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Thread: EII-LSE Duality Relations (INFj-ESTj)

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    With established LSE/EII couples I see a lot of "helpmate" stuff. LSE is out working, but will call home at lunch hour just to see what's going on. Might end the phone conversation with a simple "I love you".

    EII defers to LSE on many decisions (that the EII orchestrated behind the scenes) as though they are LSE idea. "Well what about this (consideration)?" "Or that?" Or that?" Or this?" (note the Ne here) LSE feels useful and EII gets real support, which lets them feel safe. Safe EII feel comfortable being silly in a playful sense, but can turn that off quickly for 'business'. EII notice small unconsidered details and feels useful in return, with reminding LSE. LSE drops the stress associated with time frames and feels reassured someone is "watching the home fires", even if that person still doesn't know how to light said fire (1d Te). "I know hun I'm can't figure out how to do it, but I'm trying to be perfect for you." LSE self esteem gets a boost hearing this. "I will do it for you."

    Several "Home Improvement" shows on HGTV portray this couple dynamic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    With established LSE/EII couples I see a lot of "helpmate" stuff. LSE is out working, but will call home at lunch hour just to see what's going on. Might end the phone conversation with a simple "I love you".

    EII defers to LSE on many decisions (that the EII orchestrated behind the scenes) as though they are LSE idea. "Well what about this (consideration)?" "Or that?" Or that?" Or this?" (note the Ne here) LSE feels useful and EII gets real support, which lets them feel safe. Safe EII feel comfortable being silly in a playful sense, but can turn that off quickly for 'business'. EII notice small unconsidered details and feels useful in return, with reminding LSE. LSE drops the stress associated with time frames and feels reassured someone is "watching the home fires", even if that person still doesn't know how to light said fire (1d Te). "I know hun I'm can't figure out how to do it, but I'm trying to be perfect for you." LSE self esteem gets a boost hearing this. "I will do it for you."

    Several "Home Improvement" shows on HGTV portray this couple dynamic.
    The writing is slightly uncomfortable here, but I can confirm its reality.
    There are even remarks that can be traced to some of the older profiles about "EII creating comfort/beauty in small details and refinements, and LSE doing this in broader strokes".

    EIIs ability to be silly in THE RIGHT moments, and not interfere with Te or Se things (demonstrative Se is ... entitled to its methods) is great.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    The writing is slightly uncomfortable here, but I can confirm its reality.
    There are even remarks that can be traced to some of the older profiles about "EII creating comfort/beauty in small details and refinements, and LSE doing this in broader strokes".

    EIIs ability to be silly in THE RIGHT moments, and not interfere with Te or Se things (demonstrative Se is ... entitled to its methods) is great.
    I'm writing in terse sentences these days. Just roll with it.

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    Actually, a real life couple I know is this way:

    The EII is kind of the 'dominatrix' in the classical sense, of the home. At social events she'll kind of power-pout and the LSE , to be honest, looks kind of whipped and jumps to action. It's kind of funny because she's clearly Se POLR in general. He is the military man, she is the creative writer jk rowling nf fairy hippie trope.

    She's slightly socially controlling and he's socially yielding in the family sense, but it works out for them.

    Earlier in my life, the same EIi tried to guilt-trip me when I backed out of some plans , "you're going to do that now, after i rearranged my whole day to do this for you/us?!", etc. I didn't conform there, but I have from other people in similar ways before - especially if I am close or respect them. I feel like that kind of Fi pull would generally work on people, and I was actually more Fi-pout whipped in earlier relationships myself.

    I think 1d Fi people when they are unsure of themselvs or their morality can be somewhat "overly domesticated" in that sense, differing to any semblance of impropriety. Even, I'd say, this is why sometimes LSE are referred to as being secondarily victim erotic role types.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wacey View Post
    I'm writing in terse sentences these days. Just roll with it.
    No it's uncomfortable because its a truth and sappiness that makes it uncomfortable, not a flaw in your writing.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    @Slugabed what would you type emma watson as?

    I've never seen harry potter but I always thought emma seemed nice. im surprised you dont like her

    i honestly dont have any ideas about her type since ive had very little exposure to anything of hers
    I don't know her type, maybe EII? or some introverted feeler.


