Ni sympathy thread (beware!)
To emotionally resonate with something, suddenly my doubts are silenced but only by [in the creation/process of] creating more. How ironic and temporary. There's a difference between being shot and then falling face-first on to grainy gravel and being shot and then falling face-first on to a velvet couch. I know this but when I try to express it my tongue instinctively curls and won't let the words out of my mouth. Suddenly I realize that they're not words, they were never words, just images that know no reality beyond the confines of my mind. Then they're fading... Now they're gone. Some people seem smart because they're quiet so you can't hear how stupid they really are. Sometimes I make people believe I'm innocent by directly admitting that I'm not. There's something inherently innocent about that. But who am I trying to convince? You don't understand? Aww... that's so cute: to think that I actually care. Don't you see? It's about me, it's always about me, I usually just don't know it yet.