Could ISTps be players and dating

[jewels]

Do you think that ISTPs are more or less "player-ish" than other types?

I know there are a lot of topics about dating advice for ISTPs on here, YET it seems in real life, many ISTPs are actually players. Do you think that their quietness makes it easier for them to date many girls at once? They don't have to lie if they don't say much, right?? I think it's possible.

Of course, I've met scum of all types...but I've realized some of the ISTps I've known seem so nice and innocent yet they are bastard scum players like all the rest. They're just quiet so it's hard to tell at first. Please tell me it's not type related...I'd hate to give up my lofty notion of perfect ISTPs.

[Mea]

I dunno, but I doubt it. If my boyfriend is really an ISTp, he's not a player at all.

Anyway... Cool! Another ISTp is back on the forums!

[Angel von Himmel]

Yes and No ... it depends upon the individual.

[jewels]

their quietness makes it easier for them to date many girls at once

If only that were the case. In fact, our quietness actually makes it hard to meet (and date) people. We've got pretty high standards either way..

Yeah I can see it'd be harder to meet them, but once you've got a few, I suspect ISTPs are good at handling that. Just think of the ISTP guy in Brokeback Mountain, he was able to date the guy and the girl, lol. The quiet ones can be sneaky, lol.

But rmcnew, I think you're right. Good and bad comes in all types.

And enjio, I'm glad to hear that you have high standards, if only more guys did!

mea, that's good to hear you've found a non-player one I will try to let that remind me that there are good ISTps.

Does anyone else have some nice things to say about ISTps you've known to renew my hope in the goodness of this type? Or at least, that there are some good ones within the type...

[FDG]

I think the guy in Brokeback Mountain was more likely ESTp.

The Fi dual seeking make it somewhat hard for ISTps to be player. Even the more outgoing one that I know - the chick magnet kind of - is at the mercé of his ENFp girlfriend in regard to feelings. Just as of late I have seen him very down because she was toying with him due to boredom. Not to mean that every ENFp does this mind you.

There are also the very quiet ISTps (Si subtype?) that basically don't date at all until their mid-20s, IME. I always try hard to make them go out a bit, but ZILCH! They are so freaking wound up in their routine.

Jewel, you might mistake the more extraverted ISTps for ESTps, I think. Their demeanor is differnt, though.

Looking at all the ISTps I know, I'd say that no, they aren't players. ESTp 3 is the most likely player.

[Expat]

Yes I agree with most of what FDG said.

Some true ISTps may give the impression of being players, but they aren't really; they are really looking for a serious relationship but "shooting in all directions" so to speak for a time. That happens to male ISTps who have decided that they don't want to be alone and who have overcome their inertia and "shyness". It's one way how the Fi hidden agenda + Fe PoLR can be manifested.

[jessica129]

Yes I agree with most of what FDG said.

Some true ISTps may give the impression of being players, but they aren't really; they are really looking for a serious relationship but "shooting in all directions" so to speak for a time. That happens to male ISTps who have decided that they don't want to be alone and who have overcome their inertia and "shyness". It's one way how the Fi hidden agenda + Fe PoLR can be manifested.

I do this.
What about female players?

[Expat]

I do this.
What about female players?

Uh, I mentioned male ISTps because I happen to know of two such cases personally, and because gender roles are still that it's the males who have to do the chasing, so an ISTp man (or INTp) would be quicker to conclude that he's the one who has to overcome their "inertia" (if that's a good term), that was my assumption.

[jessica129]

I was messing around. I'd never consider myself that.

[meatburger]

I know a few ISTp's guys that do quite well. One of them is quite good looking and hes a great guy so hes quite desirable. His quietness yet calmness is endearing to quite a few women.

The other ISTp has had his fair share of women. He often seems to achieve this by just putting himself out there (lots) lol and soon enough he finds someone willing to get with him.

I wouldn't call either of them players per say though. Players seem to be able to charm and seduce women. I suppose any type could learn this but i have witnessed real players as ESFp's, ENFj's, ESTp's. Im pretty certian some ENFp's could easily do it but im too scared to try.

Every type has their own attraction mechanism's they use.

ESFp's use their fun loving nature combined with acting hip and tough
ESTp's use their pure confidence and outgoingness to talk and be cool.
ENFp's use their humour, wit, smiles and charm
and so on..