    I haven't seen so much of her stuff either.


    Anyway I really don't hate her, I was just exaggerating, but I don't consider her a good actress (she has really poor acting skills imo) and also I think that there exist brilliant and admirable women who have done a lot of things and help women everyday, so I don't know why the ONU (and the ppl in general, but maybe its because they are fans) thinks that a hollywood actress (that actually promoted the stereotype of smart girls are bossy in her HP role, lol) is more honorable for speaking to the world about women rights. I hate when hollywood and those organizations threats ppl and their public as if we all are idiots and insult women intellect like that. She should speak those words to all the hollywood magnates and film producers who are the ones that has been promoting oversexualization of women for money instead of talking to us.


    Then, a lot of ppl acclaim those kind of things as if she was saying something new and being really brave, lol. Barbie would write a better discourse (and who knows if she really wrote that)…and how about speaking of real problems? what solutions is taking the onu against those problems? when hollywood will start treating women in respectful way? or they will still insulting us with this poor discourses and using rich hollywood girls to "speak" for women rights?


    I mean…those kind of things is what one cant help but think... and then ppl acclaim those actresses like if they were heroines just because they are famous, when most of real heroines are unknown, poor and without the support of the onu. Then random dudes come to insult women in name of female rights because I give my personal opinion about one of those girls (and like I've no right of having an opinion more than hollywood opinion)… and like they believe that women should accept all of these things because "it talks about women stuff" and then one is bitter because women with strong opinions are bitter...


    Specially because its pure hypocri$y, you know. My pov, ofc.


    All in all it seems like I was right about some ESTjs and girls folding socks, you know?
    Last edited by Hope; 02-18-2018 at 05:53 AM.

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    yeah you make a great point about how being a "moral saint" in the eyes of the public is often just another privilege manufactured for the rich and famous

    i wonder if they even would have gone that way with her image if it wasn't for the harry potter character basically planting the seed in everyone's mind predisposing them to viewing her that way. like if Hermione had been a badass bitch she'd be viewed completely differently, and Emma would be a punk icon or something in order to make money

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    Watson seems way too... Fe valuing and expressive in her face to be EII.
    That's my completely superficial and not invested in Watson - 2cents

    like her eyebrows never stop moving, man
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
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    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slugabed View Post
    LSEs like the "classical feminine beauty", I've seen a lot of EIIs looking like that, I mean, long hair, cute dress, soft voice...that kind of stuff. They also like the typical feminine traits, like cooking, decoration, kindness... the -I like to please others- kind of chick etc. LSEs males also like to portray the typical masculine attitudes and to be in charge (take all the decisions, etc). Not all the girls can stand that, enjoy pleasing others or have that kind of look. They also like to feel intellectually superior, so a know it all is not really their option.

    The typical girl who would admire his intelligence, who would wait for him at home, while cook the dinner and fold his socks. If she has artistic tendencies and read about politics, its a plus.


    this look is all Fe to me, such a poser, what's that fake smile? ESE

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    Quote Originally Posted by hybris theory View Post
    this look is all Fe to me, such a poser, what's that fake smile? ESE
    Its an ironical reference of their expectations.
    Not that they'll get that irl.
    Anyway, compare Emma Watson with the girl on the pic, for example. I see not so much difference.







    On the other hand, yes, I've seen a lot of LSEs going for ESEs (but I don't think that any of them are ESE, imo ).

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    So you make Emma an EII?
    looks really Fe..
    http://womenlaughingalonewithsalad.tumblr.com/

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    Quote Originally Posted by hybris theory View Post
    So you make Emma an EII?
    looks really Fe..
    http://womenlaughingalonewithsalad.tumblr.com/
    I don't know her type, actually. I said that above. Its my guessing. Other ppl in mbti forums says that she's INFJ.

    The one I really think is INFx is Kristen S. but Emma don't look so different from her in VI imo.

    But I know an EII girl and I've seen some EIIs who smile like that in pics too.
    Last edited by Hope; 02-18-2018 at 05:53 AM.

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    Yeah the 2 girls have a similar body type, and even faces are kind of masculine somehow, they're bony. I agree with UPD that Emma sends a sort of Fe (fakish) vibe, while Kirsten looks more Si and introverted to me, maybe she might be one SLI.. or SEI. Emma doesn't strike me much like an EII tbh...

