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Thread: Adventures in Dating

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I'm not sure about her subtype, but Fe wouldn't surprises me! She tests ESFJ in MBTI so that may be indicative of ISFp-Fe. I really doubt she's ESFj in Socionics since irrationality feels pretty obvious in her behaviour
    I love both the subtypes I want both lol

    also if you don’t have strong subtypes then it probably doesn’t make much difference in ITR

    I think the SLE I’m talking to is SLE-ti. He seems so nice and normal.

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    Hello I'm back again haha. Happy New Year!
    I can't believe it's 2023. It's been 2 years since I joined this forum hahah
    I remember I made an account because I started appreciating a dual. And now I'm back again because I think I might have met a dual. Who knows.

    Anyway, yeah, so I'm seeing someone atm. Not sure if he's my dual or mirage, I don't really care actually, even if it's mirage it's fine too. Like I said before, I love LSIs, they're "my type" of guy.
    So yeah this is the first time I wasn't sure with someone's type. I don't know if it's because I like him so I couldn't see, I don't know.
    But yes, he's either LSI-Se or ESI-Se. I can see his aux-Se and tert-Ni, that's how we connect I think, and he's definitely Se-subtype.

    So at the beginning I thought he was an LSI.
    My first impression of him: he's kinda smart.
    Ok look, I don't know how, but I kinda like to "test" people when I start getting to know someone, I just like to see how they respond to my texts, to my questions, my statements, things like that.
    And turns out he can keep up!
    I would say I have a really high standard of things (and people) and it's not easy to impress me really, but, ah I can't believe I say this, but he made me laugh! So cliche.
    But yeah, now I understand why people keep saying that sense of humour is important. I've never thought so because I don't like funny or silly people. But then I met this guy, he's not funny or silly but he's a little bit witty I guess, and I didn't realise I actually enjoyed our conversation. So weird.

    So we met online. I guess if not online, we would never meet at all. He's completely from different world, he's very into sports, gym, all those Se-activities.
    So from our little chat I can see that he is a passionate person, but not as passionate as I am, I think. He even said so.
    Anyway when we finally met for the first time, I found out he's actually very kind!
    Because I was expecting he's an LSI, you know with dom-Ti, most LSIs I know are a bit cold, but nope, he's kind.
    But I still think he's an LSI, he could be a kind LSI haha.
    He's also calm, so definitely not a SLE or SEE.

    But then I realised something.
    Usually, when I meet dom-Ti for the first time, I find them so interesting, that's why I'm attracted to LSIs. I keep saying even on my previous posts, I love LSIs. But I don't like ESIs.
    So when I met this guy for the first time, I just felt comfortable. It's funny I'm not attracted to him, because I thought I would be if he's really an LSI.
    Anyway.
    So yes, it's comfort. Well, he is good looking and I thought "ok he's not bad looking" but that's it, it wasn't attraction or anything, but I just felt comfortable.
    You know how comfortable? Look, when you meet someone online and finally decided to meet up for a first date, it's usually only for 1 or 2 hours. But we stayed for 7 hours I can't believe it. It's like meeting an old friend.

    Ok let me tell you some traits about him:
    - He didn't really know what he wanted to do when he was a kid but he's good in math and physics (I can see that he's smart as well) but he said he doesn't really like to study back in school or uni, anyway he did engineering at uni.
    - He loves animals! So I said "oh why didn't you want to be a vet instead?" And he said "I don't wanna see them get hurt, I don't wanna meet sick animals" I was like ??? Anyway. He said he would rather be a zoo keeper but the salary is not good. I was like, Ok, you got a point.
    - He said he used to play video games when he got free time, but now he wants to do more productive things. I was like, Alright.
    - Seems like he pays attention to his apartment, a lot. "Oh my apartment is a mess" "How was your day? I was just doing laundry today" "I have today off, I will just do some cleaning" something like that. I don't really like talking about this things, I like talking more about ideas but anyway..
    - He's very observant. It's like he's trying to read me and connect patterns, I don't know if it's his aux-Se and tert-Ni, but I find it cute. One day he said "you're giving me mixed signals" and I was like, Oh yeah keep up with me.
    I don't know if it's agressor-victim style, but I kinda like the chase and I like that he doesn't give up on me haha. We always joke around and flirt to each other.
    - He's surprisingly confident. One day I said I should get present from Santa this Christmas, and he said "maybe Santa gave you me" haha
    - Seems like he has strong opinions when he believes in something, not sure if this is dom-Ti or dom-Fi. For example, he's so mad when government fire people just because they don't take covid vaccines, vaccine should be a choice he said. We have bikes and scooters in our city, but he doesn't like that government charge penalty a lot if we don't wear the helmets, he said we're adults, kids should be wearing helmets of all times but not adults. Haha. Um, what else, he doesn't believe in god, but now that he's older (he's in his mid 30s) he said he should believe in something greater than us.

    Haha

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    I had my first date with a dual who I’ve been talking to for a while. He was nice. It’s funny how much I can idealise someone before actually meeting them, I’d say it was a more realistic and normal version of what I had imagined, but it’s real and that’s better. I hope he wants to meet again, I hope there was a connection despite any of my weird quirks lol. He’s been so nice it’s hard not to idealise it lol. It was a good date. Anyways, let’s see what is next on the agenda.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    I had my first date with a dual who I’ve been talking to for a while. He was nice. It’s funny how much I can idealise someone before actually meeting them, I’d say it was a more realistic and normal version of what I had imagined, but it’s real and that’s better. I hope he wants to meet again, I hope there was a connection despite any of my weird quirks lol. He’s been so nice it’s hard not to idealise it lol. It was a good date. Anyways, let’s see what is next on the agenda.
    Yay wishing you all the best Bethany!

    In my experience, it's actually the opposite.
    I don't idealise that person before meeting him. And every time we meet, it's always him who hopes and wants to meet me again.
    But I think, deep down, I have insecurity if I actually really like him or not, I don't know if it relates to inferior Fi or not. Anyway.

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    @Scarlett thanks, I'm gonna try not to talk about on here too much at first, he seems so nice though. Weird- something about him reminds me of one of my very first crushes, who I think was an ESI-fi. Does your person remind you of an IEI-ni? lol. From your description I can't tell if they are LSI or ESI, ESI have a softer demeanour?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlett View Post
    Hello I'm back again haha. Happy New Year!
    I can't believe it's 2023. It's been 2 years since I joined this forum hahah
    I remember I made an account because I started appreciating a dual. And now I'm back again because I think I might have met a dual. Who knows.

    Anyway, yeah, so I'm seeing someone atm. Not sure if he's my dual or mirage, I don't really care actually, even if it's mirage it's fine too. Like I said before, I love LSIs, they're "my type" of guy.
    So yeah this is the first time I wasn't sure with someone's type. I don't know if it's because I like him so I couldn't see, I don't know.
    But yes, he's either LSI-Se or ESI-Se. I can see his aux-Se and tert-Ni, that's how we connect I think, and he's definitely Se-subtype.

    So at the beginning I thought he was an LSI.
    My first impression of him: he's kinda smart.
    Ok look, I don't know how, but I kinda like to "test" people when I start getting to know someone, I just like to see how they respond to my texts, to my questions, my statements, things like that.
    And turns out he can keep up!
    I would say I have a really high standard of things (and people) and it's not easy to impress me really, but, ah I can't believe I say this, but he made me laugh! So cliche.
    But yeah, now I understand why people keep saying that sense of humour is important. I've never thought so because I don't like funny or silly people. But then I met this guy, he's not funny or silly but he's a little bit witty I guess, and I didn't realise I actually enjoyed our conversation. So weird.

    So we met online. I guess if not online, we would never meet at all. He's completely from different world, he's very into sports, gym, all those Se-activities.
    So from our little chat I can see that he is a passionate person, but not as passionate as I am, I think. He even said so.
    Anyway when we finally met for the first time, I found out he's actually very kind!
    Because I was expecting he's an LSI, you know with dom-Ti, most LSIs I know are a bit cold, but nope, he's kind.
    But I still think he's an LSI, he could be a kind LSI haha.
    He's also calm, so definitely not a SLE or SEE.

    But then I realised something.
    Usually, when I meet dom-Ti for the first time, I find them so interesting, that's why I'm attracted to LSIs. I keep saying even on my previous posts, I love LSIs. But I don't like ESIs.
    So when I met this guy for the first time, I just felt comfortable. It's funny I'm not attracted to him, because I thought I would be if he's really an LSI.
    Anyway.
    So yes, it's comfort. Well, he is good looking and I thought "ok he's not bad looking" but that's it, it wasn't attraction or anything, but I just felt comfortable.
    You know how comfortable? Look, when you meet someone online and finally decided to meet up for a first date, it's usually only for 1 or 2 hours. But we stayed for 7 hours I can't believe it. It's like meeting an old friend.

    Ok let me tell you some traits about him:
    - He didn't really know what he wanted to do when he was a kid but he's good in math and physics (I can see that he's smart as well) but he said he doesn't really like to study back in school or uni, anyway he did engineering at uni.
    - He loves animals! So I said "oh why didn't you want to be a vet instead?" And he said "I don't wanna see them get hurt, I don't wanna meet sick animals" I was like ??? Anyway. He said he would rather be a zoo keeper but the salary is not good. I was like, Ok, you got a point.
    - He said he used to play video games when he got free time, but now he wants to do more productive things. I was like, Alright.
    - Seems like he pays attention to his apartment, a lot. "Oh my apartment is a mess" "How was your day? I was just doing laundry today" "I have today off, I will just do some cleaning" something like that. I don't really like talking about this things, I like talking more about ideas but anyway..
    - He's very observant. It's like he's trying to read me and connect patterns, I don't know if it's his aux-Se and tert-Ni, but I find it cute. One day he said "you're giving me mixed signals" and I was like, Oh yeah keep up with me.
    I don't know if it's agressor-victim style, but I kinda like the chase and I like that he doesn't give up on me haha. We always joke around and flirt to each other.
    - He's surprisingly confident. One day I said I should get present from Santa this Christmas, and he said "maybe Santa gave you me" haha
    - Seems like he has strong opinions when he believes in something, not sure if this is dom-Ti or dom-Fi. For example, he's so mad when government fire people just because they don't take covid vaccines, vaccine should be a choice he said. We have bikes and scooters in our city, but he doesn't like that government charge penalty a lot if we don't wear the helmets, he said we're adults, kids should be wearing helmets of all times but not adults. Haha. Um, what else, he doesn't believe in god, but now that he's older (he's in his mid 30s) he said he should believe in something greater than us.

    Haha
    Be careful, he could be SLI, another possibility ~

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarke View Post
    I think people can accept sluts/manwhores if sexual promiscuity doesn't detract from the characteristics they look for in a partner. I think that non-sluts/manwhores can have this characteristic and still be capable, good-hearted people. However, I'm not sure that they can have this characteristic and also have certain life philosophies.

    I've noticed that some types of people judge partners as a general "type" based on many unrelated characteristics, while others view the characteristics as separate parts of a personality that have their own value or meaning. I don't have any good examples of this at the moment. This might be related to the Static/Dynamic Dichotomy, but I haven't compared others' types and their Dichotomies to check whether this is true.

    This post was edited on 1/29/23, at 5:23 am GMT.
    These are my personal thoughts and you can feel free to think however you want, but at the end of the day this is how I feel.

    Someone's sexual history shouldn't be the deciding factor of their value to *you* or in general. Sex shouldn't be shamed, it's a natural human instinct and normal. It doesn't determine someone's worth, their value as a person, or if they should be accepted. The only reason promiscuity would be deemed “bad” in my eyes if it's due to mental health issues like sexual abuse, harms their well being, and/or they neglect to care for their body and not respect other's bodies too. Sex isn't the problem but the reasons why people chase after it — sometimes it's more than just the craving.

    Any “good” partner will accept their significant other — flaws and all — and love them unconditionally. Seek to understand them and listen to their experiences, value their feelings and emotions. Not treat them like an object meant to be fixed, but a human person who has unique individual experiences. If they don't then they're in the relationship for other reasons and those are the wrong ones. If you can't learn to respect them as a person first can you really respect their body too? And not, are you really a “good” partner?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sahira View Post
    Not treat them like an object meant to be fixed, but a human person who has unique individual experiences. If they don't then they're in the relationship for other reasons and those are the wrong ones.
    I was just this morning thinking about how male colleagues always do this to me..they can’t seem to risk feeling emasculated by ACTUALLY empathising and risking the realisation that they need to work on their emotional intelligence…they don’t want to feel guilt or inferiority because then they’ll stop feeling like they have the right to being self-superior, and have to actually negotiate what it means to treat someone as an equal.. rather than acting like an entitled baby or ‘special boy’ who never has to grow up.

    it can be so uncomfortable when this type of distance is created- seeing you like a ‘thing’ or ‘issue’, something beneath them, something not quite real, something they easily attack if needed

    On a more positive note I’ve observed my younger brother do the opposite recently. He seems to be getting more curious about people’s emotional reactions to things.
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 01-29-2023 at 12:32 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    I was just this morning thinking about how male colleagues always do this to me..they can’t seem to risk feeling emasculated by ACTUALLY empathising and risking the realisation that they need to work on their emotional intelligence…they don’t want to feel guilt or inferiority because then they’ll stop feeling like they have the right to being self-superior, and have to actually negotiate what it means to treat someone as an equal.. rather than acting like an entitled baby or ‘special boy’ who never has to grow up.

    it can be so uncomfortable when this type of distance is created- seeing you like a ‘thing’ or ‘issue’, something beneath them, something not quite real, something they easily attack if needed

    On a more positive note I’ve observed my younger brother do the opposite recently. He seems to be getting more curious about people’s emotional reactions to things.
    You're so right ugh that's exactly it. They don't want to feel inferior, they want complete control so they can "feel like a man." And like you said, that's so childish of them. They haven't grown or matured enough mentally and emotionally to form actual bonds with others. Not hot

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarke View Post
    This hurts my 3E.

    I'm probably taking this out of context a little.
    welcome to my brain..

    btw I wasn’t following what you were saying closely so it wasn’t related to your comments

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarke View Post
    Yup. I guess I was joking. Somehow, people seem to have different understandings about what's good in the world, or how people should act. There's this side of humanity that prioritizes compassion and kindness, and then there's the side that prioritizes toughness and cold intelligence. I guess I naturally belong to the second side.

    It's probably a Fe/Te thing, although I guess it could also be a E thing in AP or maybe something related to Enneagram. I'm low emotion in at least 2 personality systems (Enneagram and AP). I show EII characteristics in Socionics (the TIM is referring to MBTI, which I fit ISTJ in according to some descriptions).
    i have one person in particular in mind when I wrote that and the annoying thing is he really likes to push an agenda that he is a nice and reasonable type of guy (oh I have seen too much and he is not lol). But he’s also just a person, I’m not sure that his wife works so there may be pressure to make money and do well. Which may explain why he doesn’t seem to care about people he works with as individuals, he seems to be able to switch from caring to ruthless from one min to the next. That won’t work on me lol. If you want something from me, you have to be respectful (I say now after falling for his bullshit before lol)

    Have you seen this article?

    http://www.socionics.com/articles/behavetemp.html

    I think my compassionate side is related to me having a significant subtype (which probably developed due to unideal upbringing, not a bad one but a bit lacking in a some aspects). I was always shy and well later that turned into a lot of other problems. But even if everything had been fine I think I would always have ended up identifying with vulnerable people. Probably because that subtype makes me feel vulnerable- I find most things hard lol. Even if I’d have succeeded it would have been at some cost most likely, more than for others.

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    @Clarke

    I mean you could just be an IJ with a ‘realist’ type of view of the world..LSI have a vulnerable side and I could see them developing a ‘moderate’ world view, due to feeling a sort of pessimism. ‘That’s just the way the world is..’. Liberal LSIs I know probably feel bad when they fail to live by their values..other more radical LSIs might feel bad that they can’t do more to help. IJs are quite cold seeming in a general way. I’m def not an expert however. As for ILIs I know an annoying ambitious politically moderate male ILI..and a highly educated compassionate lefty female one..the description I least relate to was the EJ one- I was almost offended by the description lol.

    I always just knew my type, whether that’s a good or bad thing. I’m not young so that could be partly why, my personality has settled.

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    @Clarke I could see EII..was just reading this thread on EII the other day, https://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...athic-and-nice of course EII come in all shapes and sizes too, they can be pretty involved in politics..but I don’t know I see their compassionate side as being something ‘learned’ rather than ‘innate’ but I’m not sure lol maybe like they are continually reassessing..but maybe I just haven’t met a super lefty EII

    edit: maybe ‘forced’ is a better work than ‘learned’
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 02-03-2023 at 07:37 AM.

