IEI - SLE Duality discussion and stories (INFp-ESTp)

[ESTP]

AID: encourage me to do things I despise doing but have to be done...best way is to do them with me! It'll be cuz we'll spend time together...and at the same time, do something I hate which has to be done

eg. I hate school, but I'm in college right now. IEI-dood, was "aiding" me in studying (hate to do it) by offering to have me go study with him at a library...

that's about as far as aid goes...the only thing I really detest is school type settings, and school overall...

COMFORT: hug me in hard times where I'm sad or upset... ( ) but NOT when I'm angry...that will just piss me off even more

ask how I feel about a certain situation that's gone awry...more so, ask what I think about it, and try to get me to dissimilate it into and associate with it by giving examples of where you were in the same position and you agree with me...but don't do it, unless it's legit

ACCEPTANCE: accept the fact that when I tell stories, they will be long and detailed...especially if im super passionate about it, there will be a lot of added details that are almost irrlevant but help the story somehow

side with me, if im pissed off at someone for whatever reason, but dont put them down

don't talk about other people's physical short-comings...you never know if i in my own mind relate to them or think i posses the same however obsurd and unintentional..dont' do it...ill think you're talking indirectly about me and my downfalls...it'll just push me away...

that i have issues talking about emotions, and when I do, epseically if im telling someone how i feel about them...it will come off as agressive, confrontational, and poorly articulated...it's just sort of a defense mechanism, that I set up as safeguard in case the response is negative...i cant help it..it just happens like that

I best articulate myself in wirting (emotionally speaking) - sometimes, when I write about how I feel, it's like it's not the same person....


I speak in terms of "me, I, to me, etc etc" because it's just how i percieve things....

If you gots more questions.....ask away..i'm in a revealing mood...so by all means, while this IEI-dood has got my "openness" dam cracked...might as well take advantage of it before I fix the cracks

[sigma]

What do you think people get wrong about you? What do they miss seeing?

How could someone help you circumvent your fear of success?

And if you want to help me in particular, please take a moment and think about the idea of a birthday gift. What would be the ideal characteristics of this birthday gift for you? Could you elaborate by throwing in few examples?

[ESTP]

a dash of "f*ck them all" carelessness... Kinda like stepping into the dance ring and doing your moves not caring what people think, just having fun...

KEY!

Basically, being able to take control of situations...make up your own mind, don't be a follower, be a leader so to speak. If I see someone has the ability, but they don't over-exert it...ugh sexiest thing in the world. The ability to have total control...but elect to not use it..*DROOL* Sorta like they way Obama presents himself...he has so much power over people but doesn't abuse it in fact, he is super nice and friendly with a degree of control...it's that difficult balance. It's perf.

[Satan]

In a way a lot of people have temptation to give their control, and their repsonsibilty over to others.

It takes a lot of effort and energy to stay in control, and take responsibility for yourself - and when you can give that away - to someone else - even if just for a period of time then it can freeing.

It's like I am here, I will help you. *reaches out hand* Now take, my hand.

I will hold you up. I will keep you strong. I will keep you safe, I will protect you. Don't worry with me you're safe, you can let go.

Which in theory leads to the "you'll probably just leave me" if there's no trust, but as trust builds it's like people can kind of "allow" other people to kind of guide them to lead them, and they'll still be able, they'll still have their own personality. But it's like they can free themselves from their normal doubts and worries and concerns.

Their mind can be easy. And they can kind of be "easily led" as long as doesn't cross their boundary thresholds, or any deeply held values. And when that's approaching they can speak up.

[ESTP]

Want to know something messed up? I havent like...eaten in 4 days..maybe like half a grapefruit. I lost like 4lbs in 3 days, cuz I have no appetite, I work out, and I ..dont sleep as much, so I'm on here a lot more. It's great that Im losing weight and all that..but for me not to have an appetite is uber werid. I can't help it but think it has something to do with "the situation"

[sigma]

It's great that Im losing weight and all that..but for me not to have an appetite is uber werid.

Lost of appetite is the way the dude from "Into the Wild" died... nice movie, clean death...

[Satan]

estp.. i can't eat when i'm stressed... i don't say stressed for that long though....

but like sometimes, it's like there's no point.

but liek, there's this insatiable side too.

anyway, strange emotional states can kidn of screw with me for a while sometimes. soemtimes like two or three hours even. but it's like, i notice more cos like.. i would normally eat then. and i'm not hungry, and this is weird.. and it's like my equilbrium is screwed.

but then, i've run into quite a few girls who just don't eat, and they don't even seem to have a reason. at least one they want to acknowledge.

but like, i seem to remember you don't have a job. and you have this relationship bullshit. and it's like these things can add up.

when people have money, they have other healthy relationships etc... one thing can't screw with them as much. so they're more resistant.

maybe you just don't have time to get emotionally involved. and you should just stay between the safety lines.

[ESTP]

I blame INFp influence....

lol

[Satan]

I blame INFp influence....

lol

EAT..

I ate with this random guy, who knew who I was, and had met me before, and who everyone seemed to giev cigarettes too.

Anyway, he had this hanger on friend. And we were talking about bullshit, and started to demean him a bit, in a really abstract strange kind of way...

Then it was like, he was eating with us, but it's like he couldn't even finish. But how quickly we were both ready to eat his food, may have scared him. Anyway, that guy - it's like he could keep up to me when I was fast, and it's like good matching of pace. And it's like, he wasn't really making his own decisions. But then he started being self-revealing and shit.

Anyway, it's like as our intensity level was kind of high, and he was kind of falling back, it was like, hangon, that guy couldn't even reject his loser friend. But then it's like he was like, you can ask (me) for an invitation, but he couldn't even ask to be invited or included...

But yeah, anyway, we went on a kind of walk... got alcohol... he carried for me... and he kind of told me about various problems various people had with me, and we kind of related and blah, and then he kind of joined in our drinking, and he was kind of cool for a while.

Then he talked about how he was a male whore a bit much. He was kind of exaggerating and story telling, and whatever. But he was kind of funny, so it was okay. I can't really remember where things went from them.

But anyway he was clinging, and even with raising intensity, it's like he could still cling. Where some people, intensity rises and they can't cling. And it's like in the alcohol shop we were acting kind of over the top, and it's like we hadn't really even spent much time together before that. But somehow, we both started acting kind of crazy. And it's like, hey sweet

[ESTP]

Want to talk about expressing myself? I shall show you this: what I wrote to INFp-dood. The letter I spoke of...I think after that is when my appetite ceased actually...bleh.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CRAPPOOOOLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA