Deltas has anyone told you that you're too serious?

[Mea]

Has anyone said you're too serious?? Or anything similar? And how do you guys relate to the other quadras?

Just wondering.

[anndelise]

Has anyone said you're too serious?? Or anything similar? And how do you guys relate to the other quadras?

Just wondering.

(I'm avoiding some stuff so I'll spend some time answering this )

When I used to play D&D type stuff, I'd try to play the more light hearted creatures, like pixies and such. But I could never get the characters right. I'd always wind up turning them into characters who were rather serious. In fact, no matter what kind of character I attempted to play...it always turned up being a Neutral Good character. (never lawful nor chaotic).
The other ENFps I knew seemed to do similar. One was always trying to play chaotic evil, but his character always did the neutral good stuff. The INFps who played did so differently, they were pretty darned good at Chaotic Neutral/Good/Evil characters. It was generally hard for me to play with those INFps....there were times when my character (and me) felt that their character (and them) weren't being serious enough about achieving the game goal.

I was usually the person who invited my friends to go out dancing. I'd volunteer to be the designated driver so that they could drink without worrying about how to get home. Without having anything other than water or soda to drink, I was often accused (by other patrons of the bar/club) of having had too much to drink and jokes made about how drunk I must be. Yet when it came to guys trying to pick up my rather drunk friend(s), they generally had me to deal with. Not that I'm against that kind of thing, but I would put in the effort to ensure that this was something my friend really wanted to do, and not just due to alcohol influence. I'd also take the steps to ensure the guy's claimed info was true and that I knew where my friend would be, and how I could get a hold of her if need be.

In high school, in the JROTC out of town competition meets, I was the one who'd sneak a group of people out of the hotel so we could all go have fun "harrassing" the town. Sarge and Colonel both knew I was the instigator of various things. But they willingly turned their backs because they knew that I always made sure that everyone was safe and got back to the hotel safely and in our unspoken agreed upon time so that my fellow competitors would get to have some fun, a taste of freedom, yet still a decent nights sleep and readiness for the competitions the next day. (Sarge was funny, he'd deliberately let slip some various things that were going on in the town as well as where some of the other schools were staying at, where he and the Colonel's rooms were at, what time they anticipated going to bed, when they anticipated getting up, and when they anticipated getting the students up. And when he'd hear about something we did, he'd act innocent of any awareness, and then later make a joking but cryptic comment to me about doing a "good job" without any direct reference to the issue.)

In work situations, I'd laugh and joke with my fellow workers (even when I was their manager), make jokes about how our department is supposed to be functioning, etc..... yet I ensured that everyone was in the position best suited for them and that we got our work done.

I'm often accused (funnily enough by the same people) of being both too serious...and not serious enough.

I admit, I do not like how serious I've become since I gave birth to my daughter.
I miss my carefreeness. I miss being able to just let loose, letting people think I'm drunk or high. I miss being able to skip off to do something at the drop of the hat. Why do I miss those things? Because of how serious I take my duty as a parent.

[rockclimber]

I'm told I'm too serious all the time.

[Topaz]

I'm told I'm too serious all the time.

Hi Rockclimber, Im not familiar with you but I must tell you I love the fast motion flower thing you have. Thats awsome. What is your type?
Myself, Ive always been serious but I have a lighthearted easy going surface. Even in school I rarely missed assignments or classes and always got good grades. Every year my elementary school would give out citizenship and scholarship awards and I always got one. I was raised in a religious household and that added to my seriousness. That notwithstanding, I had something of a temper and would rail against injustice, sometimes willing to fight for the underdog against bullies, or fight for personal rights.
I joke about all sorts of naughty things with friends and such but they and I know in the end I will try to do what is honorable and good. Im not saying Im a saint or anything but it seems like doing the right thing makes sense, is logical, and is honorable. So that puts me in the serious catagory.

[eunice]

I haven't really done much naughty or crazy things so far 'cos I always seem to have this "natural reflex" to think before I act and consider the possible consequences of my actions, how it will affect my future and I'm concerned how others will look upon me. I'm also pretty conservative too. So I guess it makes me a serious person.

[flower]

I didnt used to get the 'your too serious' thing when I was younger, but I have had it a little bit as I got older. I dont like it when people say that though, coz I dont think of myself as a serious person, and I do mess around quite a lot

I think it probably ties in with the delta quadra being refered to as the most mature/grown up quadra. I reckon ESTj's must get it all the time.

