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Thread: EIIs/INFjs being judgemental

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default EIIs/INFjs being judgemental

    Im so stinking judgmental. A couple comes in the store today and shows us pictures of their wedding and the man says “we’ve been together for so long we thought we’d get married “ and the new wife says “yeah it’s been over 20 years.” I’m looking at the wedding pictures trying to refrain myself from saying something awkward since these are great people but what I was thinking was “you decide to get married NOW????!!!! seriously??!??? What the eff if the point?!?” And while I’m thinking this and shaking my inner head she says “it really feels different to be married” and my inner thoughts are saying “this is idiotic. At least the cake looks awesome.”
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Hot Scalding Gayser's Avatar
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    lol yes you are. But most people are probably just as judge-y as you. Only God is supposed to judge but we judge anyway. /shrug.

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    Well one of the reasons why people (remain) judgmental, is probably because they receive no feedback from others. If you're being judgmental and you see that the person being judged is being uncomfortable, then you'd probably stop the judging. That's the "stopper" for being judgmental.

    You on the other hand seem to consistently want to show yourself as a "hardened soul" and an "unemotional badass" with "big balls". You mock people for crying easily while you don't, and you seem to be quite proud of it. That appears to be partly connected to you being judgmental, because perhaps you don't accept any feedback from others. Or even think that those feedback are legitimate, because after all, you're apparently not personally affected by it in the same way. Or at least you say that you're not affected.

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    If you're being judgmental and you see that the person being judged is being uncomfortable, then you'd probably stop the judging. That's the "stopper" for being judgmental.
    Really? I would think that would just make you judge the person even more. =/ lol. I don't believe empathy would be enough to stop it. But there are good judgements and negative judgements.

    That appears to be partly connected to you being judgmental, because perhaps you don't accept any feedback from others. Or even think that those feedback are legitimate, because after all, you're apparently not personally affected by it in the same way. Or at least you say that you're not affected.


    I agree with this tho and I think that's a pretty accurate insight of Maritsa.


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    when your life becomes a socionics meme

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    yeah you are kind of idiotic maritsa, we know that.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    yeah you are kind of idiotic maritsa, we know that.
    so is your Se
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    so is your Se
    it´s not about functions...
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    it´s not about functions...
    it IS with you
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    it IS with you
    You´re being judgemental now
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    You´re being judgemental now
    of course. I have no issue with it. If you do there's the ignore function.
    You have a nasty tendency to play bad guy than nice an loving guy. You're like a cat that dangles cheese in front of a mouse as to eventually slash it.
    I get so tired of the ups and downs that you display. Very very tired.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    of course. I have no issue with it. If you do there's the ignore function.
    You have a nasty tendency to play bad guy than nice an loving guy. You're like a cat that dangles cheese in front of a mouse as to eventually slash it.
    I get so tired of the ups and downs that you display. Very very tired.
    Becuase you think you're perfect?

    You think you're loving when you put people down because they want to celebrate their love with an official marriage?

    When you type 80% of New male members as LSE?

    When you say blacks are Sees?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    Really? I would think that would just make you judge the person even more. =/ lol. I don't believe empathy would be enough to stop it. But there are good judgements and negative judgements.

    I agree with this tho and I think that's a pretty accurate insight of Maritsa.
    I think that people do need feedback from other people. If they don't, then they just become self-righteous and more judgmental. Perhaps judgmental people are quite isolated.

    Maybe that's why there's an expression "ivory tower".