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    OMG
    Everyone. I don't know if anyone follow my stories here. Just a little update.
    So we've been together for nearly 3 months now. And we're getting closer and closer, now I realised our communication style is very different, he's blunt and sometimes that came off as aggressive and rude. How could it be possible for an ESI acts like that? Unless he's not ESI.

    I think I posted here before, I thought he was an ESI because he has quite high Fi. He's very moral, like black and white, right and wrong, very subjective. And he always goes to the gym, he's into sports. So much Fi-Se, that's why I thought he's an ESI.
    @Renna how do you think he could be SLI? Because we had a BIG fight last night, it's basically about our communication style and when I confront him he just didn't accept it. He kept saying I'm playing mind games that I actually don't want to see him anymore and asked me to be honest, and I said I was being honest by letting him know about our differences. Anyway I was very sad, we decided to break up and the break up feels like my break up with an SLI long time ago, very hurting!

    By the way I tried to look up the relationship between ENTJ (LIE) and ISTJ (SLI) and I found this:

    Picture1.png

    And what I experienced was EXACTLY like that!
    It all seemed dreamy at first, we both get along really well, he's a smart, strong and silent type that would be able to balance my inner emotions, and within a few weeks of meeting he actually said he thought I might be the right girl. And I know he's searching for the right person, wanting to get married and start family of his own, as he's in his mid 30s.
    We both pursue each other heavily, not just him. We text and talk and share stories literally every day, all day and night, he's my best friend.
    But in my case, I'm the one who gets distant. I don't know why I just pulled away, and that's when I realised we are so different, and he kept questioning me, accusing me of doing mind games, he was like "Just be honest and say you don't want to see me anymore". So I told him I was being honest about our differences, but he said he cannot accept it.

    This is the second time I dated my supervisor, SLI. The break up hurts the exact same way.
    And I realised he's an SLI at the time when I get distant, like it's all coming together. I guess the sports and gym stuff I thought Se was actually Si, he's working in aviation industry that I thought very Se was actually Si. I actually just found out he's been working at the same job and position for 11 years by the way. And the most important thing, I can't believe he says I'm playing mind games, is that inferior-Ne thing? Oh boy.
    Last edited by Scarlett; 02-03-2023 at 01:22 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarlett View Post
    OMG
    Everyone. I don't know if anyone follow my stories here. Just a little update.
    So we've been together for nearly 3 months now. And we're getting closer and closer, now I realised our communication style is very different, he's blunt and sometimes that came off as aggressive and rude. How could it be possible for an ESI acts like that? Unless he's not ESI.

    I think I posted here before, I thought he was an ESI because he has quite high Fi. He's very moral, like black and white, right and wrong, very subjective. And he always goes to the gym, he's into sports. So much Fi-Se, that's why I thought he's an ESI.
    @Renna how do you think he could be SLI? Because we had a BIG fight last night, it's basically about our communication style and when I confront him he just didn't accept it. He kept saying I'm playing mind games that I actually don't want to see him anymore and asked me to be honest, and I said I was being honest by letting him know about our differences. Anyway I was very sad, we decided to break up and the break up feels like my break up with an SLI long time ago, very hurting!

    By the way I tried to look up the relationship between ENTJ (LIE) and ISTJ (SLI) and I found this:

    Picture1.png

    And what I experienced was EXACTLY like that!
    It all seemed dreamy at first, we both get along really well, he's a smart, strong and silent type that would be able to balance my inner emotions, and within a few weeks of meeting he actually said he thought I might be the right girl. And I know he's searching for the right person, wanting to get married and start family of his own, as he's in his mid 30s.
    We both pursue each other heavily, not just him. We text and talk and share stories literally every day, all day and night, he's my best friend.
    But in my case, I'm the one who gets distant. I don't know why I just pulled away, and that's when I realised we are so different, and he kept questioning me, accusing me of doing mind games, he was like "Just be honest and say you don't want to see me anymore". So I told him I was being honest about our differences, but he said he cannot accept it.

    This is the second time I dated my supervisor, SLI. The break up hurts the exact same way.
    And I realised he's not an SLI at the time when I get distant, like it's all coming together. I guess the sports and gym stuff I thought Se was actually Si, he's working in aviation industry that I thought very Se was actually Si. I actually just found out he's been working at the same job and position for 11 years by the way. And the most important thing, I can't believe he says I'm playing mind games, is that inferior-Ne thing? Oh boy.
    I’m still not sure if the guy is SLI. LSI still has a change. Thing about moral, black and white could also be a sign of strong Ti, like Rorschach from the movie Watchmen

    It’s was just a random guess of mine, because I saw some hidden signs like he said you was playing mind game, or when he said he was doing laundry bla bla. I would say that LIE and EIE usually has a talking style feel like they’re hiding something, they’re up to something, or they are manipulating something, and I guess that would annoy SLI Fe polr and 1D Ne.

    As a fellow Fe polr (ILI) I myself also don’t like Fe social talking game, or mind game depend of how you call it. I rather blunt and straight forward the way I speak. You get the idea of miscommunication here.
    Last edited by Renna; 02-03-2023 at 01:56 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarke View Post
    Yup. I guess I was joking. Somehow, people seem to have different understandings about what's good in the world, or how people should act. There's this side of humanity that prioritizes compassion and kindness, and then there's the side that prioritizes toughness and cold intelligence. I guess I naturally belong to the second side.