    I know I'm biased saying Fe is fakish but it relays on the environment's judgement so I don't know how to rephrase it better..

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    Quote Originally Posted by hybris theory View Post
    Yeah the 2 girls have a similar body type, and even faces are kind of masculine somehow, they're bony. I agree with UPD that Emma sends of a sort of Fe (fakish) vibe, while Kirsten looks more Si and introverted to me, maybe she might be one SLI.. or SEI. Emma doesn't strike me much like an EII tbh...

    I know I'm biased saying Fe is fakish but it relays on the environment's judgement so I don't know how to rephrase it better..
    Nah, K Stew its not SLI because she has no Te.

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    I'm really against the whole "EIIs have a modest appearance (cute dress blah blah) and are made of sugar and everything nice." Modern day EIIs are so different and y'all should stop stereotyping. Most of the descriptions that I'm seeing put me off because they're inaccurate and sound quite Fe. Most EIIs I know do not cook, most have an androgynous look and are not into the whole cute dress no showing skin bullshit. And I think for this reason LSEs may prefer Fe users (because they fulfil the feminine role?) @sorrows this is in reply to your over generalized post.
    Last edited by Shytan; 08-05-2017 at 07:20 AM.

    C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479

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    Thot catalogue descriptions yeah?

    *blah blah cultural bias
    *blah blah Russia as Strong-Man Worship land
    *blah blah good thing psychological lopsidedness isn't about societal stereotypes etc etc
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    I can see how the stereotype of EIIs is this picture of shy cute girls all ethereal and made of pink cotton candy, but that might not really be the case in their looks, mostly because they often don't care much of "looks", that's more a Fe thing. Sure, they can spend time taking care of themselves and dress to impress too, but that won't be a habit. I think the stereotype though works well for romantic relationships, I see EIIs (or myself) as somewhat passive, subdued to the partner's whims and external emotional demonstrations.. not necessarily romantic ones (and this might be related to weak Se). I always feel like I have to please people around me, my partner even more, even at the cost of damaging myself in the process. Not healthy, not recommended and maybe even not a rule, but the "softness" of EII's manners to me just lies in the human interactions, often at EII's expense.

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    i think its progress for delta nfs to realize they don't have to automatically barter or trade some of their power or well being to facilitate a relationship

    not all do this
    i think its most often in compliant types (enneagram triad)
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
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    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    weird because i don't belong to any compliant etype, but u right, there are definitely more mature eiis that can work out their relationships better, although i think it's somehow in our nature to let others take the lead in some private matters. here i'd like to specify that it's hardly ever an intellectual lead, we still think independently, it's more like a physical abandon to forces we know we'd handle poorly, that is related to what te/si/se lack are about. talking from my pov though

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    EIIs have the ability to detach from a situation or person, and often prefer this position because it permits better objectivity. This ability doesn't impact on the EIIs commitments or feelings toward someone or something whatsoever but it does give an (false?) impression of aloofness and or ambivalence. LSEs don't seem to allow people to detach whatsoever (often, in an in-ones-face type of way) and they certainly don't ever seem to be ambivalent. The EII will frequently address the LSEs aggressiveness with a passionate "sermon" delivered in a deflective (generalized, not aimed at anyone) sort of way, which has an unusual soothing effect. The dynamic does seem to soften each others outward appearances when in group situations - the EII becoming more animated while the LSE dials it down.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    ^ This inspires another thread hm.

    I'll make something about the presence of people from your own quadra in social situations.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Good throwback tune



    This is actually a reply to http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...=1#post1209545


    OOOPS
    Last edited by UDP; 01-13-2018 at 02:54 AM.
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    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    For what it's worth (and sorry for stepping right in the middle of this battleground, I'll let you two keep doing your thing once i'm done) I didn't really see UDP's actions as being worthy of such a judgement ('You sound like a dick').

    To me, it depends. What plans did they have together, exactly? For how long have they been planning it? Thoroughly, for about two weeks, or was it more like a two-days-ago-we-decided-to-go-for-a-coffee kind of thing? Why has UDP cancelled the plans? They must've had a good reason to, as well. But I also understand their EII friend's disappointment, as being swooooshed like that isn't really nice either.

