years ago i considered myself so/sx, but people have said that i'm sx/so. i dunno really.Originally Posted by darya
i'm going with so/sx, with a tendency to flip.
years ago i considered myself so/sx, but people have said that i'm sx/so. i dunno really.
i'm going with so/sx, with a tendency to flip.
i think from what you say i can seem like i will steamroll people. some people have said that i make their heart beat noticable, and i seem to make some people nervous, so i do a kind of moderation thing. i find with some people it's better to be pretty indirect at first, as too much focus can make some people nervous. and uh, people generally seem to think i'm intense, even if i'm holding back.
that seems weird when i put it like that. but it's mostly with reserved type people. and i like to engage with people i've just met, and that can set warning bells off on some people as some people have a high degree of stranger anxiety. and uhh, it's said i'm fi polr :/
i want to get better at the whole walking in the shadows thing that some people are so good at.
but uhh i can find it hard to focus, i like to socialise one on one with many people, and take people out of their comfort zone.
@mercutio I think intro/extro version and some other things make a big difference in how the instincts manifest.
ocean moonshine had good descriptions per type but i lost it.
they are all on perc under the individual enneagram pages.
http://personalitycafe.com/type-1-forum-reformer/
I think they are a good guide but leave a lot of room for overlap
this site seems better than eidb.
those aren't the ocean descriptions.
Seen this said before. I get the comparison, agree that Sx/so are often more radical than So/sx and see your point but is MLK really so/sx? He seems So-first for sure but doesn't seem to have much so/sx energy. Seems a lot more grounded and contained than my idea of how So/Sx typically is, you know?
I think instinctual variants are one of the more important compatibility issues in relationships. I think sx first people should stick to each other.
Sx/so and so/sx may seem like they should go together perfectly, but in my experience there's always an annoying pull in opposite directions. Not such a good combination for a relationship - I prefer sx/so or sx/sp.
And sx last people should not mate with sx first.
pretty much agree. add:I think instinctual variants are one of the more important compatibility issues in relationships. I think sx first people should stick to each other.
Sx/so and so/sx may seem like they should go together perfectly, but in my experience there's always an annoying pull in opposite directions. Not such a good combination for a relationship - I prefer sx/so or sx/sp.
And sx last people should not mate with sx first
1) sx-lasts should only mate with sx-lasts
2) sx-seconds have sx in the right place but the difference between so and sp is *huge.* I think these two types can make each other claustrophobic. maybe they should just stick to the same stacking lol.
3) I actually thought sp/sx and sx/so can have a good relationship if the latter is more extroverted and naturally spends most of their time outside. maybe not 100% satisfying but possibly more sustaining? maybe I am wrong.
4) also I have seen some sx/sp and sp/sx relationships that seem okay. it seems more attractive than sx/sp and so/sx b/c there isn't the sense of "betrayal" that the so brings.
oh the passion...
lol I was in a serious relationship with an sp/so before. there were other issues, but I still have horrible memories.
I can imagine
Fuck, it's complicated to figure out if I am an obsessed sp/sx or a detached sx/sp.
you ain't Sx first
God has spoken. I really want to trust God.
Does an obsessed sp/sx seem ok for You?
It's rather what you have spoken in this thread : http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...6571-Isolation
Do you feel that you have an almost uncontrollable drive to experience intensity in almost everything you do, even if you don't follow through on the urge? Or do you consider your comfort , peace and safety before you act? I got nothing for So first. heh
For the record I can get the intensity I seek through music. I don't always need to go all Bonnie and Clyde.
Last edited by Aylen; 07-01-2014 at 10:18 PM.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
Good eye.
Has definitely been my experience.
That too. So-firsts often seem very distracted, jumping from one topic with one person to another in a flash before they can establish anything. Like they're sort of tending to a garden, distributing their water evenly among all the plants that need it before heading back inside without listening to their interesting stories.
IME the former seems more true of Sx/So, the latter Sx/Sp.
Not sure if I agree with sx-seconds having intimacy particularly 'easy to access,' at least not by my standards of access. I think of the second instinct as a tool oriented to facilitate the primary desires of the first instinct. It's been my experience that they'll flash some heightened level of engagement every now and then to demonstrate interest, but that quickly dissipates, leaving me wanting more. It makes sp/sxs very confusing to me, as if I'm constantly waiting for them to stop shutting themselves off and become normal people again.
Matched instinct stackings seems to be the biggest overall factor in not just romantic/sexual relationships, but in long-term friendships and work environments. Basically any context in which a person has to interact with another person. Best to keep to your own kind, if given the choice.I think instinctual variants are one of the more important compatibility issues in relationships. I think sx first people should stick to each other.
Sx/so and so/sx may seem like they should go together perfectly, but in my experience there's always an annoying pull in opposite directions. Not such a good combination for a relationship - I prefer sx/so or sx/sp.
And sx last people should not mate with sx first
#instinctsegregation #imnotracistbut
We should all tattoo our instinct stackings on our wrists so there's less irritation/dissapointments later on.
#sx/sotrampstamp
This would be foolproof if nobody was mistyped
everybody is mistyped
I get along well with sp/so, I´m usually very drawn to their chillness and openness. And they seem extremely steady and deliberate in almost everything they´re doing.
