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Thread: What do you think of this, Deltas?

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    Default What do you think of this, Deltas?

    You have to trust yourself, first of all, to be strong at the core. If you understand that then you will know your own ability to bounce back from anything, and then you will be free to love as deeply and as truly as it is possible to love.

    In life you will get hurt. It is not that you may but that you will. If you are living your life in a way that is worthwhile then you will cry and your heart will break from time to time. But you have to be willing to experience the lows if you want to live the highs. And always remember that you will bounce back in the end, stronger and more resilient than before. Your conscious mind will lose sight of this when you are in the depths of despair, and that is well and even necessary if you are going to really experience yourself, but your inner mind will know that, as has been said elsewhere, “this too shall pass.” Trust that, trust yourself, let go, and live.

    You’ve got to understand your strength if you want to really live, and to really live you’ve got to really love… to do which, of course, you have to make yourself vulnerable to the most cutting pain there is. Know that it is a possibility that you will be hurt – that your heart will be wounded or even thrown away by another – and accept it. Then go forward anyway. It is what you are here to do. And no lasting harm is done by your opening yourself in this way. Indeed, you do only good to and for those to whom you open your heart and give your love.


    I'm curious to see what Deltas - and non-Deltas, actually - will think about the ideas and sort of philosophy of this... Do you like it? Hate it? Agree? Disagree? Why?
    Last edited by female; 11-08-2009 at 02:44 PM.

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    tereg's Avatar
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    I absolutely agree with this. This lies at the crux of the stuff I'm going through though. I agree that to reach maximum potential, to be able to live freely and in a worthwhile way starts with a fundamental belief and trust in your abilities, talents and self. And from that, the other things naturally follow suit.

    This, however, is the thing that I'm too afraid to embrace. The bottom line is that I don't feel like I can trust myself. I've been able to identify this issue for quite a while now, and I have identified it as a pitfall that holds me back from achievement, love, freedom, etc. Despite the statement urging the reader to embrace it, and despite the fact that I agree with its premises and even have experienced that small inner voice that somehow knows that the pain is temporary, I'm just flat out afraid of being vulnerable like that.

    Sure, I have in brief instances in my past been vulnerable. And perhaps in those instances, I experienced growth or reward or whatever -- something positive. But there's this... thing, this concept that outweighs those benefits in my mind. It's a mitigation of sorts where I trade safety and familiarity in favor of reaching maximum potential and freedom.

    I have made a diagram to illustrate this



    The black lines represent the maximum potential that I have, both in the highest highs and the lowest lows in life. So, in order to reach the highest potential, I have to be willing to accept some very low lows. But, instead what I do is I sacrifice the highest high in order to avoid the lowest low, leaving me in this "safe" middle ground. I know that in doing this, I will never reach the highest high if I never accept the lowest low. And this the crux of where my core ambivalence lies. One part of me is fine being in this restricted safe ground, but at the same time knowing that I could be so much better than that but unwilling to do that because I have to first fundamentally accept going through these low lows.

    Sure, I have experienced brief instances in my life where I took some risks, and usually in those instances I experience early success. But despite the successes, I halt the process because I know that an impending downswing is inevitable. So, instead of taking more risks, I stop I basically I cut my gains.

    It is risk aversion and risk mitigation. It is a fundamental fear of complete failure. It is a lack of trust that after complete failure that I will rise above it. I do not trust my ability to press on after a complete failure.

    Why do I believe this? Because I believe that I have a propensity to quit in the face of adversity. No, I don't always quit, but I have allowed it to happen in lesser situations enough for me to consider it a serious issue.

    Let me frame this another way. If I were to lose everything right now, my car, my apartment, my belongings, my job, I'm not confident that I would make it. I don't believe myself to have the makeup of a person that fights and claws and scraps and does everything it takes to survive. I just don't believe I have that instinct.

    In any case, yes, I agree with the statement completely, but I don't believe that I can do it.




    (Sidenote: You can probably tell I've given this topic a lot of thought over the years, right?)
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    I don't disagree with that, although it's a bit more flowery than I'd say it.


    I like how Rocky says it as well.

