I stumbled upon an post about Socionics "jokes"

[Joy]

Every new science, as usual, has three stages of development:
• this cannot be,
• there’s something in it,
• it is known to all.
And socionics, certainly, isn’t an exception. Having passed the first one with success, it hasn’t gained a foothold in the third stage yet. There is a set of various ways of the description 16 types.
I want to offer one more description - comic.
Socion JOKES
From G.Reinin's collection.
Socionics is a rather full, rather reconcilable description of human relations with the help of rather definite terms.

If Zhukov says “yes” he means “yes”.
If Zhukov says “no” he means “no”.
If Zhukov says “maybe” he is Don Quichote.
If Dreiser says “no” he means “maybe”.
If Dreiser says “maybe” he means “yes”.
If Dreiser says “yes” he is very tired.
If Don says “yes” he means “maybe”.
If Don says “maybe” he means “no”.
If Don says “no” he feels himself Caesar.

Tell me who your dual is I shall tell to you who are you.

If Zhukov remains silent for 3 minutes, it means he is numb, if 5 - it means he is dead.

Sawyer helps those who help themselves.

Brief characteristics:
Holmes - reliable, serious, practical.
Napoleon - practical, cheerful, unreliable.

It you want to be lost in crowd - pretend to be a Gabin.

Don is always hungry,
Dostoyevsky is always ill,
Zhukov is always Zhukov.

Introverted Don looks like Robespierre, extraverted – like a cock.
Between two Sawyers it’s not worth choosing.

Who does not know typology - does not know himself.
Who does not know himself - does not know anything.

To explain the behaviour of a person it is completely unnecessary to know his type, it is enough to know socionics.

Socionics is not only a science about various types of people, but also an art to bullshit them.

Balzak says that socionics isn’t necessary for him;
Sawyer says that socionics isn’t necessary for anybody;
And Holmes keeps reading the papers.

But seriously... in my experiences...

If an INTj says "yes" he means "I may get around to it someday"
If an INTj says "I don't know" he means "No, but I'm not willing to argue about it"
ISTps don't say anything. They just shrug and then continue doing what they want.
ESFps will have already done what you've suggested before giving themselves a chance to answer you (at least that's how they are with me ).

Tell me who your dual is I shall tell to you who are you.

so true

[aestrivex]

implied got it in before you.

[mustachio]

i almost fell off my chair laughing.

[Joy]

lol so I see

I suppose next time I should wait for a response when I say "you should post that" before going ahead and doing it myself.

[Creepy-bg]

i almost fell off my chair laughing.

I agree with this... this is robot humor

[Joy]

I dunno, I didn't really think of it as funny... more like mildly amusing

anyways, the translation...

If an ESTp says “yes” he means “yes”.
If an ESTp says “no” he means “no”.
If an ESTp says “maybe” he is ENTp.
If an ISFj says “no” he means “maybe”.
If an ISFj says “maybe” he means “yes”.
If an ISFj says “yes” he is very tired.
If an ENTp says “yes” he means “maybe”.
If an ENTp says “maybe” he means “no”.
If an ENTp says “no” he feels himself ESFp.

Tell me who your dual is I shall tell to you who are you.

If an ESTp remains silent for 3 minutes, it means he is numb, if 5 - it means he is dead.

An ENFp helps those who help themselves.

Brief characteristics:
ESTj - reliable, serious, practical.
ESFp - practical, cheerful, unreliable.

It you want to be lost in crowd - pretend to be an ISTp.

An ENTp is always hungry,
An INFj is always ill,
An ESTp is always ESTp. (lol)

An introverted ENTp looks like an INTj, extraverted – like a cock.
Between two ENFps it’s not worth choosing. ()

Who does not know typology - does not know himself.
Who does not know himself - does not know anything.

To explain the behaviour of a person it is completely unnecessary to know his type, it is enough to know socionics.

Socionics is not only a science about various types of people, but also an art to bullshit them.

An INTp says that socionics isn’t necessary for him;
An ENFp says that socionics isn’t necessary for anybody;
And an ESTj keeps reading the papers.

ESFps will have already done what you've suggested before giving themselves a chance to answer you (at least that's how they are with me ).

[Jonathan]

If an INTj says "yes" he means "I may get around to it someday"
If an INTj says "I don't know" he means "No, but I'm not willing to argue about it"

These are INTjPs you're talking about, of course.

[krieger]

A negative trait: when they promise, it usually doesn't mean "I will certainly do", often it means "I wish it would happen when somebody helps"

Club: Rationals
The type's actions are internal but its thoughts external in the sense that it has definite opinions but it will rarely do concrete actions according to them by itself. It is difficult to analyze its actions because it tends to passivity. It doesn't interact at the level of the body and it doesn't interact at the level of the mind. It stands apart of others, analyzes, suggests, plans, readies itself and its environment.

Result/process type: Result
It is unfocused, open, multi-tasking in action. It tries to maintain status quo. It spends its resources in anything that seems worthwhile at the moment. By its actions it turns 'creating' into 'accepting'. It takes the base of its actions as situational, labile and tries to make the best of whatever's available.

Has no complete, total system to guide it's life, but a number of selected items and ideas that it tries to fit together as best as it can. It tries to make sense of things, tries to solve inconsistencies. By its actions it turns 'extrovert' into 'introvert', something that is well defined into implications. It's speculative.

Analysis of strategy cycle: Strategy->Emotion-creating
Having found an appropriate goal, it is lacking a way to get there (for a goal is not a goal when its reached). It is lost and needing to try new things. It can not easily discard ideas, suggestions or expertise because it does not know what is the thing that will help it to its coal, hence it's a student of everythin, an open ear for anyone who has something to say.

Plenty of material to support that it is a universal INTj trait.

[Dioklecian]

I miss everyone that has ever been in this forum and is not anymore

[Joy]

If an INTj says "yes" he means "I may get around to it someday"
If an INTj says "I don't know" he means "No, but I'm not willing to argue about it"

These are INTjPs you're talking about, of course.

no such thing

it's the Se PoLR that caused the INTj I was with to refuse to say no