preferred topics of conversation

[XoX]

I asked this about my wife and she said (in no particular order)...

Why do you need to ask your wife that? It's a serious question. It would never occur to ask someone else what my preferred topics of conversations are.

Hah. Mostly to verify that I'm not making stuff up. I don't know what are my "preferred" topics of conversation really. I don't have much clear likes or dislikes in that area. I'm basically ready to talk about everything if it catches my interest. I don't make artificial borders like "I don't like to talk about fashion" or "I like to talk about politics". Also I more or less talk on impulse I think i.e. whatever comes to my mind at the moment or what people are willing to talk about.

So if I answer that question myself I would perhaps answer something like "I don't know. Whatever comes to mind. Different day, different people, different talk." or I would answer "Well today I talked mostly about xxx and yyy. Yesterday about zzz".

But when I ask my wife I can get a clear picture what she sees are the topics I seem to come up with on a consistent basis. With her that is. With someone else and in different context the topics would probably be different. I have generally learned to rely on her memory in this and in many other things. I think I'm so strongly tied to this moment and future to some extent that the past is pretty...blurred to me. I only know what I'm interested to do at this moment but not what I was interested to do a week ago or a month ago and so on.

I don't know if this makes any sense, lol.

[XoX]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

[FDG]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

[joking]I'm obviously always extremely horny

[Ms. Kensington]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

Do you (does one) have to be extremely horny to have serious erotic intent? I think I am prime Freudian material. Everything has a sexual component. This doesn't really mean much though.. i mean you see it all the time. Like, "male" and "female" parts of an electronic device.

EDIT: *lol* *imagines people saying, um. actually, I don't really see anything sexual about that bookcase*

[XoX]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

Do you (does one) have to be extremely horny to have serious erotic intent? I think I am prime Freudian material. Everything has a sexual component. This doesn't really mean much though.. i mean you see it all the time. Like, "male" and "female" parts of an electronic device.

I guess my Ti was imperfect there, heh. But umm...I think being horny and having serious erotic intent are connected.

[Gilly]

Anything that allows me to take a stance and defend it (without getting too dogmatic). I really just like talking about things that let me reason and stretch my brain a little.

[rockclimber]

politics
religion/philosophy
history
economics
the environment
rock climbing
relationships/family
food
music
and I admit, fashion occasionally

yesterday I wore a shirt that said: "This is what a FEMINIST looks like." Talk about a conversation starter.

[vague]

Anything that allows me to take a stance and defend it (without getting too dogmatic). I really just like talking about things that let me reason and stretch my brain a little.

Same. I like any kind of debate or argument with the exception of politics.

[vague]

I seem to frequently talk about how-to-be-more-efficient/productive, organisation, schedules, budgets, tasks/methods, why-my-way-is-right, etc. (this is annoying to others because more often than not I am actually right). Take those topics and apply them to pretty much everything on this list, though only while speaking of practical application:

This would sum up all the conversations I don't want to have.

[Gilly]

Anything that allows me to take a stance and defend it (without getting too dogmatic). I really just like talking about things that let me reason and stretch my brain a little.

Same. I like any kind of debate or argument with the exception of politics.

Ditto. Politics just makes me stressed out; I have enough problems of my own without worrying about the rest of the world's

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[raisonpure]

- The past.
- People in my life -- their habits, my experiences with them, what they've done, why I love or hate them, what I learned from them, how I learned to get along better with them.
- Checking up on their progress -- are they getting enough sleep? are they eating well? are they exercising adequately? are they working on their homework? are their relationships progressing smoothly? have they purchased the products they were looking for? and if not, what can I do to help them accelerate their progress?
- Culture -- what distinguishes a country from the others I've been to, making comparisons between them. differences in accent, differences in facial features (eg. New Zealanders have smoother, effeminate and more rounded figures while Australians are more angular), differences in attitude towards life and other people, differences in architecture and the arrangement of houses (eg. houses in Brisbane made of brick due to humid and hot climate while houses in New Zealand tend to be made of timber because it's dry and very cold there. also, the former tend to be arranged in an orderly fashion on generally flat ground while you can see houses scattered randomly across hills in the latter)
- Interesting places with beautiful scenery that people tend to overlook -- I may show my friend(s) to a secluded café, for example. Or suggest them to visit places where they can relax themselves.
- Recent events -- when and where the latest musical concerts are held (I may grab leaflets from universities and share them with friends), reviews on the ballets and operas I've been seeing with their pros and cons. Comparisons between different versions.
- Dissing fashion, silly fashion trends, cosmetics, and annoying recurring themes in romances.
- My beliefs.
- How to be a better person.
- Discussing strategies for approaching problems encountered in work. Sharing strategies for computer games, too.
- Dreams. Not of the future -- which I prefer to put in the back of my mind -- but of the ones I have in my sleep.
- Useful books, tools, techniques, and other resources that could benefit the people around me.

