Autistic vs Non-Autistic Fi-ESI men
How do you distinguish a Fi-ESI who’s just shy/awkward and subdued emotionally vs. one who has Asperger’s? I have zero close relationships, poor emotional intelligence in spite of my advanced age, avoid interacting with people out of either disinterest or shame, and people constantly tell me that I look uncomfortable/angry/sad even when I’m not
Last edited by Averroes; 12-04-2022 at 12:11 PM.
hi
Your avatar = high emotional intelligence
doesnt seem unlikely to me that u have autism/HSP/ADHD
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self diagnosed ASD, ADHD, schizotypal/affective
Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
I want to care
if I was better I’d help you
if I was better you’d be better
Human Design 2/4 projector life path 1
Personally I'm not convinced that Asperger syndrome is a thing. To me you are in the Autistic spectrum or you are not . "ASD is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain". It's a Handicap. Autism is mostly diagnosed in early childhood so it's highly unlikely that an Autistic syndrome hasn't been detected before adulthood in our modern societies. And by the way, there is no such thing as an Extrovert Autistic person and things like Autistic EIE or ESE or any other Extrovertly oriented Type because that's antinomical and doesn't make sense since Autism is all about introvertly oriented (self-centered) behaviors and thoughts. That's just my opinion ( and common sense !) but hey, what do I know ?
The Idea of the Autistic Genius has made its way in the collective unconscious and is often associated to the infamous Asperger Syndrome. Movies like Rain Man and his exceptional eidetic memory and characters like Sheldon Cooper or Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch) have also contributed to that fantasised association. At some point almost every Great human being has been diagnosed with Asperger. Strangely enough, a lot of those names are referenced in the IEI gallery of a certain forum member. The thing is that in Rain Man case for instance, great powers comes with great handicap and that's the reality of such condition. Fun rarissim fact : Hypermnesia can be "acquired" as a side effect of a lightning strike. There is a case of a lightning strike survivor of whom some brain circuits have been reconfigured and he became hypermnesic (among other things I guess !). But I digress.
Anyway, I don't have any friend too and I'm socially isolated but that doesn't make me autistic. There are so many other potential explanations to your condition other than Asperger Syndrome for being or feeling socially awkward. Anybody can feel socially awkward in certain (or even all) social situations. You said that you have poor emotional intelligence but that's not how you vibe according to your posts. In fact you are very concerned about your emotional life and your recent adventure with that EIE you talked about in another thread tends to demonstrate that you do actually have an emotional intelligence. As for what people said about you is just what they are reading on your facial expression (or lack thereof) and your body language and draw conclusions. That a cross almost every Fe PolR/Ignoring has to bear since they don't give external signals (info) about their inner state. I would advise you to talk to mental health pro. regardless.
I’ve noticed that my one real friendship with an SEE/LSE feels pretty one sided/parasitic at times. I only ever text her to vent or get her to take me out drinking. I never feel compelled to ask her about her day or share anything other than my problems. I think that could be indicative of low empathy and a poorly developed theory of mind. I feel like I barely ever think about people’s lives beyond the role they’re playing in mine
Last edited by Averroes; 12-04-2022 at 10:53 PM.
@Averroes, (maybe) your sheer presence helps those people
I check in on people I care about, but rarely do I think about their lives unless I’m very interested in them or haven’t quite figured them out. Otherwise it just seems like prying.
Deeper relationships require you to go deeper, I raised myself so I’m pretty emotionally self reliant and am far more careful how and who I express myself to these days. As a rule of thumb, I don’t depend on friends emotionally and do see them as people you can unwind and be goofy with. An exchange of genuine emotions is always nice - but I’ve had codependency issues in the past with people that’s made me very wary about who I let into my space.
The fact that you’re self aware enough to acknowledge your relationships are one sided means you are capable of changing the way you approach people and relationships.
@Averroes
Best way to know for sure is to see if a professional can test you for it. Just be prepared in the eventuality that they either confirm or deny it in your instance.
In the former case, it means you may have an 'answer' of sorts as to why you are having difficulties.
In the latter case, at least it rules out that option, and you can look at other methods of addressing your issues.
I was diagnosed as having Aspergers syndrome, but if/when I say that it's just me explaining what I was told I was diagnosed as, I think 'high-functioning autism' is a completely fine way to refer to myself otherwise.Originally Posted by godslave
Personally I'm not convinced that Asperger syndrome is a thing. To me you are in the Autistic spectrum or you are not . "ASD is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain". It's a Handicap. Autism is mostly diagnosed in early childhood so it's highly unlikely that an Autistic syndrome hasn't been detected before adulthood in our modern societies. And by the way, there is no such thing as an Extrovert Autistic person and things like Autistic EIE or ESE or any other Extrovertly oriented Type because that's antinomical and doesn't make sense since Autism is all about introvertly oriented (self-centered) behaviors and thoughts. That's just my opinion ( and common sense !
The Idea of the Autistic Genius has made its way in the collective unconscious and is often associated to the infamous Asperger Syndrome. Movies like Rain Man and his exceptional eidetic memory and characters like Sheldon Cooper or Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch) have also contributed to that fantasised association. At some point almost every Great human being has been diagnosed with Asperger. Strangely enough, a lot of those names are referenced in the IEI gallery of a certain forum member. The thing is that in Rain Man case for instance, great powers comes with great handicap and that's the reality of such condition. Fun rarissim fact : Hypermnesia can be "acquired" as a side effect of a lightning strike. There is a case of a lightning strike survivor of whom some brain circuits have been reconfigured and he became hypermnesic (among other things I guess !). But I digress.
Anyway, I don't have any friend too and I'm socially isolated but that doesn't make me autistic. There are so many other potential explanations to your condition other than Asperger Syndrome for being or feeling socially awkward. Anybody can feel socially awkward in certain (or even all) social situations. You said that you have poor emotional intelligence but that's not how you vibe according to your posts. In fact you are very concerned about your emotional life and your recent adventure with that EIE you talked about in another thread tends to demonstrate that you do actually have an emotional intelligence. As for what people said about you is just what they are reading on your facial expression (or lack thereof) and your body language and draw conclusions. That a cross almost every Fe PolR/Ignoring has to bear since they don't give external signals (info) about their inner state. I would advise you to talk to mental health pro. regardless.
And yeah, I am definitely not a genius, far from it.
Absolutely ! I'm sure you know about the controversy regarding Dr. Asperger. I've seen many "aspies" who from now on refuse to be labeled with his name. The most weird stuff I read about about Dr. Asperger is that his own child was autistic and he came up with this syndrome in order for his son to be spared. I don't know if it's true because I didn't looked for it seriously and check some timelines because I feel like there maybe some anachronisms in that story. I've also read that he was compared to Oskar Schindler (retrospectively of course !) but again evidences point to another comparison with a whole lot more infamous kind of Doctor ! I think that the truth is in the middle, people in desperate times makes desperate choices and the possibility that Asperger might have been playing "double agent" role is not something that we can easily exclude. People's judgement however is another thing and as John Adams (and Lenin) said : Facts are a stubborn thing.I was diagnosed as having Aspergers syndrome, but if/when I say that it's just me explaining what I was told I was diagnosed as, I think 'high-functioning autism' is a completely fine way to refer to myself otherwise.
And yeah, I am definitely not a genius, far from it.
Honestly I used to think the same until I came across this guy -And by the way, there is no such thing as an Extrovert Autistic person and things like Autistic EIE or ESE or any other Extrovertly oriented Type because that's antinomical and doesn't make sense since Autism is all about introvertly oriented (self-centered) behaviors and thoughts. That's just my opinion ( and common sense !
I thought his stand up was pretty funny, but I honestly feel sad for him. He doesn’t sugarcoat the realties of autism.
I still believe that the majority of people with autism are introverted (I agree with you that it just makes sense).
I know what you mean, it's difficult to not be affected by your own compassion even if we don't want to show it to the person who is making a great effort in order for us to not feel sorry for him or her. It's human though. With that said, I'm curious to know what did you see in this video that made you change your mind ? Unfortunately I haven't see it yet but I'm open to reconsider. Do you consider that he might be : Fe or Te or Ne or Se Lead ? If so which one ?
I think he’s IEE, so Ne lead.
Ok. Let's say that he is a (I'm so sorry for the word that I'm about to use !!) "broken" IEE (the TIM not the person !! ). I say that because as you know with IEE we still have that 4D Fe "issue" and that Se Role which is also probably not expressed. Note that I don't know that person and I'm not sure if I could find an interview of him on YT in order to further investigate his type. Maybe you're onto something so I'll consider Ne dom as a possible exceptional Typing for an outwardly oriented mind Autistic person (which still sounds like a contradiction but I'll add "Atypical" to keep us safe ahah !).
I found an interview with him here if you want to investigate further. It’s a little boring and the interviewer’s questions made me uncomfortable for him, idk why lol - https://youtu.be/X9zD_RK6-swOk. Let's say that he is a (I'm so sorry for the word that I'm about to use !!) "broken" IEE (the TIM not the person !! ). I say that because as you know with IEE we still have that 4D Fe "issue" and that Se Role which is also probably not expressed. Note that I don't know that person and I'm not sure if I could find an interview of him on YT in order to further investigate his type. Maybe you're onto something so I'll consider Ne dom as a possible exceptional Typing for an outwardly oriented mind Autistic person (which still sounds like a contradiction but I'll add "Atypical" to keep us safe ahah !).
It’s possible that I have his type wrong, too.
I accidentally closed the window in which I spend a certain amount of time writing my initial post !!I'll try to rewrite it word for word !
Thanks.
First of all I like the way he thinks and his proper conceptualization of Autism (handicap/disease) which aligns with that of every Psychiatrists and mental Health pro and incidentally, mine ! I like his brain, he is very pragmatic articulated. His Fe is inexistent. His reactions to the host (ESE-N (?)) warmth and humour is next to absolute zero.
I think he's ILI (?) (He's Ni-Ti with a weak Te (?)). Here is my theory (on the fly and very extrapolated !). I think that Autistic persons have a problem with their Super-Ego. Their social persona is kinda underdeveloped (a bit like in some Genetic conditions like Down Syndrome). In fact I think that all their contact function (all the functions on the right of Model A) have a development issue. Note that like I said I'm thinking about it as I'm writing this post. I will probably think about it more seriously in another time.
I've noticed the attitude of the host. She tries to well, normalize his condition by contrasting it with his achievement (books and stuff) which is I believe a projection of her own Te Role all that in a "we are all beautiful, we are all wonderful/ come on board " kind of Fe Lead way. (Edit : I like her benevolence and understanding )
I'm not a fan of the kind of "divide and conquer" thing going on right now and which consists of identifying people and then group them, labeled them as some kind of community and integrate them in a larger group all in the name of some kind of agenda or inclusion of diversity. " What do you identify as ?" seems to be the most important question of this zeitgeist ! Neurodiversity seems to be one of those labels en route to be integrated in a larger group. Autism is not an Identity for God's sake !
Anyway, that was interesting. Sorry for the rambling !
I think I did it ! That's my original* post word for word !
* I reframed some words (just a little touch-up !)
Last edited by godslave; 12-06-2022 at 10:32 AM. Reason: I add stuff that I forgot...
The thing is that professional is not a guarantee of getting objective diagnosis at all. One sided people are probably the worst here or those who take only a cursory glance view without understanding the details.
Going further
This dude tells (in Finnish) that aspergers diagnosis almost ruined his life. The reason was that professionals took the criteria so literally (irony is juicy here) that they told his classmates that he can not interact properly in front of him. He started to seclude himself because he thought that he was the pain in the ass and normal people with their superior social skills only tolerated him and faked it as he had supposedly no way of knowing if they pretended.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_b06XnO66o
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It's definitely possible that it could be a case of misdiagnosis in my case, though I did have notable difficulties in interacting with others/learning social cues from a young age.
A misdiagnosis can have very serious consequences, though, you're right, because it can completely change how a person sees themselves. If they believe that how they have acted in the past was 'abnormal' compared to others, it's only natural that they'd distance themselves from others from then on, to 'protect' themselves.
In some cases, if the child *is* autistic but seems to be otherwise doing okay in life (gets along well with others, no other serious issues preventing development), then it would likewise require a good deal of care when informing them, in case they're accidentally lead to believe that something is wrong with them. In the reverse case (ie. doing poorly in life) then it's possible informing them can be enlightening and freeing to them; but it might also cause their state to decline further, believing that they have been 'cursed' with something that 'can't be cured'.
Well, this one is certainly very different but something is off (it is stiff, robotic)I accidentally closed the window in which I spend a certain amount of time writing my initial post !!
Thanks.
First of all I like the way he thinks and his proper conceptualization of Autism (handicap/disease) which aligns with that of every Psychiatrists and mental Health pro and incidentally, mine ! I like his brain, he is very pragmatic articulated. His Fe is inexistent. His reactions to the host (ESE-N (?)) warmth and humour is next to absolute zero.
https://youtu.be/o6NFgyOVG-4?t=3115
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I will put comments here as I'm watching the video (I'll hit pause and write my observations)
As a reminder, the video starts at 51 minutes (t=3115)
Being autistic is not an invisible disability at least we shouldn't be as categorical with such generalisation. I could see right away in her gaze (pointing up and unfocused) that she might have some sort of condition and it tooks me 2 seconds to notice it. Autism is not always invisible.
She said that it's in music that you can see the strengths (interesting choice of word) of Autism (again, not necessarily that's a generalisation) and then she talks about subjective sensory informations and pain because of her sound sensitivity. She said that she creates music and of course performing is indeed essential in any musical work (re)creation (interpretation) but does she compose music ? I don't know. I've noticed the rather dramatic reference to Beethoven but that kind of comparaison doesn't surprise me, exceptional people compare themselves only to exceptional people
52:50 She talked about "intersection" (this word was accentuated ) between her Autistic perception allowing her "to experience music as a living breathing entity". She basically experience synesthesia (2 to 4 % of the population according to some "studies") another reference to exceptionality. Basically music triggers her imagination and senses which is something expected from a musically inclined sensibility btw. I wonder if she has perfect pitch ? I bet she would have mentioned it if it was the case ! Anyway, all the arguments which were supposed to demonstrate the strengths of Autism in music are in fact subjective...
53:18 here I see a red flag. She said that her Autism diagnosis was the best birthday gift of her life. It's something I see often in Typology (The INFJ 2% MBTI nonsense) and in people who test high in IQ tests or people who are accepted in Mensa. The label alternates their self-perception ; from now on they can put a name on their suffering. The label is like that quote from Uncle Ben (Spiderman) "With great power comes great responsibilities" and all of a sudden a feeling of actually being really special comes from tha "confirmation" and some of them are instrumentalized or have this sense of "calling of destiny" to fight for a greater purpose.
53:31 this is what I was talking about in my post above (communities integrating a larger group), I was actually perceiving it (like a feeling in the zeitgeist) but this video confirms what I thought. I feel like a lot of what they are advocating for already exist and that there is no need to recreate groups and label them as a community to fight for the rights they supposedly don't have. I love Wendy Carlos , she's a genius but for some reasons I've never heard her name associated to all those movements. This is why I feel like some significant battles have already been won a long time ago.
at 55:41 another interview begins. she start to talk about her "sensory profile" (what the heck is that ?) and it sounds like HSP but again it's expected from ASD however, her sensitivity to "nearly imperceptible sounds" points to the exceptional factor of course. Her prosody is kinda "by the book" in fact it feels exactly as if she is reading a book ( note her pauses, you can literally feel the punctuation in her speech pattern esp commas and periods).
Yeah, I think she is indeed reading a text ! I can see her eyes following the screen in front of her. It's interesting to notice that her head movements are pretty well synchronized with her speech ( almost perfect so it feels overplayed). 59:09 to 59:18 she almost said that she values Si and Te.
59:38 OMG ! Here we go !! I think I'm gonna stop watching here ! Jesus Christ ! I said it the post above but Autism is not an Identity and what in the world do Genders and Intersextionality have to do with Autism ! I'm sure Freud would have loved to live in our time !
And she goes on with a rambling that I don't understand ! She seems to postulate that a discrimination is going on. She seems upset because some people in the medical field refuse to diagnose her as autistic because the gender she identify with (I have to be prudent now because appearances are often misleading ahaha !) which sounds like a nonsense to me. "Cisgender ? white-pass ? Neurotypical passing ?" I had to google those because I didn't know what they meant.
1:01:47 to 1:02:31 Sounds like enneagram 6 and she seems to blame people for her constant fear and second-guessing people's intentions. sounds like Satre : "L'enfer, c'est les autres " (Hell, is the others ).
1:03:16 to 1:05:12 Okay, I will definitely stop watching here. Victim rhetoric, and social activism she's clearly a kind of SJW.
I rewind the video to the actual moment where she begun to talk (50:35). "My pronouns are she, her and hers" , it makes sense ! followed by Ti and Fi informations. And then she talked about her fascination for Horses.
If I had to type her making abstraction of her condition I would say LIIbut I feel like she's Ni Dom !
I've come to the conclusion that you really cannot. Hell, it's a bit of a meme that being ILI is just code for having mild Aspergers and they even diagnosed me with that if I'm going full disclosure mode.
Autism, if it's really a thing, seems to be an atypical overvaluation offor their type (i.e. most of them ain't Alphas and the ones that are actually fail at
hard enough to get mistaken for Gammas and Deltas). Aspies are "little professors" as many a psychologist studying them put it. They learned fast and knew and were dedicated to learning all there was about the thing that attracted their obsessive interest.
I'll admit they got me read on that one. How do you change the world for the better? I can tell ya exactly how you'd go about it and, sadly, it's the exact same way you'd go about changing it for the worse. Not to get political but let's just say liberals get this and most of my fellow conservatives not only don't but seem intent on ensuring my side never does. They're intent on being the Washington Generals facing off against the Harlem Globetrotters. Yeah, I'd rather be the Globetrotters in this example yet whenever I'd attempt to suggest how I/we can I get slandered and thrown out the group by a fucker who glows so radiantly in the dark I'm shocked I haven't gotten a lethal dose of polonium in my Sushi yet!
She is definitely a static while the man in question is dynamic. Look at their eyes. She has heightened Si problems (which is oddly very mobilizing and close to reality how it should manifest) while he has heightened Fi problems (I'd like to postulate that similar Se problems are in the realm of direct reality testing - I definitely have those sort of issues - not as being objective but...).If I had to type her making abstraction of her condition I would say LII
Last edited by The Reality Denialist; 12-07-2022 at 07:52 AM.
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
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https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
Jesus is King stops black magic and closes portals
self diagnosed ASD, ADHD, schizotypal/affective
Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
I want to care
if I was better I’d help you
if I was better you’d be better
Human Design 2/4 projector life path 1
Yet, the man talks in Ip mode and Feynman in Ej mode. (I suspect Feynman is C sub).
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
idiosyncratic type
Life is a joke but do you have a life?
Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org
LIE. Listen to him. He talks what is something might be (Ej) vs autistic man who talks about what he has experienced (Ip).
MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
Winning is for losers
Sincerely yours,
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ILE-Ne?
he is also a sociopath and a narc
https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
Jesus is King stops black magic and closes portals
self diagnosed ASD, ADHD, schizotypal/affective
Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
I want to care
if I was better I’d help you
if I was better you’d be better
Human Design 2/4 projector life path 1
2 me u are just a somewhat shy and introverted nerd boy that has self-esteem issues because ur constantly overly comparing yourself to Chad males and the Stacies that do wildtakes over them- but that might be sugar coating things a bit too much. I mean I don't really know you.