    Keep on keeping on
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    Quote Originally Posted by domr View Post
    Length of time is irrelevant because reneging a person you met last night and reneging a person you've known for years is still reneging.

    You have a point about the reason for reneging. However we can infer from the context of the writing and the words said that there wasn't a good reason. (NeFi) If he had a good reason then he would have said, "I stood up this person, they were offended. I apologized and explained my rational. I had a good reason. They forgave me." However he viewed the other person being upset and wanting him to take accountability for his actions as being whipped and guilt-tripping. Complete opposite.
    I don't know. I could see that too, yes. But I still believe that UDP must've had a reason to do that, it's just that they didn't feel obligated to share it with an online forum, maybe.
    Although when saying something like that, leaving the reason why you did such a thing aside isn't really a great choice either.
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    Anyways, to get back to the topic. So LSE and EII duality is hit or miss? Is that what everybody is saying pretty much, like there's something there but it's not "always" there but when it's there it could be good for both people?

    I feel like alot of these posts have touched on things I've actually experienced and on how I imagined things would play out.

    IME something is there but I never got far enough to run into the problems. I am an EII guy though so with LSE women it might have a different twist to it maybe?
    @UDP got a link to your thread of meeting someone form your quadra in public?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Anyways, to get back to the topic. So LSE and EII duality is hit or miss? Is that what everybody is saying pretty much, like there's something there but it's not "always" there but when it's there it could be good for both people?

    I feel like alot of these posts have touched on things I've actually experienced and on how I imagined things would play out.

    IME something is there but I never got far enough to run into the problems. I am an EII guy though so with LSE women it might have a different twist to it maybe?
    @UDP got a link to your thread of meeting someone form your quadra in public?
    LSE & EII duality is probably just as hit or miss as any other duality, in the sense that duals are very different from each other and if they've never had any prior experience with a dual, they might not find the other person familiar enough to want to interact with them enough (IME, this usually requires about two hours, in the case of the LIE-ESI duality) to notice the effects of duality.

    I worked with a male EII a few years ago, and I told him I knew of a woman who was his dual at a food market. He and I went there for lunch and he talked to her for a few minutes, and later said to me that she seemed really angry. I thought she was brusque, business-like, frustrated a bit with the red tape that the market imposed on her, and wondering if her efforts were appreciated by the people running the market. And maybe a bit angry, yes. Nothing came of that, because he quit the company shortly after that to work on supercomputers.

    In a second case, I work with a female EII, a wonderful woman, and a very hard-working male LSE. She seems to be in the process of finding a new husband and I suggested that she talk to the LSE to find out what her duals are like. She descended on him in his office, and after a few minutes he kind of panicked and said he had to call his wife right away. Lol.
    I later asked her what she thought of him, and she said he was a pill (meaning he was a bit hard to take).

    Duality initializes best when both duals are experiencing problems that they can't solve individually, because their dual can often solve the problem for them. This leads them to realize that the person whom they thought was an alien is actually just right. But lacking that unsolvable problem, they might otherwise remain aliens.

    You can read more about LSE-EII duality here: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...Stratiyevskaya

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Anyways, to get back to the topic. So LSE and EII duality is hit or miss? Is that what everybody is saying pretty much, like there's something there but it's not "always" there but when it's there it could be good for both people?

    I feel like alot of these posts have touched on things I've actually experienced and on how I imagined things would play out.

    IME something is there but I never got far enough to run into the problems. I am an EII guy though so with LSE women it might have a different twist to it maybe?
    @UDP got a link to your thread of meeting someone form your quadra in public?
    FiTe duality is harder than FeTi duality. It's harder for people to work together on relationship issues because the ethical function is more complex and needs more refinement.

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    Quote Originally Posted by domr View Post
    FiTe duality is harder than FeTi duality. It's harder for people to work together on relationship issues because the ethical function is more complex and needs more refinement.
    Are you saying that spanking them until they submit doesn't work?

