Approaching and getting acquainted with an ESFp

[liveandletlive]

and i like my pickle where it is thank u very much...

[Khamelion]

sweet

lets get some pickles

[liveandletlive]

haha fuck yeah@

[BLauritson]

We are really good with detecting other people's motives and seeing as most of the INTp's I know are not exactly the kings and queens of subtlety (did I spell that right?).

Hmm I always thought that we INTp's were too subtle in "these issues". But I guess it's just me. I'm probably the subtles person I know, anyone subtler than me, runs away Maybe not subtle in other manners.

Interestingly enough, if ever I'm angry or upset or otherwise unhappy, but trying not to show it, my ESFp friend (not the same one I tried to get with) is, without fail, always the first one to see that something's wrong. Obviously I must be giving out some sort of very subtle signal, but somehow she can always pick up on it after a short while. Obviously it's possible others are noticing but not saying anything, but..

[liveandletlive]

haha thats really cool. And i was being sarcastic saying that intps are subtle... theyre definitely not but maybe its just that way to me since my Se is pretty insane and notice any miniscule difference in my surroundings and especially in others (Se +Fi is sick). But yeah im sure your ESFp friends probably gets mad for you which is the cool thing about duals... u compensate for what ur dual lacks so since u guys are pretty much in control of ur emotions we go over the top crazy with ours. Ya no what i mean?

[Khamelion]

haha thats really cool. And i was being sarcastic saying that intps are subtle... theyre definitely not but maybe its just that way to me since my Se is pretty insane and notice any miniscule difference in my surroundings and especially in others (Se +Fi is sick). But yeah im sure your ESFp friends probably gets mad for you which is the cool thing about duals... u compensate for what ur dual lacks so since u guys are pretty much in control of ur emotions we go over the top crazy with ours. Ya no what i mean?

Wow that sounds nice.

[liveandletlive]

i no rite, dual relations are the shit. i cant imagine marrying someone other than my dual after learning this stuff... which may be bad, may be good but seeing as intps are less than 1% of the population, its looking like the odds are not in my favor.

[Mariano Rajoy]

i no rite, dual relations are the shit. i cant imagine marrying someone other than my dual after learning this stuff... which may be bad, may be good but seeing as intps are less than 1% of the population, its looking like the odds are not in my favor.

I know loads. I can hook you up if you like.

[Warlord]

And i was being sarcastic saying that intps are subtle... theyre definitely not

I know What I meant was that. Although in some things INTp's aren't subtle at all. In other things, especially concerning potential relantionships, INTp's are too subtle. Sort of like a person that would either shout or whisper everything they say. So if people listen only what he shouts, they won't hear what he whispers.

I could be wrong. But from my point of view people don't seem to show much of reaction to the things I do subtly.

Like BL, I've also noticed that the ESFp's I know, sometimes seem to know/guess stuff about me, that I haven't actually told.

[Warlord]

i no rite, dual relations are the shit. i cant imagine marrying someone other than my dual after learning this stuff... which may be bad, may be good but seeing as intps are less than 1% of the population, its looking like the odds are not in my favor.

Not necessarily. Although there are less INTp's than other some other types, the amount of the INTp men who are single is still large. You just need to find them

Unfortunately I'm not american, so I'm not sure if this applies at all. But here where I live. One of the best places would be student diners. Although people almost never try to pick up people from there, it could easily work. At least you could see who's single and who's possibly INTp, by looking at them.

[Quirk Satellite Div.]

I know I am sending out clues about my feelings. Its not that I am being subtle- its that I don't express them directly ie. through facial expressions or the intonation of my voice. Essentially, I give very little or fake(as in it doesn't really indicate anything about the INTp) output that tells nothing of emotional state. Because of this, people, not only dominants, will tend to think that I am some anti-social crab who looks down on everyone, regardless of the fact that this is not true at all. What is clear is how I treat people in conversations and the way I act towards people, and since I have poor control over my emotions(like most other INTp's), these actions tend to be very indicative of my internal emotional state. With someone ESFp's are slightly familiar with, they can pick these signals up almost instantly.

@Warlord

The ESFp's aren't really guessing. Despite the fact that INTp's don't really "show" much emotion, their hidden agenda can blare out to some people, especially an ESFp. From their point of view, its not really a guess. I am sure ESFp's pick up on these subtleties, but when INTp's are throwing out so many of these subtleties at once, to some people it really isn't that subtle. :wink:

i no rite, dual relations are the shit. i cant imagine marrying someone other than my dual after learning this stuff... which may be bad, may be good but seeing as intps are less than 1% of the population, its looking like the odds are not in my favor.

