From my experience with an ISTj lab specialist, he has specific ways for people to do things. I forget easily, so I'm constantly asking questions. And he doesn't mind answering them. I even ask the same question again when the situation has barely changed and he gladly gives me the same answer just as happily as if I had never asked about it in the first place. A couple of times he has had a blaming look like I should know something already or that I should have noticed something and then I'll get very worried that I don't learn fast enough - he notices my distress and teaches me the same thing again. (I guess that's what PotatoSpirit meant by looking ashamed and sorry). It doesn't feel like he's demanding that much of me, because when I show him that I tried to do exactly like he said but I failed, I'll feel inadequate for failing and he immidiately changes his attitude from strict to friendly. He wants everything to go as he plans, but when he sees that it's emotionally hurting someone, he'll realize that he's demanding too much. (I guess that's what PotatoSpirit meant about forgiving many things for Fe).
It is very important to show the ISTj that you REALLY try to do everything according to her charts and procedures. Give your best and don't worry about asking lots of questions. She'll apprechiate the effort and respect you for giving your best.