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    Childlike types need to be spanked sometimes too.
    “I want the following word: splendor, splendor is fruit in all its succulence, fruit without sadness. I want vast distances. My savage intuition of myself.”
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Are you saying that spanking them until they submit doesn't work?
    With Se types I work with (although seems more with the Se creatives), sometimes I just agree with them because it makes life easier. They can be quite insistent, and if it's not something of huge importance, what's the harm in giving a little to get a little? What can I say then perhaps I've been well spanked.

    So yeah, I suppose spanking in not just the metaphorical and even the literal sense can be a fairly effective treatment.

    Water boarding works too, of course, so I hear.
    Last edited by at sirac son of sirac; 02-24-2018 at 06:30 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    LSE & EII duality is probably just as hit or miss as any other duality, in the sense that duals are very different from each other and if they've never had any prior experience with a dual, they might not find the other person familiar enough to want to interact with them enough (IME, this usually requires about two hours, in the case of the LIE-ESI duality) to notice the effects of duality.

    I worked with a male EII a few years ago, and I told him I knew of a woman who was his dual at a food market. He and I went there for lunch and he talked to her for a few minutes, and later said to me that she seemed really angry. I thought she was brusque, business-like, frustrated a bit with the red tape that the market imposed on her, and wondering if her efforts were appreciated by the people running the market. And maybe a bit angry, yes. Nothing came of that, because he quit the company shortly after that to work on supercomputers.

    In a second case, I work with a female EII, a wonderful woman, and a very hard-working male LSE. She seems to be in the process of finding a new husband and I suggested that she talk to the LSE to find out what her duals are like. She descended on him in his office, and after a few minutes he kind of panicked and said he had to call his wife right away. Lol.
    I later asked her what she thought of him, and she said he was a pill (meaning he was a bit hard to take).

    Duality initializes best when both duals are experiencing problems that they can't solve individually, because their dual can often solve the problem for them. This leads them to realize that the person whom they thought was an alien is actually just right. But lacking that unsolvable problem, they might otherwise remain aliens.

    You can read more about LSE-EII duality here: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...Stratiyevskaya
    Thanks for the examples and the link, yea that's kind of how I imagined it, but I never considered the un-solving problem bit.

    The guy panicked and had to call his wife lol wow, is that implying what I think it's implying looool.

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    Quote Originally Posted by at sirac son of sirac View Post
    With Se types I work with (although seems more with the Se creatives), sometimes I just agree with them because it makes life easier. They can be quite insistent, and if it's not something of huge importance, what's the harm in giving a little to get a little? What can I say then perhaps I've been well spanked.

    So yeah, I suppose spanking in not just the metaphorical and even the literal sense can be a fairly effective treatment.

    Water boarding works too, of course, so I hear.
    What I know is that violence tends to beget violence. It's a good thing my son's mother was raised better than I was and said to me, when she was pregnant and we were discussing discipline, "We're not hitting the kid."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Thanks for the examples and the link, yea that's kind of how I imagined it, but I never considered the un-solving problem bit.

    The guy panicked and had to call his wife lol wow, is that implying what I think it's implying looool.
    It means she wanted what she wanted and had all the levers to manipulate him perfectly and naturally, and he isn't married to a dual so he's never experienced that kind of thing before. Plus, as a Te-dom, he keeps his feelings locked up in chains in the basement behind a barred door and tries hard not to listen to their muffled screaming, but when someone comes along with a key to all the locks and just breezes in, he freaks out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    they might not find the other person familiar enough to want to interact with them enough (IME, this usually requires about two hours, in the case of the LIE-ESI duality) to notice the effects of duality.
    Often people make pairs with the ones which they know rather more than 2 hours. It's people which study, live or work near, who are familiars of friends, etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    What I know is that violence tends to beget violence. It's a good thing my son's mother was raised better than I was and said to me, when she was pregnant and we were discussing discipline, "We're not hitting the kid."
    The truth is that spanking, when done appropriately, is among the best methods of discipline - as backed up by scientific research (I could link this, but why bother getting into a debate).

