Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Unfavorable socionics intertype but good marriage?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    4
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default Unfavorable socionics intertype but good marriage?

    I'm an entp married to an isfj husband. I know we are not supposed to work, but it does. Sometimes, I do feel like we are from different planets, but we accept that we are different and let it be, and when we pull together it is great. He is my favorite person to be with (unless work is driving me nuts) in which I shut down (from everyone.) I admit there are times when I wish he could brainstorm with me (he thinks of the worse case scenario immediately) but I sense he is just trying to take care of me in his way and I love that he loves me. I had great chemistry with isfp's and intj's in the past, but it never worked long term. Anyone else defy the rules?

  2. #2
    oyburger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    somewhere overthere
    Posts
    2,528
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I do. I'm an INTj married to an ESTp. Everyone we know has always thought we're a mismatched pair, but we work well together and are somehow able to put up with each other's quirks. Our minds work in very different ways, but we accept that and acknowledge that, so we're forgiving of each other when we need to be.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    8,577
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    hey; if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

  4. #4
    oyburger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    somewhere overthere
    Posts
    2,528
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by niffweed17
    hey; if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Works for me.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

  5. #5
    Exodus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    8,475
    Mentioned
    332 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I hate to rain on the parade, but if you really get along that well, I'm skeptical that those are yours and your husband's actual types. Are you sure he's not ISFp?

  6. #6
    meatburger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    A Quazar named Northern Territory
    Posts
    2,625
    Mentioned
    12 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush
    I hate to rain on the parade, but if you really get along that well, I'm skeptical that those are yours and your husband's actual types. Are you sure he's not ISFp?
    Yeah have to agree with that call. I can see Supervisor working ok but conflictors? shit you would be one in a million
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

  7. #7
    Jarno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Netherlands
    TIM
    ILI-Te
    Posts
    5,428
    Mentioned
    34 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    i've read in a translated discription, that if conflictor use a certain degree of politeness with eachother (creating distance) they can live with eachother. And i've also experienced this myself. I'm pretty good friends with a conflictor of the opposite sex.

    But i have had a relationship of 4 years with my conflict in which i didn't create the distance, and that relation was only conflict... at the end really bad.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    USA.
    TIM
    INTj
    Posts
    4,497
    Mentioned
    4 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno
    i've read in a translated discription, that if conflictor use a certain degree of politeness with eachother (creating distance) they can live with eachother. And i've also experienced this myself. I'm pretty good friends with a conflictor of the opposite sex.

    But i have had a relationship of 4 years with my conflict in which i didn't create the distance, and that relation was only conflict... at the end really bad.
    could you explain this more? it seems like politeness would be readily accepted by an ESFj. Would this work with other conflict pairs?

    I can work out with my conflictor if we don't really have deep conversations. If I talk about my relationships it can also create a point of commonality with an ESFp.

  9. #9
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2005
    TIM
    D-LSI-Ti 1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    11,529
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm kind of skeptical about why you think your husband is ISFj.

  10. #10
    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    North Italy
    TIM
    ENTj
    Posts
    16,806
    Mentioned
    245 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'd say your hubby could be esfj.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

  11. #11
    Kristiina's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Estonia, Tartu
    Posts
    4,021
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by science as magic
    i've noticed that superegos seem to work decently well together
    Me and my INTp are the living proof. I think this depends strongly on the supervisors' subtype.

    Due to my relationships with ISTps, I can't see how conflict marriage could work on a long time-scale. I really don't see it.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

  12. #12
    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario
    TIM
    Beta sx 3w4;7w8
    Posts
    3,408
    Mentioned
    18 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    My parents are Look a Likes (ISTj & ISFj) and they have an extremely stable relationship, with honestly barely any fighting for agesss and ages. It's a weird kind of love though, I don't see too much passion in it because they're so comfortable with eachother.. meh, I dunno. I wonder what other marriages are like... most of my friends' parents who have long lasting marriages all have good intertype relations.


    Dress pretty, play dirty ღ
    Johari
    Nohari

  13. #13
    Kristiina's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Estonia, Tartu
    Posts
    4,021
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    my supervisor parents ESTj and ISFp have to have seperate hobbies because they start fighting if they spend too much time together. They have about one-week fighting phases about 1-2 times per year. Also, the ISFp can act passive aggressive about some things that bother her and then it takes one mistake from the ESTj to unleash the anger. The ISFp is convinced that everything is bad and the ESTj has no idea what's going on. Then they fight for a week, the ISFp lists everything that's wrong, the ESTj finds ways to make up for all the things, they make up and the then the ESTj brings home flowers all the time to make the peaceful time last longer. I used to worry that they really are going to break up, but now I think it'a just a cycle that they go through.

    I have noticed a similar (but much less severe) cycle in my own supervision relationship, but I cause it (supervisor, not supervisee like with my parents). Every once in a while I get the feeling that all the small problems (lack of Se in the relationship) keep repeating themselves and then I get frustrated. The INTp tries to find solutions, but I wish the INTp would just tell me that it's all in my head as soon as he notices the signs.
    EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
    E3 (probably 3w4)

    Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!

    Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
    New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/

  14. #14
    Jarno's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Netherlands
    TIM
    ILI-Te
    Posts
    5,428
    Mentioned
    34 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington

    could you explain this more? it seems like politeness would be readily accepted by an ESFj. Would this work with other conflict pairs?
    yes. it works with all the conflict pairs. according to the socionics article.

  15. #15
    Exodus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    8,475
    Mentioned
    332 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno
    i've read in a translated discription, that if conflictor use a certain degree of politeness with eachother (creating distance) they can live with eachother. And i've also experienced this myself. I'm pretty good friends with a conflictor of the opposite sex.

    But i have had a relationship of 4 years with my conflict in which i didn't create the distance, and that relation was only conflict... at the end really bad.
    could you explain this more? it seems like politeness would be readily accepted by an ESFj. Would this work with other conflict pairs?
    I think politeness is not a very accurate name for it. It means don't get into each other's business or way, and speak to each other only when you absolutely have to - or when dictated by social norms (i.e. "when polite").

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •