Tell me about your “one that got away.” What was their sociotype?
I think title is pretty self-explanatory.
That person who crosses your mind when you’re alone. The “right person, wrong time” or whatever the tale of woe may be that you always wonder if things could somehow have been different with.
Mine was an SLI-Te (activity). I was young and dumb and didn’t understand that what I had was rare (for reasons outside socionics).
My ILI ex girlfriend.
It was an "illusionary" relation. She was the only girl I really liked so far.
I loved the fact she wasn't a slave of common human emotions, like jealousy. She was somewhat detatched, but still she cared a lot. The type of girl who says "I give you freedom and I'm not gonna controlling you, but if you betray me I will vanish forever".
First relationship for both, still we never found another partner as compatible as we were in terms of "mind".
We both were capable of unconditional feelings for the other, and when we broke our relationship we kept a good friendship (because it didn't ended with betrayal, but for different needs and views).
But one day we argued because she was using me too much (as a friend), and when I pointed out this she lacked words in her defense and preferred to escape.
She made me mature a lot and I still love her in a more "fraternal" way, because I liked the brief moments we spent together.
Awwwe, I love this. I’ve always wanted to experience having an Illusionary partner. I get “soulmate” vibes from your story.Originally Posted by Lesri
Yeah. Maybe it is not the best relationship possible, but it is really intense psychologically speaking (at least in my case).
I think relationship like this help a lot to understand yourself, and life in general, better.
I'm waiting to find a dual to understand better if I prefer duality or illusionary.
PS. ILI has Si role, so they are similiar (from an external pov) to my duals. Maybe is called for this reason "illusionary". They give the impression to be your Duals but they are not. Still, I consider them a very good kind of relationship
Last edited by Lesri; 06-23-2022 at 10:25 PM.
Last year I crossed paths with a rather nice ILE. He reminded me a bit of the typical SEI type I go for..I’ve also met a couple of lovely SEEs. I think if I could choose one fantasy relationship it would probably be with an SEI-fe. I’ve known/met a few who were quite special. (They have a bit of a mad edge to them, also lovely voices). However, sometimes I think if someone seems super special then it’s too good to be true and maybe they're not quite right for you. (Maybe not marriage material). I knew an SLE in uni, who is still basically my dream SLE. Though I’m probably idealising him a bit. We both liked the same type of art. I remember meeting an LSI guy when I was really young and I remember him being a really good kisser but I don’t think I actually liked him..activity couples do seem to have quite passionate relationships.
Before uni I fancied a different ILE guy. I think illusionary could be a really nice first boyfriend.
Oh I loved an EIE guy too, I think we could have had a nice relationship.
I think maybe people end up with mirrors because a decent mirror still feels really special..even if long term
they don’t work out very well?
ILIs seem like they have potential to be interesting
Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 06-24-2022 at 12:03 PM.
She was an ESI, I was an EII (well still am lol). It was kindred relations. Kindred relations to me before I knew socionics seemed like you've found your "soulmate". An EII type 4 is just bound to wallow in feeling "misunderstood" all their life, and here comes along someone with the same base function and BAM! UNDERSTANDING! Not only feeling understood, but feeling so deeply understood like as if this person is related to you (no incest bro). I mean feeling understood from just the look in someone's eyes looking at you and you can just feel unspoken understanding, and feeling understood in all the ways you ever dreamed of, good lord I felt like my soul was safe and seen and desired. The whole "she just gets me"? Understatement!
With other girls I always had this sense that they wanted me to be somebody else, they seemed physically attracted to me but didn't like the real me once they got to know me, I was always a let down for them. But this girl introduced me to what it meant to be in a real relationship, I felt like she liked me for me, and up until that point I didn't even know that was allowed, I didn't know I was allowed to be loved for "me", I thought "me" was messed up and needed to be worked on before I could be loved, I didn't know someone could like me the way I naturally am. I always thought in order to get relationships right I had to find out how to properly become the guy the girl wanted me to be. I thought until I figured out how to be the guy girls wanted I would never keep a girl around.
