Enneagram Compatiblity, Intertype Relation, Common Matches

[Dmitri Lytov]

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/compatibility.asp

[FDG]

most common couples from my observations:

7w8w7-6w7w6 extx ixfx
2w3w2-8w9w8 exfx xxtx
4w3-1w9 ixfx ixtx
2w1-8w7 xxfx extx
6w7-6w7 ixtx exfx
1w9-9w8 ixtx ixfx

[Expat]

1w9-9w8 ixtx ixfx

I agree that 1-9 is common, in the sense of ISTj-ISFp.

In short, Nines tend to take a bit of the rough edge off of the criticality and seriousness of Ones, while Ones give clarity and direction to Nines. Further, Ones feel that they have a mission in life, and they are able to inspire Nines to become aware of their own purpose and to want to follow it. This can be a highly altruistic couple who balance idealism with humanity. As a couple, they are gracious company, hospitable and generous, but they also need time to be alone with each other as a couple. They have a mutual love of nature and animals that may bring them closer together, as well as their love of their children and family. Nines soothe Ones, while Ones remind Nines to strive for excellence.

The bolded bits are most accurate IME.

It is difficult for Nines to step up to the plate and take the level of responsibility that Ones are looking for. The more Ones push Nines to respond in the way they want, the less Nines are willing and able to do so, and they retreat into more widespread passive-aggressive behavior. To Ones, this feels like willful resistance and culpable negligence. The quiet indifference of the Nine only infuriates the One all the more. In short, it is difficult for Ones to respect Nines, just as it is difficult for Nines to feel comfortable with (and able to express themselves to) Ones. Ones eventually become more self-righteous and intolerant while Nines become more uncommunicative and stubbornly unresponsive

.

Yes.

[Dioklecian]

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/compatibility.asp

Dmitry what is your opinion of the enneagram?

[Jarno]

that enneagram is nothing more than a pseudo-science type theory made to appear on the same page as horoscopes in a glossy magazine.

i can invent one in a minute: mean people / happy people / normal people.
There you got it, the Triagram :wink:

[Typeless Wonder]

It is difficult for Nines to step up to the plate and take the level of responsibility that Ones are looking for. The more Ones push Nines to respond in the way they want, the less Nines are willing and able to do so, and they retreat into more widespread passive-aggressive behavior. To Ones, this feels like willful resistance and culpable negligence. The quiet indifference of the Nine only infuriates the One all the more. In short, it is difficult for Ones to respect Nines, just as it is difficult for Nines to feel comfortable with (and able to express themselves to) Ones. Ones eventually become more self-righteous and intolerant while Nines become more uncommunicative and stubbornly unresponsive

Sounds very much like relations of benefit.

[redbaron]

What do you make of this?

http://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_marriages.html

Specifically, it says that marriages between a 4 female and a 9 male were the second most common from the sampling (and not necessarily the most successful, just the most common). When relating this to socionics, what types would those be? Would 4 be INFp? What are possible socionics correlations to the Enneagram 9?

I'm trying to figure out what could be the socionics intertype relationship between an enneagram 4 and 9. And I thought it was interesting also that it was more common for the 4 to be female and the 9 to be male.

[Search]

Hello all.

I have been looking at this chart with much curiosity for some time now. I have to say that I can come up with justified reasoning for most of the matches...
I have not seen anything similar to this (though I would like to see more opinion on it).

I have to say...the amazing part about this whole thing for me is I am most likely 5w4 and the one male in my life I would ever consider a truly and totally connected soulmate type is a 5w6. It is the most fluid relationship I had ever engaged in.

I wondered others thoughts on this.......

http://similarminds.com/idealtypes.html

[Orest Reinn]

1+9 = Lsi/esi+iei/sei - No
2+8 = Sei/ese+sle/see - No
3+7 = Lie/lse+iee/ile - No
4+6 = Iei/eie+??? - ???
5+5 = ... 10

[Ezra]

Tells me nothing I don't already know; that I should get with Twos.

[reyn_til_runa]

1+9 = Lsi/esi+iei/sei - No
2+8 = Sei/ese+sle/see - No
3+7 = Lie/lse+iee/ile - No
4+6 = Iei/eie+??? - ???
5+5 = ... 10

heh

im not sure if this is what you meant, but it does seem that, as a 5, another 5 is often appealing, at least initially. it is easier not to explain to people about detachment because being detached doesn't seem to make much sense in the context of attachment. and it is understandable that interest in a relationship would imply an interest in attachment.