Sx/sp can feel almost symbiotic, but a bit egotistic and unpredictable (there´s lots of secrecy and tendency to self-protect and I´ve known people of this stack to react much later to something they perceived as an insult or form of betrayal that I had no idea about). With sx/so it can be heaven or a dead end, I have the impression they sometimes don´t understand what the other is about very well. I dislike so/sp most and I communicate well with sp/sx, but it can feel stiffening after a while due to introversion tendencies, closeness, or orientation towards issues concerning the self only (too solipsistic).
Last edited by Amber; 07-02-2014 at 02:24 PM.
I see sp/so as the flipside of all those attributes. Sure they're relaxed and steady, but for the same token they can seem rather disengaged and unreciprocative of the energy I put out. They are generally friendly and easy to get along with though, I'll give them that much.
I can see this too. Many of the sx/sps I've known do come off as too-cool-for-school, but when we do get to know one another that distance readily fades away. Kinda makes me wonder how disinterested I appear to other people, and how often that impression prevents me from actually connecting with people ... Maybe it's more calculated than I give it credit.
My dealings with sx/sos have been pretty limited, but they can habitually come off as "too much." I get the impression many Sx/Sos see me as highly disengaged, that I explicitly don't like them very much, which is often not the case.
Sp/Sxs provide a very deceptive level of synergy to me. Like what I said before, they can trick me into thinking they're more engaging than they really are. Then when they retreat back into their Sp coves I keep trying to coax them out again but to no avail.
So/Sp is like two ships passing in the night; I'll generally never want to interact with them, and vice versa. The So/Sxs I've known can actually be really cool. They generally have good stories to tell and know how to keep a conversation interesting (at least in small doses. I haven't interacted with So/Sxs for very long periods at a time).
Last edited by Galen; 07-02-2014 at 05:55 PM.
I might be seriously dead right now if I followed this philosophy and stuck to sx/sp, especially an E4.I think instinctual variants are one of the more important compatibility issues in relationships. I think sx first people should stick to each other.
Sx/so and so/sx may seem like they should go together perfectly, but in my experience there's always an annoying pull in opposite directions. Not such a good combination for a relationship - I prefer sx/so or sx/sp.
And sx last people should not mate with sx first
A nice balance for my type... hmm, SLE, E 6w5 sp/sx
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
How would you guys describe the so/sp and sp/so people you know? How do they act - be it as colleagues, friends, relationships or family members? Some examples of past situations would be interesting.
Examples of past situations? I actually met someone who fit and also identified as a 4w5 sp/so through a Socionics group. He lived in FL like me so we met up. I quickly noticed how much more practical he was than I (I'm sp-last). He's far more responsible, serious, more anxious and perfectionistic. Was a photographer, had plenty of trinkets in his apartment, loved reptiles, smoked weed, claimed to never really have many close friends whereas I feel as if I've had plenty, self-disclosed like a 4 but not as much as I did (or at least his self-disclosure wasn't unpredictable) and was concerned with whether the temperature in the car was okay for me which he adjusted for himself a lot. The most passionate I've seen him was when he drives. He drives really fast and changes lanes a lot. Quite the dauntless driver and hates slow drivers. He felt as if typology was occupying too much of his mind and claims he can feel it making him less healthy so he took a break from it.
He identifies as IEI but his stacking made him seem more EII or Delta to me at times (he has scored as EII before, too). I sort of felt like self-disclosing myself altered his opinion of me because he seemed sort of like a model citizen. Put more emphasis on his feelings towards things and people when we would be in a google hangout (even told someone he ended up getting along with that he didn't think they'd get along initially), had more trouble getting along with people than some of us there. That just seemed like Fe-devaluing and Fi base to me (the instantly knowing how you and another mesh and putting importance in it). Didn't seem like someone who'd value Se or assertiveness, seemed to dislike movies with too much violence. Gave more of an Ij impression to some of us there since he could seem a bit more rigid with morals or life in general whereas others would note my Ipness (go-with-the flow and relaxed nature). We all thought he was very nice although I did enjoy when he disclosed things about himself making him seem less kind or perfect.His SP may have made him seem more Si HA than Ti HA, too. If he was IEI, his stacking makes him seem less Beta-like. My Sp-lastness with his SP-firstness made him seem more consistent and earthly than myself. I believe I was older than him but he seemed more like an older brother.
Hope this helped any, lol.
My father is sp/so (LIE-Ni, the Bill Gates variety - I mean in terms of personality and looks a bit) and I have some sp/so friends. I've never been romantically involved with a sp/so, maybe accidentally..? I would say professional life, family, social position and networking are some of the main priorities for sp/so. They can seem a bit simple and too planned, it's like everything they do makes a lot of sense, they're not ruled by passions (which for some could be a bit bland, but I also have the impression they control a lot of what they are this way). They might lack a sense of identity that's deeply personal/subjective - if you coax them in discussions about the most meaningful experiences in their life, they tend to brush them off, because they don't really identify with much beyond the "societal" arena.
So/sp is way more political in a conservative/traditional way. They are striving to maintain the social structure and hierarchies and ofc that can imply marginalizing or othering of certain groups. So/sp is colonial America. I would say it's the stack with most awareness of social dynamics in a very dry and clear-cut way (class and gender constructions are the realm of so/sp, this stack takes them very seriously). Unlike sp/so, people of this stack are aggressively "empty". It's like they are trying to impose their ideal social order and identity on others as their real self.
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