    It's probably a Fe/Te thing, although I guess it could also be a E thing in AP or maybe something related to Enneagram. I'm low emotion in at least 2 personality systems (Enneagram and AP). I show EII characteristics in Socionics (the TIM is referring to MBTI, which I fit ISTJ in according to some descriptions).
    I actually apologize I didn't realize how I really came off. In fact, my words were more so directed towards End. I should've tagged or mentioned him instead idk why I didn't. My bad. Now I look like a complete dick

    And no, you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone so never feel guilty for it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarke View Post
    No problem. I guessed later that it was just a wording precision issue (you basically had a concept in mind but you didn't define it on a technically accurate kind of level).
    Yeahhhhh -- I was going for something else and didn't realize that's what it sounded like. Not my intent at all. I tend to feel things a certain way and forget some people may take it another way. Yeah, I'll be more accurate with what I say in the future.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renna View Post
    I’m still not sure if the guy is SLI. LSI still has a change. Thing about moral, black and white could also be a sign of strong Ti, like Rorschach from the movie Watchmen

    It’s was just a random guess of mine, because I saw some hidden signs like he said you was playing mind game, or when he said he was doing laundry bla bla. I would say that LIE and EIE usually has a talking style feel like they’re hiding something, they’re up to something, or they are manipulating something, and I guess that would annoy SLI Fe polr and 1D Ne.

    As a fellow Fe polr (ILI) I myself also don’t like Fe social talking game, or mind game depend of how you call it. I rather blunt and straight forward the way I speak. You get the idea of miscommunication here.

    Thanks.
    Yeah I ended everything last weekend. He became really cold and kept arguing with me. I guess that’s Fe polr.
    I have an LSI close friend, inferior Fe is not like this, after an argument they kinda want to make sure you feel ok

    Anyway, just an update. We’re done.
    Now I see why we get along well quickly, we discussed about everything everyday, from hobbies til work, we’re like mind mates.
    I don’t think I would feel the same if he was an ESI.
    Last edited by Scarlett; 02-09-2023 at 01:43 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarke View Post
    This characteristic is basically the reason why I can't properly understand Socionics. I don't have an internal reference (I can't type properly myself or others that I know)
    Read Filatova's book. It mb best in English about Socionics. Jung's book is useful too.
    In theory you should limit trusts parts as: 4 dichotomies, 8 kinds of functions, strenght, value, IR.
    Then gather facts and evaluate what type is _more possible_ for a human, for people. You may analyse common behavior, intuitive impressions about types traits, to use tests.
    By thinking about type variants and facts, after a time of monthes you'll notice that some types variants fit to theory clearly better than any other. And your impressions from people fit to IR. It's not hard in essence, but needs efforts of watching people and some thinking.
    It will be a moment of Socionics understanding. That this "astrology" works somehow.

    To decide what is the type is logical theme. The problem to decide this with assurance may point on F type. In case you can't for long time accept some own traits or a type, and such of close people with assurance.
    In English exists a problem of quality texts for studing. But the info exists. It's mixed with terribly translated parts. And with doubtful parts, some of which are not from Jung or Augustinavichiute and should not be used at all. Forget about Reinin traits and subtypes. More rely on more basic definitions by Jung. Interpretations may contain mistakes and do - in Jung and Augustinavichiute's texts. To be conservative would be useful.

    In case you'll place a video in your typing theme, mb I'd helped with your type.
    10 min tale about yourself, good seen face, no glasses. The link in 1st message of typing theme.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lavender latte View Post
    Someone's sexual history shouldn't be the deciding factor of their value to *you* or in general.
    The more sexual partners were - the more chance that next pair will not be stable too, will not get enough efforts to be good, a human will be cheating.

    > Sex shouldn't be shamed, it's a natural human instinct and normal.

    Sex is to born children. And it's natural only when leads to borning children.
    This supposes, at least, strong sexual attraction with a wish to born children. And preferably good friendship/love state, as you'll need to cooperate a lot and good with other human for mutual tasks, including care about children.

    Sex in deep love, in a family pair - decent history.

    In other case - it's stupid relation to own life and life of other people. Children without parrents, diseases, emotionally bad pairs, pairs breaks, spending resources on people with who relations are doubtful to be good, egocentrism with not wishing to do efforts you and your pair felt good together.
    Stupidness and lack of morality linked with irresponsibility is what appropriate to perceive as shame.

    And as we talk from the side of _nature_, what you've started.
    Sexual deviations, which are crazy popularized by propaganda from today USA. It's not natural and hence not what normal people should like, support or have a pleasant to see. It's sad disorders of brain or only behavior, and as other disorders to push them in medias and other public places is against interests of normal people.
    When it's a case of "just behavior" - should be named as a shame. When it's biology which completely attaches to unnatural - deserves regrets and medicine researches to fix, as the abbility of such people to make children in good family conditions is reduced or absents (as in case of homosexuality).
    Such history also deserves an attention, in case you want emotionally good family with a human.

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    wtf my texts are glitching

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    The more sexual partners were - the more chance that next pair will not be stable too, will not get enough efforts to be good, a human will be cheating.

    > Sex shouldn't be shamed, it's a natural human instinct and normal.

    Sex is to born children. And it's natural only when leads to borning children.
    This supposes, at least, strong sexual attraction with a wish to born children. And preferably good friendship/love state, as you'll need to cooperate a lot and good with other human for mutual tasks, including care about children.

    Sex in deep love, in a family pair - decent history.

    In other case - it's stupid relation to own life and life of other people. Children without parrents, diseases, emotionally bad pairs, pairs breaks, spending resources on people with who relations are doubtful to be good, egocentrism with not wishing to do efforts you and your pair felt good together.
    Stupidness and lack of morality linked with irresponsibility is what appropriate to perceive as shame.

    And as we talk from the side of _nature_, what you've started.
    Sexual deviations, which are crazy popularized by propaganda from today USA. It's not natural and hence not what normal people should like, support or have a pleasant to see. It's sad disorders of brain or only behavior, and as other disorders to push them in medias and other public places is against interests of normal people.
    When it's a case of "just behavior" - should be named as a shame. When it's biology which completely attaches to unnatural - deserves regrets and medicine researches to fix, as the abbility of such people to make children in good family conditions is reduced or absents (as in case of homosexuality).
    Such history also deserves an attention, in case you want emotionally good family with a human.
    I should've just said something along the lines of

    It's none of your business what a person does with their body as long as it doesn't hurt you, themselves or anyone else... Their value or worth as a person isn't determined from that, regardless of what you might think, because **no one** is the decider/judger of that. You're not God almighty perfect. You might think they're nasty or provocative, sure, but at the end of the day you're also a human and nothing more or less.

    Basically if you try to play god I'll just point my finger back at ya and bend it back or whatever Paramore said. Again this isn't targeted at anyone. I agree with what you say I just feel like judging their worth or value is stupid and inhumane and quite contradictory
    Last edited by pixie dreams; 02-24-2023 at 01:40 AM. Reason: Misspelling

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    Quote Originally Posted by orange juice View Post
    It's none of your business what a person does with their body as long as it doesn't hurt you, themselves or anyone else...
    While the said by me explains that sexual behavior (incl. pathologies) and misleading body's deformation has significant influence on good/bad for other people and for that human too.

    Promiscuity and homosexual propaganda is mainly based on egocentric ideology and is supported mainly by liberals (individualists). Hence low caring about interests of other people. And partly irresponsibility to yourself too, including as you depend from good state of other people and have a compassion to them.

    Sex is appriopriate only when you love (so want a marriage) and want children. In other case - it mainly leads to more problems than positive, a part of which were discussed.
    Promiscuity - sex without love, often without even strong sexual attraction. Human reduces a possibility to be in emotionally good pair, lesser cares about other one in his pair, reduces possibility to rise children in good conditions, arises a chance of diseases. Besides your problems, other people depend on how good you feel and what you do.

    Homosexuality, as any pathology or disease (exists hypothetical chance on fixing), inspires an aversion in normal people. It's evident pathology as such people has strong obstacle to born and rise children in emotionally good pair. They have lesser interest to born children so leads to extinction.
    Misleading about own sex - is harmful lie. Those ones can't born children, while an attraction of normal human has such wish. They only partly have what should (incl. unconsciously should be noticed more - so the attraction should be lower even with "complete" changing). The mix of traits of both sexes, - also looks disgusting, is perceived as a pathology and which is.

    The ones who pushes from USA since 1960s mass propoganda of drugs/sex, lower instincts expression, homosexuality, egocentrism - want to do the harm for most people as thinks them as competing. To make most people weaker, incl by making them lesser caring about each other, by making more harmful between them.
    As an addition to sex-liberal (sex-egocentric) harm which exists now, an example of lesser evident future moment. The aim of that "trans" hysteria can be to destroy sex in people - no men, no women for mb most of humanity. What % of people wants this? While this process is going. Now it's done by psychology methods and by your will (though, with children's "just wish" - when they have doubtful criticism, so this can be said done by force with them already; besides psychological methods used by force and social terrorism). In next times "your wish" will be asked lesser and lesser. For them (satanists/liberals) is ideally when you'll get early child or preborn toxins/genes mods/surgery which will destroy or pervert your sex related traits from the start. So you could not born children, ideally had no sexual interests (to be better controlled slave). The society is in adopting to this now.
    When you will be phreaked alike that - will not "hurt" you?

    It's good that you've started with "as it doesn't hurt you, themselves or anyone else".
    Now you need 2nd step, - to understand the harm what do promiscuity, homosexuality and misleading about sex, including by mutilating bodies to look closer to opposite sex.

  24. #1024
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    Yes whatever you do please raise kids in a loving environment
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Whatever you do, don't hit the children on the head It might have bad consequences

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leo View Post
    Whatever you do, don't hit the children on the head It might have bad consequences
    Don’t hit kids
    Period
    Be patient with them
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Baby hit em one more time

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    Hi again people of the internet.
    Since I've been updating my dating adventure here anyway for the past four weeks, well, here we go. Just a little update. I'm currently seeing someone. Right after I broke up three weeks ago.

    And He Is Not My Type. AT ALL.

    I would say myself as a masculine girl (masculine by personality I mean), and he is such a feminine guy for me.
    I don't know why I'm still seeing him, but we get along fine, maybe that's why.

    He's soft, very soft - he's very "feeling" compared to me. And he's very calm.
    He's very sensory, he likes to cook, he likes animals, plants, home things, basically things that I don't really care about.
    So yeah, he's definitely an F, that's why to me he's too feminine. So I was torn between SEI and ESI for him, you know, SEI loves taking care of those things as well.

    But his face doesn't show his emotion. His face is not expressive at all, they way he stares kinda like he's going to kill someone. No Fe vibe from him.
    SEI's normally worry about things or people around them, he doesn't. He just does things he wants, and he really really "wanty".
    Another thing I notice, he likes to forget things, I know ESIs are pretty forgetful people, but SEI should have good memories due to dom-Si.
    And for a soft person like him I'm actually surprised he likes being productive, and he kept saying he admires me for being hard-working (I always am), I guess this means gamma quadra?

    So yeah if he really is an ESI, that means he's my dual, well, let's see how it goes. I just wanted to say he is so boring.

  29. #1029
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    I don't typically talk about my relationship problems openly anymore because I think that's personal and nobody's business, but with this one I feel I'd benefit from hearing others' thoughts and input, so I'll put this issue out there.

