What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I work as a social media manager / customer service rep for various retail companies. I've always been fairly skilled with a computer and I enjoy the autonomy it gives me and the fact I get to work from the comfort of my own home. I'm quite socially anxious so I love the fact I don't have to speak to colleagues every day. I dislike the fact it's really low pay and the work itself doesn't feel like I'm contributing much value to the world or growing spiritually in any way.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
My biggest hobby is video games. I love story-based adventures the most, especially ones where you get to make choices that impact the ending. I like feeling a part of something bigger than myself and being transported to a new world where I can immerse myself into different lives. I'm also big into h tome decor and interior design and I can spend ages on various softwares just putting together different aesthetics and themes.
What are your values, and why?
I think one of my biggest values is self-reflection. I'm big on philosophy and self-improvement and I try to keep an open mind. I've always been very introspecting and questioning about my character and so I've tried hard to be a good person and learn from past mistakes. I think this is because was incredibly sensitive as a child and I wanted to learn more about how I could best overcome my anxieties and have some control over my reactions. I also use this awareness to empathize with others as best as I can, (although on occasion I've been impatient with people if they don't listen to my advice or experiences).
I also value hedonism to some degree and believe that life is short and we should not take it too seriously and take pleasure in the things we have access to. This can cause me to be reckless with my spending. I spent a lot of my childhood feeling rather restricted (living with strict, conservative grandparents) so as soon as I became financially independent I've been living exactly the way I've always wanted to.
Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
I'm in a healthy place right now with family and friends. I love being part of a (small) community and there's nothing that brings me more joy when I see people from different areas of my life coming together and getting along - it gives me such a feeling of connection which I crave. I really dislike it if two people that are important to me don't get along as it feels like an attack on me personally.
I love being part of a social atmosphere where everyone is expressing themselves but I have a lot of trouble initiating that myself so I really appreciate when others can do that for me. I'm much better at one-to-one conversations and love it when I can skip the small talk and get deep with someone.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I look firstly for a shared emotional experience (e.g. we both feel the same way about a certain book we've read or movie we grew up with).
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I don't really enjoy being lectured or scolded in anyway as I grew up with very strict guardians, so if ever anyone raises their voice or adopts a more serious tone, it can trigger an impulsive reaction in me. I'm a fairly calm and peaceful person in general, so if the atmosphere ever turns more severe I can get very emotional.
What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?
My friends like that I'm very calm, patient, a good listener/advisor, youthful but not immature, logical and sensible. I like that I carry a childlike sense of wonder with me at all times and I'm very good at seeing the beauty in things and being moved by aesthetic experiences.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I can be too shy and retiring on a day-to-day basis and sometimes need others to speak up for me. I can repress my feelings only to let them bubble when I've been pushed too hard. I can come across as aloof and unenthusiastic and unsympathetic about things even though I don't realize it.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
I'm very good at planning for near future events because I can be a bit of a perfectionist and want to make sure every detail is taken care of - e.g. I'm planning a house move and I'm making an extensive spreadsheet of every I will need, how much it will cost etc.
However, I have a big issue with organizing my day-to-day life. I can let things pile up in a mess and I can put off important tasks, so I do appreciate anyone who can help me in this area.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I don't like anything to do with business, finances, contracts etc. My brain has never been great with anything to do with stats or numbers. I like the simple things, flowers, water, earth, animals, that sort of thing. More than others, I enjoy immersing myself in culture or whatever local news event or current happening. I enjoy thinking how things can improve or look better.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?
I've never been the most externally ambitious person so a lot of my goals have been related to my spiritual growth and mental wellbeing. I just aim to get to a point where I am for the most part emotionally stable and fulfilled. It's been a life long journey for me as a child who was limited in so many ways with mental health issues and a conservative upbringing.
If you won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore, what would you do?
I think I'd become a creative. I've always wanted to be good at something arty but because I work full-time I just don't have the motivation to immerse myself into it. I'd finally be able to afford to buy quality materials and attend different courses until I find something that really sticks. I'd make it my life mission to just get really good at a particular craft and perhaps have an Etsy store (not because I want the money, just because I'd love to see my work being appreciated).
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
I like silliness and goofiness and cheekiness, people who dress weirdly, people who are authentically themselves even if they're rather eccentric.
I'm annoyed by people who are too structured and don't deviate from their routines.
In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?
It fulfills me whenever I attend a communal event such as a pride march or a sports game etc. I just love feeding off other's good vibes and feeling like I'm a part of something bigger.
How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?
Quite the opposite, I'm very withdrawn in general and prefer to blend into the crowd. I do make an exception though when it comes to how I dress or present myself if I'm in a social situation as I want to be seen for who I really am, so this causes me to overthink about what I will wear that express myself but also gain the approval from others.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
Though I struggle with organizing my own life, I'm more than willing to help others with household chores etc. I expect others to be able to compromise and divide up chores so that we both have our individual jobs and we don't step on each others toes.
Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?
I react very calmly to this sort of situation. I'll usually offer sympathy and give them a hug or ask if they need a drink etc. Though I'm not the most expressive with my own emotions, I do feel a sense of kinship when someone expresses themselves to me in this way. I believe I'm good at being a supportive advisor and I know the right thing to say to help them feel better.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
I've been very worried about my upcoming house move, mainly because it's going to put a strain on my financial situation and I'm going to have to make sacrifices which I've always been pretty bad at. I get fearful if I think my freedom is going to be taken away from me and the thing that gives me the most freedom is having enough money to give me choice.
What are your spiritual or religious beliefs and why do you hold them?
I'm an atheist but I feel very spiritual in the presence of nature and animals. There's something about just sitting and watching the world do it's thing that brings me out of my head (which I'm in most of the time).
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
I will come from the angle of explaining why it's so important to me emotionally to get what I want and hope that someone can relate to this and find a way to compromise with m
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
I get very angry when someone insists they're right about something even when it's been logically explained to them that they are incorrect, or that they could be incorrect. I think it's the fact that someone is so stubborn not to open their mind to an alternative possibility, because I'm someone who is so unsure about everything and wants to see every possible side to a story before I make up my mind about which side I'm on. So if I see someone who has such a fixed opinion with little basis, I get very angry and confused.
What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?
I'm just incredibly sarcastic and cheeky.
What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?
I was very withdrawn, anxious and hypersensitive to being laughed at. I wasn't very affectionate or open with people. I'd often prefer to spend my free time by myself or a close friend, making up stories, playing with imaginary friends etc. I was very drawn to fantasy and magic and wished I was in another world where I would be seen for who I really was.
I'm a lot more practical these days and I've become more affectionate with people (though I can still be aloof at times). I've also develop more of a backbone so I'm not as emotional (or maybe I just repress emotions more). I've spend a lot of time soul-searching so I've developed more of a sense-of-self and so I'm slightly less prone to worry about what others think (but I still have a long way to go).
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
I went to an opening night at a local art gallery and they turned the entire venue into a sort of 'dreamworld' where everyone had to dress in black and white and there were all these super surreal circus performers and everyone got really into it, and I felt like I was home for the first time.