Read the official traits. See if u have any of the symptoms. Autists have lack of boundaries though. They don't seem to understand or comprehend boundaries, like when Kara told so many personal things about her life. The average normie Karen is the opposite of that- they are more closed off and ultra guarded about anything emotional and are like 'u have to use Te business' all day in a bitchy & stern demeanor. Introverted nerd ppl don't tend to care so much about "being normal" but I mean they still understand those boundaries more or less kinda.
Ur probably just shy and want people to be more 'real' but to be fair most people are masochists ((and shadow sadists cuz its like two sides of the same coin)) that are turned on when somebody is manipulating them or playing a power game with them. If ur not doing that with them, they don't know how to quite handle u and ur gonna have awkward relations with ppl. They can't really handle human honesty. I trigger some ESEs when I say this because they say I'm not being fair or nice enough to the Stacies but - it's just true lol.
I had weak boundaries when I was 12-16 and up until I was 20 to a lesser extent - I would annoy the shit out of people by making gay and slightly racist jokes. On my first tinder date with a Polish girl years ago at 20, I thought it was appropriate to start calling her every Polish swear word that I knew to "neg" her. When I was 16, one of my cousins brought me to his girlfriend's house and started pretending that they were just friends to hide their relationship from her dad, I didn't realize what they were doing, and straight up asked him if it was ok for me to flirt with her/try to pick her up seeing as they're just friends
There's no way I'm not autistic now that I think about it - I've gotten better in this area, but I definitely have a long history of trying to treat people like video game NPCs with dialogue trees and speaking at them instead of with them. Even on my recent date with an EIE, I just went way overboard with the "playful" insults to compensate for my weak conversation skills
Last edited by Averroes; 12-08-2022 at 12:27 PM.
by ur logic the jocks and popular ppl are autistic too (except they were opnely racist). u may be autistic anyway but thats not it and u dont seem to be using patterns much
https://linktr.ee/tehhnicus
Jesus is King stops black magic and closes portals
self diagnosed ASD, ADHD, schizotypal/affective
Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
I want to care
if I was better I’d help you
if I was better you’d be better
Human Design 2/4 projector life path 1
the way I did it was clumsy and more likely to make someone upset or confused than laugh, especially in highschool. My mind makes weird, hyper-specific connections that most people’s don’t so my jokes and observations don’t land a lot of the time
Last edited by Averroes; 12-08-2022 at 01:23 PM.
Just the fact that I’ve had persistent social/relational issues my entire life should be proof enough. I can’t build an emotional connection with another human being and even something as simple as saying “hi, how are you?” to a coworker with my camera turned off feels draining
seems you have some baggage and growing to do in this department. at least you are self aware.
edit: i have my own baggage so its not a case of pot calling the kettle black.
Last edited by timber; 12-10-2022 at 01:52 PM.
social media technology is a spook though. nobody really feels connected using it. its just a proxy. but your issues connecting, it would be a challenge for a Fi socials club as they are traditionally thought of the ones "doing the leg work" to make connections happen.
I don't see autists making jokes about gay people unless the two are both in on it ((and autistic ppl themselves are often super serious and not very joke-y anyway, they often can't even tell the difference)), the empathetic bond between autism and glbt seems to be super strong... that's just common behavior from any young man lol. Those weak and pathetic faggetz, smh. Why can't they just be real men like k0rpsey?
I really don't think there's anything wrong with you (I mean 'wrong' as in an official diagnosis of a developmental disability), and you might be looking for a 'label' as an excuse to justify some anti-social or immature behavior.
You probably are severly butthurt that ur a beta male and not a Chad though. Chads don't make fun of gays, they instead more condescendingly "help" fags or just ignore us... another iei male explained it to be where it's like you saved a panda from a well. Anyway it's obnoxious seeing gays so weak and victim-y like that anyway, I don't think that's the entire picture even tho the average gay in high school is going to act like that probably and in a way this forum doesn't ever graduate from high school. I'm not a victim, and I'm not Satan incarnate- but it's boring if people just see you as the complex and gray character you really are though, so bring on the faggy pandas and the evil gay perverts that want to harrass breeders and bother them from their white trash farmlands.
