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Thread: Living with a Quasi-Identical: ESI-SEI

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    Default Living with a Quasi-Identical: ESI-SEI

    How to distinguish between a ESI(me) and a SEI(my sister)



    • Si base vs. Si Demonstrative
      • Compared to my younger sister, I would outwardly appear to be the one who cares about creating a soothing environment and engaging with soothing activities, but this is untrue, to an extent. I do like cooking, gardening, and I clean around the house more frequently than my sister, but I like the action of doing calming activities rather than enjoying the physical sensations. Enjoying the physical sensations is a characteristic that better suits my sister. I like to plant roses, while my sister prefers to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. I can be a pretty bland cook, especially if I’m cooking for myself, because it’s not making food tasty that excites me but rather the process of cooking. My sister is the picky eater, not me. I don’t care if the food is cold or needs a little salt, but cold and flavorless food completely ruins my sister’s day.



    • My sister has an aesthetic for everything! Her bedroom, her clothes, her phone, and even the people she’s attracted to. Things must be pretty for her. In the past, as the youngest, my sister used to receive lots of hand-me-down. Wearing unfashionable, slightly worn clothes depressed her. I wore worn-down clothes too, as I am the second youngest, but this never bothered me. I’m okay with used furniture, outdated technology, and secondhand clothes as long as they “work.”



    • In terms of fashion sense, we both dress fairly well. But to be specific, I have a more classic and conservative style with hints of punk. My style has been consistent since middle school and I don’t follow trends too much. My sister, on the other hand, does pay close attention to trends. She buys clothes more frequently than me and likes to experiment with her look.



    • Providing care for others and ourselves comes naturally to us. We both own pets and provide good care for them. We are queasy people though. She is a bit more than I am; she can’t stand the sight of blood.



    • For art, I am a little more creative than her. I have liked to write ever since I was young, while my sister hasn’t really indulged into anything creative. We enjoy music in low volumes, but I can jam out sometimes. I like to dance too.



    • Fe creative vs. Fe Ignoring
      • At first glance, we both appear restrained to a stranger, but a good joke would help you discern us. My sister is friendly and loves to laugh. I most likely would not laugh and at most, give a tight smile.



    • She is far more playful and lively than me, she loves to be in merry company. She likes to tease, flirt, light-heartedly gossip, and once again, laugh. Even her resting face, she has a slight smirk that seems like she is ready to laugh at any moment. She laughs out loud and grins widely. I don’t laugh much, at least not sincerely. I often have a scared look on my face. When I do sincerely smile, it’s small as if I’m fighting it. I giggle, not laugh. I don’t gossip and I am awkward in any flirty situations.



    • Emotions appear to be contagious to my sister. If everyone is laughing and teasing, she appears to be “high” on the emotions. If others are sad, this distresses her too and she may even cry for them.



    • Neither of us are comedians or the life of the party. My sister finds it straining and becomes irritable if this role is pushed onto her. She much prefers to enjoy the lively environment another makes rather than create it herself. I often find myself being unintentionally entertaining, but I don’t purposely change the mood even when it’s tense and awkward. My sister will leave if the environment is awkward.
    Last edited by Elmira; 01-20-2023 at 03:43 PM.

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    Ni Role-Ni Mobilizing


    • Time has never been my sister’s forte. She’ll wake up extra early to reassure herself that she has plenty of time and still not organize her time wisely, and end up wasting time. Time isn’t my forte either. Deadlines and appointment times make me nervous. If I have an appointment time that day, I will not do anything but that appointment because I don’t know how long grocery takes, how traffic usually is, and if I can ‘squeeze’ in that walk because I don’t have a sense of passing time.




    • My sister never really followed a schedule, other than one provided by work and school. I, on the other hand, schedule everything. From my daily walk, my time to socialize, my breaks, and etc. I like to live every single minute planned.




    • My sister has decent punctuality; she made us late everyday of primary school when we were younger but she has gotten better over the years. I’m always on time, not early or late, and get very upset by others' tardiness.




    • Don’t ever ask my sister her future plans, she’ll take it as you’re purposefully antagonizing her or steering the conversation in a boring topic. I enjoy speaking about my future and get excited hearing people’s thoughts about how certain subjects and events are going to play out. Our future layout is similar though; very simplistic and "safe."




    • In terms of having foresight, don’t ask either of “what you think will happen?” My sister will get tensed and annoyed, while I’ll become anxious and stressed.



    Te PoLR-Te Suggestive



    • Don’t ever evaluate or criticize my sister’s work. If someone comments “I think it would be better/quicker/easier…,” she’ll get extremely upset and storm off, ceasing contact with that person for a very long time. I, on the other hand, actively seek an evaluation. I might present a brief outline of a project and inwardly hope someone points out if what I plan to do is realistic or beneficial. Sometimes I’ll even hope that the person advise me on the execution of my project too. I will get really disheartened if I don’t receive this information, and even hypocritically think the other person is useless.




