole pheromone and energy thing related to that. I kind of feed on females' energy. It's like a drug. It makes me a bit high.

    but it can't be a superficial love of women so what do you think you have? Is it a deep love or shallow?
    Deep when they deserve it. I still didn't discard that one EII who's messed with me so many times in my life during the past few years, I am still giving her one chance after another because I kind of see her on the inside and it is also very pretty not something a man concerned with having a good partner for a stable relationship would discard, though most men who dated her did that because of her temper issues. So it is deep when it deserves profundity, it is shallow when the woman is shallow to me.

    Anyway, they are probably attracted to that initially.
    Yea and so are you too probably (not to me, but to this type of guy). You don't admit it because women say one thing when in fact they want another thing. Women really want some type of man who can be a partner but without too much attachment, it is their part getting all attached to the male and trying to keep him from other females. This is nature. Women are in constant competition with one another for males, men are not that much into competition for females. Only natural.

    Why do you think SLE now?
    Don't know just thinking. But not really. I'm not Se-leading. I can see strong Se in me but not leading. Te or even Si leading fits better.

  6. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by Airman View Post
    Yes of course I do respect them.
    Like I said, some of your posts made me wonder. Giving intimate details about your ex while posting her pic was a bit strange to me. Also the way you have flirted with some forum members in chatbox then turned around and spoke rudely to them when they didn't respond also made me wonder. You seem very flirtatious in chatbox. lol No I am not going to single out who it was but I am sure they know even if you don't remember.

    You mean straight men CAN be attractive? Where are you from? lol... If you mean that Casanova type of man can be attractive, yes I guess women feel attracted to that but I don't feel like I'm some sort of Casanova. I am just completely helpless when it comes to attraction towards women - the pretty ones I mean. It's not under my control so to speak. I guess there's a whole pheromone and energy thing related to that. I kind of feed on females' energy. It's like a drug. It makes me a bit high.
    I mean men who love women can be attractive. Gay or straight. Does my syntax confuse you? You're not alone. It's good to let me know when it is difficult to understand something. Some people don't bother when their first language is not English.

    I am sure Casanova felt helpless as well.

    Deep when they deserve it. I still didn't discard that one EII who's messed with me so many times in my life during the past few years, I am still giving her one chance after another because I kind of see her on the inside and it is also very pretty not something a man concerned with having a good partner for a stable relationship would discard, though most men who dated her did that because of her temper issues. So it is deep when it deserves profundity, it is shallow when the woman is shallow to me.
    Is this the woman whose pic you posted or the other woman? Maybe you are in love.

    Yea and so are you too probably (not to me, but to this type of guy). You don't admit it because women say one thing when in fact they want another thing. Women really want some type of man who can be a partner but without too much attachment, it is their part getting all attached to the male and trying to keep him from other females. This is nature. Women are in constant competition with one another for males, men are not that much into competition for females. Only natural.
    I can be attracted to this type. Not to you specifically obviously and not to most people online. Not sure why you would think I wouldn't admit it. I might not date them but a man who loves and respects women, in general, gay or straight, is an attractive person. You can tell when it is genuine in most case. It is for the same reason men can find women, who genuinely love men, attractive.

    Don't know just thinking. But not really. I'm not Se-leading. I can see strong Se in me but not leading. Te or even Si leading fits better.
    Ok, I see why some might type you SLE. You are most likely sx first and that can look like Se lead sometimes.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    @Aylen , well you basically said what is common-sense and so I assume you have some common-sense which is good. I don't flirt on that chatbox though, this is a myth. I can see though why this has been seen to be flirting by some because I jokingly flirt, which is different, and I like to joke around saying 'i love [nickname of person]' and things like that but to me it's just a form of expressing some sort of affection which is not sexually related. But because I don't do that to men it is seen as flirting. I don't do that to men because it would be gayish. It's simple. To women, irl also, many times I'm misunderstood as 'trying a hit' on a woman when I make these jokes, I usually go and hug the woman in a fatherly manner and say something funny. But when it comes to real flirting I'm much more cautious than that. This type of bossy behaviour cost me some serious misunderstandings irl. But when I'm genuinely interested in a woman, I'm actually quiet and don't joke with her a lot, and prefer instead to try to take her to one-on-one conversations in a relaxed setting where we can know each other better. She won't really know I'm so into her until I kiss her, which I guess turns on women in general. It's a good strategy. The ones I joke with and say 'oh i love you so much' are not the ones I'm into. Sometimes things happen but the general rule is I take a more cautious and calculated approach when a woman really turns me on and seems nice. Perhaps I'm SLI. lol.
    I forgot one thing. I've met this gorgeous blonde who's 99.9% LSI and we're getting along so fine. It seems strange to me that I get along with LSIs especially for friendships. Perhaps someone can enlighten me on that, is there some IE 'mutual admiration' between LSEs and LSIs?

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    They're both part of the pragmatist club. The articles about that club may have some insight.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy8419 View Post
    They're both part of the pragmatist club. The articles about that club may have some insight.
    Thank you for that. This may be the reason why such a thing as a mutual attraction - not in an emotional or sexual manner, more like a magnetic attraction - happens between these two.

