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Thread: Semi-duality Relations: Stories & Experiences

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    Quote Originally Posted by somavision View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What have your experiences been like in semi-duality relationships?
    Very good.




    Occasional POLR requests, not really an issue as base function can usually make up for most limitations in this repect.


    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    How do you feel about this intertype relationship long term?
    Very Good.
    Essentially exactly my experience with my semi-dual boyfriend.
    ILE
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    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What have your experiences been like in semi-duality relationships?
    I haven't had a long-term semi-duality relationship. I've dated a SEE guy and after a while we decided that we'd be better off as friends. Overall was fun but the chemistry just wasn't there.


    Feels a bit more like friendship than a relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    How do you feel about this intertype relationship long term?
    Has good potential of working out. I believe it is ranked just slightly lower than intra-quadra relationships. One of the couples in my extended family is a LIE-EII couple and they have been together for over 30 years. I have visited them on a few occasions and as far as I could intuit they are pretty happy together and doing well.
    I agree with you. It does feel a lot more like friendship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    We've had some sort of poll about relationship rankings.

    For some people, semi duality scored second place, but usually around 6th.

    So I guess it's kind of good, if you don't go for duality.

    What my experience is is that the attraction is fast among duality partners, a relationship is quickly established.
    Do you remember what the title of the poll thread was?

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    My parents are semi-duals: SEI/IEE (I had previously typed my mom EII rather than IEE but I do think she's IEE). It's fine at first, but over time there is grating on each other. My mother needs Te, my father cannot provide this. Alternatively, my father needs Ti and my mother has nothing there. So... they struggle a bit. Also, it's pretty clear that my mom doesn't appreciate creative Fe too much. She can participate, if in the right mood but grows weary of it very quickly.

    oh, I should add: they've been married since 1969 but considered divorce on 2 or three occasions, one of them being very seriously close to it. They're not soul-mates or anything but it could be worse. lol
    I agree with this. I'm very close to a semi-dual. For the most part things run smoothly but sometimes I really, really need some Ti with that Se, and it's nowhere to be found. I'm sure they would appreciate some Te as well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    We've had some sort of poll about relationship rankings.

    For some people, semi duality scored second place, but usually around 6th.

    So I guess it's kind of good, if you don't go for duality.

    What my experience is is that the attraction is fast among duality partners, a relationship is quickly established.
    Do you remember what the title of the poll thread was?
    I made the thread about 2 or 3 years ago. So it might be only visible on the other version of this forum idk.

    The most likely title for the thread would be: Ranking of relationships

    The most striking thing about that thread was that many people put Identical not in the top 5.

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    Also, quadra differences.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    I really really like SEIs and could be happy long term with one with no problem. The only issue would be that practical matters (Te stuff) wouldn't be handled and that would bother me.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    It could be a pretty good relationship as long as both people had DS support from other people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker View Post
    I really really like SEIs and could be happy long term with one with no problem. The only issue would be that practical matters (Te stuff) wouldn't be handled and that would bother me.
    oh gosh yeah. you have no idea. I mean, my poor mother! My dad is sweet and funny and great. emotionally interesting, etc but it's been a long hard road of practical.... um, disabilities, shall we say.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    From my experience, they are very good, but on the long run there's maybe a lack of motivation. My longest relationship so far was with my Semi-Dual, I almost can see no difference between SLI and SEI in daily life, but in my case I was bothered by the lack of passion, drive and meaningful interests.

    In theory, Schizotim Semi-Dual relationships should IMO be way more successful than Cyclotim ones, although more formal. I don't remember examples IRL right now, apart for an aunt and uncle, I'm not very sure about their types, but I think she is LSE and he is ESI, they get along very well, not my kind, but I could say that their family life is a model. I lived with them when we were in holydays at my grandma for the summer and witnessed their daily life, they have absolutely no serious issue.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ineffable View Post
    From my experience, they are very good, but on the long run there's maybe a lack of motivation. My longest relationship so far was with my Semi-Dual, I almost can see no difference between SLI and SEI in daily life, but in my case I was bothered by the lack of passion, drive and meaningful interests.

    In theory, Schizotim Semi-Dual relationships should IMO be way more successful than Cyclotim ones, although more formal. I don't remember examples IRL right now, apart for an aunt and uncle, I'm not very sure about their types, but I think she is LSE and he is ESI, they get along very well, not my kind, but I could say that their family life is a model. I lived with them when we were in holydays at my grandma for the summer and witnessed their daily life, they have absolutely no serious issue.
    What do you mean by "Schizotim" and "Cyclotim"? Thanks

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What do you mean by "Schizotim" and "Cyclotim"? Thanks
    The J types and P types.
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ineffable View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What do you mean by "Schizotim" and "Cyclotim"? Thanks
    The J types and P types.
    Oh okay

    I think these relationships are generally great and easy to start (and continue). There is a lot of warmth, attraction, and comfort there. However, I think when both partners are Feelers there is greater strain and less of a realistic balance (similar to what your experiences have been, rebaron) which can really wear on the relationship over time. It can sometimes turn into a fight of whose feelings matter more.

    With SEE-IEI, I've noticed that sometimes I really need blunt honesty about myself/behavior/personality to feel like I have a grasp of where I'm standing (the Ti and Se I would get from a dual), but the SEE will sugar coat things too much to preserve your feelings (or boost your confidence) and not be able to do this. I will even directly ask them to please, set aside my feelings, and be honest, and I can still tell they are smoothing things over as much as possible. It is something I struggle with too (for the same reasons, ie. not wanting to hurt or upset the other person).

    This is one of the things I've found I needed the most that an SEE can't (usually) give, and only until I keep asking and end up frustrating the SEE will they say how they really feel (which is frustrating for both of us). I find myself needing someone that can be more upfront about my flaws so that I know what I need to work on, and SEE's are usually very non-confrontational and will avoid any form of upsetting people (even if they outright request honesty) as much as possible.

    I wonder what SEE's would say on the opposite side of the spectrum. What they think is the biggest issue in relationships with IEI's.

    Otherwise, like I said, this is a great relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Ineffable View Post
    The J types and P types.
    Oh okay
    My idea is that the Schizotims conflict on their S/N functions in Semi-Duality, and also they're more stable, purposeful in working things out. Now there are other factors determinig this, besides the personal particularities/education, for instance Gamma Cyclotims would IMO easier try to work out a convenience/interest relationship than the others.
    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    With SEE-IEI, I've noticed that sometimes I really need blunt honesty about myself/behavior/personality to feel like I have a grasp of where I'm standing (the Ti and Se I would get from a dual), but the SEE will sugar coat things too much to preserve your feelings (or boost your confidence) and not be able to do this. I will even directly ask them to please, set aside my feelings, and be honest, and I can still tell they are smoothing things over as much as possible. It is something I struggle with too (for the same reasons, ie. not wanting to hurt or upset the other person).

    This is one of the things I've found I needed the most that an SEE can't (usually) give, and only until I keep asking and end up frustrating the SEE will they say how they really feel (which is frustrating for both of us). I find myself needing someone that can be more upfront about my flaws so that I know what I need to work on, and SEE's are usually very non-confrontational and will avoid any form of upsetting people (even if they outright request honesty) as much as possible.
    That makes total sense! It's basically a Fe-Creative counterpart of what I experienced (of Ti-Creative), I'd say.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    It could be a pretty good relationship as long as both people had DS support from other people.
    Since no one bothered correcting me on this. It's obviously HA, not DS. Am I writing to a blank audience or something?

    IEE Ne Creative Type

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    It could be a pretty good relationship as long as both people had DS support from other people.
    Since no one bothered correcting me on this. It's obviously HA, not DS. Am I writing to a blank audience or something?
    What did you mean originally by DS support? I'm sorry, I meant to ask you about that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    Since no one bothered correcting me on this. It's obviously HA, not DS. Am I writing to a blank audience or something?
    Sorry I didn't read that carefully, I misread like from "the others" (understanding the Semi-Duals).
    ---

    @Clumsy: DS (Dual-Seeking) is a fancy name of the Suggestive function, the compatible IE (Information Element) of the Base one, which is the Base of one's Dual. For instance, you got Ni-Base, your DS is your Se-Suggestive, because your Dual has Se as Base.
    The same goes for HA (Hidden Aggenda), it is the Mobilising, compatible with one's Creative. Your Fe-Creative -> HA = your Ti-Mobilizing -> your Dual Ti-Creative.
    Both are in the Super-Id, the block containing the IEs the Dual has in it's Ego.

