Originally Posted by
Muira
Good that my wording was right, but remember you will be much more comfortable knowing that people won't mess with you, things are guaranteed, etc, than having to worry constantly if everything is alright and having to have everyone else push their burden onto you, making you even more stressed.
As much as you want to be comfortable, if you don't learn to pressure people and change your environment to your liking, you wouldn't be able to become comfortable either way. Plus, you may not necessarily always have someone to do all the pressuring for you.
For example, you are working on a group project, everyone is going to do their part expect this one person slacks off and makes the manager pissed or whatever customers, making you or any other worker have to deal with the conflict. Or you feel absolutely exhausted, but your very own co-worker clocks out early and now you have to work overtime because your boss requested you too after someone didn't do their part right away, etc.
A lot of things can happen realistically, so you ought to at least try to do what is necessary, even if it maybe more uncomfortable.
It's not always pushing on other people's boundaries, but also enforcing your own boundaries and even your loved one's boundaries. Pushing other people because it's a team effort, you have to take the blame alongside with them, even if you didn't deserve it.
There is absolutely no reason to be "kind" (easy on, giving, etc) to someone who is being lazy and just dragging everyone else, there is no good reason to reward bad behavior. They'll only just continue.
Here are some good recommendations to build up confidence:
>Stop sloaching, have a more open body language, stop making yourself smaller
>Be stern in tone and do not compromise in deal, make warnings, fallow through witb the warnings
>Only "reward" good behavior, don't even openly or warmly interact with anyone who is lazy or a prick, if they don't work or you, they only work against you(by slowing down the group, using other people while not giving back, etc).
>Start excersing more to really improve your mental health, weight training also helps you become more mentally stronger.
>Remember that just giving into guilt isn't right either way, it doesn't help you or them, nly in extreme situations where there is misfortune, should you be willing to give someone a second chance, etc.
>Plan out your day, be realistic. "Get this done by this time, etc."
Hope this helps