Different ITR suitable for different lifestyles/ life paths/ careers?
I was sitting thinking about what career I would like to have had if I could turn back time..like the song..
Teacher? Public library manager? Some sort of job in TV? Teaching seems like something I could have done- in particular an art teacher.
However, if I imagine being happily married to a wonderful dual..I'm not sure I see myself as a teacher in that scenario. Even with the help of a dual, it seems like too much of a hectic job where you have to really give it your all. Maybe it is just too hard to imagine because it seems like a tough job to me, because I don't feel particularly skilled atm. (I actually am a qualified teacher btw lol). But if I imagine myself being with a different type, for example an SEI, then I for some reason can picture myself doing something exhausting and rewarding like teaching? I remember reading that look-a-likes can be good relationships if you live in a 'tough environment'. In Gulenko's book. There is also a bit of subtle competition with look-a-likes so that could help push you career wise I guess. Also, I guess this particular relation is also known as business partners so maybe it is a good pairing for focusing on career related goals.
So my question is, do you think that particular ITR can help you achieve particular ambitions in life?
Perhaps if I can't imagine myself as a teacher, even with the support of a dual, well then maybe it never really was my true calling. I guess what a dual might do, is help you find a niche- push you to find a career that works for you, regardless of whether it's your dream field or not.
Sorry if it seems like a dumb question- the descriptions of ITR do give us a good overview of what each type of ITR can offer. But I thought it might be interesting to think about the postive impact that non dual relationships can have on a person? If you find yourself in a non-dual relationship.
Also, do you notice certain types of people tend to get into particular ITR?
So for example, I know two gay activity couples. Both couples have good careers. One couple is a very quiet pair, who don't have a lot of friends- happy to spend their free time alone (it seems). The other couple are very extroverted with loads of friends and like partying a lot- they get to share a fun, exciting lifestyle together.
Last edited by Bethany; 06-24-2022 at 07:17 PM.
This has crossed my mind a handful of times.
Sometimes I think of Activity relations, for example, as a dynamic where each partner pushes the other to chase their ambitions; and in reality, that is how I have seen long-term Activity relationships play out.
With Duality, there is not as much of a push to achieve certain things because partners completely cover each other’s weak areas. What one aspires to, the other is reasonably competent in. This creates an atmosphere of comfort - a classic family environment. I see what you mean by, teaching wouldn’t have the same impact for you if you didn’t feel that “push” from a partner (not an Se push but just a psychological charge sort of thing).
I imagine having a lookalike LII partner would influence me to take on the role of a housewife, no matter what career path I would take. LIIs always give me a strong urge to “take care” of them. They are also good at making me question habits in myself that I otherwise wouldn’t, so I could see that as a potential catalyst for career advancement.
Any Te ego is good from my experience for encouraging me to pursue my ambitions, and I am more efficient in reaching goals when I have one by my side. From my Fi base perspective, Ti egos don’t really care about what you’re doing as much as that it doesn’t affect what they’re doing.
Last edited by PinKDiGiT18; 06-25-2022 at 02:45 AM.
I guess it all depends on a number of things, whether a person (of any type) will push you in an ideal career direction- including age you meet them and also what kind of person they are, outside of their type.
When I was at uni I knew a dual, who liked me, and although we never got together, I do wonder if we had, would we have stayed together. He went down the art route and became an art teacher. It would have been quite young to meet 'the one' but who knows, we could have been art teachers together. I do know a dual couple who are both high school English teachers and I'm sure it makes the job less stressful, having each other to depend on for specific career related support.
I was not in a healthy mental place in my young twenties but I did on occasion date people- this included an SEI and an SLI, also an SEE. I also rememeber being at a party and talking to an SLE and my friend told me he liked me. I did think he was interesting but didn't persue it. At this point, I was just about to go into teaching. I think my big mistake was that I chose to train as a high school English teacher rather than an art teacher. I am not the best with language, although I did pull it off at times. If I'd have been dating one of those people I mentioned, maybe they would have been able to support me. And even if I didn't like it in the end, I don't know, I might have ended up doing something education related afterwards. Something a bit more fulfilling then I'm doing atm. At the moment I'm in an ok-paid job, but it's completely unchallenging and a bit dull. It's not a bad job at all, and I'm lucky considering the economic uncertainty atm. But I was made for something more challenging- as a kid I was super hard-working at school.
I like what you said about 'a psychological charge'. This is kinda what I mean..would I feel the need to push myself to do something as challenging as teaching (maybe it does get easier over the years..but it's one of those jobs, where you make sacrifices because it has an interesting side to it). Would I care so much about having a highly stimulating job if I had a dual, or even a semi-dual? When I imagine dating the SEI or the SLI..I sort of can imagine myself being an art teacher..like I would need more fulfilment outside of the relationship. If I was with an SEI, I could also imagine having a baby and a nice family life but also not feeling pressure to have a big family. SEIs also make me want to push myself spiritually..
I've never been highly attracted to my activity partner. I suspect part of the reason is because my 'te' and 'si' are under-developed, and maybe always were destined to be a little bit lol. The art teacher SLE I mentioned earlier is with an EIE now- who works in TV. Yeah, I think maybe people who are driven and career focused (but not privileged to start with) might be types to end up with an activity partner.
I think it's also worth considering that people who end up with duals might be the type of people who need duality more. The kind of people who struggle in their early adulthood for example..so it might be that a lot of people who end up with duals, would struggle to achieve huge ambitions, with or without a dual. They might need stability more than they need exciting career opportunities. They may be more than capable..but might still prefer stability over risk. (Not saying all dual couples fit into this description but a fair few?)
Oh and if I was with an illusionary type? Depends on the person. If they were a creative type, maybe I'd want to be more creative in my work too.
Not sure I can imagine being with an ILI lol. Maybe they'd make loads of money and I could work part time haha.
Maybe the lesson is..don’t go into teaching lol. It seemed like a straight-forward career path for someone who wanted to get back on track, after a period of struggle. But maybe I should have taken the leap and done something different.
It’s a lot of dwelling, but I don’t think in an unhealthy way.
@PinKDiGiT18 thanks for your response
Last edited by Bethany; 06-25-2022 at 11:30 AM.
Sorry I'm not really sure what you're asking.
I like my activity partner because it's usually easy for me to talk to them, and generally I have social anxiety and it's hard for me to talk to ppl but I usually find talking to LSIs very easily and we can talk about lots of things for hours. It is like a fresh breath of air as that saying goes. I don't know how this relates to the working world, but it's probably connected in some way. The person I'm semi-serious with right now is an LSI. =D
Lol soz. And hi
Asking 2 things:
1. Do you think certain ITR are better for helping you advance in your career? What types are they and in what different circumstances are they helpful? Eg. mirrors tend to be competitive so may help each other get on the career lady quickly at a young age. Having success early on might help you thrive in your chosen field?
2. Do you spot any interesting trends regarding different ITR? What type of people end up in each of the different ITR? I don’t mean socionics types. For example…depressed people end in particular ITR? Or extremely extroverted people end up in particular ITR? Or si types end up together, anything really.
That’s nice you get on with LSIs. I cannot keep up with them haha. I do get on ok with a female LSI at work..maybe it helps being the same gender. I read somewhere that activity partners can be lacking in their ability to emotionally support each other..so if you’re the same gender maybe that’s less of an issue..
Also it doesn’t surprise me you like LSIs, coz you have rich, complex views and have an expressive way with language. I could see LSIs liking that. I like IEEs coz they are happy to listen to me talk about my many problems lol. I like SEIs because I love chit chat..it helps me relax and come out of myself.
i don’t have social anxiety..but I prefer when people are warm or emotionally expressive..If not I don’t know how to get a convo started lol.
Last edited by Bethany; 06-25-2022 at 07:22 PM.
@Bethany I think it's completely up to the individual person how far they want to advance in their career, since having a good career is more or less how well you can narcissistically exploit/backstab a large number of people, so I don't know how intertype even comes to play in it. Sorry that answer was probably really Te polr and maybe wrong, but it's how I view it. =D Maybe the person that encourages you to be your best narcissistic self- I do kinda see Mirrors playing that role a lot. IRL I've noticed EIEs will want to empower me and vice versa, I tend to like and agree with their views.
Depression stereotypically is a rational thing ((so Exxj or Ixxj)) - irrational types are more carefree to get that depressed the way rational types do ime, as taking everything so seriously makes a person naturally depressed. They are often given a lot of authority tho because of it tho, cuz it's this kinda socetial instinctual thing to trust a person that's serious and rational. I don't know, I think I've fooled a lot of people before by pretending to be an EII when I really don't give a shit and I just want to watch hot Chads throat fuck each other all day.
I can be sad, but my moods feel so much in flux it's hard to say.
Thinking types naturally aren't that good with emotional support, not like we are- my LSI boyfriend even calls me an angel sometimes. I tell him I'm no angel lol I'm just a F type... but I like his knowledge about things as it's also about topics I'm interested in.
I mentioned it before but I think that people who are aspiring middle class types might end up in activity relations. (I don't mean you @Shazaam, just in case it sounds like I'm saying that).
I can think of three activity couples and they are all from working class/ lower middle class backgrounds. In the socionics descriptions I'm sure it says that activity relations are easy to start up. I could picture aspiring middle class types making a conscious effort to find someone and not waiting around for 'perfection' like other people might. An activity partner might seem like someone intelligent, impressive- someone who has a bit of everything to offer- excitement, intellect, security. Someone who could help them advance socially and culturally.
I know descriptions of class are a bit different in America and England.
When I say aspiring middle class...people who grew up with some stability in their family home, but were not wealthy, also maybe their parents are not college graduates, that type of thing.
I'm sure there are many ways to analyse why people end up with a certain type but I don't know it's just on my mind atm
@Bethany - yeah it's the Fe valuing.
Idk, I grew up like middle middle class lol. Maybe it was more lower middle, I'm not sure- I was kinda raised with the mentality that rich people were uppity, fake and evil- and to be fair, they often kinda are- but simply being poor doesn't make you a better person either ((like gay John Waters said haha - I think it was him))
Rich Republicunts like to wipe their own asses about God so much, but they ignore the passage in the Bible about how much harder it's to enter Heaven being a wealthy person. xD They could help a lot of people if they were less selfish with their money, but they don't seem really willing to do that. Most of their charities are just virtue signaling sewer shit that helps them more than it helps the people they are supposedly helping as well.
I’ll try to share more observations later. I think I’m just a bit stressed out about my career atm which is why I’m
dwelling a lot on what could have been. I had a good day earlier in the week when I felt happy at work
and I think I could be happier there- but things are a bit uncertain atm. I get worried that I’ll get depressed and won’t be able to hold down a job, but it’s more likely I’ll have some revelation that makes me appreciate work. And I guess in ten years time I might feel happy to try something different that I can’t even imagine right now. I do think that I probably need more art in my life- there’s something about tv and fine art that is unique in its way to capture complex emotions. Image is so immediate in its message it gets across- making images feels like you can say something powerful even if you don’t know what you’re trying to say. It’s important to me to be around visual artists who understand this and I should do it more.
But I do think that people often will end up with the personality type that they need (the type they need at that point in their life anyway), and that person might help them to progress in their dream career. Sometimes I think what would people give up for duality? What ideal job would they give up?
In an academic environment, for example, sharing the same valued logical function may be preferrable (and stronger logic is preferred in such environments, in general). And perhaps also the same last dichotomy. I liked talking with an ILI classmate about our subject of interest, found her knowledgeable and intelligent with her Te, nice person because of valued Fi. And my most liked university professor was ILI - being irrational he had little problem with sudden insights, with interruptions and with casual, unstructured talking. I also had an IEE professor - she was much more interesting as a person and had very stimulating presentations (picking out the right and fascinating examples with Ne), but her objectivity left something to be desired, although I perceived her as very intelligent too.
@blaecaedre I have found both SEIs and ILIs to be good mentors, in an academic sense. My best subjects were English Literature and Fine Art. I have always liked learning about literature from ILIs and about practising art from SEIs. And yes, I think this type of intellectual relationship works best in an academic environment. I see myself exploring art further, and I perhaps might benefit from joining a studio, where there might be some SEIs.
In ''softer'' humanistic studies stronger logic is probably not very neccessary; in fact, strong ethics and intuition is probably the most common type in literary/art/musical studies etc. I took a course on literary analysis with a fine IEI professor - there was less need for stronger logic there, beyond recognition of formal literary elements, grammatical structures, knowledge of the base semantic meanings of words etc. The meat, or result, of the course was on interpretation, where strong intuition is, of course, preferred. Sensory logicians probably rely more on the available data, such as the preponderance of certain words in the text, to pry out the meaning - they have a less developed feeling for themes and the relationships of characters (an element most complexly explored in novels; one can speculate that ethical types are best suited to understanding those kinds of works).
Originally Posted by Bethany