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    "I forgot one thing. I've met this gorgeous blonde who's 99.9% LSI and we're getting along so fine. It seems strange to me that I get along with LSIs especially for friendships. Perhaps someone can enlighten me on that, is there some IE 'mutual admiration' between LSEs and LSIs? "


    I don't generally get along GREATLY with LSIs, but not terribly either. I find most of the compatibility is enneagram wise. Or maybe you are very comfortable or attracted to people who are just like yourself? I'm rather not drawn to LSI romantically at all.... they seem narrow minded and kind of plain.

    Are you sure its just not because she is gorgeous ?
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

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    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    If it makes you feel any better, I throw all the uglies into Beta lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    In your country an EII self typing must be all the rage
    Taunting someone is being vengeful. Maritsa

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    EII - LSE duality halfway through

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    Default INFj in the eyes of ESTj

    Hi
    In order to improve relationship with ESTJ I would like to know how they view INFJ, "strength and weakness" or more what you appreciate and what you dislike. I speak from experience, not theory-wise. Just seeing if there are common stance that will be writed and see how it's possible to work on that
    Thx, sorry if the thread have already been made.
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    possible to work on what?
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Hi

    I think it is, as sometime one in a relation can make some error, if he see good potential for the relation and if he come aware of his error being really error and not him being true and the other false, he can try to change.... Even if he was true and the other false, the relation can continue, etc
    I don't want to speak about this relation itself or what was true or false, sorry,not wanting to disclose too much and/or on a person wich is not me (Ive done this already before, stop), perhaps one day.

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    Oh I didn't write well the first post, it was about working on relationship, I didn't mean working on the way ESTj see INFj or INFj see the ESTj

  18. #178
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    He found me to be nice and he loved that I welcomed and accepted his friends and family. So that's what LSE looks for, someone who is nice, who they can trust, who is going to accept their relationships and tries to build deeper relationships. I was very depressed for a long time but he found my "sad" "melancholy" "down" perspective attitude and opinion on the world annoying so I had to change that and be more uplifting lol
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  19. #179
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    ooh I am glad I came upon this.

    I have probably shared this elsewhere as well but...

    I will write more so as to what I would like in a significant other. I value compassion, honesty, kindness, and intelligence. I need someone who is very simple, sincere and straightforward in his communication. I have also always been attracted to "nurturing" or caring types...and I am certain I seek that out very strongly. Someone who is more grounded and self-assured than I am. And of course, I would like it to be passionate, intense...like someone I can completely and totally open up to and get very, very close to. "Merging" if you will. I would feel the need to seek out intensity and passion if I don't find it, and ironically I am also attracted to those who have a more stabilizing and/or grounding influence on me at the same time. So I seek both. He needs to be comfortable with the dark corners of the human soul and ideally, I would feel like I could tell him anything. I also think I have a submissive and child-like streak that has always been part of my sexuality, and that has drawn me to (very rare few) like a magnet, there was nothing I could do to stop that attraction. It feels like my achilles' heel, and I don't know if I absolutely need it in a relationship, though I do unconsciously seek it out.

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    I need someone with a smile, with some intellectual pursuit (right or things like that - my ex is now nurse it could be okay too since in thhis case we could have a ton of stuff about how are ppl to discuss - even if I would prefer an intellectual pursuit, for simply helping myself staying motivated on my proper Te -and be secretly admirative- and not be ego boosted at every turn. Ive another ex who turned in very humanitarian projects, I find that a little boring, I can understand a "very good girl" can please some ppl thought. I note that physically she was like the girl of my dream thought. Ive another junkie ex coming from my poor life choice, it could have worked in some condition but I don't want that anymore). A girl too wich can shout at me but stay cute for myself so I can respect the order given, don't have my defect of overanalyzing sometime ppl (just "be right" about ppl), is more accepting than myself in some way (in reality I'm accepting superficially but my shit are made at first encounter often, especially when I sense things can turn bad), have a sympathic circle of friend. It would be cool to follow the progression of a girl beginning with intellectual pursuit then coming to more administrative postion for example (full administrative ppl -prob ESTJ dom- tend to clash a litlle with me on the other hand).

    I don't like when ppl are taking stuff too much with poor value like "self esteem" and idiocy like that (even worst - virility undestood as finding all girl are shit), Ive known that, my ex was far simpler but had very happy and simple life view at her core it almost made me cry, I described the relation to someone who criticized her comportment like her = no self esteem me = not having balls, big bullshit like that. Generally I dislike what we could call value wich "separate" ppl instead of "make them together". Even "intelligence" is a value that can make me a little stressed (esp. when it stay a value and not a fact). To myself my ex had far more self esteem than someone who speak about it at evey turn, just because she justly didn't spoke about it, it was almost like a foreign concept for her, just needed at some time when things need to be reframed perhaps, idk. Idk, Ive a strong respect for my ex cuz I understood too late she was the perfect independant girl who can potentially make ppl less dilligent jealous and I can't accept ppl criticizing her for poor reason.

    What Ive to offer...... Idk lol for this moment. I'm working on this. FTM I hope just being able to provide, be okay parent, stuff like that.

    In all at first I took myself as a weirdo wich lead me in various fucked up situation and neurosis, but finally head more for simplicity in life with time.
    Last edited by noaydi; 01-23-2019 at 12:02 PM.

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