    I've been with my boyfriend for more than a year. We got together September 15, 2021. However, we've known each other for 5 years, and he was in love with me from the beginning. We've never met in person, it's a long distance relationship. We've been trying to work on changing that, but there are obstacles to overcome. He's got his uni and army and shit, I've got my financial issues. We're supposed to meet in a year, after his mandatory army service is over. He's supposed to come to USA with me for a few years as soon as he can once he's out, so maybe in a year and a half. For now, he lives with his parents while doing the army.

    The issue is that he hasn't told a single person in his RL about me, even after all of this time. I've also never met a single one of his friends despite the fact that he VCs with them. He doesn't VC with me unless he's out for a walk away from home. Yet, he can VC with his friends. He doesn't really share much about his RL with me, hardly anything at all, whatsoever.

    I've confronted the issue, but he's given me some reasons and such that it's this way, rather than changing it or working on it at all. He's someone who has rigid boundaries about his personal self in general, so this seems to partly be a problem in himself he's worked on in other ways besides this particular thing. He's said he wants people to take the relationship seriously, and he's concerned that if he shares it, they won't, since it's currently a long distance relationship. He's got a neurotic mother who has issues and would probably act crazy about it if he shared with her, as well. He depends on his parents and doesn't want it to cause conflicts between himself and them. He also claims he's not actually close with the ftiends he has in RL, and doesn't get personal enough with them to feel comfortable with sharing the fact that he has a girlfriend with them. (Meanwhile, he also says they suggest this or that person as a girlfriend for him.)

    I know this is a huge red flag, but overall, we seem to have a strong relationship and we help each other grow as individuals. I've been handling it by being patient, understanding, and enduring, especially toward the reasons with his parents. My therapist is of the opinion that I should assert myself more about this situation. She thinks it shows a lack of commitment and value toward me. He has an easy back door by not sharing his relationship status with anyone, and he also should be commited/valuing me enough to make a stand against his parents and just deal with it. Her perspective is that there shouldn't be much risk in simply telling them that there's a woman he loves and intends to spend his life with in the USA once he's out of the army. She also thinks I need to assert my own value more, in the sense that I deserve to be more than just some online fantasy.

    It's eating at me, because I don't really understand why he's being so secretive about me. He's given reasons, but it still seems weird and like a major red flag to me. I feel deeply concerned and I don't know what it all means, or why he's truly doing this. He's at least told me about it, but that doesn't count for much in my eyes. I still find it highly suspicious and strange, and I fear these might only all be excuses.

    I don't know what to do.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Maverick View Post
    I don't typically talk about my relationship problems openly anymore because I think that's personal and nobody's business, but with this one I feel I'd benefit from hearing others' thoughts and input, so I'll put this issue out there.

    I've been with my boyfriend for more than a year. We got together September 15, 2021. However, we've known each other for 5 years, and he was in love with me from the beginning. We've never met in person, it's a long distance relationship. We've been trying to work on changing that, but there are obstacles to overcome. He's got his uni and army and shit, I've got my financial issues. We're supposed to meet in a year, after his mandatory army service is over. He's supposed to come to USA with me for a few years as soon as he can once he's out, so maybe in a year and a half. For now, he lives with his parents while doing the army.

    The issue is that he hasn't told a single person in his RL about me, even after all of this time. I've also never met a single one of his friends despite the fact that he VCs with them. He doesn't VC with me unless he's out for a walk away from home. Yet, he can VC with his friends. He doesn't really share much about his RL with me, hardly anything at all, whatsoever.

    I've confronted the issue, but he's given me some reasons and such that it's this way, rather than changing it or working on it at all. He's someone who has rigid boundaries about his personal self in general, so this seems to partly be a problem in himself he's worked on in other ways besides this particular thing. He's said he wants people to take the relationship seriously, and he's concerned that if he shares it, they won't, since it's currently a long distance relationship. He's got a neurotic mother who has issues and would probably act crazy about it if he shared with her, as well. He depends on his parents and doesn't want it to cause conflicts between himself and them. He also claims he's not actually close with the ftiends he has in RL, and doesn't get personal enough with them to feel comfortable with sharing the fact that he has a girlfriend with them. (Meanwhile, he also says they suggest this or that person as a girlfriend for him.)

    I know this is a huge red flag, but overall, we seem to have a strong relationship and we help each other grow as individuals. I've been handling it by being patient, understanding, and enduring, especially toward the reasons with his parents. My therapist is of the opinion that I should assert myself more about this situation. She thinks it shows a lack of commitment and value toward me. He has an easy back door by not sharing his relationship status with anyone, and he also should be commited/valuing me enough to make a stand against his parents and just deal with it. Her perspective is that there shouldn't be much risk in simply telling them that there's a woman he loves and intends to spend his life with in the USA once he's out of the army. She also thinks I need to assert my own value more, in the sense that I deserve to be more than just some online fantasy.

    It's eating at me, because I don't really understand why he's being so secretive about me. He's given reasons, but it still seems weird and like a major red flag to me. I feel deeply concerned and I don't know what it all means, or why he's truly doing this. He's at least told me about it, but that doesn't count for much in my eyes. I still find it highly suspicious and strange, and I fear these might only all be excuses.

    I don't know what to do.
    My opinion on the matter is this:
    Long distance online-only romantic relationships aren't truly real and more often than not never become real. The main physical component is missing, for all the imagination we are still physical creatures. You have never even met in real life so this is all more or less based on biased impressions. Sorry, but I see the statistical chances of it happening as really slim.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Northstar View Post
    My opinion on the matter is this:
    Long distance online-only romantic relationships aren't truly real and more often than not never become real. The main physical component is missing, for all the imagination we are still physical creatures. You have never even met in real life so this is all more or less based on biased impressions. Sorry, but I see the statistical chances of it happening as really slim.
    As for the distance, I'm determined to get the fuck out of the USA and immigrate to someplace in Europe regardless anyway. That isn't only something I'm doing for my relationship, so that part will happen.

