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Thread: How do you deal with self-hatred?

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    Default How do you deal with self-hatred?

    Other than eating and touching your tummy, and picking fights with your mom in the basement?

    I’m looking for healthier methods around here.
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Surrounding urself with people who love u helps

    and if u don’t have that then try volunteering to help the less fortunate. It’s a good reminder that u do have the power to make a difference in the world, no matter how small u think it is

    Also working out everyday even if it’s just a lil bit. Eating well. How can u hate urself when u look like Zeus
    “Anything is possible. It is night on planet earth and I'm alive. And someday I'll be dead.
    Someday I'll just be bones in a box, but right now, I'm not.
    And anything is possible.”

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    blame it on women and minorities
    ^ stolen from an LSI

    join a cult
    become a conservative
    Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
    I want to care
    if I was better I’d help you
    if I was better you’d be better
    HELLO??? COME BACK!!!!
    i'm afraid it will hurt like hell, i am afraid of screaming and i am afraid of crying, i am afraid of forgetting but i'm not afraid of dying.



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    well this depends on how old you are, but for me as a college student, getting a job helps shift my view of personal worth as being based on who i "am", whatever that means, to being based on what i can do. modern society is so self absorbed and especially with the rise of identity politics and social media, personal merit seems to be based on inborn identities instead of competencies

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    Quote Originally Posted by ariesangel View Post
    Also working out everyday even if it’s just a lil bit. Eating well. How can u hate urself when u look like Zeus
    Good point. Although, working out won’t solve my problem of a small ding-a-ling.
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    blame it on women and minorities
    ^ stolen from an LSI

    join a cult
    become a conservative
    Tried that, but my mom increased the number of locks on the basement
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by mysteryofdungeon View Post
    Good point. Although, working out won’t solve my problem of a small ding-a-ling.
    I had a fwb who was literally like 3 inches but he knew how to throw it down good enough so that I didn’t leave sooooo… don’t let ur small dingaling stop u
    “Anything is possible. It is night on planet earth and I'm alive. And someday I'll be dead.
    Someday I'll just be bones in a box, but right now, I'm not.
    And anything is possible.”

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    Why do you hate yourself?

    If you can name and articulate something, break it down into something more concrete, then you can start to figure out what is within your power now to start to change. And the very act of making concrete steps (keeping promises to yourself) will alone ease the self hate.

    Like if it's a characteristic of yourself, why and how is that characteristic hurting you? What is it keeping you from? Why is that thing important to you? Can you adjust that characteristic? If not, can you find ways around it?

    It's not easy to change, especially if your neural pathways are used to going in certain ways. And sometimes you'll make leaps and sometimes you'll go back to spots where it feels impossible. And I think sometimes we think we want something only to find, once we get it, that wasn't actually what we wanted. Often the world is quite a bit less than helpful... But as long as you're alive you have the ability to make internal changes.


    I'm sorry you're dealing with it. It sucks. It's cool you're wanting to address it. Lots of people don't even bother.
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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    I found that it helped me to stop listening to my mother's critical voice in my head.

    It also helps to stop letting critical people into your life at all. Just walk away from them. Life is too short to deal with people who have more problems than you do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I found that it helped me to stop listening to my mother's critical voice in my head.

    It also helps to stop letting critical people into your life at all. Just walk away from them. Life is too short to deal with people who have more problems than you do.
    I cannot lie so I don't hate to "tap the sign" once again. Attachment issues. Yo' mamma had em' bad and, sadly, passed em' on to you. Same damn thing happened to me!

    I don't know what triggered it but me own mum has recently and suddenly started to reveal things to me that, well, confirm my suspicions. She's the type of LSE that's weakest to Rakes if you know about the works of Robbert Greene. A "Virtuous" woman. Devoutly Christian. Yet she fell hard for the modern equivalents of Richelieu and Don Juan. She was no whore, but the few men she actually allowed herself to get fucked by fit the profile.

    I digress. The question you must ask is why people you interact with are getting critical. If someone is honestly criticizing you it's because they actually care. A truly warm and loving parent doesn't scold you because they get some sadistic pleasure out of it. They do it because they truly want what's best for you. I'll also note the "scolding" likely won't involve wagging fingers and beatings but rather hugs and headpats. Little kids are remarkably manipulative little shits. Best thing you can do for them is to scold them for their manipulations and instead show them how persuasion is so much better...

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    Quote Originally Posted by mysteryofdungeon View Post
    Other than eating and touching your tummy, and picking fights with your mom in the basement?