[Joy]

I'm an 8, and while I think 2's are useful, but 1's are the most attractive to me in terms of relationships. I benefit more from a partner who will see to details and be fussy about making sure things are done right. I'm more of a long term strategist than someone who will pay a lot of attention to day to day stuff, so I need that. I also don't think a 2 would be inclined to stand up to me the right way.

6's seem to be most attractive to me in terms friendship. I'm not sure if I've ever been in a relationship with a 6 or not. If so, then the one I'm thinking of was a good match for me.

9's... I dunno, sounds like I might be tempted to bitch at him/her and tell him/her to grow some balls.

5's are easy enough to get along with. Too distant to have a serious relationship with though.

3's, 4's, 7's, and 8's could go either way in terms of friendship, but I can't see myself in a relationship with any of them (except maybe an 8? never tried it... see first paragraph). I don't respect insecure 8's that think the only way they can be free is to trample on and control others.

[aestrivex]

is it just me, or does this remind anybody of anything? (credit goes to salawa for first pointing this out)

These two types bring to each other complementary and reciprocal talents—just what the other needs but is not necessarily aware of. For instance, Enneagram Fives need to be more identified with their body and with their instinctive energy; they need to be more engaged with the practical world and to feel their own sense of power and capacity. They can learn these qualities from Eights. On the other hand, Eights need to be more thoughtful and aware of the impact of their actions on themselves and on their environment. They need to know more and to think of consequences more carefully before acting. Every action produces a reaction, and it is not necessarily the one that the Eight wants to happen. This kind of analytic foresight is something Eights can learn from Fives.

Besides these qualities, both Fives and Eights bring a common insistence on independence and non-interference from others. Both types are aware of boundaries and dislike intrusion. Both enjoy a good debate, and both admire someone who stands up for himself intellectually and/or physically. Both types feel like misfits and so they understand each other's emotional core, often in an unspoken way. Both types need personal space, but when they find each other, they can both show a surprising degree of need and vulnerability. They see the other person behind the defense, relating to each others' sense of dignity and hidden vulnerabilities. Both can be stoical toward their own suffering and unhappiness, with little or no self-pity. As a couple, they can bring power and depth, action and thoughtfulness, brilliance and brashness to their world. They are also the natural protectors and advisors of each other: Eights love to protect less tough Fives, and Fives help Eights recognize the subtleties for their plans and actions. These two types can therefore band together as a coalition of power and brains, a formidable combination.

[machintruc]

5's are easy enough to get along with. Too distant to have a serious relationship with though.

What do you think of Intimate Fives ?

[machintruc]

http://similarminds.com/idealtypes.html

This is a total n00bish chart.

Fives are quite cool, but I'm more attracted by Twos, because Twos are super fuckin' cool.

Tells me nothing I don't already know; that I should get with Twos.

I think you should get with Fours, because you find them inherently attractive.

If you were LSI, you'd be seeking for a Two.


But, it's normal to like Twos. Everyone that hate Twos should be considered mentally ill.

[Park]

I made a little graph to show my compatibility with each enneagram type.

• E1 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E2 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E3 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E4 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E5 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E6 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E7 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E8 : 0 |||||||||| 10
• E9 : 0 |||||||||| 10

This isn't definite, but it more or less shows how I see the potential for a quality relationship between me and each of the enneagram types.

[munenori2]

I like how you did this actually. Very graphy.

[strrrng]

4-7 duality ftw!!

[Soupman]

What enneagram types are compartible?
And which ones clash?
Is there any logic to it like with socionics?

[Roro]

http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...-Compatibility

[Beautiful sky]

Ugh

On the other hand, healthy Sevens feel that their emotional and physical needs are largely met by a healthy Two. The Two helps the Seven feel relaxed and fulfilled, reducing the temptation to wander.

Doesn't mention anything about autonomy :S

The Two and Seven combination can have a positive effect on people that is virtually unmatched by any other couple: they can be warm, welcoming and generous, making others feel loved and invited to the party.

This makes me want a healthy 7

[Kim]

Ugh



Doesn't mention anything about autonomy :S



This makes me want a healthy 7

Too late, Maritsa. You called us disgusting and now we don't want you anymore, healthy or not. Sorry Chica.

[Beautiful sky]

Too late, Maritsa. You called us disgusting and now we don't want you anymore, healthy or not. Sorry Chica.

No, it's never too late

besides, I said I didn't mean it

besides, I feel that loving feeling with you so

[Kim]

Ugh

Originally Posted by E
On the other hand, healthy Sevens feel that their emotional and physical needs are largely met by a healthy Two. The Two helps the Seven feel relaxed and fulfilled, reducing the temptation to wander.