But this chick man, she just responded so well to my natural personality. It was addicting. Sometimes I felt like she loved me too much, I even told her so, I told her she should be with someone that loves her just as much as she loves them because it feels unfair, and she tells me " I feel like you love me, I feel loved." There were times where I spoke to her and parts of my personality came out that I didn't even know were there. Sometimes I would get so poetic with my feelings about her, sometimes I'd be over the top corny just to make her blush uncomfortably, and sometimes it was some subtle but deeper thing, and I'm a over thinking second guessing mfer, I NEVER.DO.THIS.WITH.ANYONE. But with her it came out without me even thinking about it, like my emotions had a direct non-stop flight to my actions, no thought inbetween, that's how incredibly comfortable I was around that girl, to not even second guess my actions, when I wanted to touch her, I touched her, kiss her, I kissed her, no thought, just physical expressions of how I felt, my body was a slave to the things she made me feel.
The one thing I loved the most and miss the most about being with her is all the inside jokes and personal things we had between us, it was like hot glue. That feeling of us being in our own little world. I miss that alot. I remember talking to her on the phone, I always use this made up word I made and one day she just started saying it, and idky but holy cow that just made me feel even more loved by her Idk how to explain why. It was like a code word between us. The deepest love I ever felt, that Fi/Fi base connection is scary. Whenever I hugged her, it literally felt like home to me, like I belonged right there.
I don't even require the next girl I date to match that, but I do know I've been spoiled, she definitely raised the bar and changed my perspective of dating, I used to think I wanted 8/10 in looks, and 5-7/10 in chemistry, I thought it didn't matter as much before I met her, but now I require 10/10 in chemistry ever since I met her because it's just crazy good and I realize even with high looks if that's missing it's nowhere near as good.
Last edited by Lord Pixel; 06-29-2022 at 08:40 AM.
Dang…
The first&only boy I've loved
I didn't focus on his type but he was so EP to me
Anyway I was studying in the last year of primary school, he was studying in the last year of middle school ( which is the hardest grade after the last year of secondary school because there's a really hard exam after it)
After he finished the year , he just faded away and I saw him only once after that when he came to our school again with his friends to see me
We loved each other but we didn't chat or go together because his father was so strict
The other one that got away that I actually call "the one that got away" was an LSE co-worker. She was the closest thing to what I really want, I was super attracted to her and we had super chemistry, and I can't get the idea of her out of my head, especially when I think about dating any other girl. She set the bar too high, she's too good of an example to compare to and socionics has messed me up a bit, because when I get the sense of someone's type I just think they are not her.
It sucks because she really is the one that got away.
When I first met her she impressed me because she was assertive in such a calm way, it just stood out to me. Here's this petite girl, bossing people around, in a relaxed and none offensive way. My natural reaction was to tease her about it and that seemed to work out. I jokingly call her abrasive, I at the same time I'm worried she won't take it as a joke because most strangers I meet take a minute or two to know I'm joking, but to my surprise she laughed, and she said "Noooo, I'm not mean." Like she got it, that I was joking, so I kept teasing saying she's at a 12 and she needs to be down at about a 6 in abrasiveness, she kept laughing and going along with my sense of humor. Up until this point, I never talked to a girl as attractive as her and felt at ease at the same time, or even enjoyed myself, I couldn't because I'd be too nervous, but with this girl it all just rolled off the cuff and seemed easy going and fun.
I even called a jynx on her while talking to her because we said the same thing and then later she calls one on me when we do it again and says I owe her a soda. This was all in like the first 5 mins of talking to her, she was super cute and so far fun to talk to, shocking experience for me. I've seen her before but initially thought she was out of my league so I never planned on talking to her, and this time I'm only talking to her because she did something that I could easily tease her about not because I liked her or anything.
After talking to her for like 5 mins her co-worker friend a SLI joins in and all of the sudden I'm part of their work friend group. They get me in on the shenanigans they do when they are bored at work. We worked at a stadium entrance, checking people's tickets to come in. Her and her friend would count the amount of people who came in with striped shirts lol, judge girls who showed up to the basketball games with nightclub dresses on like "Do you see how she's dressed?!", her and her friend would be baffled when I would look and have no reaction lol, it musta been a girl thing. They would see people waiting in line talking and they would try and read their lips making up a funny version of what they were actually saying lol. And the SLI always hated when people came indoors with their shades still on lol. We had a saying where whenever one of us was trying to be too cool we'd say "Take your shades off."
