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Thread: Does every type fall in love just as hard?

  1. #41
    Olimpia's Avatar
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    I believe every (Socionics) type of person can potentially "fall hard" for someone, depending on various conditions. How much a person will experience infatuation seems largely be dependent on how much the other person fits your love map, your hormone levels, attachment style and perhaps even Love style. I would say all of these factors add up to the whole experience of "falling in love (limerence)".

    You could make the statement that Logical types *generally* fall not in love as hard as Ethical types. However, with the right mixture of love map, hormones, attachment style, etc., I believe some Logical types do "fall harder" than some Ethicals.

    Before I suggest what type (combination) would "fall the hardest/least hard", let me preface this by pointing out the fact that the whole experience is subjective. For some people, just randomly thinking about the person and wanting to be with them is already a big sign for loving them greatly. Whereas others only testify someone as "in love" when they cannot sleep and eat due to their obsessive focus on the person. I base my assessment on the general idea of someone "falling in love hard". I list the attributes from the order of most to least importance.


    Falls in love the hardest: SX instinct first, Preoccupied Attachment Style, Mania Love Style, Eros Love Style, SX/SP stacking, E2 or E4, Ethical type (esp. ExFx).
    Falls in love the least hard: Avoidant/Dismissive Attachment Style, Ludus Love Style, SO/SP stacking, Pragma Love Style, SX blindspot, E5 or E1 (may not apply if SX first), Logical type (esp. xxTj).



    Edit: I have come up with scorings. First three aspects count 3 points each, following three count 2 points each, last aspect counts 1 point.
    Whatever list contains more aspects that apply to you, this list's scoring will count (more). (You can be a mixture of the two lists, I suppose. It is like the two different sides of you. )
    (Also, you may only choose one Love Style as your main one for the scoring.)
    If little (1 point) from either list applies to you, consider yourself: Average Joe/Plain Jane. Your Love is "Average".

    List 1 scoring:
    16-10 points: Love Stalker. Your Love is "Burning".
    9-5 points: Hopeless Romantic. Your Love is "Hot".
    5-2 points: Cupid's Student. Your Love is "Warm".

    List 2 scoring:
    16-10 points: Frozen Heart. Your Love is "Freezing".
    9-5 points: Pragmatist. Your Love is "Cold".
    5-2: points: Love Newbie. Your Love is "Coolish".
    Last edited by Olimpia; 11-06-2015 at 04:15 PM.

  2. #42
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erk View Post
    Falling in love has nothing to do with the types and is unique to each individual.
    This
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  3. #43
    hatesyardwork's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    does every type have the same levels of adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin?

    different types could make different choices in response to love - some might dwell on thoughts of their lover more, or be more inclined to intellectualize it and distance themselves from it, or be more or less single-minded, or pursuing, or retreating. and since our thoughts kind of create our reality, the way we think when we are in love might influence how intensely we feel about it. but sometimes the people who seem the most stoic can be the most inwardly turbulent.
    This is excellent. You kind of wrapped up romance styles, egos, functions and type in a nice nutshell and metaphor for typology without mentioning typology once. Beautiful.

  4. #44
    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker View Post
    I bet every type thinks their type falls in love hardest. <3
    I've never thought my type fell in love hard.

    Quote Originally Posted by aestrivex View Post
    Te types might fall in love, if at all, only after a long period of association and mutual understanding.
    Yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    does every type have the same levels of adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin?
    I would expect chemistry to be NTR.

    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    You could make the statement that Logical types *generally* fall not in love as hard as Ethical types.
    I've always thought NFs fell in love more frequently and suddenly and STs much less frequently and more gradually.

    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    Falls in love the hardest the most often[/U]: SX instinct first, Preoccupied Attachment Style, Mania Love Style, Eros Love Style, SX/SP stacking, E2 or E4, Ethical type (esp. ExFx).
    Falls in love the least hard the most often: Avoidant/Dismissive Attachment Style, Ludus Love Style, SO/SP stacking, Pragma Love Style, SX blindspot, E5 or E1 (may not apply if SX first), Logical type (esp. xxTj).
    The sx-first falling in love the hardest and most often makes sense.
    But I think you have your categories wrong. Both say "most often." Shouldn't the latter be "least often"?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I've always thought NFs fell in love more frequently
    Besides NF, the other factor - irrational types have passions/likings more frequently. Love probably is rare for all types. It's different feelings.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post

    The sx-first falling in love the hardest and most often makes sense.
    But I think you have your categories wrong. Both say "most often." Shouldn't the latter be "least often"?
    I meant that for the second list, these characteristics make them not fall hard most times. Whereas the traits for the first list make people fall in love hard most times. (Implying people of both the first and second list have moments where they seem to act "unlike" themselves, like people of the second list suddenly falling in love hard, etc.)