Still i have an INTp friend who is not nerdy at all hes pretty outgoing etc. Its funny he doesn't even seem to do anything but women seem to flock to him.

[flower]

I agree that ESTp's and ESFp's are the most likely players. Although I did once have a ENTp friend who seemed to have a new girlfriend each week, so im sure there are some of all types, ESTj's sometimes seem to have that player aura about them sometimes.

[meatburger]

Dont forget ESFp's lol

I know of a pair of ESFp brothers who had a girl getting competition in the city one night. They each managed to pash about 10 girls each.... They were creating fights because they were getting with girls infront of other girls they previously got with

[Reuben]

The BlueBlade is back. And he just wants to say that ISTp's can be the best players you can ever get, because no one suspects him. No one can read his mind. And everyone is scared of the fact that they are like an open book to him.

Sue me.

[jewels]

I think everyone has made some good points. I see what you're saying FDG and Expat and Meatburger. And Flower, I agree with you about the ENTps (I think their egos make them want to have all the girl's attention more than anything). Jessica129, I think that ISTP girls would probably be very good at playing guys, but just my guess.

Okay, so what TheBlueBlade just wrote...um, yeah...that was my point exactly! And the worst part is, they have everyone so fooled into thinking they're so innocent and sweet because they're quiet, but that doesn't always seem to be the case.

I'm sure many ISTps are cool and looking for more. But it seems that any guy who has figured out how to play people, keeps doing it.

With most other types, I can easily spot the players. Even if it's something very subtle. I can see right through all their crap and the ways they try to manipulate. Like when a guy makes up a story about how something terrible happened to him that day (like someone died, or he failed at something) to try to get you to come over because he's "sad" even though nothing actually happened. I see through that with no problem. But ISTPs are hard to read because they don't try the typical manipulative stuff.

Most people are either open and expressive, or hiding something. ISTps act like they are always hiding something, so it's hard to notice any difference.

The BlueBlade is back. And he just wants to say that ISTp's can be the best players you can ever get, because no one suspects him. No one can read his mind. And everyone is scared of the fact that they are like an open book to him.

Sue me.

If only I could sue guys for being players...think of all that money

[science as magic]

1 in 4 max (probably more like 1 in 6)

so my answer is no

[IcEPiCk]

Think about it people. ISTPs are shy by nature. I would say I am a very outgoing ISTP after overcoming that barrier now. I still get the sense sometimes its better to be in your natural state and be shy as an ISTP because sometimes if you are outgoing people just tend to naturally hate the ISTp and think they are overconfident or compensating. Perhaps it is the way I go about it. Ive seen it in other ISTps who are outgoing, where they can exude a cockyness hard to miss and hide. I know I am the world's shittiest liar and learned from a young age its pointless. Blueblade I often doubt you're even ISTP, you are far too confident and outgoing but perhaps I was like that at your age to .

Our hidden agenda is to love... So why would we fuck with someone's head? Wait let me rephrase that. Why would we break someone's hard by risking getting caught? ya we are smart enough to play 2 girls at once but we dont get any enjoyment and or excitement from it. It would perhaps feed a ESTP's confidence or reassure the ESFp. What do the ISTPs get out of cheating?

NOTHING! We are pleasure seeking but we are so picky in the first place... (why ENFPs are naturally programmed to take care of their appearance).... What pleasure do we get out breaking a girl's heart for action when our hidden agenda is to love?

ZERO ZERO.

Perhaps we may behave in a way that makes the ENFP think we are all that and a bag of chips so that they worry about us and dont get bored of us. Some sort of defense mechanism. It is only a strategy to keep the ENFP at bay and not straying and getting bored. The subtle worrying can help perhaps. Just my oppinion.

and what is this ISTP masters of the universe garbage? We have our talents, we feel the subtle things other people cant, and some intensities others miss... Every type has their talents though, when you learn this you can appreaciate the practicality socionics has to offer you as a tool in understanding and utilising the intuition of others for assisting you when you have problems etc.

The Fi dual seeking make it somewhat hard for ISTps to be player. Even the more outgoing one that I know - the chick magnet kind of - is at the mercé of his ENFp girlfriend in regard to feelings. Just as of late I have seen him very down because she was toying with him due to boredom. Not to mean that every ENFp does this mind you.

Um yes not to go on a tangent but ENFPs definitely do that sometimes if they are bored. Perhaps less mature ones but they will toy with you when bored... I dont see the point lol

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Mea]

Think about it people. ISTPs are shy by nature. I would say I am a very outgoing ISTP after overcoming that barrier now. I still get the sense sometimes its better to be in your natural state and be shy as an ISTP because sometimes if you are outgoing people just tend to naturally hate the ISTp and think they are overconfident or compensating. Perhaps it is the way I go about it. Ive seen it in other ISTps who are outgoing, where they can exude a cockyness hard to miss and hide. I know I am the world's shittiest liar and learned from a young age its pointless. Blueblade I often doubt you're even ISTP, you are far too confident and outgoing but perhaps I was like that at your age to .

My boyfriend is like that. The outgoing kind. And he exudes that overconfidence and arrogance sometimes. Though I'm still not sure if he's really ISTp.

Our hidden agenda is to love... So why would we fuck with someone's head? Wait let me rephrase that. Why would we break someone's hard by risking getting caught? ya we are smart enough to play 2 girls at once but we dont get any enjoyment and or excitement from it. It would perhaps feed a ESTP's confidence or reassure the ESFp. What do the ISTPs get out of cheating?

NOTHING! We are pleasure seeking but we are so picky in the first place... (why ENFPs are naturally programmed to take care of their appearance).... What pleasure do we get out breaking a girl's heart for action when our hidden agenda is to love?

ZERO ZERO.

Eh? Was he referring to cheating? I thought he was talking about hurting an ENFp deliberately to kinda "test" their feelings and their own feelings. Hmm.

[Topaz]

I thnk Blueblade was just having some fun. I like reading his post. Perhaps he's a bit older and just has some life experience to draw from (Didnt he say he was divorced?). Either that or he's making it all up

[FDG]

Think about it people. ISTPs are shy by nature. I would say I am a very outgoing ISTP after overcoming that barrier now. I still get the sense sometimes its better to be in your natural state and be shy as an ISTP because sometimes if you are outgoing people just tend to naturally hate the ISTp and think they are overconfident or compensating. Perhaps it is the way I go about it. Ive seen it in other ISTps who are outgoing, where they can exude a cockyness hard to miss and hide. I know I am the world's shittiest liar and learned from a young age its pointless. Blueblade I often doubt you're even ISTP, you are far too confident and outgoing but perhaps I was like that at your age to .

I have to repeat, 3 ISTps out of 4 I know are very outgoing. And I think more confident than me (more confident than most people I know honestly).

[jewels]

Yeah Icepick's post totally restored my confidence in ISTPs! Good times...Hopefully Blueblade's view represents the 1 in 4, or the 1 in 6 ISTPs who are players. The odds are on my side. hoo ray!

[meatburger]

Think about it people. ISTPs are shy by nature. I would say I am a very outgoing ISTP after overcoming that barrier now. I still get the sense sometimes its better to be in your natural state and be shy as an ISTP because sometimes if you are outgoing people just tend to naturally hate the ISTp and think they are overconfident or compensating. Perhaps it is the way I go about it. Ive seen it in other ISTps who are outgoing, where they can exude a cockyness hard to miss and hide. I know I am the world's shittiest liar and learned from a young age its pointless. Blueblade I often doubt you're even ISTP, you are far too confident and outgoing but perhaps I was like that at your age to .

I have to repeat, 3 ISTps out of 4 I know are very outgoing. And I think more confident than me (more confident than most people I know honestly).

Yeah i see ISTp's as quite confident. I judge peoples confidence by how many signs of worry they display in certian situations. Since i never see many at all from ISTp's i conclude they are confident.

Yeah the ISTp's i know are quite social aswell. Normally they dont talk a great deal but get them pissed they normally get quite excited. They often seem to start out strong and social, but can retreat away to solitude by the end of the night. ENFp's can also do this too if we are not getting any attention.

[meatburger]

Yeah Icepick's post totally restored my confidence in ISTPs! Good times...Hopefully Blueblade's view represents the 1 in 4, or the 1 in 6 ISTPs who are players. The odds are on my side. hoo ray!