... Not much else? These days I spend most of the time entertaining my friends (most of all my ILI friend, who adores me and responds to me like I'm the coolest girl around muahaha ), making sure that everything is all right (people wearing clothing appropriately? check! taps not leaking? check! no ants in tea? check! fingernails not too long? check!), and doing whatever I can to be of use.

Prefer not to talk about:

- My background. eg. what school I go to, where I work at, where I come from, what my parents do for a living (none of your bloody business... and why should it matter to you, anyway? )
- School.
- Philosophy, since I don't need it to make progress. Less philosophizing, more living! Unless I can learn how to be a better person. But treatises on knowledge or theories on the nature of reality aren't applicable to my life at all.
- Useless languages like Esperanto or Latin. Or knowledge about engineering that I won't have any use for in the next 5 years...

[implied]

by god you should be the coolest girl around, raisonpure. i certainly love your +/- topics of conversation. i'd have to say that esperanto/latin is on my list of totally useless topics for conversation as well. you're beginning to make me consider INFp. (;

[olduser]

her list

Very exacting. I suspect most of your conversations never occur.

[raisonpure]

her list

Very exacting. I suspect most of your conversations never occur.

A shame you weren't present when I recited my 31 requirements in a boyfriend as a sort of joke -- though it was noted that many of them were repititions of previous items :wink:

And every one of them do occur -- how would I know that I prefer them if I hadn't experienced them?

For example, the strangers I meet here are usually curious about what life is like in other countries because they've "never been overseas" themselves, and it could easily turn into an in-depth conversation with exchanges of cultural observations.

It's also natural for me to worry about the progress of the people I care for, though I try not to raise those questions daily for fear that I'd seem like a busybody. But every couple of months, I check up on my EIE friend just to ask him those questions and see if there's anything I could do for him. The other day, my ILI friend told me that he was planning to buy an mp3 player, so a few days later, I procured a brochure for him and asked for his criteria so that I could browse around for him.

Every once in a while, my SEE friend and I would inform each other about the ballets we watched. Once, we both hummed a piece from our favourite scene in Swan Lake while we were talking about it on the bus He also asks me for resources on French or Japanese over the internet, which I'm more than happy to share.

Strategies for computer games -- one of the few topics of conversation between me and my father. Otherwise I just babble on while he inserts snappy comments every now and then.

Dreams -- my EIE friend got me into this last year, and I know more about myself because of them. Though they usually occur over the internet; I get nervous when I discuss them over the dinner table and end up talking too rapidly out of the fear that no one would have the patience to listen me out.

Finally, I appreciate conversations on how to overcome the obstacles I've encountered at work and fortunately, they do transpire pretty often. Otherwise I easily end up "wasting time making things way too complicated!!!" as my father puts it.

But okay, "My beliefs" doesn't count as conversations in that they tend to be monologues.

[Muffinstein]

I'd opt for being stuck in an elevator with raisonpure!
(I quite like when people know exactly what they want to talk about going into a convo)

I talk about (mostly),

- art !!
- music !!
- ambitions and dreams, crazy goals, "what are we doing next with our lives, guys?"
- general upkeep, like how people are doing
- interpersonal relationships / personality
- cooking/nutrition/food
- philosophy, but only if it's relevant. it usually is.
- random silly goofiness, especially when I'm "on"
- um, I'm usually the one people come to when they have stuff to work out, so I talk about psychological shit a lot, which I love to do cause I don't mind it and I think that's when people are at their most honest/beautiful.
- coincidences, mysterious occurances, magic, nature

I hang out with hippies.

[Creepy-bg]

I hang out with hippies.

[olduser]

her list

Very exacting. I suspect most of your conversations never occur.

A shame you weren't present when I recited my 31 requirements in a boyfriend as a sort of joke -- though it was noted that many of them were repititions of previous items :wink:

And every one of them do occur -- how would I know that I prefer them if I hadn't experienced them?

1. I am sorry I missed it. That could have been 31 new actions to take.
2. Yes, every single one has occured, and I thought that before I posted.
3. where do you live and what sort of work do you do?

[redbaron]

Kids (including school, sports, church, social activities, summer plans and parenting strategies--there's always something new going on with the kids. I like to talk to parents with kids who are older than mine to get their perspective and wisdom)
gardening
artistic pursuits (photography, dyeing, spinning, designing)
music
TV/movies
relationships (friends, husband, parents, brother, kids, in-laws--how they are, how I interact with them, what their motivations are and reactions, etc.)
stories from my past or listen to stories from someone else's past

Laughing is the best. I avoid sad conversations or too much seriousness. Although when I was in college I thought of myself as being someone who liked serious discussions and philosophy. Hmm.

I guess what I value more than anything else in a conversation, no matter what the topic, is genuine interest. There's nothing I appreciate more than someone sharing their time just to laugh and have fun OR be serious and talk about anything the other person wants to talk about. Especially at my age when people have so many responsibilities and seem to be rushing around with no time to spare.

[cracka]

Sex
Politics
Technology
Sports
Music
Nonsense

The 1st and 5th choices are what occupies 90 percent of my conversations. I don't like talking about "current events-news".

haha, the same could be said of me... except for me it would be a mix of technology and sports instead of music.

[XoX]

I asked this about my wife and she said (in no particular order)...

Global and local news and politics
Personality types
"Risks" and "threats" future might hold for us and to which we should prepare for
Health and nutrition topics
"Every day matters" (e.g. our child related topics, our home related topics, our finances related topics, what practical things we need to take care of in short and long term future etc.).

That's pretty much everything I talk about apparently

With some people I can also talk about sports but my wife is not too interested in that topic.

What does this mean type-wise? Which of you can relate to this list if any?

[Expat]

I asked this about my wife and she said (in no particular order)...

Why do you need to ask your wife that? It's a serious question. It would never occur to ask someone else what my preferred topics of conversations are.

[Blaze]

relationships

kids and family

friends and their lives

sex

TV/Movies/Arts

philosophy and spirituality (with certain people)

laughing about anything and everything

hobbies

fashion

don't like talking about politics, current events, investing, money, etc

[reyn_til_runa]

It disturbs me that so many people talk about sex.

Is this like,

1. "How is the sex with your hubby?"

2. "Aw that's great you and your boyfriend had sex. You are so in love."

3. "How does the orgasm feel?"

4. "Hm, the optimum angle for penetration in the doggy style position is...."


my preferred topics

philosophy, psychology, nature, books, movies, hobbies, science, music, art

-relationships but only with a few people and rarely about specific people in my life. it would be more about how they suck in general or about drawing parallels between them.

-religion, but don't discuss it with most because it is highly charged for me and i tend to offend.

-how people really are versus how they appear

-realizations

the default (and possibly the most comfortable area for most people i encounter) is random observations which spin into conversations -
"the lady over there looks like my 3rd grade teacher."
"ah, who did you have?"
"mrs. garver."
"did you like her?"
"sort of. she liked me though. i used to wish she were my mother."
"seriously?"
"well my mother and i didn't get along."

you get the idea. i really don't like to talk about illness. if somebody tells me theirs, i'm not sure how to react. and if i tell somebody mine, i feel attention-seeking.

[FDG]

It disturbs me that so many people talk about sex.

Is this like,

1. "How is the sex with your hubby?"

2. "Aw that's great you and your boyfriend had sex. You are so in love."

3. "How does the orgasm feel?"

4. "Hm, the optimum angle for penetration in the doggy style position is...."

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

[Going B. Zerk]

I mostly listen... but my topics are, in no particular preference, movies, TV, music, sex, food, drink, video games, hotties, the occasional interesting breaking news, my new toys, mocking at the state of the universe, my or other ppls wackness, some sports, other mindless things of interest like those on the list.

I very occasionally talk seriously about the state of the universe (I’d either have to be very upset about something or just in a strange philosophical mood), politics doesn’t really catch my interest unless it’s something of my immediate concern, I don’t like gossip, I don’t evilly mock ppl, I don’t really talk about the supernatural, and I try my best to avoid religious topics (I dunno why it is every time I read or hear the word “religion”, “God” and “Jesus” (if not used as an expression), and a couple of other words related to that subject, I feel like: *cringes* *mutters nasty things*).

[Going B. Zerk]

It disturbs me that so many people talk about sex.

Is this like,

1. "How is the sex with your hubby?"

2. "Aw that's great you and your boyfriend had sex. You are so in love."

3. "How does the orgasm feel?"