I can find plenty of single INTp's on the northeastern US coast.

INTp's aren't really that rare(I would actually say that INTj's are the rarest type), they can just be hard to find. If you do want to find one in your area, perhaps searching for a Boston-centered science-fiction group on Yahoo might be the easiest way. But I wouldn't be surprised to find INTp's at stereotypical locations ie. libraries, computer labs, dimly-lit messy dorm rooms, etc. One thing I notice is that INTp's are inclined to spontaneous conversations in random locations with people they are familiar with or work with because they just happened to encounter them there. INTp's (ENTj's as well) are more likely than other types to not put much emphasis on dining as a social ritual. You can sometimes find them consistently going to dining areas or restaurants by themselves just to simply eat food. What is important is that they can be more easily identified through their daily routines when out in public.

[liveandletlive]

haha aww thanks for all the advice thats so nice guys! Yeah I totally agree what everyone has been saying about intps and esfps. I dont know if this is how you guys are or want to be perceived or what but to me when im with intps i feel like they're almost putting on a sad puppy dog act if that makes any sense (no offense to any intps!) and it makes me feel like its my job to make them happy. Is that intps way of protecting their hidden agenda? Is it an act (even a little bit)?

About finding an intp, ive found one who is confused about his sexuality... most of the intps (both m,ale and female) have always seemed kinda androdgynous (did i spell that rite?) to me both in terms of physical appearance and sexuality. What do you guys think?

I'm sorry if ive offended anyone, I don't mean to!

[Warlord]

[quote="liveandletlive"] I dont know if this is how you guys are or want to be perceived or what but to me when im with intps i feel like they're almost putting on a sad puppy dog act if that makes any sense (no offense to any intps!) and it makes me feel like its my job to make them happy. Is that intps way of protecting their hidden agenda? Is it an act (even a little bit)?[quote]

Hmm well, it's not a act, and we don't even look that way on purpose. INTp's might just look that way, even if not feeling sad. Like those puppies, the puppies aren't really sad, just happen to look that way. For me being melancholic is normal state of emotion, I have good reasons for it. But if those reasons were removed, I probably wouldn't feel melancholic anymore, but I'm not sure. People of other types especially feelers probably couldn't even handle it. As they seem to get depressed and upset over nothing (from my point of view). So actually I look less sad than how I feel. Well "sad" is wrong word, and I might look more mean than sad, I suppose it depends on person how they interpret my expressions.

Anyway it's great that you try to make INTp's happier. Unlike those that tell INTp's "to lighten up" on our own, that's very annoying.

The 's are trying to get us to show our emotions. What I'm supposed to do, fall on ground in foetal position, and start rocking, sobbing, mumbling:"windy, windy...". Or start breaking stuff (or people) in rage? Or what? And what would that accomplish?

About finding an intp, ive found one who is confused about his sexuality...

Confused how? Is he one of those transformers?

most of the intps (both m,ale and female) have always seemed kinda androdgynous (did i spell that rite?) to me both in terms of physical appearance and sexuality. What do you guys think?

Well I can agree with INTp females, they often seem bit boyish. Well I suppose also male INTp's seem more boyish than manly.

The thing is that I don't personally know any other male INTp's. I've just seen them around, so I don't know how masculine they are. They don't appear to be feminine to me. But myself I'm very manly (based on how I think/opinions/the way I dress), but even more non-feminine. Like 80% masculine, and 1% feminine. While average modern man is something like 50% masculine and 25% feminine. You know the saying: Iron men wooden ships, wooden men iron ships. One older ESFj woman, who was my co-worker was very convinced, that I'm horrible chauvinist pig. And I should vacuum-clean every day to learn to appriciate women more and to get in touch with my feminine side or some bull. I was like what the hell. I hadn't said anything negative about women, actually I haven't said much at all

The thing about appearing sexual is, that it's not really a manly quality. It just might appear to women that way. Men who appear very sexual, are trying to overcompensate their lack of masculinity. To me, men like that appear as feminine or sleazy.

Generally both male and female INTp's are less sexual than the other types. So maybe androgynous in that manner. But there are also exceptions, and those are usually into some kinky stuff.

[liveandletlive]

haha wow thats really insightful thanks so much for that! haha i love that little excerpt about the esfj! i cud just picture sum of the intps i no reacting to that situation! aww that makes me feel even more bad for u guys that u guys are always sad. u guys are the best- i swear! im not even saying that to be nice; i truly would not want another type as my dual