Let's consider the options.
Heaven. What is so great about heaven? It's naive to think that such a thing could exist. What would be different about heaven. I think heaven lost it's appeal to me when I realized that there was nothing I could imagine that would keep me happy for all eternity. What if someone's idea of heaven was getting to sin constantly and without recourse? They probably wouldn't get into heaven then. So what would heaven look like? Like earth but better? Remember the heaven in JTHM? Everyone just sat around because no one ever got bored. Do you think sitting around and never getting bored would make you happy? It might, but you also might as well be dead.
Hell. Hell would probably be more interesting than heaven because things actually happen there. There would be more interesting people in hell at least. What purpose does hell serve anyway?
"ok, so you've lived a terrible life, now we're going to torture you"
"why?"
"because you've been bad"
"for how long?"
"forever"
"doesn't that seem excessive? I was only bad for 70 years or so, and I didn't even cause that much harm in the cosmic sense. Doesn't it sound stupid that I would be in hell forever for poorly leading my short, simple life? What are you going to do with me after you torture me?"
"duhhhhmmm, torture you more? I'm a busy man (satan) and I have people to torture. Here's something really stupid that will cause you a lot of pain."
Purgatory. I'm going to sit around in nothingness and do nothing because I'm like an illegal immigrant and no one will let me in. Sounds pretty boring, like being in solitary confinement in prison forever. Whatever.
Nirvana. What's the purpose of it? It's something like getting out of the cycle of death and rebirth. Like eventually your karma will become so great that you are no longer part of the physical existence (samsara). I don't see the point of it. You might as well not exist.
Worm food. There is no more fear, anxiety, pain, sadness or anything else. You've had a good life and now you get your final rest.
"My heart will stop, my brain will stop functioning and my mind will fade into black like an ember that strays from the fire. I will never worry, I will never change, and I will never fear again. I really do find comfort in the fact that I will cease to exist in the true sense of the word after I die."
That is part of my blog and I still feel the same way. There are a lot of things I still want to do, so I'm not ready to go yet. I have a brain and I intend on using it, but I'm going to have a lot of fun in the process. I think I am having fun.
If you're having some kind of existential crisis, you just need to do something you enjoy. You need something to look forward to every day, so you should go ahead and find this thing. I guess you don't really understand why I say that everything is a learning experience, but that's my thing, it's what I do. I like to learn about everything and doing something new is a kind of rush for me. If I try something and fuck it up, it's frustrating, but it's also exhilarating. I get bogged down every now and then, but it all works out in the end. I stir up shit for fun a lot. I fuck with people's ways of thinking and confuse them. It's all about having fun. You might not enjoy that as much as I do, but I'm sure you can find something. It might annoy the shit out of me, but I'm sure other people would find it more tolerable.