4. "Hm, the optimum angle for penetration in the doggy style position is...."

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

Indeed.

[reyn_til_runa]

It disturbs me that so many people talk about sex.

Is this like,

1. "How is the sex with your hubby?"

2. "Aw that's great you and your boyfriend had sex. You are so in love."

3. "How does the orgasm feel?"

4. "Hm, the optimum angle for penetration in the doggy style position is...."

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

like what?

[anndelise]

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

like what?

here is one example (but there are other types of sexual banter)
http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...=207174#207174

[reyn_til_runa]

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

like what?

here is one example (but there are other types of sexual banter)
http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...=207174#207174

Feeling rather naive because i don't get it at all. never heard of that term before.

[anndelise]

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

like what?

here is one example (but there are other types of sexual banter)
http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...=207174#207174

Feeling rather naive because i don't get it at all. never heard of that term before.

sometimes naivety is a good thing
but in case you want a little more info, this would cover some of it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_entendre

[reyn_til_runa]

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

like what?

here is one example (but there are other types of sexual banter)
http://the16types.info/forums/viewto...=207174#207174

Feeling rather naive because i don't get it at all. never heard of that term before.

sometimes naivety is a good thing
but in case you want a little more info, this would cover some of it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_entendre

Oh i see -- an erection
I thought the reference was to "sackofcrap" and all i could think of was a faulty embryo.

[Blaze]

It disturbs me that so many people talk about sex.

Is this like,

1. "How is the sex with your hubby?"

2. "Aw that's great you and your boyfriend had sex. You are so in love."

3. "How does the orgasm feel?"

4. "Hm, the optimum angle for penetration in the doggy style position is...."

Obviously not. It's more on the lines of banter, not technicalities.

yes...like, did he do it right? *smiles slyly*

[XoX]

I asked this about my wife and she said (in no particular order)...

Why do you need to ask your wife that? It's a serious question. It would never occur to ask someone else what my preferred topics of conversations are.

Hah. Mostly to verify that I'm not making stuff up. I don't know what are my "preferred" topics of conversation really. I don't have much clear likes or dislikes in that area. I'm basically ready to talk about everything if it catches my interest. I don't make artificial borders like "I don't like to talk about fashion" or "I like to talk about politics". Also I more or less talk on impulse I think i.e. whatever comes to my mind at the moment or what people are willing to talk about.

So if I answer that question myself I would perhaps answer something like "I don't know. Whatever comes to mind. Different day, different people, different talk." or I would answer "Well today I talked mostly about xxx and yyy. Yesterday about zzz".

But when I ask my wife I can get a clear picture what she sees are the topics I seem to come up with on a consistent basis. With her that is. With someone else and in different context the topics would probably be different. I have generally learned to rely on her memory in this and in many other things. I think I'm so strongly tied to this moment and future to some extent that the past is pretty...blurred to me. I only know what I'm interested to do at this moment but not what I was interested to do a week ago or a month ago and so on.

I don't know if this makes any sense, lol.

[XoX]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

[FDG]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

[joking]I'm obviously always extremely horny

[Ms. Kensington]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

Do you (does one) have to be extremely horny to have serious erotic intent? I think I am prime Freudian material. Everything has a sexual component. This doesn't really mean much though.. i mean you see it all the time. Like, "male" and "female" parts of an electronic device.

EDIT: *lol* *imagines people saying, um. actually, I don't really see anything sexual about that bookcase*

[XoX]

To the sex talk thing:
I have to tell that I never talk about sex. I can't sort of talk about it in a "light way". So either it has to be a serious sex talk (talking about it in a way a doctor would talk) or it has to be something which has a serious erotic intent. It is hard for me to be in a neutral mood when talking about sex. Either I'm extremely horny or extremely serious. heh.

Edit: I can throw sexual one liners though but that's about it.

Do you (does one) have to be extremely horny to have serious erotic intent? I think I am prime Freudian material. Everything has a sexual component. This doesn't really mean much though.. i mean you see it all the time. Like, "male" and "female" parts of an electronic device.

I guess my Ti was imperfect there, heh. But umm...I think being horny and having serious erotic intent are connected.

[Gilly]

Anything that allows me to take a stance and defend it (without getting too dogmatic). I really just like talking about things that let me reason and stretch my brain a little.

[rockclimber]

politics
religion/philosophy
history
economics
the environment
rock climbing
relationships/family
food
music
and I admit, fashion occasionally

yesterday I wore a shirt that said: "This is what a FEMINIST looks like." Talk about a conversation starter.