Member Questionnaire 1 (Symmachia)
What is beauty? What is love? Beauty is an incredibly vast concept, which I think is beautiful in and of itself. We find beauty both in the incredibly sublime and the seemingly mundane. I am also of the opinion that both individuals can have their own standards of beauty and certain things tend to resonate among most humans as beautiful. Beauty must not always correlate with positivity and light, as some things commonly considered disturbing can still be beautiful even if they invoke uncomfortable feelings.
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, no more... There are lots of different types of love, but I think the consistent pattern is devotion. I also think there is something to be said about more profound love, the type you chose, rather than the type that you inherit (familial love; not to say you shouldn't love your family). If I think about this for too long, it might bring me some sorrow.
What are your most important values? Some of my values are pretty political; I believe we should invest in the future and provide a safety net for children to succeed, because of the long-term value this will bring to society. Envisioning a future in which my values are not implemented (which I do every day) fills me with angst, but I do it anyway because I deeply value my introspection and contemplation. My life would be mostly nothing without a vast inner world with a flowing dialogue.
Even though I myself am sort of isolated, I value those who work for their communities. Although, I can understand just trying to get by on your own and survive; being alive is hard.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? Generally, I consider myself agnostic about religious/spiritual beliefs but that isn't to say I ignore them. It's just that if I think about the existence of a higher power for too long, I become sad. I am very interested in hearing about other people's spiritual beliefs and will engage readily in a conversation on the topic, so long as the other participant(s) are okay with me just asking questions.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? I have an interest in history, so war interests me in this regard.
I live a very unorganized and undisciplined life, but nevertheless, I sort of admire the military life. Those who actually have self-discipline fascinate me, since it is a trait that has so far escaped me. I think I would benefit from some military-style discipline, even though the transition from my libertine lifestyle might make me upset and uncomfortable.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? My interests are anthropology, geopolitics, philosophy, literature, and writing. I am so fascinated by humankind and our cultures and habits and trends, even if society is often unkind and ugly. I quickly derail more mundane conversations to talk about things that fascinate me, though I never do it on purpose. Usually, I have long conversations about whatever has been occupying my introspection as of late.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? I like watching Chubbyemu videos, does that count?
I neglect my body and needs like eating and sleeping until it becomes impossible to ignore. Though I complain about my poor health when I am feeling anxious. It's self-piteous and doesn't really help, but I am the type to complain about my feeble condition than try and get healthy. I would benefit from a personal trainer or something.
What do you think of daily chores? They are hard for me to do. I am awful at routine.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. My favorite book is "Good Omens". I had to reread some Edgar Allan Poe recently; I love "The Masque of the Red Death" and "The Black Cat".
My favorite movies are all over the place. Within my top 5 list are both "Fantastic Mr. Fox" and "Come and See".
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? I cry under pressure when I'm very overwhelmed. I am an anxious crier. I try not to cry in public as it may be distressing to others (and is certainly distressing to me), but if I start I can't stop. Sometimes, displays of tenderness from unexpected places make me cry. And obviously, sad things make me cry. This makes it sound like I am constantly crying; I promise you I'm not.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? I have/have had one or two friends with whom I feel I truly belong. It isn't at all about the space I'm in, but rather the company. However, I always feel like I never belong completely, like I'm an imposter of some kind.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? I am incredibly indecisive and prone to inaction. Important deadlines or decisions pass me by because I am stuck in my head contemplating them.
I'm flaky and capricious.
I spend a lot of time thinking, talking, and contemplating, but no time doing.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? When I apply myself, I can produce good results on projects. People have told me I'm smart, but I find saying this to be very embarrassing for some reason.
I make acquaintances easily, and try to make others feel welcome IF it is my responsibility to do so.
I make my friend group laugh a lot. This was also very embarrassing to type.
In what areas of your life would you like help? I feel as though I lack conviction, strength, and self-discipline.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Yes. I think my inaction leads to me being stuck; if I can't make a decision, then I can't move forward, can I? I am able to identify this problem and yet I still struggle with the decision-making process, as I fear narrowing down my choices in life.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I like surprising people: people with layers, people with hobbies you would never guess, people who defy the stereotype of how they look. I admire people who live a more orderly life than me, even though they are sort of intimidating to me as well.
I dislike people who are purposefully ignorant or obtuse. I also can't understand uncurious individuals.
My best friend is EII. I adore and admire her. My brother is ILI. We get along very well and he is probably the most important person to me in my family.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? It makes me a little nervous to think about this. I worry that in my head I'm being too romantic. I say I hate romance, but in reality, I think I am a pretty romantic person who is just bitter about my lack of success in this area of my life.
I just want someone strong enough to put up with this mess. Oh, and it'd be nice if they could drive everywhere. I am known to be a poor driver.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? First and foremost, I would worry about my ability to be a parent. I know I would have the capacity to love my own child, but I would only want to bring a child into this world if I knew he or she would have all of the resources to thrive in the early years of development especially. I struggle to take a lot of things very seriously, but raising another human being must be done seriously.
I don't want children.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? Both inwardly and outwardly I would be pretty shocked. I would like to say that I would challenge them, as my beliefs are important to me, but in the heat of the moment, I would probably just get flustered and let it go. Later, I'd think about it for a long time afterwards. If I remember, I will bring it up later and probe them as to why they feel or think the way they do. I want to understand them before I introduce my opinion.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. I view myself on the peripheral of society, a fact I have a love-hate relationship with. Sometimes I feel lonely, yet at other times I feel content to watch and observe. Society is interesting; people are interesting.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? I choose my friends based on how well we "vibe" together in a group setting. If I feel comfortable coming out of my shell around them, they've advanced from acquaintance to friend. My closest friends are those I am comfortable seeking comfort in; I am a bit distrustful in this regard so it means a lot if I trust someone with this. I also really, really, REALLY struggle initiating social situations and relationships, but for my absolute best friends, I try.
How do you behave around strangers? Usually, I say nothing. If I must speak to them, I just engage in pleasant but idle chatter. The way I see it, these brief interactions should not make someone's day worse, so you should try to at least be polite. I don't enjoy small talk, but it has its place in this social setting.
Member Questionnaire (Symmachia)
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Originally Posted by Beautiful sky
