A lady from church described her daughter and son-in-law. Sounded like he was an INTj and she was an ESFj, but I've never met them.
A lady from church described her daughter and son-in-law. Sounded like he was an INTj and she was an ESFj, but I've never met them.
Are you referring to romantic relationships? I've known and interacted with plenty of ESEs myself.Originally Posted by redbaron
either romantic or very close friendships or even family.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I've been reading Alan Greenspan's memoirs, The Age of Turbulence.
I've previously typed him as ILE, but from the book, I am now inclined to see him as LII.
I also think that his wife, the NBC correspondent Andrea Mitchell, is an ESE.
So there we have a likely example of LII-ESE couple.
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Oh okay! I could see that.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Ahahaha. This reminds me of your description of IEI-SLE duality involving tin opening.
Did you notice Greenspan's language seemed similar to slackermom's language near the beginning of the book (talking about how he grew up etc.)? Or was that just me?
Similar as in they both seem very humble, talk about small cute things and they both seem to understate their position or importance.
ἀταραξία
Yes, I agree.
My grandmother's sister's daughter (pseudoaunt?) is ESE married to an LII. They seem happy together, except she never lets him talk
EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
E3 (probably 3w4)
Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!
Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/
My mother and father are ESE-LII. (Mom ESE, dad LII)
They get along great. To me it's bizarre though because the relationship doesn't have the level of romance that I need. But that's just my personal bias, being the the romantic type.
Yeah. My mom/dad are the same way but they always talk about how dad is more outgoing now and mom is more quiet like they balance each other out. I just don't get the same type of balance from opposites like that, so I don't understand it, but it's real to them.She's very friendly and talkative, he's very geeky and quiet (how stereotypical, right?)
lol that's cause they're alpha and you're beta. I understand that. It's cool though that they're duals. I think you're lucky to have dual parents.
IEI-Fe 4w3
This sounds SO much like the ESE-LII couple I know. They travel EVERYwhere. Their house is immaculate. She bakes and cooks and hosts guests all the time. It's ridiculous. he's a total geek but in the most darling way. I think they're a very cute couple.My grandmother's sister's daughter (pseudoaunt?
IEI-Fe 4w3
They never take my side on things though. They tag team up against me and it's frustrating. I have to get my IEI grandmother sometimes to stick up for me, because she understands strong romantic yearnings as well.It's cool though that they're duals. I think you're lucky to have dual parents.
It may be at the same level, but it may just look differently to you. In my case, though I'll admit I don't know if I've ever dated a dual or not, when I'm with someone, they just "know" that I like/love them. I may say it, and I may show it, but not all the time... It's almost like the "romantic" part of me turns down after some time (kinda like a boiling pot of water, at first i'm all over the top, but after turning the heat down a bit I'll stay at a slow boil), but it's always there and I may not need to show it so often as I once did earlier on in the relationship. I'm guessing your parents have been together for some time if they are your natural parents... only saying this since you're not a little kid or anything, so there's a fair amount of time they've been together if you're in your 20's. You yourself may not see them as very romantic at this point... but that doesn't mean they weren't all crazy back when they were your age.
What would we do without cracka's common sense?
Yes that could be very much possible, however they don't talk with me about this so how would I know that was true or not? They think it's some sort of code they can't break with their kids. I think that's retarded though. I'd tell a homeless person on the street my personal life! That's just how I am.
I never said if it's true or not with them, just that it's a possibility. As for the homeless bit... I've never met a person I couldnt' tell my life story to... so i'm much the same.
Good point, Cracka. I think intense romance does mellow with age.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I know a few old ppl that are extremely romantic tho.
All people are different...whether that's type related or not... i couldn't say. I do wonder though, when saying romantic, are you meaning that they are more affectionate towards eachother, as far as physically? In older age, they can say that as: "the fire's still burning" in some cases.
My roomie's grandparents are both in their late 60's and early 70's and they still have sex every day... sometimes more than once even... after meeting them I remember laughing because my roomie was showing them around the house and when they looked at her bed they both said something along the lines of it being higher than most beds, but just the right height for.....well, you probably get the picture.
HA! That's cute. Well my husband's parents are that same age and I don't think they ever have sex.But his mom has some health problems. Yeah, it's hard to know what you'll be doing at that age. (geesh, I thought twice a week was pretty good....)
IEI-Fe 4w3
If it wasn't for the fact that I have a brother and the fact that I'm sitting here typing, I'd still think my parents had never had sex,
Wow, do you know their types? (if you mentioned it before, I've forgotten) Not to say that it's necessarily type related.If it wasn't for the fact that I have a brother and the fact that I'm sitting here typing, I'd still think my parents had never had sex,
IEI-Fe 4w3
I mean affectionate with somebody, even mentally not just physically. My grandmother is very romantic but hates being touched, but she still loves love poems and songs and the like very much. I meant more relationship intimacy, not just doing the nasty.
Like 'I love yous' and coos and moralizing/idealization of human interpersonal relationships. I guess.
There are also snooty/bitter grannies too as well. Or a mixture of the two. Not like all old people get along. But they damn sure love their Cracker Barrel LOLZ.
ain't that the truth.
IEI-Fe 4w3
lol...werd.ain't that the truth.
and to think i was considering ESE the past couple of days! that is SO not me! thank you! kristiina too!
my house is a complete pigsty, i hate cooking and am afraid to have people over. and my hubby is a total ass but in the most darling way! hahaha! god, it's so true!
i was struck by the part about the problems not being hers. just always thinking of other people, invading your mind.
the last part reminds me that this pair will deal in abstracts.
i think i am a pretty romantic person. silly enfj webs and smoke (flights of exaggeration) totally work on me. female isfps and i agree that some tangible show of romance is needed in life.
Wanted to add that recently i have really been biting my tongue as its so painfully obvious (to me) that a coworker of mine is stumbling all over the place, grabbing the air for TiNe -- an all encompassing structure to define how everything relates to everything else and how a plan makes sense theoretically -- before she will take action. I bite my tongue, then the words just escape as if to say, "why dont the rest of you idiots give her hand, poor thing". which is an exaggeration. But seems my interaction with her is always gay, always calm. I appreciate her wide eyed concern for everyone around her and she appreciates my wit, humor, ready laughter and ability to speak for her. (if i do say so myself).
i know you mean well. but, it's interesting that you give a shit so much about my type and in believing i'm ESE. i'm not ESE because I'm not ESE. my sister laughs hysterically at the idea of it. SHE'S closer to an ESE than i am.
i'm curious as to why. pm me if you'd like. i've met bg and blaze in person and i'm definitely not in their quadra. nice folks, but not "my" folks. kwim? i also know that my estate lawyer is an entp and she's just a bit "weird" for me. i like weird but not her kind of weird...
INTj meeting an ESFj
I was talking to my friend's roommate and I was certain that she was some sort of Fe type. I would guess ESE, based on the fact that she was so enthusiastic, but the problem is that I wasn't liking the way that she was communicating; I hate to say it, but she seemed kind of shallow, and I was also overwhelmed by her enthusiasm. I actually relate to my SEI friend a lot better. He is enthusiastic, but in more of a laid back way. Further, I don't understand her outlook. I don't want to say that she's childish, but she has a very childlike type of enthusiasm. She majored in developmental psychology, she wants to teach young children, and she even watches children's movies. I don't think that, in principle, there's anything wrong with that, I just don't relate to it. I also get the feeling that if I were to talk to her about some of my theoretical interests, she wouldn't be interested. What I don't understand is that I usually get along well with Fe types, and I've known several of them. I just don't know if any of them have been ESEs. What do you think is wrong?
Just don't think so much about things that happen to do with this person and it would work out much better. Just be happy around them...lol.
If you and this person have a mutual interest you'll find that deep conversation you may be looking for, but until then... just don't fool yourself with thinking they care about anything theoretical you have in your mind, they'll probably just think it's boring.
Last edited by cracka; 01-12-2009 at 11:05 PM.
I'm to the point where any beef you have with somebody else is a beef you have with yourself.
She's shallow? Oh really. And what makes you so deep?
I just don't get it.
Anyways, you're the one that's psychoanalyzing her while she's out living and enjoying life.
You don't have to get all deep and romantic with everybody you meet, or 'too deep' that's creepy, that is special and so should be reserved for special occasions should it not? What's the point of your 'depth' if you're always looking for it and going after it?
Have you met any Si ESFjs yet?
I think it might depend on the ESE. Maybe that one wasn't as intelligent as you? others will be. I knew one who actually seemed to like it when I talked about personality type theories, etc. Though he would debate me a bit and say he thought I was categorizing people too much. But I do know an ESE now who is sort of similar to the one you described.
Or maybe with duality, the point is that you find a sort of relaxation with your dual because in a way they stop you from talking about what you normally would? Sometimes I like it when S types pull me out of my rambling by asking me a concrete question like "how was the party last night?" And then if you want a super N conversation, you can just talk to other friends later.
Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)
+1
Moonlight will fall
Winter will end
Harvest will come
Your heart will mend
+1
I'd like to compare my Si-ESFj 2w3 so/sp roomie to my Fe-ESFj 3w2 sx/so friend.
The roomie is pretty goofy, a bit of an idiot at times, likes to "lol" out loud. He thinks his mother is the most amazing woman on earth and loves her sweet and coddling nature. She rubs off on him a lot because he wants to save everything and make everything nice for everyone. He doesn't do the disney thing, but he definitely gives off the "I will philosophize for 20 years and do nothing" kind of aura with a nice injection of EJ crack-down. Like an EJ SEI, lol. He's definitely intelligent, and not necessarily immature, just kind of a dink (in the same feel that I'm getting from your description of this girl).
The Fe-ESFj, on the other hand, is a steam-roller. She's 21, owns her own house, her own business, is pursuing her second degree. She's extremely confident, a micromanager, and totally in control of her own life. She likes to cook for people, and loves her house clean, and when people don't do things her way she will come down on them like a hammer. She's a little quiet when getting to know people, but afterwards she's a pistol. All of this is wrapped up with this strange flavour of indulgence and alpha caregiving.
The two of them are a lot alike in certain regards. I can't quite pinpoint it, but when you see either of them together or in isolation they both scream ESFj at you, however they are also very different. We played a board game together last night and the two of them were sitting across from each other and I just kept looking from one to the other and wondering at how they can be so much alike and so different at the same time.
As an interesting note, you can kind of see the difference in their eyes. the Si-sub has this lilt in his eyes that always makes him looks sympathetic and softer. Very expressive, but in the neutral he almost looks a little sad. Think Wall-E, actually.
Fe-sub, on the other hand, is very eyes-wide-open. Kind of reminiscent of Anne Hathaway, just taking the enormity of her eyes down a notch. She always seems observant and attentive, and where the Si-sub just seems to kind of reveal things automatically, Fe-sub seems much more in control.
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
My husband is Fe-sub ESE and he's very academic-oriented, has his master's and PhD (ABD) as well as a law degree. He definitely doesn't come across as goofy in any way. But he loves to cook on the weekends, takes care of the house, does his own landscaping cause he wants to even though we could afford to have it done by a professional. And he's extremely good with people. Making connections between friends is his speciality. If he meets someone new (and meeting people is very easy for him), and finds out they're in a certain field of study or area of law, he could immediately come up with three names of people they should meet and put them in contact with each other. In fact, if you were to lose your job, the first thing I'd say is talk to my husband because he might know someone who knows someone who could employ you. Seriously. His main problem I think, is figuring out how to deepen the friendships with people he already knows. I think plenty of extraverts have this issue. Especially men. I would never describe my husband as shallow BUT he is heavy on the doing and light on the contemplating.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Yes, this sounds EXACTLY like the Fe-ESE I mentioned above. <3 ESEsMy husband is Fe-sub ESE and he's very academic-oriented, has his master's and PhD (ABD) as well as a law degree. He definitely doesn't come across as goofy in any way. But he loves to cook on the weekends, takes care of the house, does his own landscaping cause he wants to even though we could afford to have it done by a professional. And he's extremely good with people. Making connections between friends is his speciality. If he meets someone new (and meeting people is very easy for him), and finds out they're in a certain field of study or area of law, he could immediately come up with three names of people they should meet and put them in contact with each other. In fact, if you were to lose your job, the first thing I'd say is talk to my husband because he might know someone who knows someone who could employ you. Seriously. His main problem I think, is figuring out how to deepen the friendships with people he already knows. I think plenty of extraverts have this issue. Especially men. I would never describe my husband as shallow BUT he is heavy on the doing and light on the contemplating.
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
In order to start duality you need to be well developed yourself. Also, they need to be well developed. Otherwise, you're in different worlds .. it doesn't work. So ... go get a life.
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