    However, I'm aware of the impressions part being at least partially true (not sure how much or how little), and that's why I've left my expectations about the physical aspects (talking about how things are in person, not sexual) open-ended and unimagined. To be honest...I don't really even daydream about him (not the kind of person who daydreams or spends time in their imagination much about anything at all, though). I know better. Can't say the same for him, and I always feared he may change his mind in person when he discovers that I'm different than I was in his imagination. I have discussed it with him and I think he expects me to be different though. As for physical in the sexual sense...that's nonexistent in our relationship, since we're waiting until we're together IRL.


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    Why wait, just masturbate? Lol. (That rhymes so I get a pass as a somewhat of wannabe poet ) I was in a long distance relationship and that was the only way I could have survived it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Maverick View Post
    As for the distance, I'm determined to get the fuck out of the USA and immigrate to someplace in Europe regardless anyway. That isn't only something I'm doing for my relationship, so that part will happen.

    However, I'm aware of the impressions part being at least partially true (not sure how much or how little), and that's why I've left my expectations about the physical aspects (talking about how things are in person, not sexual) open-ended and unimagined. To be honest...I don't really even daydream about him (not the kind of person who daydreams or spends time in their imagination much about anything at all, though). I know better. Can't say the same for him, and I always feared he may change his mind in person when he discovers that I'm different than I was in his imagination. I have discussed it with him and I think he expects me to be different though. As for physical in the sexual sense...that's nonexistent in our relationship, since we're waiting until we're together IRL.
    I can only speak for myself, but without a physical and sexual component, a relationship isn't real to me. No amount of talking can replace actual physical intimacy when it comes to a romantic relationship.
    So maybe for him it's a potential good thing that may come true one day, but if he meets someone attractive in real life, he'll take the tangible over the potential or is maybe already doing so.

  34. #1034
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    @Northstar

    My SLE said the exact same thing to me. So we met and we made love. Then we went to a club and men kept hitting on me. He gave me this look.

    When he got home he told me he couldn't do a long distance relationship. I was heartbroken.


  35. #1035
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leo View Post
    Why wait, just masturbate? Lol. (That rhymes so I get a pass as a somewhat of wannabe poet ) I was in a long distance relationship and that was the only way I could have survived it.
    Lol...he won't appreciate me sharing this, but it's because he's a virgin.

    I don't really need the sexual component that way. I'm okay with the emotional component for now.


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    It’s interesting when young people talk about online relationships, I guess when you’re young, it can seem ok because you get a lot out of discussions with a person- you are finding yourself still. When you’re older, a relationship seems a bit more practical- supporting each other with day to day stuff, just helping each other along. You’re a bit more sure of who you are and don’t need to analyse everything, you just want an easier more pleasant life. I remember obsessing over a blogger- I wasn’t talking to him, but I got stuff out of reading his thoughts so I can see how you can connect with someone just via words/or more. I can see how you could feel connected to someone, especially if you are interacting.

    and look at Meghan and Harry- they were long distance for a little while. I guess the issue is is that it does feel real, but there is an element of fantasy because your lives aren’t really meshing, you aren’t dealing with practical issues together- and building that trust that your lives can fit into each other’s. I think it can be easy to be too optimistic, because it’s somewhat theoretical, and you don’t get to test things out as much, you don’t get to observe them, in the way we naturally observe people around us. I guess physical contact makes it more 3D as well, a bit more intense. I remember knowing of an SEI boy who was quite withdrawn but he had a fulfilling internet life, he met someone and I think there were plans to be with each other in the same place, I don’t remember what the outcome was, but I do know that the SEI died in a freak accident. I don’t know, I think you have to be careful devoting so much of your life to the online life. The internet was new when I was young and I def turned to it more than I should have- it seems like it offers so much, but it’s only one way of accessing information, and it lacks something that the physical world offers. It can give you tunnel vision. don’t know how clear any of this is.
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 03-14-2023 at 01:27 PM.

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    If we want to take a charitable approach to this situation, he might just be very inexperienced and doesn’t know to deal with his feelings or something. Like he cares about you but the intensity of it might seem too personal to him to want to share publicly especially if you guys haven’t met in real life. Maybe those around are intrusive and he doesn’t want to open himself up to their skepticism or scrutiny.

    Worst case, he’s very noncommittal and has some sort of avoidant attachment and he’s compartmentalizing.

    The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Maverick
    Lol...he won't appreciate me sharing this, but it's because he's a virgin.

    I don't really need the sexual component that way. I'm okay with the emotional component for now.
    If you ever get testy with him you can tell him that male virginity isn't real. "Virgo" (in the oblique cases "virgin-") is Latin for "maiden" (well, "maid" in the older sense of the word). Which means of course he should have nothing to pity himself for, right?

    By the way, do you know if παρθένος is still a word people use? If so, do people use it to refer to men now?
    Last edited by FreelancePoliceman; 03-14-2023 at 03:48 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Maverick View Post
    Lol...he won't appreciate me sharing this, but it's because he's a virgin.

    I don't really need the sexual component that way. I'm okay with the emotional component for now.
    Him being a virgin changes the things a lot I think. I was born a sinner, so I have no idea how that works in his head, but yeah, changes a lot. It's okay though. I had virgins.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    If you ever get testy with him you can tell him that male virginity isn't real. "Virgo" (in the oblique cases "virgin-") is Latin for "maiden" (well, "maid" in the older sense of the word). Which means of course he should have nothing to pity himself for, right?

    By the way, do you know if παρθένος is still a word people use? If so, do people use it to refer to men now?
    When I guy enters a girl the first time he experiences such intense feelings that it catapults him into an outterspace so I wouldn't say that male virginity is not a thing lol

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