    • When we share work together, our work quickly becomes my work. My sister doesn’t like to work. She often tells me that she wishes that she could find someone that loves her so much and will “rescue” her from working. She will gladly leave her task, even if she half way completed it, if she discovers there is someone who is willing to carry her load. When she does do work, she takes lots of breaks, making a 3-hour job into a 10-hour job. To me, life without work sounds unimaginable, but work often is stressful to me. I often feel clumsy and incompetent with tasks; I never know how to evaluate my capabilities and how to correctly approach tasks. So I prefer to work in private because I don’t want to be embarrassed by my clumsy approach to tasks.




    • “Is this a deal,” “Is this product worth the price,” “Is this product of quality,” and many similar questions tend to pop up in my mind frequently. When I have to make a big purchase and sometimes even grocery shopping, it takes forever as I’m constantly asking these questions in my head. My sister doesn’t seem to have these thoughts and if I voice these questions to her, she will get annoyed and might even suck her teeth, thinking I’m purposely irritating her.
    Last edited by Elmira; 01-30-2023 at 09:43 PM.

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    I'm curious, I have one question. How do both of you relate to sweets (candy, cupcakes, pies, jellybeans, etc)? Also, fruits?
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    Quote Originally Posted by lavos View Post
    I'm curious, I have one question. How do both of you relate to sweets (candy, cupcakes, pies, jellybeans, etc)? Also, fruits?
    Do you want a serious answer to that question?

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    How about Se? And Fi?
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    Do you want a serious answer to that question?
    Yes (if possible).
    -

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    How about Se? And Fi?
    Haven't wrote it yet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lavos View Post
    Yes (if possible).
    My sister likes pastries, but isn't crazy over candies. She claims that candies are too artificial tasting. She like fruits, but is picky about how fruit is served or presented.

    I don't care for sweets, but if I'm hungry with no other option or in celebratory scenario, I will eat it without complaint. I like fruits, more so than anyone I've met so far.

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    Ne Suggestive-Ne PoLR

    • My sister’s face lights up when the topic of “what could be” occurs. She likes when people share the potential of her talents, of others’, and items. I, on the other hand, find these topics boring and respond curtly, if I even engage. I prefer to focus on “what is” or “what will be.”
    • She enjoys having multiple options in all parts of life, but has a difficult time seeing options herself. If one randomly ask, “have any ideas what we should do today,” she’ll react with a puzzled and panicked look. I have struggles with brainstorming too, but in an oppositional way. Too many options freak me out. I get frustrated by ‘excessive’ fantasizing, even if I end up short cutting myself by hastily deciding on a less fortunate choice.
    • My sister frequently daydreams, but her daydreams seem repetitive and ‘grounded.’ I don’t daydream much, but if I do, my daydreams are unusual.
    • Anything ambiguous and sudden changes brings me distress; I avoid this as much as possible. My sisters enjoys surprises. When someone randomly switches plans in outgoings, like choosing a different restaurant than one planned, this seems to please my sister very much.


    Ti Mobilizing-Ti Role

    • Rather than explain my thought process and understanding of a topic, I would prefer to just send the person the original source of the information, indirectly stating “learn it yourself.” But this is out of insecurity that I’m overestimating my knowledge on the topic. My sister seems to share a similar sentiment. She evades situations that involve presenting her comprehension of topics.
    • My sister is academically inclined; she seems to absorb other explanations of topics, so school is on the easier side for her. I’m decent at school. School is exhaustive and does not come naturally to me.
    • Outwardly I appear to be very interested in theories and academics, but this is out of ambition rather than sincere interest. My sister outwardly won’t appear to be interested; she doesn’t read at all and she doesn’t seek higher education, but if someone starts explaining a theory or a similar topic, she enthusiastically listens and asks questions.
    • I have a reputation for being a hypocrite. I’ll say a statement and another will take this as a “rule” for myself, so when I behave outside of this “rule,” I get called a hypocrite. If someone points out this inconsistency, I’m confused and feel as if they’re playing a “gotcha” game that I didn’t know or care to be a part of. My sister hates to be outed for any inaccuracy between her words and her actions. My sister tries her best to maintain logical consistency, so when she is faced that she has made a mistake, this pains her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    My sister likes pastries, but isn't crazy over candies. She claims that candies are too artificial tasting. She like fruits, but is picky about how fruit is served or presented.