    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Also, personally, the more grounded and sure of myself I really am, the less I'm swayed by emotional things, by insecurity, by fear. Seeking spiritual truth in that way takes out a lot of negativity.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire View Post
    EDIT: I hope this doesn't sound preachy or anything... it isn't meant that way; this is just something I've been thinking about a lot lately....
    Not at all. I loved it.
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    Well that sounds more like a Beta/Fe thing to me. It's like when you have hit "rock bottom" and you can't sink any further. That seems to be a fairly prevalent theme in Beta "emoness"... (you have nothing to lose but everything to gain) I would agree with it... but I feel like I've already heard something similar about a million times so it seems a little bit cliche to me.

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    I definitely like the ideas in the original post. And I also like that Rocky speech. You just gotta live, even though to live is to hurt at times.
    Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)

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    I think the quote is inspirational, but I don't agree with lines such as "you’ve got to understand your strength if you want to really live, and to really live you’ve got to really love." It seems too conclusive. Then you have someone else tell you something different than this, and claim that it's the truth. Sometimes people think too much, and that's my problem most of the time. It's like you try to think of a solution to a problem, whose only solution is action without thought. I have a practical solution: go jog and have a meditation session where you focus on having a blank mind. Works every time . De-complicating yourself is hard though, a work in progress.

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    Non-delta opinion: I think that for the most part that is "right on." And the Rocky video thing too, which I'm not watching again right now but I do remember it from the last time someone posted it. I also remember that I felt kind of resistant about it and about similar messages (though not the OP one because it isn't accusing me of not living my life, etc. ). Anyway this thread reminded me of my resent realization that a lot of times if people get on my case about not living my life or making poor choices in favor of laziness and self-indulgence, it stings so much because I know they're right. So then of course if I admit to myself that I agree with them then I have to face the shame that would arise in my mind afterward and so I run from them because I'm running from my own shame. I'm much more willing to entertain the little voice that I don't listen to that often tells me I'm wasting time, wasting my life, and about the things I need to do and about how there is still a lot of time to turn it all around, miraculously. I like this voice because it offers solace to the other voice that speaks in panic because it sees the time winding down and it knows how grave the situation is.

    I also really agree with what Lobo just said about the gap between knowledge and action. I constantly think about my problems looking for an answer when I know the only answer is in actual action. It's only part of the trap of doing nothing all the time. All of the greatest advice on the planet, all of the possibilities about what I could do, etc. mean nothing because I don't act on them, not even on the ones that I agree with and think are good ideas. The future is always far away and it is where all of the "someday I will do that"s reside and it can always be pushed further back and delayed, until of course I really am out of time.

    Anyway to reiterate I think that opening post is pretty much something that I see as true and important. But I'm still being a hypocrite in saying that because I'm still not doing what it says to do.

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    I liked it

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    It sounds more like a human issue than any particularly quadra. I don't think I'd ever say something like that paragraph, though, as it does sound incredibly harsh even if it's realistic

    It goes back to the idea of sacrifice, as in, if you want __ you will have to accept the consequences. Some people will take the middle road and live happily, others will be disappointed that they didn't take a chance. Just as some will take a risk and be rewarded by the effort, while others will wish they hadn't. Than you have another group who will succeed and find out that they're not fulfilled by the results.

    So, in order to reach the highest potential, I have to be willing to accept some very low lows. But, instead what I do is I sacrifice the highest high in order to avoid the lowest low, leaving me in this "safe" middle ground. I know that in doing this, I will never reach the highest high if I never accept the lowest low. And this the crux of where my core ambivalence lies. One part of me is fine being in this restricted safe ground, but at the same time knowing that I could be so much better than that but unwilling to do that because I have to first fundamentally accept going through these low lows.
    This is good
    Last edited by Marie84; 11-09-2009 at 05:37 PM.
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    I like it. strongly reflects my own personal philosphy. Basically, trust yourself and your actions and that at any given moment you are making the best decsions you can. Be strong and accept the highs and the lows of life and learn from them, seek wisdom and alance and harmony and all the good stuff, but live and don't be afraid of living. And love, do everything with love.

    A friend of mine (an ILI if anyone is interested) came out with a saying I liked recently.

    "You gotta go through the shit for the shit to happen"

    Thinking about it, I'm not too sure what he meant by this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    A friend of mine (an ILI if anyone is interested) came out with a saying I liked recently.

    "You gotta go through the shit for the shit to happen"

    Thinking about it, I'm not too sure what he meant by this.
    He was, less articulately, getting at something his dual said:

    Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.

    Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens.

    You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother.
    Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
    If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.

    ~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
    ~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.

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    Hello...? somavision's Avatar
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    True -

    Only problem is I can't get the image of him and Sly spooning out of my head.

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