    Okay, visual example, [Ego][Super-Id] blocks = [Base Creative][Suggestive(DS) Mobilizing(HA)] functions:
    - you: [][]
    - your Dual: [][]
    - your Semi-Dual: [][]
    - your Illusionary: [][]

    With your Dual you match in both Base and Creative functions; with your Semi-Dual you match in Base functions; with your Illusionary you match in Creative functions.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What have your experiences been like in semi-duality relationships?
    Very comfortable and relaxing, hardly any day to day misunderstandings, no arguments or fights

    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What are the biggest problems that arise?
    Sexual incompatibility. When it comes to sex, I'd definitively prefer mirage relationships, but apart from sex, you can't really live with your mirage.

    ETA: also, don't expect you can work together on building a common future. Long-term attitudes towards anything in this respect will be completely different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    How do you feel about this intertype relationship long term?
    It's doable, I think.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What have your experiences been like in semi-duality relationships?
    Very comfortable and relaxing, hardly any day to day misunderstandings, no arguments or fights



    Sexual incompatibility. When it comes to sex, I'd definitively prefer mirage relationships, but apart from sex, you can't really live with your mirage.

    ETA: also, don't expect you can work together on building a common future. Long-term attitudes towards anything in this respect will be completely different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    How do you feel about this intertype relationship long term?
    It's doable, I think.
    You are so full of shit it hurts me.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    I get along fine with LIIs, but there is always a bit of tension; I'm a bit much for them sometimes. I like to act like a frat boy and push people around sometimes, and they and SEIs have a way of making me feel guilty about it without even saying anything. They are kind of needy and wimpy and they seem to require more attention than I can really give them without feeling resentful. I don't mind their company at all, in fact I usually start off with a strong attraction to them, but in closer interaction I can't really fully be myself around them l, else I risk peeving them and winding up feeling bad about myself.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    You are so full of shit it hurts me.
    Well, I can't help it if you're so sensitive, which must be the effect of you being a latent homosexual. Perhaps it's time for your coming out, so you won't be so sensitive any longer.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Or you could stop shooting shit out of your mouth so frequently that people mistake it for your ass. Did you even realize how blatantly you contradicted yourself in your response? I seriously think you probably don't even have much experience with semi duals and just threw a bunch of shit from descriptions together with your own spin on it. I'm pretty sure you should be euthanized, because it seems like there is no real meaning or happiness in your off-line life.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Or you could stop shooting shit out of your mouth so frequently that people mistake it for your ass. Did you even realize how blatantly you contradicted yourself in your response? I seriously think you probably don't even have much experience with semi duals and just threw a bunch of shit from descriptions together with your own spin on it. I'm pretty sure you should be euthanized, because it seems like there is no real meaning or happiness in your off-line life.
    Come on Gilly, what is your problem? Why are you so enraged? It certainly can't be me, I'm definitively not worth it to get so angry about every time I post here. If I am really wrong, you could simply think to yourself "ah, there is this silly CA again." But you don't, no, you get yourself worked up everytime instead. So I ask you again, what is your problem? And don't come around again saying it's me, I didn't do that much to deserve such credit.
    Last edited by consentingadult; 06-21-2011 at 06:30 PM.
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    The strong have made a point of culling the weak and the stupid from the beginning of time. I can see how that would feel like a problem to you.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    The strong have made a point of culling the weak and the stupid from the beginning of time. I can see how that would feel like a problem to you.
    For the sake of human race. I hope that the strong isnt in the form of narsistic asshole. In the end you will be punching eachother and fighting over who has the largest cock. Or something as petty just to gain upper hand on your fellow man.

    Disgraceful bitch

    Lol and oh yeah my balls are bigger than yours

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    Quote Originally Posted by NewBorn STAR View Post
    Lol and oh yeah my balls are bigger than yours
    then your penis has a higher chance of appearing smaller compared to his.

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    Quote Originally Posted by timewu View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NewBorn STAR View Post
    Lol and oh yeah my balls are bigger than yours
    then your penis has a higher chance of appearing smaller compared to his.
    I dont need my dick anywhere. When i have my balls as battering rams against any unsuspecting victim.