Doesn't mention anything about autonomy :S

What do you mean?

[Kim]

What enneagram types are compartible?
And which ones clash?
Is there any logic to it like with socionics?

I quite like the e-relationship descriptions. They work for me, anyway (but I find it more difficult to figure out someone's enneagram type than his/her socionics type).

[Beautiful sky]

I quite like the e-relationship descriptions. They work for me, anyway (but I find it more difficult to figure out someone's enneagram type than his/her socionics type).

what e type is your man?

[Park]

what e type is your man?

Untypable.

[FoxOnStilts]

Enneagram is a very personal and very negative system. It's about self-improvement and doesn't have anything to do with anyone except individuals. It's not meant to be used for relationship compatibility. You might be able to say "x type might like *something* in y type", but there are no hard-and-fast. For instance, most sites that try to make some sort of comparison say that 7s go fantastically with 3s or 2s. I cannot stand 3s, and couldn't be in a relationship with a 2 no matter how healthy.

It's a lot more personal. For instance, I know I get alone well with 1s, 4s, and 9s. Does that mean every 7 will? By no means. It's just my personal preference. I'm sure other 7s would get along great with 3s, 8s, or 2s.

If you're looking for compatibility, stick with socionics. If you want to have an idea of what you can expect from a certain person/type or how you can improve your personal well-being, then enneagram is the right system for you to be looking at.

[lagerdemon]

If you're looking for compatibility, stick with socionics. If you want to have an idea of what you can expect from a certain person/type or how you can improve your personal well-being, then enneagram is the right system for you to be looking at.

Pshh... if you're looking for compatibility get to know an individual, not a type.

[Beautiful sky]

Pshh... if you're looking for compatibility get to know an individual, not a type.

People ultimately come to accept the person for who that person is regardless of type. Knowing a person's type doesn't mean you won't like them, it just means that that you can't expect them to give you something they can't. Take a couple who walked into our office with a hurt cat; the gf came up to me (sensing that I am a compassionate person) asked me "would you please give my bf moral support? I don't know how to do this" she sat there on the bench away from him and couldn't say or do anything to comfort him.

I did sit with the bf and looked at him cry and get nervous about having possibly hurt his cat. He did receive support and comfort from me. No matter how much he likes his gf, she won't be able to do what I can.

[FoxOnStilts]

Pshh... if you're looking for compatibility get to know an individual, not a type.

If you're looking for a system that describes compatibility*

[FDG]

Generally speaking, the same outlook triads (reactive, competency and positive) are compatible.

[FoxOnStilts]

I'm a 7 dating a 4 and it is usually the "good" life. relatively.

[BigBaddaBoom]

I've always enjoyed the company of 3w4s and 8w7s.

[FDG]

My best friend is 1w9, then another very close friend is 9w1 and my girlfriend is 9w1 too. I also get along well with other 7s except if there's any kind of power imbalance. Generally my 1 friend is great for doing anything together, we are actually not that different in our free time except that he complains a lot about everything.

Supervisory relationship I get along best with 1s (seems strange, but they like that I'm a bit light hearthed but still focussed and proactive, and I like that they take care of the details). Get along the least with 8s and 3s.

[Kim]

I've considered 4w5 for Park, but we don't really know each other very well, so my opinion is w/e.

I was sure about 4w5 for the longest time, but there is a pretty pronounced preoccupation with perfectionism and integrity and some other things that really suggest 1w9. Maybe I should dig up what I found yesterday regarding what 1s and 4s find annoying about 7s. That might shed some light.

[MisterNi]

Socionics isn't the only typology theory with predictions on relationships among types. MBTI has Typelogic.com if you're familiar with the site and the Enneagram Institute has a handy compatibility matrix.

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/matrix.asp

Enjoy.

[GuavaDrunk]

It says we need to make babies and abandon them. What do you think of clay? Also, how fucking dare you steal my limelight?

[FDG]

Ennegramm compatibility in a nutshell: a given type goes well with a type pertaining to the same harmonic triad (reactive-competency-positive outlook). It seems to match my observations, more or less, although deviations are very very common.

Mostly it seems like reactives don't go well with positive-outlook types, at all. Competency with positive outlook seems fine, as well as reactive with competency, I believe.

[WVBRY]

Mostly it seems like reactives don't go well with positive-outlook types, at all.

This is true, in my experience. They need me to be positive and see the bright side of things when a misunderstanding occurs, which is precisely what Im incapable of doing when a crisis happens, and I need them to parasphrase what Im saying and what concerns me, which of course I can keep dreaming they will do.