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    I don't think there's a problem with being judgmental as long as you recognize when it's appropriate to express that judgment. And sometimes even when you don't.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ouronis View Post
    I don't think there's a problem with being judgmental as long as you recognize when it's appropriate to express that judgment. And sometimes even when you don't.
    I know when it’s appropriate and not. I have seen awkward moments when someone was not and just said whatever was on their mind (wait that was an LSE who complicated his relationship hahah). Yes maybe it allowed me to formulate a plan to aid smooth things over when my dual does it lol.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    Most humans with any experience at all are judgemental although many will swear up and down that they're not. I used to quip that the most judgemental people that I've ever met were p-types.......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    Most humans with any experience at all are judgemental although many will swear up and down that they're not. I used to quip that the most judgemental people that I've ever met were p-types.......

    a.k.a. I/O
    Hmm. I'm pretty judgemental depending on how it's perceived. I tend to get pretty clear ideas in my head about people from brief interactions, but I don't think I act unpleasant toward anyone based on them, or act/feel much differently in general. For instance, if I get the impression that someone is stupid or rude, I don't generally care. Maybe the difference between P and J types is how much emotion or mental energy the person invests into their judgement.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    Im so stinking judgmental. A couple comes in the store today and shows us pictures of their wedding and the man says “we’ve been together for so long we thought we’d get married “ and the new wife says “yeah it’s been over 20 years.” I’m looking at the wedding pictures trying to refrain myself from saying something awkward since these are great people but what I was thinking was “you decide to get married NOW????!!!! seriously??!??? What the eff if the point?!?” And while I’m thinking this and shaking my inner head she says “it really feels different to be married” and my inner thoughts are saying “this is idiotic. At least the cake looks awesome.”
    You can pat yourself on the back for being conscious of it, or regretful (if you are). But honestly, this is not that judgmental. It can be so much worse. ;-D

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    Hmm. I'm pretty judgemental depending on how it's perceived. I tend to get pretty clear ideas in my head about people from brief interactions, but I don't think I act unpleasant toward anyone based on them, or act/feel much differently in general. For instance, if I get the impression that someone is stupid or rude, I don't generally care. Maybe the difference between P and J types is how much emotion or mental energy the person invests into their judgement.
    Judgemental shouldn't be a type related term, and being judgemental in a negative sense is more a function of upbringing and experience. I've personally had to deal with too many XXTps who've expended enormous amounts of energy trying to bring down people they've unfairly judged as unworthy. However, I've also had to deal with most other types because they were guilty of prejudgement errors - it's a normal part of work supervision.

    a.k.a. I/O
    Last edited by Rebelondeck; 04-20-2019 at 12:31 PM.

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    one EII i care about i failed to entertain her due to my brain issue not coming up with things. it got really bad.i spoke to her intemittently after months and then after years. i always felt anxious and reluctant to make her feel unvalued and keep feeding some kind of cycle where shes wondering how much im bullshitting her. due to my issue i told her i had lied to her that im interested in her for her art, being a nice person and all, but that it was bc she was suicidal. she never trusted me again after that the same. i hadnt lied to her. i lost my memories and cogntiive process which resulted in me saying that bc i thought i must be honest as much as i can. later i overstepped her borders by trying to convince her repeatedly to not kill herself after she kept telling me she doesnt want to talk bout it, i ket pushing her borders bc i thought i would hate myself if i didnt do everything i could to convince her ( i dont believe in calling and ambulance to someone and other forceful methods as thats extremely disrespectful of someone's suffering if they are at that point and not listening). if i wasnt mentally ill it would have been clear to me i should have stopped talking about it that time too as soon a she told me to, but there again are those kind of ppl who would want me to pressure them despite telling me to stop. and now this turned into the female no could mean yes women dont know what they want meme (that i see as unfairly demeaning bc things are complex)

    i think she was more hurt than judgemental
    i dont think she hates me
    she told me how she found people annoying for no raeson
    and had bad thoughts about them
    that she hated herself for
    ESI tells me he hates himself for having good thoughts about the SLE
    wait wait
    i was watching mr robot
    and i said something about wanting the psychiatrist to commit suicide
    bc she threatened the main guy to leave him or stop using drugs
    which i thought is a nasty way to handle someone in trauma
    she said the psychiatrist was just trying to help and im so full of myself
    i talked down on other ppl/things before that
    thats waht pushed her over to block me
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  22. #22
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
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    I often find myself having very judgmental thoughts. Part of it is because I am very judgmental of myself. I notice ethical bases (EII, ESI, ESE, EIE) are some of the most judgmental individuals across the board. Base ethics is a double-edged sword.

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