[jessica129]

I get it a lot. It's only based on my facial expression because i'm the least serious person you could ever meet.

[UDP]

Has anyone said you're too serious?? Or anything similar? And how do you guys relate to the other quadras?

Just wondering.

Maybe this is why I get along with deltas so well

[rockclimber]

I'm told I'm too serious all the time.

Hi Rockclimber, Im not familiar with you but I must tell you I love the fast motion flower thing you have. Thats awsome. What is your type?

Hello. I'm an INFj.

[Exodus]

"Too serious" is generally the only problem I have with Deltas. I think most Alphas would feel the same.

[mikemex]

People often says I'm quite serious. Overly. Even as a child people said so.

It probably has to do with being quite aware of the consequences of your actions.

[Mea]

Like ann, I have gotten comments about being serious and not serious enough.

I remember once when I was in secondary school(I was 14), my friends and I were talking about something(can't remember exactly what). There was 4 of us, me, an esfj, entp, and the other one i'm not too sure intx i think. And I was just talking about my point of view and sharing my thoughts and they all glared at me and said "Wow. Why are you being so serious??"
I was kinda embarrassed. I didn't think I was that serious in the first place. But I considered the topic to be serious one.
But I can't tolerate nonsensical discussions about other people, I'm referring to gossips.
I usually have nothing to say in such conversations and yes, some people will give comments that I'm taking it too seriously, or I'm not participating enough.

Usually when I get comments about me not being serious enough, it'll be about school work. By teachers. Well, doing school work and being serious about it largely depends on my mood.

[anndelise]

Most recently, courtesy of Diana after I give my impressions of some pictures during a forum discussion: "But at any rate, I think you might be taking the pictures a little too seriously "

:wink:

[Mea]

Most recently, courtesy of Diana after I give my impressions of some pictures during a forum discussion: "But at any rate, I think you might be taking the pictures a little too seriously "

:wink:

ROFL!
So, what do you feel about that comment?

Talking about pictures. I get comments that I don't smile enough in pictures and I look too serious. (I wonder if that's normal of IEEs)

[anndelise]

Most recently, courtesy of Diana after I give my impressions of some pictures during a forum discussion: "But at any rate, I think you might be taking the pictures a little too seriously "

:wink:

ROFL!
So, what do you feel about that comment?

Talking about pictures. I get comments that I don't smile enough in pictures and I look too serious. (I wonder if that's normal of IEEs)

first response was confusion: "serious? i was just expressing my thoughts when I glance at the pictures, it's not like these pictures are important to me"
second response was...."hmmmm, i wonder if she said that because of this serious delta thread"

anyways, i did pm her a link to my above response.


one of the things i dislike about pictures is that my camera smiles are usually pasted on because the camera-person asked me to smile for them. When I look at these though, all I see is a shell of me, not the real me, not my spirit. However, I do have a couple of pictures in which I was asked to smile for the camera, but then the camera-person said something funny just before snapping the picture off. My smile comes out goofy, but finally there's a sparkle in my eye and a hint of me showing past the body shell. Unfortunately, in 35 years, I only have two pictures like this.

[napalm]

I've been told that I seem too quiet and serious to the point of arrogance. People seem to assume the worst if you don't say anything

Hah! I get that all the time.

[Froody Blue Gem]

Before people get to know me, they have that impression of me. I come across as unemotive or cold in certain settings, based on my default facial expression, and people perceive it as being serious. I may come across as more unapproachable than reality when anxiety kicks in. I'll admit, I tend to be a cautious person, and there are certain things I do indeed take seriously but I'm anything but a rigid person.

There is even a videotape of little 3 or 4 year old me sitting at a table not looking too happy and someone off camera saying "so serious...." xD

Some people are surprised when they see me open up, and I act freer. At my first job, my supervisor was saying something about me warming up. I'm also focussed on doing things the right way and in settings such as these, my sense of humor tends to fade away. In the workplace, people especially have this impression of me, because I'm focussed on the rules and what I need to do. Once you get to know me, my sense of humor is prominent, and seriousness is not my core trait.

[Sol]

to by "funny" is Fe related
in my experience it's Fe types annoy by commenting your emotional expression

[ContractedCriminalboy]

All the time since kindergarten to today. Both because I generally take things seriously but also just because I'm quiet and have a serious facial expression, even when internally I'm feeling rather laid back, goofy, and immature people still think I'm being serious, which frequently leads people to take my jokes as serious statements lol.

But when there's no body language involved such as in texting, those same jokes and interactions with people would get me viewed as a carefree "class clown" so to speak, so it really is telling how powerful body language and vocal tone delivery is in communication.

[Aylen]

to by "funny" is Fe related
in my experience it's Fe types annoy by commenting your emotional expression

Welcome to the "merry" quadras because you are indeed funny.

[Sol]

Welcome to the "merry" quadras because you are indeed funny.

The humor of Fe quadras differs from Fi ones.
I'm not sure in Adam Strange type still, but his joking reminded ILI style. The example for the comparision. One of familiar ILE whined about joking of one ILI, that it's hard to understand where he is serious or joking, what annoyed him.
That ILI knew about types since near time when I did. During 1-2 years after I've tried a type test, I met him accidentally on a street and in our talking mentioned about types. He asked what I think about his type. I've thinked for some seconds and supposed it's ILI. He've said it's correct and shaked my hand. I've felt like got a blessing. From the one who had the type alike Jung.

[Aylen]

The humor of Fe quadras differs from Fi ones.
I'm not sure in Adam Strange type still, but his joking reminded ILI style. The example for the comparision. One of familiar ILE whined about joking of one ILI, that it's hard to understand where he is serious or joking, what annoyed him.
That ILI knew about types since near time when I did. During 1-2 years after I've tried a type test, I met him accidentally on a street and in our talking mentioned about types. He asked what I think about his type. I've thinked for some seconds and supposed it's ILI. He've said it's correct and shaked my hand. I've felt like got a blessing. From the one who had the type alike Jung.

Cool. Adam is not ILI though. I can say that is one of the types I know best due to reasons you know (if you remember).

[Sol]

Cool. Adam is not ILI though. I can say that is one of the types I know best due to reasons you know (if you remember).

Knowing good a human of some type does not remove a possibility for mistakes. At least, he seems closer to ILI than LIE.

[Aylen]

Knowing good a human of some type does not remove a possibility for mistakes. At least, he seems closer to ILI than LIE.

Video courtesy of @Yaaroslav

[Sol]

Video courtesy of Yaaroslav

That Yaroslav did not followed own wisdom enough as having ENFP thought himself as INTJ.

Would be good to see Adam's video sometimes. I strongly suspect ESI are not his holly ones What he wrote about women choice by how those are smart is not what suggestive F types do, which seek for emotions the most. Among Te types ILI is more possible.

[Starvish]

only my mom

[Minde]

I used to worry a lot more that I was too serious when in jovial or loud groups. I can display sincere emotion (and observant people can usually accurately read where I'm at, at least in generalities), but my level of extroverted emotiveness only really reaches a certain height I think, regardless of how strongly I'm feeling. With Fe and/or Se heavy groups, I can tell based on their little reactions that I do have a dampening effect. That said, I can't remember any specific times when someone has said I'm too boring. Perhaps too serious though, yes. One in particular I remember came from a LSE...

I used to try to take more responsibility for that dissonance, but these days I'm a little more confident that those who enjoy my energy will enjoy it and those who don't can rearrange themselves as they wish. And if I get too uncomfortable I don't have to try to make us all fit; I feel more freedom to settle into my niche, knowing I do have good to offer in my own ways. (I think this also might tie into my 9ness - melding too much, and feeling uncomfortable when I didn't. I feel more comfortable now with the discomfort of not agreeing or being in sync.)

Being around people who have reassured me of my value regardless of how not-lighthearted I am has also, interestingly, helped me relax and be less serious at times. Kinda like worrying makes it worse, lol, duh.


There was one time when an SLE (boss) told me I cry too easily. Which took me by surprise because up until that point I would have said I probably didn't cry enough, or at least that I did a fairly good job hiding distress. Of course, the comment and the context in which it was made made me well up in tears, which I think only helped cement it in both of our minds. It hasn't been until recently that I've been rethinking the healthiness of bottling up those emotions... That's not strictly related to this topic, but it popped into my head.

[Beautiful sky]

Yes I’m very serious at times for my own good. I can miss jokes when I’m not in the mood or frame of mind

[Kernel]

I show my non serious side usually only to Deltas. I can't seem to know how to joke around non Deltas (except for few, like SEI).

I find what majority of my friends talk about and joke about quite boring and not funny so I don't participate. So others think of me as serious...

Like once I remember I was with a delta friend chatting then an ESE came to talk with us, she was silent while me and the delta friend were talking and laughing, then she told us that we only laugh at stupid stuff lol.

[Disturbed]

I've actually been called goofy and silly more than I can remember being called serious. But I think of myself as overly serious at times and I probably would be more serious if I didn't have so much free time.

As for what humor I like, I generally find ILE-Ti humor most elegant (just like they're elegant in all other ways) though it was occasionally unpleasant mainly because I just wanted it to be quiet and found it annoying because it was too loud. I love me some Kelsey Obsession and Kimberly Kane, they're both ILE-Ti. And the Cable Guy is the best movie ever and was directed by an ILE-Ti. I guess LSI-Se are my second favorite in terms of humor.

It's interesting that the super-talented James Cameron is an ILE-Ti but isn't known for being funny, though he does appear somewhat goofy.

[Retiree]

Yes, multiple times, also when I was a child. Yet, I seem to be somewhat goofy around my few close friends.

[Jemez]

As a potential Delta, yes, and I don’t worry too much about it.

If someone is tugging on me too hard toward their mood or away from mine, my defense is to refuse to be amused. It may be wrong, but taking things so seriously means I put a lot of work and energy into the rules...let me have my one thing that I fight.

[Lord Pixel]

"Too serious" is generally the only problem I have with Deltas. I think most Alphas would feel the same.

Lol my roomate would say I'm too serious, he's ILE. But the minute am not serious he goes right into deep cutting humor like I got "roast me" written on my forehead, which makes me jump right back into being serious again for protection sake. He also claims I think about things too much or too deeply, saying it's not that deep. Which makes no sense to me how you can not think about something in that way but I'm not an extrovert so idk how that works. Words fly out your mouth then you hear what you just said? Who knows? I'll never.

As far as other people thinking I'm too serious, uh some people would say I'm too silly, but not much would say I'm too serious, well maybe if they didn't know me, they would think I was quiet, and if they did know me maybe they would think maybe I was prude or something, not adventurous enough to try cocaine just once because it's cool, but serious? Anytime someone has said I'm too serious it's because I'm intentionally being serious because I don't want to be approached by people, and the person values Fe like 99% of the time and wants my mood to lighten up for them.

WhY sO sEriOUs???

[Lord Pixel]

As a potential Delta, yes, and I don’t worry too much about it.

If someone is tugging on me too hard toward their mood or away from mine, my defense is to refuse to be amused. It may be wrong, but taking things so seriously means I put a lot of work and energy into the rules...let me have my one thing that I fight.

That is a very good way of putting it, yes that's exactly what I experience, and then people say I'm too serious, but that's me being intentionally serious.

It's never someone saying I too serious and it catching me off guard like something I don't have control over because I'm "delta" and can't help it.

[para]

Often described as arrogant, cynical, toxic or vitrolic - but not serious. People often view my humour with caution as they find it impenetrable qua the blurred distinction between humour/seriousness.

[Still Alive]

Often described as arrogant, cynical, toxic or vitrolic - but not serious. People often view my humour with caution as they find it impenetrable qua the blurred distinction between humour/seriousness.

are you an EII? I wondered which INxx type you are.

[para]

are you an EII? I wondered which INxx type you are.

I'm currently residing in the SLI mindscape. But, transitory states and all that...

[Still Alive]

I'm currently residing in the SLI mindscape. But, transitory states and all that...

I think you are heavily leaning towards Ni. we have very similar interests.

[Chthonic Daydream]

On the contrary, a lot of people would say that I'm almost never serious.
It is an act more than anything. Donning the jester's mask is satisfying and lets you slip away with a lot of things.
But the guise does wear out and come off from time to time.

(May or may not be Delta but I'm marking my territory by peeing in this thread anyway)

Oddly enough, I've never felt at home in loud and boisterous groups. I've been in the UK for three weeks now and didn't really engage in the "go to a pub, get drunk for fun, be loud" culture so far, and I don't think I ever will. It's very off-putting to me.

[ashlesha]

When I think of deltas being too serious i think of my IEE friend kinda disturbing my IEI bf back when they worked together by loudly chatting him up about her frequent and unusual sexual exploits right next to the bosses office