    I don't care for sweets, but if I'm hungry with no other option or in celebratory scenario, I will eat it without complaint. I like fruits, more so than anyone I've met so far.
    Is your sister SEI-Si or SEI-Fe (If imagining her as animal, she is a monkey; then she is SEI-Si, if a rabbit; she is SEI-Fe) ?
    -

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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    By contrast to your Ne I scan the news every morning for new ideas, new news, new information, new and interesting happenings, new health articles, new recipes, new science discoveries…and I speak about them to whomever I can share the information with, mostly hubs
    @Wavebury proof is in the pudding and not in your head
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by lavos View Post
    Is your sister SEI-Si or SEI-Fe (If imagining her as animal, she is a monkey; then she is SEI-Si, if a rabbit; she is SEI-Fe) ?
    My sister is a SEI-Fe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lavos View Post
    Is your sister SEI-Si or SEI-Fe (If imagining her as animal, she is a monkey; then she is SEI-Si, if a rabbit; she is SEI-Fe) ?
    …. What? LOL
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    Too many options freak me out. I get frustrated by ‘excessive’ fantasizing, even if I end up short cutting myself by hastily deciding on a less fortunate choice.
    Why? Is it because too many options seems like a “scam”? Or feeling exhausted at the thought of having to evaluate all of them?
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    I most likely would not laugh and at most, give a tight smile.


    • She is far more playful and lively than me, she loves to be in merry company. She likes to tease, flirt, light-heartedly gossip, and once again, laugh. Even her resting face, she has a slight smirk that seems like she is ready to laugh at any moment. She laughs out loud and grins widely. I don’t laugh much, at least not sincerely. I often have a scared look on my face. When I do sincerely smile, it’s small as if I’m fighting it. I giggle, not laugh. I don’t gossip and I am awkward in any flirty situations.
    You’re a female right? Do you have depression or autism or has something happened to you to make you have a more sombre vibe? Most of the female ESIs I know seem a bit more smiley than this sounds. The only female ESI I know like this was adopted, and had to undergo some hardship in her younger life.
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by simpin is pimpin View Post
    Why? Is it because too many options seems like a “scam”? Or feeling exhausted at the thought of having to evaluate all of them?
    Yes, having to evaluate all of them is tiring. I also don't like the state of inaction it requires me to be in.

    You’re a female right? Do you have depression or autism or has something happened to you to make you have a more sombre vibe? Most of the female ESIs I know seem a bit more smiley than this sounds. The only female ESI I know like this was adopted, and had to undergo some hardship in her younger life.
    I do smile as it's polite and courteous to do so. My somber impression only comes out with closeness, as this is when I become more sincere with my emotional expression.

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    I guess it depends on the ESI-Se. I had a female ESI-Se in childhood that was quite animated, but I've met others (most notably Jodie Foster, who I once saw at an hotel in the Maldives where I stayed when I was a child) who don't seem as animated. I guess it depends on other factors.

    Elmira, do you know your enneagram type/trifix?
    Last edited by lavos; 02-01-2023 at 10:44 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    Ni Role-Ni Mobilizing


    • Time has never been my sister’s forte. She’ll wake up extra early to reassure herself that she has plenty of time and still not organize her time wisely, and end up wasting time. Time isn’t my forte either. Deadlines and appointment times make me nervous. If I have an appointment time that day, I will not do anything but that appointment because I don’t know how long grocery takes, how traffic usually is, and if I can ‘squeeze’ in that walk because I don’t have a sense of passing time.




    • My sister never really followed a schedule, other than one provided by work and school. I, on the other hand, schedule everything. From my daily walk, my time to socialize, my breaks, and etc. I like to live every single minute planned.




    • My sister has decent punctuality; she made us late everyday of primary school when we were younger but she has gotten better over the years. I’m always on time, not early or late, and get very upset by others' tardiness.




    • Don’t ever ask my sister her future plans, she’ll take it as you’re purposefully antagonizing her or steering the conversation in a boring topic. I enjoy speaking about my future and get excited hearing people’s thoughts about how certain subjects and events are going to play out. Our future layout is similar though; very simplistic and "safe."




    • In terms of having foresight, don’t ask either of “what you think will happen?” My sister will get tensed and annoyed, while I’ll become anxious and stressed.



    Te PoLR-Te Suggestive



    • Don’t ever evaluate or criticize my sister’s work. If someone comments “I think it would be better/quicker/easier…,” she’ll get extremely upset and storm off, ceasing contact with that person for a very long time. I, on the other hand, actively seek an evaluation. I might present a brief outline of a project and inwardly hope someone points out if what I plan to do is realistic or beneficial. Sometimes I’ll even hope that the person advise me on the execution of my project too. I will get really disheartened if I don’t receive this information, and even hypocritically think the other person is useless.




    • When we share work together, our work quickly becomes my work. My sister doesn’t like to work. She often tells me that she wishes that she could find someone that loves her so much and will “rescue” her from working. She will gladly leave her task, even if she half way completed it, if she discovers there is someone who is willing to carry her load. When she does do work, she takes lots of breaks, making a 3-hour job into a 10-hour job. To me, life without work sounds unimaginable, but work often is stressful to me. I often feel clumsy and incompetent with tasks; I never know how to evaluate my capabilities and how to correctly approach tasks. So I prefer to work in private because I don’t want to be embarrassed by my clumsy approach to tasks.




    • “Is this a deal,” “Is this product worth the price,” “Is this product of quality,” and many similar questions tend to pop up in my mind frequently. When I have to make a big purchase and sometimes even grocery shopping, it takes forever as I’m constantly asking these questions in my head. My sister doesn’t seem to have these thoughts and if I voice these questions to her, she will get annoyed and might even suck her teeth, thinking I’m purposely irritating her.
    What you wrote about Ni is pretty much based on a lot of stereotypes about what Ni means and just that Si base types role out Ni would mean that they show off their Ni because they have Si base. Ni would be the internal manipulation of patterns and possibilities or ideas. Like imagining or deforming a subject of an idea into many possibilities. The best way to explain Ni is also to say for instance Putin is going to blow us up with Nuclear weapons and the mind taking that even and creating a world of post nuclear apocalypse that vision that transpires out of an even so to say. It occurred in the mind. Would you please ask your sister “if I say Putin will use a nuclear weapon!” What do you envision and see out of that image?
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 02-01-2023 at 11:12 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I’ll give you a real example from an ILI on how they see events.

    So Azerbaijan is now at war with Armenia and my ILI mom is Armenian. She says why does America support a nation that Russia is ally’s with? They are supporting a nation that is ally’s with Russia when Russia is at war in Ukraine.

    As in don’t support the friend of an enemy!

    She watches these events going on in the world and makes estimations of what is happening and speaks about these events often with a moral tinge like “it’s wrong what they are doing while people are the ones suffering”
    Because Ni is perception of the fluid world and events; it watches the state of the world change.

    I asked my mother to tell me what she sees

    “What do you see when I say Putin is going to drop a bomb on us?”
    Mom ILI: I don’t have any feelings. I just see a desolate world with no humans. After I have this vision then I form a feeling. Now I see that this is very bad. But my enemy will die so that makes me glad.

    I’m EII. If you ask me the same I will have intense and terrifying feelings and would imagine myself rushing to hold my love in my arms.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 02-01-2023 at 11:24 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    The reason why Ni stresses you out is because of your introverted feelings function is a subject that is subjectively influenced by the events that you imagine from within and from external events. If is a feeling subject that truly experiences feelings deeply so that experience stresses you out. I don’t know if your sister too gets stressed out as you and I would since we have Fi unless you ask her. Maybe their let live attitude and you can’t influence what happens let’s them not personally feel or associate feelings to the stressful events.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    My sister is a SEI-Fe.
    I can't wait for the Fi/Se
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by lavos View Post
    I guess it depends on the ESI-Se. I had a female ESI-Se in childhood that was quite animated, but I've met others (most notably Jodie Foster, who I once saw at an hotel in the Maldives where I stayed when I was a child) who don't seem as animated. I guess it depends on other factors.

    Elmira, do you know your enneagram type/trifix?
    684, sx/sp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    What you wrote about Ni is pretty much based on a lot of stereotypes about what Ni means and just that Si base types role out Ni would mean that they show off their Ni because they have Si base. Ni would be the internal manipulation of patterns and possibilities or ideas. Like imagining or deforming a subject of an idea into many possibilities. The best way to explain Ni is also to say for instance Putin is going to blow us up with Nuclear weapons and the mind taking that even and creating a world of post nuclear apocalypse that vision that transpires out of an even so to say. It occurred in the mind. Would you please ask your sister “if I say Putin will use a nuclear weapon!” What do you envision and see out of that image?
    The reason why Ni stresses you out is because of your introverted feelings function is a subject that is subjectively influenced by the events that you imagine from within and from external events. If is a feeling subject that truly experiences feelings deeply so that experience stresses you out. I don’t know if your sister too gets stressed out as you and I would since we have Fi unless you ask her. Maybe their let live attitude and you can’t influence what happens let’s them not personally feel or associate feelings to the stressful events.
    I'm confused. I got that what I was relating behaviorally to Ni, isn't Ni. So I don't get the further analysis on how my Fi affects my Ni...because isn't what I said, invalid now?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    684, sx/sp.
    6w5 or 6w7 (important distinction).
    -

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elmira View Post
    I'm confused. I got that what I was relating behaviorally to Ni, isn't Ni. So I don't get the further analysis on how my Fi affects my Ni...because isn't what I said, invalid now?
    It is Ni, but Ni is more things.
    -

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