After that day she seemed to consider me a friend because whenever she saw me in the stadium she would shout my name and mispronounce it on purpose, like a nickname, I didn't even really have to start conversations with her anymore, she would just come up to me, give me a hug, say my name wrong on purpose then I'd say her name wrong on purpose lol.
I started getting confused when she would see me and say stuff like "We miss you." Her and her friend, or "We like you working at tickets better than the other guy.". Felt weird because I thought she was super sexy, and here she's saying she misses me, but she's saying "we", so I thought it must not mean anything. But then whenever I worked tickets and my manager would tell me to work somewhere else halfway through my shift, the girl would ask me "Where are you going?!" like she didn't want me to leave, I had the feeling that maybe she just felt like work was less boring when I was around.
When I was around, something was happening but it was real feint, like I would tease her often times, mocking the way she said something, the way she chewed candy, the fact that she was chewing candy while talking to a customer, and man she loved it lol. It was like a little lightning bolt shot through both of us sometimes, and sometimes it felt like a warm moment. But even though I was attracted to her it just felt like we were two friends, but it also felt like we knew each other a while, which we didn't, it felt like we must have grown up in the same place or something, I tried to rationalize why it felt so natural talking to her.
I remember one time I showed up to work tickets, they had two tall rulers to measure kids under 3 something feet, if they were shorter than the ruler they would get in free. She managed other ticket checkers, and she was training some of them that day. I show up and grab one of the rulers and start sword fighting one of her trainees, we go at it for a while than all her co-workers working tickets start laughing, she looks like she wants to stop me but at the same time finds it funny and lets me sword fight her trainee until she calms it down, I could tell she liked having me around. At a later date she even sword fought me with a balloon stick, but that was because I pissed her off lol.
Anyway, things felt slow and natural between me and her, not the usual "They are hot how do I get with them" sort of deal, it was more like we liked being around each other and when we saw each other again it felt like a small reunion. Anyway we never dated, she got away, and that's what I'm looking for now and Idk if I'm gonna find it again.
Last edited by Lord Pixel; 07-12-2022 at 05:16 AM.
I often narrow down people I like into two types: the attraction either feels very passionate or very romantic..I would have like to have dated one of the passionate types, and one of the romantic types. The best dual I’ve met was more of the more romantic type.
I may have already responded to this thread before in the past, can’t remember but ILI-HN and either 5 or 9.
Socionics is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, but I have it.
I can't click “like” on peoples posts due to the poor functionality of the site on my end. Just know that if you quoted me and were nice to me that I’m psychically sending you a like from my heart.
Fi-EII, mainly because I haven’t been able to find anyone else. It was a good and stable relationship by my standards but wasn’t fulfilling. I wanted to be someone else and pictured myself with someone less wholesome and domestic
Last edited by Averroes; 07-31-2022 at 03:41 PM.
Bunny always tried to say that it was me that liked her more than she liked me, counting sheep and maze dusty feathers to the harpoon and tow cable of lizard man.
Im always chasing Bunny. She said that Raptor will always chase Bunny, which is cute, gallant, formless, yet maximized in a fog to lush swerve of the binoculars.
Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul lasts forever. Lucky Numbers - 53, 10, 29, 14, 1, 21
Mr. Mime = Mastermind
The time is alway right to do what is right.
Become who you are.
Marius Florin aka LeoSuperCluster as Raging Bolt the Raikou number 1021 and SolitaryWalker brought glory to the years of Silver and forged Pichu, wisdom of force and flair to exhibit dinosaur questing pointers electrocuting cinema and blueprints of emporiums to undertow flows jungle tossing galaxy spanning shivers of essence gems and portals of roads to destruction and arboretums folding castles and swordsmanship of dreams and counters to pleasant vibrations and holy water sprouting evanescent stars and puzzles of grades to saffron climax
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I was doing some casual social media stalking and realised that the SLE I liked at college has a new partner- she looks very IEI. I thought he had settled down with an EIE girl..the IEI looks like a more fun version of me haha. And the SLE looks different to how I remember..he looks a bit less cool..a bit more normal. Still lovely of course. Maybe I can finally get over it now haha.
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