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    meow

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NewBorn STAR View Post
    For the sake of human race. I hope that the strong isnt in the form of narsistic asshole.
    Why thank you.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NewBorn STAR View Post
    For the sake of human race. I hope that the strong isnt in the form of narsistic asshole.
    Why thank you.
    You are welcome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What have your experiences been like in semi-duality relationships?
    Very comfortable and relaxing, hardly any day to day misunderstandings, no arguments or fights



    Sexual incompatibility. When it comes to sex, I'd definitively prefer mirage relationships, but apart from sex, you can't really live with your mirage.

    ETA: also, don't expect you can work together on building a common future. Long-term attitudes towards anything in this respect will be completely different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    How do you feel about this intertype relationship long term?
    It's doable, I think.
    Did you mean you can't work on a common future/have long term attitudes for Mirage or Semi-Dual? What makes you say this?

    Why do you believe you can't live with a Mirage?

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Ineffable View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post
    Since no one bothered correcting me on this. It's obviously HA, not DS. Am I writing to a blank audience or something?
    Sorry I didn't read that carefully, I misread like from "the others" (understanding the Semi-Duals).
    ---

    @Clumsy: DS (Dual-Seeking) is a fancy name of the Suggestive function, the compatible IE (Information Element) of the Base one, which is the Base of one's Dual. For instance, you got Ni-Base, your DS is your Se-Suggestive, because your Dual has Se as Base.
    The same goes for HA (Hidden Aggenda), it is the Mobilising, compatible with one's Creative. Your Fe-Creative -> HA = your Ti-Mobilizing -> your Dual Ti-Creative.
    Both are in the Super-Id, the block containing the IEs the Dual has in it's Ego.

    Okay, visual example, [Ego][Super-Id] blocks = [Base Creative][Suggestive(DS) Mobilizing(HA)] functions:
    - you: [][]
    - your Dual: [][]
    - your Semi-Dual: [][]
    - your Illusionary: [][]

    With your Dual you match in both Base and Creative functions; with your Semi-Dual you match in Base functions; with your Illusionary you match in Creative functions.
    Thank you! That makes a lot more sense now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    The strong have made a point of culling the weak and the stupid from the beginning of time. I can see how that would feel like a problem to you.
    Bullshit: it's plain narcissism you're acting out, the kind of infantile narcissism that has been rationalized by people such as Friedrich Nietzsche and Ayn Rand. That reference to strength you're referring to, is just to hide the fact that you are a loser who has not yet matured, and that it is actually you who is full of shit. And that. Mr. Gilly, is your problem! You don't fool me.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

  34. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    What have your experiences been like in semi-duality relationships?
    Disastrous. I've not been in one personally, but I suffered through my IEI best friend's relationship with a fantastic cunt of an SEE.

    What are the biggest problems that arise?
    Producing-function annoyance. He needed her to constantly show affection, and she frequently balked.

    How do you feel about this intertype relationship long term?
    Not very positive, as you can see.
    What do these signs mean—, , etc.? Why cannot socionists use symbols Ne, Ni etc. as in MBTI? Just because they have somewhat different meaning. Socionics and MBTI, each in its own way, have slightly modified the original Jung's description of his 8 psychological types. For this reason, (Ne) is not exactly the same as Ne in MBTI.

    Just one example: in MBTI, Se (extraverted sensing) is associated with life pleasures, excitement etc. By contrast, the socionic function (extraverted sensing) is first and foremost associated with control and expansion of personal space (which sometimes can manifest in excessive aagression, but often also manifests in a capability of managing lots of people and things).

    For this reason, we consider comparison between MBTI types and socionic types by functions to be rather useless than useful.

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  35. #195
    Samuel the Gabriel H. MisterNi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by MisterNi View Post

    Since no one bothered correcting me on this. It's obviously HA, not DS. Am I writing to a blank audience or something?
    What did you mean originally by DS support? I'm sorry, I meant to ask you about that.
    Yeah, DS is dual seeking, which if you're an IEI would be and your HA -- hidden agenda would be .

    IEE Ne Creative Type

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  36. #196
    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clumsy View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post

    Very comfortable and relaxing, hardly any day to day misunderstandings, no arguments or fights



    Sexual incompatibility. When it comes to sex, I'd definitively prefer mirage relationships, but apart from sex, you can't really live with your mirage.

    ETA: also, don't expect you can work together on building a common future. Long-term attitudes towards anything in this respect will be completely different.



    It's doable, I think.
    Did you mean you can't work on a common future/have long term attitudes for Mirage or Semi-Dual? What makes you say this?

    Why do you believe you can't live with a Mirage?
    It's not that extreme of course. But let me explain by means of an example: I'm in a relationship with an SEI (and I believe myself to be IEE). My GF is so stereotypical SEI with a big focus on her Si. By doing her own thing, she basically automatically takes care of my Si needs: she creates the physical kind of comfort I need, which relaxes me and satisfies me with that. But that is all very much aimed at the here and now. We can live together, but we can not grow together.

    In contrast, I have been in a relationship for a few years with an SLI woman. She was the one that motivated me to start my own business and also helped me with that, not in the least by making sure basic necessities were covered. Similar motivation I got from ILI women, but then on the day to day basics, these relationships typically made me angry and hostile (perhaps because of their Se seeking anf mi Si seeking)?

    Well I guess you can live with any type, provided you are willing to tolerate some level of stress. My life with an SEI is pretty much without stress, i.e. with her all other stressfull aspects of life are compensated, but at times I am worried about her short term life scope, like all improvements have to come from me. Which isn't the case, she's pefectly happy with how things are now. It is I who wants life to be an ever changing string of events.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

  37. #197
    Olimpia's Avatar
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    Semi-Duality romantic relationships can be like being in love with a mermaid.

    On some level, she's everything you've ever dreamed of (=Dual-seeking). On the other hand, she doesn't have any legs and inevitably won't ever be a part of your world (="half-dual", Quadra mismatch). There are certain things she'll never understand about or be able to do in your world, and vice versa (=PoLR problems).

    So as a whole, it can be a relationship with beautiful moments, but also with significant difficulties in-between.

    P.S: And no, differently from Disney's Little Mermaid, your Semi-Dual cannot actually get legs and turn into your Dual; but the expectation of that happening might always be in the back of your mind, or go away after several years of knowing the person. ;p
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  38. #198
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    I find that semi-dual relationships are, for the most part, excellent. What I find interesting is my apparent inability to read them; they seem to be able to pull the wool over my eyes so effortlessly while other types can't.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    One of my close friends is my semi-dual and I have a love-hate relationship with her.

    For one thing, she's an amazing friend. Truly caring, altruistic, can talk to her about anything. I often find her advice useful and her perspectives intellectually stimulating. But at the same time, she's quite smothering and needy. She constantly wants to talk, hang out, and seems to need endless reassurance which is annoying for me. It's usually her hitting me up, me taking years to respond, me feeling guilty about it, and then trying to appreciate her more. And then the cycle repeats. We truly are the moth and the flame.

    I also find she relies too heavily on her intuition and can be overly idealistic about people and relationships. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, just causes some clash between us since I'm more of a realist. As much as I love our deep talks, we don't share the same humor and hobbies, so hanging out with her can sometimes be dry and boring for me. After a few hours of hanging out, I'll already be dying to go home. In larger groups, her lack of Fe becomes quite glaring and I find it bothersome because she won't really notice when she disrupts the harmony. Might not be a big deal for some people, but small things like that can bother me.

    From my perspective, it's a good relationship for helping one another and intellectual stimulation, but there's a lack of true understanding. And the annoyances can be quite... well, annoying.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    I get along fine with LIIs, but there is always a bit of tension; I'm a bit much for them sometimes. I like to act like a frat boy and push people around sometimes, and they and SEIs have a way of making me feel guilty about it without even saying anything. They are kind of needy and wimpy and they seem to require more attention than I can really give them without feeling resentful. I don't mind their company at all, in fact I usually start off with a strong attraction to them, but in closer interaction I can't really fully be myself around them l, else I risk peeving them and winding up feeling bad about myself.
    This exactly mirrors my experience with EIEs. I like them a lot, but they can be loud / overbearing / materially driven, and if they aren't then their circle of friends may be.

    I've had some close and meaningful friendships with EIEs, in fact I think the person who introduced me to Islam was EIE. But none of these relationships ended up lasting.

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