Yeah Icepicks a great ISTp. I talked to one from work the other day who was friends with the two hottest girls there. One of them kept hitting on him and i said "hell why didn't you have a crack at her" and he said well he would probablly sleep with her and then things would get complicated.

Seems to be two types of people in this world, one type that sluts themselves out and just picks anyone and hopes for the best or one that sits back and waits for a good match to come along. Both definately have their advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages of slutting it out -
You get to have a lot of fun
You get confident and good with dealing with relationships and handling opposite sex
Dating more people your more likely to know what your looking for

Disadvantages -
You might get stuck in a shitty relationship and get Jaded when it fails
You might choose to get married to the person then have it fail
You or they might get pregnant then your screwed


Advantages of Caution
You dont get into as many sticky situations (literally) lol
You dont tie yourself up to the wrong person and have to deal with all that crap
Your relationships may possibily be closer ones
You dont take advantage of anyone
You get your own freedom

Disadvantages -
You could get jaded everyone else is getting laid and your not
You could get hung up on the opposite sex so when a good one comes your too scared to do anything
You could be lonley for a long time
You may get desperate and end up taking anything

Hehe before i get flamed i know there are lots of flaws in what ive said but i felt like saying it anyway.

[jewels]

Yeah, good summary Meatburger. I have never understood how people can not care and just want the physical. You'd think they'd get lonely. But each to their own I guess! As long as the slutty guys leave me alone. If only there was some filter for that. Maybe I should send guys a "are you slutty" quiz, instead of a personality quiz

[jessica129]

There comes a point in everyones life that, after you've lost your virginity and have experienced how great the act is, you kind of have to "slut it out" a few times for purely physical needs. Or maybe it's just me? Friends with benefits pays off big time for that need. It doesn't mean anything emotionally to me, sometimes you just need a good...well...you know. Would I much rather have a meaningful relationship? Of course.



what is my point again? Who knows...

[meatburger]

for purely physical needs. Or maybe it's just me?

Nah of course its not just you thats the view of most people.

what is my point again? Who knows...

Yeah i dont remember my point either

[jessica129]

I dunno, i know a few people who have gone years without it and don't even care. I wonder how they function.

[meatburger]

I dunno, i know a few people who have gone years without it and don't even care. I wonder how they function.

I am in that boat. I mean it does suck sometimes but as an intuitive i live in a mental world more than a physical one anyway

[Exodus]

I dunno, i know a few people who have gone years without it and don't even care. I wonder how they function.

Yeah, this is a very Si-dominant tendency.

[Going B. Zerk]

Do you think that ISTPs are more or less "player-ish" than other types?

umm, no.

There are also the very quiet ISTps (Si subtype?) that basically don't date at all until their mid-20s, IME.

[cracka]

There comes a point in everyones life that, after you've lost your virginity and have experienced how great the act is, you kind of have to "slut it out" a few times for purely physical needs. Or maybe it's just me? Friends with benefits pays off big time for that need. It doesn't mean anything emotionally to me, sometimes you just need a good...well...you know. Would I much rather have a meaningful relationship? Of course.

what is my point again? Who knows...

Werd, I've learned how to turn the emotions on and off when I meet someone I'd just like to sleep with and nothing more. I've found that if you actually have feelings with someone when sleeping with them and making them feel like you "love" them, it makes for 10x better sex...lol So one could say that I've somewhat slutted it out myself... Ok, well that does sound pretty bad, ok reeeally bad...lol
I think it's got a lot to do with not wanting to settle down with anyone at this point though, so many people in my life started having kids and getting married in their teens and early 20's, I'm about to be 27 and I'm still not ready to go there yet. It may have a lot to do with watching my brother have his first kid right after we graduated high school and having 4 kids by the time he was 23. I see that and it just scares the bejesus out of me...lol Of course, don't get me wrong... let the right person come along and I'm sure my views would change... but until then...

[FDG]

Do you think that ISTPs are more or less "player-ish" than other types?

umm, no.

There are also the very quiet ISTps (Si subtype?) that basically don't date at all until their mid-20s, IME.

from the forum, you don't sound like a quiet one, not extremely so

[Reuben]

I would like to reply to icepick's post about me.

I said that ISTps are the best players you can ever get, but can you ever get them to be so?

The only 'player' aspect that an ISTp will ever have is the aspect of having, maintaining, and managing Polyamorous relationships. Think about it, if we wanted to love, to satisfy our , why should we just love only one lady? Why just love only two? Why love only twenty, thirty, or forty ENFps ladies when you were made to love a hundred? And then why love only a hundred? We CAN, if we want to, manage this. We can live in a house full of ENFp women. We can make them shut up once they start bouncing around SIMULTANEOUSLY on the bed and sofas (due to the dance of that we don't *fully* understand, but we find really sexy). We can do whatever we want and not get caught.

But we are pharque-ing introverted.

Yet the possibility viewed through and will make the special ENFp girl we choose feel very lucky.

(I don't believe in luck though,

and I still believe in the Polyamorous side of me. To the ladies out there, ISTps will never break anyone's heart.)

One last thing before I go.

I am not ESTp.

I am your regular furry, kitten-fuzzled ISTp with the exception of having the presence of a few ENFps in my life (not in my family so don't tell me I was lucky). The thing about ENFps in an ISTps life is this: They make you believe in the impossible. And that's all we ever needed.

[Topaz]

Now you got me wondering what kindes of things you consider impossible that ENFPs dont?

[Reuben]

Is it possible to not get frowned on by ESFj's for "not finding the right balance" of Fi, after having too many ladies in one house, and one ENFp wife who is having a kickin' good time with all her other friends?

An Inconvenient Truth (the reason why Al Gore was pissin' in his pants):

ENFp[sup:75a6890efb]1[/sup:75a6890efb] plus ENFp[sup:75a6890efb]2[/sup:75a6890efb] plus ENFp[sup:75a6890efb]3[/sup:75a6890efb] ... plus ENFp[sup:75a6890efb]Infinitieth[/sup:75a6890efb] PLUS 1 ISTp = Global Warming.

[Topaz]

Is it possible to not get frowned on by ESFj's for "not finding the right balance" of Fi, after having too many ladies in one house, and one ENFp wife who is having a kickin' good time with all her other friends?

An Inconvenient Truth (the reason why Al Gore was pissin' in his pants):

ENFp[sup:826291bb2a]1[/sup:826291bb2a] plus ENFp[sup:826291bb2a]2[/sup:826291bb2a] plus ENFp[sup:826291bb2a]3[/sup:826291bb2a] ... plus ENFp[sup:826291bb2a]Infinitieth[/sup:826291bb2a] PLUS 1 ISTp = Global Warming.

I know ENFPs can be generous but Man! Your wife is VERY generous to let you hang out with all those other ENFP ladies. You must give her a lot of reasurance

I wonder if you could get that many ISTPs women in the same room with one ENFP without some serious brawlin going down?

I suppose there are some things that ISTPs do that ENFPs would be hard pressed to acomplish on their own. Not impossible just difficult ( and possibly boring )

[Reuben]

I'm sorry to break the bubble, but I'm not socially married yet. I have made a contract with her, a deal, a pact that cannot be broken. I will marry her. Right now I'm not even at the legal age to have sex. Only Icepick here knows my real age.

[Topaz]

I'm sorry to break the bubble, but I'm not socially married yet. I have made a contract with her, a deal, a pact that cannot be broken. I will marry her. Right now I'm not even at the legal age to have sex. Only Icepick here knows my real age.

Thats some big talk for someone so young then. Well I hope it all works out for you. I think its nice to find someone youre compatible with at a young age. I wish it had happened to me

[Reuben]

Age gives experience, and other than that, it's just an illusion.

I believe that whatever age you are now does not matter, as long as you are in the present, nothing that you missed out in the past will affect you. Time is another illusion. To humans like us who exist in the third-dimension, the fourth dimension shouldn't even be a bother. There is only one thing true of time. That now lasts forever. So whatever you want to do, do it now. Whatever you must say, say it now. If you need to pharque your future wife however, it is better to simply give her extended foreplay. Sex can come later when it's legal to get pills. (I don't believe in condoms.)

Pharque this stinkin' world and it's myriad of illusions. (:

[Creepy-bg]

condoms rock man... I'll take any little bit that'll make the sex last longer. Girls appreciate it too, when you can last for two minutes instead of the usual one :wink: