I met my dual!!

**ESTP** · 02-06-2007, 06:13 PM

I wouldnt say so...the night of the alcohol incident...he stayed over, he just slept over cuz I didnt want him dirving home durnk. In the morning, he was saying goodbye, and he kissed me on top of the head. And when we saw each other that monday for a few mins...he was totally

and good to go, he didnt seem pissed off or annoyed, infact he was the one to approach me and say hi first. It just seems like if I want anything to do with him, I have to be the one to innitiate it, and thats just not how it works with me.

**Blaze** · 02-06-2007, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by ISTP

I wouldnt say so...the night of the alcohol incident...he stayed over, he just slept over cuz I didnt want him dirving home durnk. In the morning, he was saying goodbye, and he kissed me on top of the head. And when we saw each other that monday for a few mins...he was totally

and good to go, he didnt seem pissed off or annoyed, infact he was the one to approach me and say hi first. It just seems like if I want anything to do with him, I have to be the one to innitiate it, and thats just not how it works with me.

yeah, you're the introvert he's the extrovert, he should be initiating more with you! rick says to act like yourself to attract your dual....maybe you could stop pursuing him....

**ESTP** · 02-06-2007, 07:38 PM

I already have...i left the ball in his court when i said "when u got the free time you know what to do".

**jessica129** · 02-06-2007, 09:55 PM

I know not to take anything anyone says seriously when they're drunk..i'm not sure why someone would just cut off contact over a drunken statement that obviously wasn't true. Who knows what the reason is. I would attempt to contact him again and if he didn't respond, screw it.

Many times I'm the one that has to call and I feel like i'm begging them to talk to me. If they can't show common decency to respond, well then, whatever. Dating is such a game. I'm thinking of being asexual, it's too much stress.

**Topaz** · 02-13-2007, 03:08 AM

Originally Posted by jessica129

I know not to take anything anyone says seriously when they're drunk..i'm not sure why someone would just cut off contact over a drunken statement that obviously wasn't true. Who knows what the reason is. I would attempt to contact him again and if he didn't respond, screw it.

Many times I'm the one that has to call and I feel like i'm begging them to talk to me. If they can't show common decency to respond, well then, whatever. Dating is such a game. I'm thinking of being asexual, it's too much stress.

I didnt know ISTPs called people. When did that start happening? I had one call me when we had agreed before hand in person to call each other but never out of the blue.

**jessica129** · 02-13-2007, 03:10 PM

Rarely. That's why you know if I call you, there's something really wrong.

**ESTP** · 02-13-2007, 03:44 PM

Just an update on the dual situation...there isnt one. It's over and doen with, haha actually I dont think it ever began. I have this thought, perhaps Im better off with an identical anyway!? It just seems like that would be the way to go!

**jessica129** · 02-13-2007, 03:52 PM

I sometimes think that too. But I dont think there'd be much conversation.

What happened?

**ESTP** · 02-13-2007, 03:59 PM

Basically, I dont think he was interested...in the beggining yes...but as time went on..no. Uhh I think he just wasnt interested, or maybe that whole drinking thing where I told him i hated him 8 times turned him off? Meh...what does it really matter? We didnt talk for almost a week and a half, and I was in the area cuz I had an errand to run and figured, Im close by (theres about 25 mins between us) figured might as well give him a shout for a quick coffee (was meeting a friend about an hr after that call anyway) so I called him, he was still at work (2 hrs past the time ppl generally get off on base) and he couldnt (so we were on the opposite ends of two towns) and he had a game i think hockey later that night. So....yeah, secnod time turned down for a coffee...I think its time I take the hint.

Fucking enfps

**stefana** · 02-13-2007, 05:45 PM

If he really had plans that night before you called him, then you cannot blame him can you? Likewise, you wouldn't want him to cancel his plans with you if some friends of his suddenly want him to join them in their activities.

Ahh but I know you are really pissed now so I won't say much at the moment.

**Mea** · 02-13-2007, 05:52 PM

Hmmm. I wouldn't assume he's not interested because he had plans for that moment. The timing might not be right. ENFps can be pretty caught up in various activities. Like when I reject someone who's asking me for a date, it might not be that I'm not interested. But I already have plans.
Actually, I can understand where you're coming from. I've had friends who complain that I always seem busy and don't have time for them.

In actual fact, I'm not that busy really.

Just that sometimes, the timing is wrong...

*sigh* Don't give up so soon? > < Hmm.

**stefana** · 02-13-2007, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by Mea

Hmmm. I wouldn't assume he's not interested because he had plans for that moment. The timing might not be right. ENFps can be pretty caught up in various activities. Like when I reject someone who's asking me for a date, it might not be that I'm not interested. But I already have plans.
Actually, I can understand where you're coming from. I've had friends who complain that I always seem busy and don't have time for them.

In actual fact, I'm not that busy really.

Just that sometimes, the timing is wrong...

*sigh* Don't give up so soon? > < Hmm.

Agree with this.

By the way ISTP, I think it's best if you dole out less sarcastic remarks until you know this guy better. I get those from my sister but I don't take offense because I know she's just kidding and we can banter with each other. You're still new to this guy though so he could misunderstand.

**ESTP** · 02-13-2007, 08:12 PM

im not judging him, i just know when someone's interested or not, and im about 95% sure he's not so im done with that one

**jessica129** · 02-13-2007, 09:20 PM

I admire people who can just shrug off such let downs. I'm not sure exactly how you're feeling about the sitaution or not...I'm just very sensitive when it comes to rejection. Who knows what the circumstances were with you. I just can't help but think there was something wrong with *me* whenever I get turned down. Hence the reason I'm taking a dating break.

**ESTP** · 02-13-2007, 11:31 PM

well i use to be like that, thinking "it must be me" when i get rejected...but then i kinda got tired of it because it brought me down, so i said fuck off to that too...lol...so basically if something goes wrong or if that person isnt interested for whatever reason, i go back and annalyze why i liked them in the first place and basically realize there had to be a reason that it didnt work out and i shoudlnt have want to be with that person in the first place...catch my drift

**Topaz** · 02-14-2007, 12:22 AM

Originally Posted by jessica129

Rarely. That's why you know if I call you, there's something really wrong.

Does something have to be wrong to call someone? What about a call to invite someone out for a drink or movie? Or how about a call to say hi?

I actually like it when someone actually wants to spend time with me. If one of my friends called and said "Come over" I probably wouldnt even ask why. I would just come because they wanted me to. OK, scratch that, ... it depends on what Im doing. If Im doing nothing in particular Id be there with bells on but if Im really busy Id probably ask why. Either way Id probably try to fill their request even if I had to delay a little. If any ISTP I know called me and asked me to come I probably wouldnt hesitate. Probably because I know how rare it is for them to do something like that. All the ISTPs I know (in person) have such a difficulty reaching out, I am deeply moved when they do reach out to me. It doesnt even have to be stated directly.

**jessica129** · 02-14-2007, 12:34 AM

I just can't seem to do that. I always take the position in thinking, if they really wanted to do something or hang out with me, they'd call me first. Unfortunatly, I think i've ruined many potential friendships by assuming that. I just don't want to bother people so i let them contact me first.

**ESTP** · 02-14-2007, 01:58 AM

Originally Posted by jessica129

I just can't seem to do that. I always take the position in thinking, if they really wanted to do something or hang out with me, they'd call me first. Unfortunatly, I think i've ruined many potential friendships by assuming that. I just don't want to bother people so i let them contact me first.

I second that

**mikemex** · 02-23-2007, 04:14 AM

Potential friendships...

**mikemex** · 02-24-2007, 06:49 AM

Also, I find this funny, because it's been said already...

...friendship with ENFPs can be a problem if you need a lot of consistency. They are there, full of life and personal attention and then they might be gone for days or weeks even months without much contact. When they show up again they like to pick up right where they left off. Then as mysteriously as they came, they disappear again.

**Jarno** · 03-03-2007, 04:41 PM

i've also met my dual.

it was really great, like if we knew eachother for a very long time. very strange...

**jessica129** · 03-03-2007, 05:28 PM

How can you ever be sure they're you're 'dual'? I don't know, I'm horrible at typing people. I see too many sides to a person that makes me wonder..."well, maybe they're this type" then they do something to completely shatter that. I also think people change with time. I don't know, I'm questioning this whole theory now for some reason.

**eunice** · 03-04-2007, 01:07 AM

Whenever I'm attracted to someone, it always seem to me that he's my dual. It's only when after the attraction has subsided then I will accurately assess his type.

**meatburger** · 03-04-2007, 05:40 AM

I find the situation with ISTp's very interesting. I find it funny that there problems are so opposite to mine. Ever since i was 5 years old i have understood what is happening with people, what i need to do, how to build relationships etc.

I think ISTp's are terribly cute with their dealings with people etc. I would like nothing more than to find an angry little one and with kindness and enthusiasm slowly open her up.

Oh well a man can dream

**Jarno** · 03-07-2007, 09:19 PM

Originally Posted by jessica129

How can you ever be sure they're you're 'dual'? I don't know, I'm horrible at typing people. I see too many sides to a person that makes me wonder..."well, maybe they're this type" then they do something to completely shatter that. I also think people change with time. I don't know, I'm questioning this whole theory now for some reason.

Maybe this helps:

1) I've read the book "SpeedReading People - Paul D. Tieger" (and a lot more, but that one is important).

2) When trying to type someone I first tried to figure out the 4 letters, one by one.
Sometimes the temperaments (xNTx, xSxJ etc) were very helpful to me, to know 2 letters immediately.

3) After a while I started to see connections in people. When somebody talked or did something, I could relate that behaviour to someone which Type I already knew ...and thats when things got simple!

It took me 2 years, but I can now probably see 20% within the first meeting and most of the rest within a couple of meetings

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