Failed Dual Relationships

[HitmanISTP]

x

[implied]

all members of said quadra then? so frinstance all betas and gammas would seek revenge?

I think revenge, specifically, is much more a Gamma thing than even Beta, due to the + block.

But as you know, in socionics it's not so much "all types this or that" etc -- it's general trends.

i think, so, too. although i believe there are some deltas (ESTjs for example) who can be quite revenge-seeking.

i am going out with an infp right now....after the "revenge" of my estp ex husband, i am looking to avoid seekers of revenge in the future.

that didn't seem like "revenge" on his part as much as just sheer assholery.

[Expat]

that didn't seem like "revenge" on his part as much as just sheer assholery.

Yeah.

[meatburger]

Well, and how long were you together? Several months, right? And he spent all this time with a girl he wasn't attracted to? Rubbish. If true - which almost certainly it is not - it tells more about him than about you. It's like the "we're not compatible" line preferred by women -- these are things that people say on such occasions. You must not let it get to you (I'm not saying it's easy).

Oooh. Good point Expat. I hadn't thought about it that way. Hmmm...

I wouldn't be surprised if he aleady had a girl in mind to date when he broke up with me. I'll do my best to not let it get me down.

Thanks again you guys. Your comments have been encouraging.

You sound really sweet Elizabeth. Just thank your lucky stars hes gone because now youve seen his true colours. I can often contemplate revenge but im can never actually do it.

[Sorc]

As for me i once messed up and was really, intuitionally , without knowing socionics with ISTp that i projected my ideal of ISTj on her (again w/o knowing socionics but thats what it was)

We had sex at 2nd day we met and it was amazing 1st days then it was strange , i was bit reserved at some situations cause was feeling strange, then she dissapeared for 3 weeks. I alled her , and stuff and called. and though about mistakes in 1st days. after it that i told her " it will not go well, you're very good girl but i feeling those relationships will not go "
I will not describe it in details, but it was fucking strange .. whole situation

Time passed we almost not seen each other and i had hard period, I also after it was in guilty and tried to work with my self, i had some guilty...

after i had occassional "tryes" with few females (1-2 days and i ws sure its shit) and then i had more 1 strong relationship whis is also failed (it was ISFj/ISFp this time). It was hard period. ISFj/ISFp was good but...
After ISFj/ISFp stuff ended i was kinda broken. I was living in illusinary/revisory for 1+ year with very intence contact seeng parter each day alot of time living in small flat. I was mentally broken..... Some time passed and i remembered of her (ISTP - which i though she ISTj)

But being ENFj i believed she is my ideal.... and i got call from her 2 years after i told her 1st time "it will not go"

after that call it took me more 0.5 years to think about it.
I believed and now just think what is for ENFj this situation. I thought about her those 2.5 years and i also believed she is my ideal, more even , i was feeling guilty about me acting as moron and pushing her out of me.

Well fuck all that situation later almost became tragedy.
I came with guilty to her and stated persuading her. After it it was exactly as expat discribed in ENFj - ISTp thread in relations forum.
but with my 2.5 years of belief - those 2.5 years came to me and belive me i had very hard period those 2.5 years.
Day by day it was more and more surprising how she acts and that is not definitely what i was believing too.
Well then its long story...

After it i got my soul hurt and i was almost cursing her as ENFj can...
She was not even polite for all that things i passed , she even offended me , humilated and then i saw with my old ex-freind who revealed to be fucking jerk. I wanted to broke his head but i calmed down.

I am 1.5 y w/o relationships after that (4+ total) and still chewing it, and little by little warming up to be able to project love i should project.

She did wrong for herself mostly and i at end tryed to warn her, i believe in karma but i wish ... i wish it will go avay and we both will have different, not meeting happy lives....

Sory for some explicit.

ps: i know about socionics for about a year.

Moral: sometimes you can mistake / project image / not being realistic enough / think to much / being fooled.
Take care about how you feel and its for you more and not about socionics when things hot. You are human 1st at all.

Cheers.

[Ms. Kensington]

is english not your first language? It sounds different than a native english speaker, but I still couldn't stop reading it.

[Blaze]

is english not your first language? It sounds different than a native english speaker, but I still couldn't stop reading it.

yeah, what she said.

[Jimbean]

The dual relationship I was in ended just recently and that was because he hopes to find someone more attractive.

wow! what an asshole

[aka-kitsune]

I have casually dated an ESTp that did not work out because he was far too possessive and clingy. Two traits that I absolutely cannot tolerate.

I'm afraid the first one of the two is rather widespread in the ESTp population, unless suppressed (with consequent blowups of anger).

ESTps are clingy? I always was (angrily, I might add) accused of being the clingy one by them! Which was always baffling, since I'm almost compulsively driven to not be needy.

Ah... they must have been projecting, then. Hmm... interesting...

[Slacker]

I think some of these judgments (clingy, high maintenance, etc.) might be more about the relationship than the type. Like my ENTj ex-bf used to call me high maintenance all the time, so I figured I just was. Then, I wanted my husband to help me with something at some point and I apologized for being high maintenance, and he said, "High maintenance? Why do you think you're high maintenance?" I wanted lots of Si and the ISTp gives that easily and naturally but it wasn't something the ENTj could give me at all. So ISTp doesn't find me to be high maintenance but ENTj did.

Clingy is the same thing - if someone is wanting a lot of Fi, or Fe, or whatever function they want, and you don't have it to give, you might find that person to be clingy. But to someone who has lots of Fi or Fe to give, that person wouldn't seem clingy at all.

[bendertheoffender]

Hi,

Failed dual relationships are not surprise, when one is mentally impaired.

Simplest example: emotional deregulation.
If one fail to control his emotions, he/she can`t
establish any proper relationship.
And dualized dual wont help ya
Only some serious drugs

[Red Sky]

As for me i once messed up and was really, intuitionally , without knowing socionics with ISTp that i projected my ideal of ISTj on her (again w/o knowing socionics but thats what it was)

We had sex at 2nd day we met and it was amazing 1st days then it was strange , i was bit reserved at some situations cause was feeling strange, then she dissapeared for 3 weeks. I alled her , and stuff and called. and though about mistakes in 1st days. after it that i told her " it will not go well, you're very good girl but i feeling those relationships will not go "
I will not describe it in details, but it was fucking strange .. whole situation

Time passed we almost not seen each other and i had hard period, I also after it was in guilty and tried to work with my self, i had some guilty...

after i had occassional "tryes" with few females (1-2 days and i ws sure its shit) and then i had more 1 strong relationship whis is also failed (it was ISFj/ISFp this time). It was hard period. ISFj/ISFp was good but...
After ISFj/ISFp stuff ended i was kinda broken. I was living in illusinary/revisory for 1+ year with very intence contact seeng parter each day alot of time living in small flat. I was mentally broken..... Some time passed and i remembered of her (ISTP - which i though she ISTj)

But being ENFj i believed she is my ideal.... and i got call from her 2 years after i told her 1st time "it will not go"

after that call it took me more 0.5 years to think about it.
I believed and now just think what is for ENFj this situation. I thought about her those 2.5 years and i also believed she is my ideal, more even , i was feeling guilty about me acting as moron and pushing her out of me.

Well fuck all that situation later almost became tragedy.
I came with guilty to her and stated persuading her. After it it was exactly as expat discribed in ENFj - ISTp thread in relations forum.
but with my 2.5 years of belief - those 2.5 years came to me and belive me i had very hard period those 2.5 years.
Day by day it was more and more surprising how she acts and that is not definitely what i was believing too.
Well then its long story...

After it i got my soul hurt and i was almost cursing her as ENFj can...
She was not even polite for all that things i passed , she even offended me , humilated and then i saw with my old ex-freind who revealed to be fucking jerk. I wanted to broke his head but i calmed down.

I am 1.5 y w/o relationships after that (4+ total) and still chewing it, and little by little warming up to be able to project love i should project.

She did wrong for herself mostly and i at end tryed to warn her, i believe in karma but i wish ... i wish it will go avay and we both will have different, not meeting happy lives....

Sory for some explicit.

ps: i know about socionics for about a year.

Moral: sometimes you can mistake / project image / not being realistic enough / think to much / being fooled.
Take care about how you feel and its for you more and not about socionics when things hot. You are human 1st at all.

Cheers.

That sucks, I have gone to things similar to yours and I hate to say that I had very similar reactions to what you did. Sometimes I really hate being an ENFj and myself in general for being such a moron.

[Sorc]

That sucks, I have gone to things similar to yours and I hate to say that I had very similar reactions to what you did. Sometimes I really hate being an ENFj and myself in general for being such a moron.

But sometimes, other day, You understand that in some moments you acted really good, and was moron to think that you was acting as moron

was good
though that was moron
was moron to think that was moron
was moron to think about that moron shit over and over again..
moron failure cascade..
(joke, at least partially)

btw Red Sky i think we are same subtype too, cause from all forum members i feel most similarity and identity with you than other members...

[Red Sky]

That sucks, I have gone to things similar to yours and I hate to say that I had very similar reactions to what you did. Sometimes I really hate being an ENFj and myself in general for being such a moron.

But sometimes, other day, You understand that in some moments you acted really good, and was moron to think that you was acting as moron

was good
though that was moron
was moron to think that was moron
was moron to think about that moron shit over and over again..
moron failure cascade..
(joke, at least partially)

btw Red Sky i think we are same subtype too, cause from all forum members i feel most similarity and identity with you than other members...

Thats funny, I tend to rethink my situations too, sometimes I blame myself sometimes I say it was her fault, but without a doubt I am never consistant with my thoughts. Pershaps we are the same personality, I do tend to agree with a lot of things you say.

[FDG]

was good
though that was moron
was moron to think that was moron
was moron to think about that moron shit over and over again..
moron failure cascade..
(joke, at least partially)

rooootfl

[lefty]

Hi,

Failed dual relationships are not surprise, when one is mentally impaired.

Simplest example: emotional deregulation.
If one fail to control his emotions, he/she can`t
establish any proper relationship.
And dualized dual wont help ya
Only some serious drugs

This actually describes the biggest problem i've had with an istj. since his emotions are less conscious i dont think he knows what to do with them and its a pain in the ass.