    "Most often" would have to be translated into "this applies the most times".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    irrational types have passions/likings more frequently.
    How so? Could you elaborate on that?

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    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    I don't want to fall in love with the Mania style at all, it happens but that's because I'm stupid. Here's to Storge.

    Eros is kind of the romantic ideal, but that's hard to find. There's a lot of ways to get here but it's probably a long road.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    This
    Perhaps. I think we all fall in love in different ways. It's probably a nexus of type, instinct stacking, personal bullshit, your culture, and physical appearances. We'll never figure this one out, or at least I pray we don't. I mean, there is a story out there. The "love" potion is sold for peanuts, but it induces a very, very "unhealthy" form of love in the victim. The one who bought it thus requests a non-lethal antidote in short order. The seller just happens to have it... for a VERY exorbitant fee.

    Evil? Yes. Good businessman? Why he most certainly is! Made the fact we're mostly ignorant of our own desires work for him but good. Gotta give the devil his due!

  10. #50
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    I think that logical types might "fall for" people less often, but when they do it seems very intense because of the rather foreign emotions that it involves. Then again, maybe that's just being LII.

    On another note, I think that logical types are less emotionally mature than ethical types, though this also has to do with temperaments in general. Emotions are seen as static to static logical types.
    Last edited by ghost of forum past; 11-19-2016 at 10:56 PM.

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hacim View Post
    I think that logical types might "fall for" people less often, but when they do it seems very intense because of the rather foreign emotions that it involves. Then again, maybe that's just being LII. Or puberty.

    On a more serious note, I think that logical types are less emotionally mature than ethical types, though this also has to do with temperaments in general. Emotions are seen as static to static logical types.
    IF the OP is about how types fall in love you makes sense. Logical types are less experienced and unconfident in analyzing their own/my emotions. I have never related much to poetry and metaphor as it relates to the "expression" of love as a logical type. Feeling it and saying it are whole different worlds for me. Static is well said. The language of love, speaking from the heart...... seems like a different language. I truly analyze attraction thru a weird logical spectrum that it very individualized and way too complicated because I often truly have a difficulty dealing with some of the overwhelming feelings that come with deep attraction, because my program is to analyze it the way I do everything else and struggle because my "ethical" lens is not a strength. It's a conscious realization that I am not good at this........the language and expression of love and what it even is Am I in love with her? Why am I in love with her? Is this physical or emotional?...........and knowing I am not good at assessing or expressing either. Truth is it is always emotional attraction if I ask this question to myself and probably analyze it as such. "OK lets get some objectivity here......calm down, how do I feel about her?" I can't communicate confidently and mentally break things down as I do with other things. So I have as much fear and doubt as anyone with how to assess whether I am in love and if this love is going to reciprocated. Gamma SF (if we are into each other) have this look in their eyes and body language that communicates everything without saying anything that I for some reason can decipher immediately and confidently after 8 hours of sweating the last thing she said. And then the look and it all goes away. The sincerity and acceptance and their desire, which was in doubt is communicated effortlessly and I am in. So love is about the doubt (dealing with ethics) and then the relief of that doubt (acceptance of love) with the look. If I am even sweating the emotional side of things......I am really into this person, because I just don't care otherwise. Very clumsy and unsure where I am usually walking between the raindrops of not giving a shit. As verbal as I am in all other things, I am far more comfortable with a look than a love letter and with the girls who come off this way.
    It's never love at first sight, I become more attracted to someone over time. So it can't be unrequited for me..........my attraction to others often begins with me realizing they like me from a look I get, or a lot of looks, because I am oblivious. But if they do show interest and I convince myself it's genuine and I am willing ( I don't chase every girl who shows interest, the opposite, I auto reject mostly) but the odd one usually Gamma SF will interest me and maybe something will happen without going into the benefits of Duality or Activity and why I like these type of girls and consider if I want to explore this with them. But it's always a slow buildup where a lot of trust and loyalty has been established and I allow myself to be emotionally committed. I don't give my heart easily but I can let myself get there.

  12. #52
    Muddy's Avatar
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    It wouldn't surprise me if the love styles were strongly correlated with the IEs in the following manner:

    Eros: Ti/Fe
    Ludus: Se
    Storge: Si/Ne
    Pragma: Te
    Mania: Ni
    Agape: Fi

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    I'm pretty certain this is something that falls outside of the realm of socionics since the model primarily deals with how one takes in and manages information rather than predicting the exact effect of a given stimulus. It might be more accurate to say that some types manage the relationship/their feelings better, which allows them to control how 'far' they fall in love.

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