    I don't know about your parents, but I hope your child won't say the same thing about his. (It can surprise me at times when people blame their parents for stuff rather than just accepting they are where they are in life now, and working on themselves as flawed people, should they wish to, just like mom and pop never had all the answers either). And, it's better not to be bitter.
    Last edited by at sirac son of sirac; 02-25-2018 at 07:21 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    It means she wanted what she wanted and had all the levers to manipulate him perfectly and naturally, and he isn't married to a dual so he's never experienced that kind of thing before. Plus, as a Te-dom, he keeps his feelings locked up in chains in the basement behind a barred door and tries hard not to listen to their muffled screaming, but when someone comes along with a key to all the locks and just breezes in, he freaks out.
    Hahaaa, yup, this is where my mind was going. This makes it more vivid though.

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    One funny and subtle thing I've observed about ESTjs are this. When they are feeling bad or low or insecure about something if it's ever expressed, it's expressed as a joke. And that seems like a defense mechanism, if I were to explain it, it would be like , they are experiencing some distress ( whether it be extreme or mild I do not know) but they don't want to seem sensitive so they say it as a joke just incase someone thinks they are weak they can say "Nah I don't really care I am joking," BUT if you actually show concern in how they are doing when they express something like this you might get a more down to earth less jokey response. It's like they are fishing for someone to take concern in their low emotional state BUT don't want to pressure others or appear weak so they have an exit which is "I'm just messing around, I'm fine." As an Fi 4D though, it is easy to tell that the "hurt" is real under the joke BUT the joke is placed so you do not take the hurt so seriously so a subtle approach is required, so instead of asking "OMG WHAT's wrong?!" (since that would be an over-reaction) an EII might just ask "Hey you alright man?" And throw in a laugh to match the playful joke while showing real concern. That fine line between serious and playful seems to be matched there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    One funny and subtle thing I've observed about ESTjs are this. When they are feeling bad or low or insecure about something if it's ever expressed, it's expressed as a joke. And that seems like a defense mechanism, if I were to explain it, it would be like , they are experiencing some distress ( whether it be extreme or mild I do not know) but they don't want to seem sensitive so they say it as a joke just incase someone thinks they are weak they can say "Nah I don't really care I am joking," BUT if you actually show concern in how they are doing when they express something like this you might get a more down to earth less jokey response. It's like they are fishing for someone to take concern in their low emotional state BUT don't want to pressure others or appear weak so they have an exit which is "I'm just messing around, I'm fine." As an Fi 4D though, it is easy to tell that the "hurt" is real under the joke BUT the joke is placed so you do not take the hurt so seriously so a subtle approach is required, so instead of asking "OMG WHAT's wrong?!" (since that would be an over-reaction) an EII might just ask "Hey you alright man?" And throw in a laugh to match the playful joke while showing real concern. That fine line between serious and playful seems to be matched there.
    Hm, I'd disagree somewhat on the bolded. Humor can be used, yes, and another common expression is anger. Sometimes they also start lecturing. The topic of the anger and lectures might not be directly related to the insecurity, but usually there's at least a tangential connection. The angst can also come across as pseudo-victim either "assertive backing away" or even a form of passive aggressiveness.

    For example, a LSE I know one time realized they were rambling, got self-conscious about it (not very visibly to the untrained eye, but I caught it), then very purposefully avoided talking to me the rest of the evening. As they left at the end of the night, they said something along the lines of apologizing for our boring conversation and then disappeared before I could correct the misunderstanding / address the insecurity.

    The pseudo-victim-y-ness can be compared to when an EII goes off the rails when they're upset, acting all aggressive. It's transparent and pathetic, and to anyone who actually is a victim/aggressor I imagine it's off-putting or confusing. To other caregivers/childlikes, especially same quadra, it can be an effective if somewhat eye-roll-causing call for help.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    Hm, I'd disagree somewhat on the bolded.
    Among not close or familiar people LSE often play Fe-image "all is ok" part of what mb depreciation of problems, including through joking.

    > Humor can be used, yes, and another common expression is anger. Sometimes they also start lecturing.

    seems you were lucky to communicate with E-1 version

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minde View Post
    The pseudo-victim-y-ness can be compared to when an EII goes off the rails when they're upset, acting all aggressive. It's transparent and pathetic, and to anyone who actually is a victim/aggressor I imagine it's off-putting or confusing. To other caregivers/childlikes, especially same quadra, it can be an effective if somewhat eye-roll-causing call for help.
    To me it just comes off as tantrumy hatefulness

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