To be clear, by gay jokes I mean acting “sus” and making a complete fool of myself for attention. I was never really a bully. I think I acted more like a stereotypical ADHD kid up until I was 13-14 - I was outgoing and always outside, but once I got to highschool I just couldn’t keep up with my peers mentally and haven’t recovered since. To this day, I still feel like a crass, overly honest middle schooler trapped in a grown man’s body
Last edited by Averroes; 12-11-2022 at 02:01 PM.
Well, from my own experience the "Gamma" quadra can be somewhat accurately characterized as the "autistic" quadra. I mean it's even a meme that ILI/INTJ is code for victims of mild Asperger's...
Some of my other autistic traits:
Perseveration, which is what I'm doing now
Normal people often don’t notice when I’m being sarcastic/joking
Usually feel more drawn to/inspired by objects and art than people. Some of my special interests are rap music, streetwear, cars, interior design, architecture, photography, skateboarding, anything Japanese, etc. mostly for aesthetic reasons though
Concrete/overly-linear thinker. I'm good enough at math, excel and learning rote procedures to hold down an office job, but I've always hated writing English papers and have trouble with open-ended questions like "what does X mean to you?", "How do you embody X/[corporate buzzword] trait in your day to day life?
People have always been "inexplicably" put off by me even though I'm supposedly above average in looks, have good hygiene and grooming, dress well etc., probably because the way I move and speak gives off an uncanny valley effect. Even when I think I'm making a good impression, I'm most likely not. People suddenly becomes boring, awkward, antisocial and too busy when i try to build a rapport with them
I connect with people through shared interests as opposed to experiences, dreams, hopes, aspirations, life philosophies, etc. I don't have any emotionally resonant, colorful stories to tell because I've been a robot my entire life
Last edited by Averroes; 12-13-2022 at 02:28 PM.
It's possible that you may have some sort of mild aspergers, but its not really likely. You understand how you off put people. People with autism dont. But I think you are more so traumatized from events when you were younger. The trauma keeps you in this low self esteem robotic state that you self perpetuate through a quiet bitterness due to feeling inadequate in the social and dating realm.
You can fix this Brotha
Ah but here's a good question. What if that Autistic actually bothered to use their meme-worthy focus and attention on figuring out the how and why they put people off, actually succeed in finding the reason, and then using that knowledge to not put people off?
This ties into another of my own epiphanies. See, once you hit IQ 130 or more you've got a choice in regards to what you're ultimately gonna focus on with that now officially "big brain" of yours. You're gonna either focus on the "hard" sciences and go into STEM or you're gonna focus on "people" and get into fields like psychology, philosophy, theology, etc.
Now imagine an autistic who chooses to delve into the latter without any sense of pride and who somehow either doesn't have or successfully keeps major psychological issues (e.g. attachment issues) from really affecting them and their conclusions. "Charisma" is, if you really study it, a "skill" that can be learned by and large much like how PUA's talk of "Game".
How and what a given learnable "skill" relates to this reality is where most fall short. The true autistic will likely get snagged upon one such psychological crag or another for they'd likely fail to account for or even accept that interpersonal relationships are not, will not, and can not ever be as clean, pure, and utterly infallible as mathematics. People are people, not numbers. You will never be able to solve for X in the ultimate end if you're dealing with another sentient being because it can and will (God's grace permitting) do something literally no finite being could have seen coming.
Oh it can get pretty damn close don't get me wrong. Like I've said time and time again the more miserable you make a person the more predictable they become and that's why everything in the modern world is hellbent on making us all as miserable as possible but (much to the chagrin of our satanic rulers) you cannot ever make a true human truly miserable without their final consent and descent into that mostly unnamed 8th deadly sin: Despair.
I was way more miserable years ago yet now I'm actually kinda joyful. Yeah, it's all getting worse from my end, but I also know that this shit is like a rubber band and my enemies are pulling as hard as they can while I'm just sitting there as I observe the band fraying ever so subtlety at a point close to my fingers and thus, I know what's coming next. That's the "snap" point and boy oh boy is that a bad thing for my enemies given how logic, conservation of energy, and just how far away they are from me at present would work out given that math.
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