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Thread: How to not scare away Ni types especially women?

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    Default How to not scare away Ni types especially women?

    I have a question for Ni women on here.

    *sighs

    Alright, well, I kinda had this situation today, and I am in need of some help. If any of you can do that, I would greatly appreciate it.

    The reason why I am posting this in the Beta forum is because this deals with an ENFj in particular. There is this gorgeous ENFj, I feel like I could go into detail about every aspect of this person that I could possibly know of in the two or three hours that I have met her; so now you know where I am coming from . So anyway, I finally got around to talking to her a couple of days ago before class started and then I was like “holy asl;iasdlftr she is awesome!” I turned around with a smile (because I couldn’t help it), then our instructor looked at me and called me out saying “what are you laughing at?! Alright, let’s see you laugh when you get your exam!” (ENTp translation: see this guy, he is a loser [this coming from a trusted authority figure). I felt like I was totally screwed with my chances with everyone including her. Afterwards I was so embarrassed that I did not think I could talk to her after class. I think the way she saw me after that was that I did not have control, and that I “acted weird” around her because I was nervous. I wanted to talk to her today, but again I was nervous and I ended up talking to some of my acquaintances instead. I think I weirded her out (A.K.A fucked up, pardon my language). I should be banging my head against the wall right about now. How do you get an type to not be weired out? What is this from an perspective and how could I change the situation?
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    misutii's Avatar
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    umm Ni types are really like the weirdest people you'll ever meet with the highest natural tolerance for other's weirdness like really man she probably likes you more now
    INFp-Ni

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    I hope you are right

    I can't get over this it's driving me nuts.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    She's looking for an ISTj, just keep that in mind. Now forget what I said and go about your business.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Indeed looking for an ISTj. This does not mean that we ignore everyone who gets nervous near us. It's even somewhat a compliment, because I'm quite good at noticing the body language of people. She has probably noticed that you're usually a relaxed kind of guy, cool around your friends, but that you start acting all goofy around her. Find out more about Se-kind of seduction. Don't chicken out. If you think you have totally fu**ed up by now, you obviously have nothing to lose.

    PS! I usually make an opinion about a person long before I start talking to them. Clothing, body language, hair style, hygiene etc tell me so much. That one moment probably didn't change much.
    PPS! Making people laugh is not far from being my secondary life goal. It's positive to see when my actions have resulted in a happy outcome. So it's a good thing that she knows you had a wide smile after talking to her.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
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    Khamelion's Avatar
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    i see no cause for anyone to be weirded out, or excluded from dating anyone in that class. all he did was tell you to be quiet pretty much, and that happens in class rooms....teachers get offended when students are plainly not paying attention so he was taking it out on you.
    SEE Unknown Subtype
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    Now I feel better

    This is all encouraging, but I still think that there is something wrong though

    well, I suppose I'll find out next week.

    Thank you!
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    IDK if this helps but there is guy that i pass by every morning in the halls in school...he gives the creepeiest smiles and stares...he scared me so much to the point that i ran into the bathroom...but anyway ENFj's are pretty friendly so u should go up to her and talk to her naturally and she will probably act as if nothing happened as well...
    ENFj Ni subtype 3w4
    "And once you lose your way you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely"
    formerly onetreehilluver

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    The fact that you ask is worse than the fact you were embarassed. Just don't give a shit abou it.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I did not go into detail about the instructor calling me out in my first post, but it happened in such a way that it appeared that I demonstrated myself to be a loser (obscurity and scorn). I take my school work and my standing with my peers very seriously. But right after that I felt that I was totally fucked. I mean there is nothing that gets to me, except for something like that which hits me at the very core.


    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    The fact that you ask is worse than the fact you were embarassed. Just don't give a shit abou it.

    Yeah I am right about to that point right now.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean
    I take my school work and my standing with my peers very seriously.
    Ahhh that's the problem!
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    don't worry jimbean. it's minor. but i think you stand a chance with an enfj girl. i went out with an enfj guy for like 3 years and we were madly in love. i ended up breaking up with him, too. i think he eventually ended up with an istj girl, but for the age we were, it was a great relationship. and we were about the age you are now. so just keep on with her. :-) good luck....

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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