Yes/no and why.
Me: absolutely not but of course, I'm assuming I'm given something in good shape.
Yes/no and why.
Me: absolutely not but of course, I'm assuming I'm given something in good shape.
[] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
No, in this society we should be deeply grateful for any selflessness no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. (that probably sounds both condescending and mary sue ish... and preachy all at the same time, but yeah.) Knowing how impolite and rude a lot of people are (I'm not whining about people I realize that there are decent people in the world blah blah blah) but ... it's naive to say that everybody understands compassion and the like, and so- any gift that I receive I am thankful for.
it really depends. i generally don't mind old/used things provided they're usable. i'm definitely not offended when my sister offers me the first pick of her old clothes before she donates them. and if someone i know less has something they want to get rid of, that's ok too. this being said, there are moments when you are "owed" a gift (birthdays, christmases, etc.) and these gifts are usually packed prettily etc. giving old/used stuff is generally discussed openly, it's not decorated with paper/bow and can be refused, so in many ways it's not really a "gift", more like "reduce, reuse, recycle" applied. if situation requires it, you can always give someone a cheap box of chocolates as the official "gift" and offer them something used separately. it's just a social/cultural norm that everyone follows. to give something obviously used as such a gift is generally considered rude and everyone is aware of the fact, therefore doing it is as good as *meant* as an insult and that is bothering in itself. it's like, you may not care about being called a bitch, but if someone does it to insult you, their intention is hurtful even if the words are not.
What Aiss said. My family mostly received pre-owned (barely-used or once-tried) gifts last Christmas, but it was due to my own monetary situation (college student living off a min-wage ~15 hrs-per-week job). I don't mind buying new when I can. As for everyday "I thought you might like this" gifts, I have no problem passing on something I've tried and did not care for. Far better to give to to someone who'll use it than to waste the money.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
I would be, most things in this throw away society are designed to be discarded.
Reads; You better keep that tampon away from me bitch, lest you taste the flavor of my backhand.
No. I'm always happy just to have someone think about me. In fact, since I like neat old objects I'm often happiest to receive something old and used.
"[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan
Brought to you by socionix.com
I gave a digital camera as a gift last year and this person was complaining that it was nearly useless because it was always left at home when it was most needed so I took a mental note and gave a smartphone with autofocus camera and it was turned down due to being "used". The phone is in good condition, it is not broken or anything it just has the normal wear.
[] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
Yes, because I'm an asshole.
Infact I generally dislike getting gifts. Because I'm an asshole.
And truck likes me being an asshole.
Hm, strange. Taking offense is something I'd do if I or someone else around me was insulted. I think receiving a slightly used gift would be more so intriguing than anything. Sounds like your recipient was a little rude about it, or am I misinterpreting? In my mind, at least you gave something!
@AbsurdEnough I loved learning about the 5 Love Languages. I enjoyed the book, and if nothing else, it makes you pay attention to how others give (and therefore most likely want to receive) love. I tried to explain this to a friend of mine, and she merely said "if only it were so simple", but I do think an accumulation of small things (small changes) can add up to make a great difference. My husband has also given a little attention to it, although he doesn't always remember to speak my language. He prefers to speak his and give me gifts or allow me to buy extra nice things, as I typically don't spend money (except on theme parties)
For me, I long to hear Words of Affirmation, to the point where I may stealthily-and-not-so-openly fish for a compliment, or even an opinion, which I would hope might be complimentary. Nothing makes my day like a genuine compliment. My love bucket feels empty without it.
I'm also very touchy, but only with my spouse.
And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30
Wonder if there are patterns between love languages and socionics. I suspect my mother in law is LSE, and all she wants is Quality Time (riding bikes, traveling, etc), and some words of affirmation, specifically words that show appreciation for all the little things she does for the family (because there are MANY)
And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you?- Matthew 6:30
When it comes to human beings, simple actions mask deeper and more complex motivations. I don't think this person is ungrateful; what I think is that hasn't reached maturity yet. You know, when you're low on self esteem and seek vanity to compensate, peer pressure can be the shaping force behind everything. And there is people who assume that your personal worth is associated to what you have because in many environments this determines your level of acceptance. A lot of people learn to think this way.
I'm not surprised then that this person, contaminated with this idea, thought that I was devaluing by giving something used. I don't need to hear it to be honest; I'm sure that the first idea that came to the mind wasn't the usefulness of what was given and the joy it would bring by solving an expressed problem. It was probably "I'm not worth enough to be given something new".
[] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
I hate getting gifts because I've done relatively well for myself money-wise. If you're going to give something away, give it (or its monetary equivalent) to a poor person or a charity.
yes, being given gifts and implicitly expected to return the favor offends me.
[] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)
You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.
It's not used, it's antique.