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Thread: ILI Ni - EII Ne relationships

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    Question ILI Ni - EII Ne relationships

    Note: This thread is specifically about relationships between ILI Ni and EII Ne people with a clearly defined subtype, not ILI - EII in general


    What are friendships between those types like? How about romantic relationships?
    Can such relationships last?
    What is the dynamic like?
    Are they sufficiently stimulating for both parties?
    Do people of these types get along well with each other? Is communication easy?
    Would such a relationship pose any risks to the safety of those involved?
    Where does this kind of relationship rank?


    If anyone here knows of an example of such a relationship (or has been in one themselves) , how did it go?
    Alternatively, any example of a relationship between a benefactor of Inert subtype and a beneficiary of Contact subtype would be helpful

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    That's a lot of intuition.
    Idk the specifics but what stands out to me is that it would be rather abstract, out of touch with reality.
    Both types need to get in touch with the S domain and neither can offer much there.
    Worse, one can offer more than the other and that may bring animosity.

    I'd say friends could happen for occasional chats but more would be strenuous.

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    I'm EII Ne and I was with an ILI girl that did not seem ILI-Te, (I didn't see her Te that often) so if I had to guess she was probably the other subtype.

    What are friendships between those types like? How about romantic relationships?
    We went from friends to dating very fast. Most of the relationship revolved around her feeling very comfortable around me because of Fi. She had a crave of Fi it seemed and appreciated that the most about me. She felt like she could open up to me easily and she thought that made things between us stand out from other romantic relationships she had. We were very very close and she opened up to me alot. Romantically there was a ton of closeness and told me she felt very understood by me.

    On my end the number one thing I noticed that stood out to me when I was with her, was that when I spoke to her it felt like my thoughts were forming and becoming clear as I spoke. Like my mind was opening up or something. Just talking to her I got clarity with my own thoughts. It was weird and not something I experienced with other people that much.


    Can such relationships last?
    I definitely think so. I'm not in a relationship with the ILI anymore, and it wasn't exactly typed related, though I could the role typed played in it. But if we didn't have different future goals I think I would have married her actually. So ime I could see it lasting for sure.


    What is the dynamic like?
    The dynamic was interesting because it seemed like we both subconsciously tried to become what the other person wanted/needed. Not in a bad I-can't-be-myself kind of way, it was subconscious it seemed.

    Naturally I was like an emotional soundboard for her. Where I tried to compensate was, I took on a little bit of an aggressor role, I initiated things physically, I was the one that broke the touch barrier and showed I was physically attracted to her. I probably tried to subconsciously fill a gap.

    She subconsciously took on a caregiver role. I mean she was incredible honestly. She offered to pay for everything whenever we went out, there were times where I had to stop her and pay for stuff just to even the score. When she'd invite me over she learned my grandma's recipe of my favorite dish, (which is from a foreign country), just to feed me and keep my satisfied. She had my favorite drinks, my favorite tv show on, just to keep me around. She was the perfect girlfriend on paper honestly. She even tried to take my shoes off for me, I had to stop that because it made me feel like too much of a child lol, it was flattering though. She asked me for nothing except company. I don't think she realized she was taking on this role, it was just how she responded to me.

    So, overall I was the one who initiated things physically and gave her a shoulder to vent and cry on, and she provided tons of accommodations, room, board, food, and your favorite tv show lol.

    Are they sufficiently stimulating for both parties?
    There was definite stimulation, emotional stimulation for her, she loved being able to be vulnerable and open up to someone. The funny thing was I rarely did that with her, but I also never felt the need. I didn't feel like she had to be a shoulder for me to lean on, I kinda liked it the way it was. And my mind was very stimulated from talking to her, she was like a mental soundboard for me, like I said just sharing my thoughts out loud to her (especially about typology) helped form my thoughts more solid and helped me see them clearly, I felt like I got new insights and ideas from saying things out loud to her.


    Do people of these types get along well with each other? Is communication easy?
    Yes. And Yes. I do remember a couple times though where we misunderstood each other.

    It was a misunderstanding in how she takes much longer than me to observe something and make a decision, to me it can seem like her mind is made up but she actually is still making up her mind. I'm wired different my mind is made up much quicker and usually doesn't change unless I'm given a reason to. And she also mistakes decisions I make as temporary and like my mind is still being made up, when in reality my mind is already made up.

    For example, I eat a huge meal. She asks me if I want seconds, I tell her no I'm full, (and when I say I'm full I mean I don't want any food for a long time, like 2-3 hours), 5 minutes later she'll ask me again if I want seconds lol, (in her mind when I said I was full she thought I meant I was full but maybe in a few minutes I'll change my mind). Things like that caused some misunderstanding, but they weren't anything serious.

    There was one time we had a Ni/Ne sort of conversation, she did not like Fe/Ti (She knew typology), she jokingly was like "What is Fe/Ti good for why do these people exist." I pointed to a number of examples of what Fe and Ti are good for, pretty surface level stuff, like polite customer service, and E=Mc squared, idk what it means but I'm pretty sure it's important since it was a scientific revolution. After that she actually told me I had a point lol.



    Would such a relationship pose any risks to the safety of those involved?
    Uh, I don't think so. Not for type reasons at least lol.


    Where does this kind of relationship rank?
    IME, with only one person, it was the second best relationship I've had.

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    It has not worked for me long term, however the individual I was with is EII-Fi.

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    I have spoken of an EII I used to know before he sadly passed away. This will go for being the Benefactor in relationships in general I'd reckon.

    I never really got exactly why the older man was such a big fan of mine but hey I'll take positive opinions of myself and the interactions they lead to where I can get em'. I didn't get nearly the charge out of our interactions he seemed to but I did get something and it wasn't something I was eager to question or attempt to challenge.

    He got something out of me disproportionate to what I got out of him but he never seemed to pick up on that and as it was all still a net positive I just let him get more out of me than I was getting out of him. This was before I learned about things like attachment theory and the like but even then I understood that a purely "Transactional" mindset in the field of interpersonal relationships was inherently toxic and dare I say not what God intended (I'm Catholic for the unaware). What really mattered in this context was that we were both having a good time and who was having the "better" time and how that might be equalized was in my eyes a demonic mindset that'd ruin what we had.

    I really am sad the man's gone now. I would have liked to have more interactions with him so I could sus more of this out in the "visceral" realm. I only really connected the dots in regards to a great many things shortly after he died. If only I would have just came out and asked: "I have no idea why you like me so much my dude. I'm cold, crass, vulgar in my language and distant to all but my own direct family. I'm obviously keeping everyone else here at a great emotional distance. Yet you seem to not even notice this and hang on to my every word and deed. Why?"

    This is a thing we must all learn to do if we want to save ourselves from psychological damnation. Tell other people what you want. Ask them directly any question that's burning at your heart and soul at the moment. Be not afraid for if they truly love and value you such behavior will be seen as a gift and an example of absolute trust in themselves from your end. Trust is a two way street after all. If it is to ever work they must reciprocate.

    Value not the "fluff" of happy happy feel good shit in the moment. Value instead the deeper trust and faith you can have in another if you ask the hard questions and come out the other end with a clear and iron-clad knowledge of the other person. You'll never know what boundaries the other person has if you don't ask about or test them. Without that knowledge you'll never know if you can really trust them when the shit hits the fan...

    (P.S. Don't go nuclear with the tests folks. Don't Cheat on your partner to "test" if they truly love you for example. There are limits to this and if you overstep them it's your fault for ruining everything period).
    Last edited by End; 03-25-2024 at 04:06 AM.

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