    I’m looking for healthier methods around here.
    See a therapist. You're in a forum full of mouth breathing, basement-dwelling mommy fighters.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ariesangel View Post
    I had a fwb who was literally like 3 inches but he knew how to throw it down good enough so that I didn’t leave sooooo… don’t let ur small dingaling stop u
    8 inches or I don’t make friends with him
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by mysteryofdungeon View Post
    8 inches or I don’t make friends with him
    U ask how many inches they got when u first meet?
    “Anything is possible. It is night on planet earth and I'm alive. And someday I'll be dead.
    Someday I'll just be bones in a box, but right now, I'm not.
    And anything is possible.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by ariesangel View Post
    U ask how many inches they got when u first meet?
    They gotta show, not tell

    Nah jk I just follow them into the bathroom
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by mysteryofdungeon View Post
    They gotta show, not tell

    Nah jk I just follow them into the bathroom
    Sneaky….. I respect
    “Anything is possible. It is night on planet earth and I'm alive. And someday I'll be dead.
    Someday I'll just be bones in a box, but right now, I'm not.
    And anything is possible.”

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    If u hate urself for a good reason u should see it as it is, but u shouldnt let it control u so u become destructive to urself or others. it should be a reason to be better, it can be a point of reference if u get too ahead of urself.
    If u are a mix of random coincidences that made u u, tthen u arent better than the worst people ever. there is still a choice in that, u have multiple paths to go, and taking the right one counts.
    Self-hatred/guilt is an omnipresent reality, even if u aren't thinking about how bad u are any point u are alive, u have still done the bad things, or even if u haven't, u still have the potential to, and u have to avoid going there, despite the pressures u face. I've found too many ppl who think themselves to be good just bc they haven't done or wouldn't do anything that bad yet (according to themselves), which is often indicating they aren't even trying to recognize and avoid mistakes.
    Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
    I want to care
    if I was better I’d help you
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    HELLO??? COME BACK!!!!
    i'm afraid it will hurt like hell, i am afraid of screaming and i am afraid of crying, i am afraid of forgetting but i'm not afraid of dying.



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    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    If u hate urself for a good reason u should see it as it is, but u shouldnt let it control u so u become destructive to urself or others.
    Again, spell check and formatting are your friend and you really ought to stop stubbornly refusing to listen to them. But I digress and will pick apart this quote of yours.

    As I've pointed out repeatedly like a broken record the grand majority of people do in fact hate themselves, but for totally illogical and unjustified reasons. Attachment issues readily explains that phenomenon. For example, if you went through NICU you are almost guaranteed to develop major Attachment Issues despite the "logical" facts that your parents got really unlucky and you got born 3 months premature. In ancient times you'd have just died. A weird wriggly lump of meat would have gotten ejected from your mother and it'd stop wriggling a few moments later.

    You'd both feel really bad for reasons you couldn't articulate, but your mutually ignorant asses would essentially shrug it off and move on. The "baby" would have died as well thus negating any problems. Can't have attachment issues if you die well before your brain can fully register the fact it's now outside the womb.

    Then technology advanced to the point we could keep preme babies alive long enough for them to become the 9-month old viable offspring nature intended.

    Nobody ever really imagined how badly that fucked up the preme though. It knew it was outside the womb. It cried and cried as hard as its underdeveloped lungs would allow and nobody came. Nobody came. It had no way of comprehending that if anyone broke the seal of the plastic cube they were ensconced in to give it what it so desperately wanted it's likely spell its death (hell the poor thing is also so physically fragile that even attempting to pick it up without causing permanent harm that nobody with any sense of reality would attempt it). It only knew that its most desperate and heartfelt cries for comfort and succor went unanswered.

    Thus, it must be what amounts to a malignant tumor upon society. You can never fully get rid of the Self-Preservation instinct however. All of them are linked ultimately but this is the one most directly linked to attachment issues. Remember, in caveman society, getting abandoned by the tribe meant certain death. If either of your parents abandoned you your odds of survival cratered.

    Hence why I've often said the solution to your psychological problems (i.e. fixing your attachment issues) sounds easy as fuck on paper, but is in reality the hardest thing one could ever ask of another. To oppose your own limbic system and charge over "No Man's Land" is an extremely hard thing to ask of anyone. Even if literal Utopia/Heaven was on the other end I'd get not wanting to risk it given what no man's land actually was and what charging over it entailed...

    I mean, that machine gun nest just got resupplied (if intel is, ironically enough, either comped or supremely competent). They'll have plenty of ammo left by the time they get around to aiming at "me" as it were...
    Last edited by End; 06-19-2022 at 04:47 PM.

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    some people dont feel loved so they hurt others bc they dont feel thta they would love them anyway. this hurting others causes others to dislike them so they feel hated even more. instead of doing the right thing and becoming better and understanding, the one who hurts others makes excuses (people will disagree on who makes excuses for what but that doesnt mean there is no right and wrong). they make excuses as an attempt to manipulate the situation, others feelings and their own, as well sense of reality, for the sake of survival/perpetuation of the ego. if they dont convince others their harming them is justified or everyone does it or it doesnt exist they will be harmed, fairly so. if they admit mistakes and become better they think they will be harmed, which is often the case, and sometimes they should really be even after apologizing. the self hate and harming others usually starts early and keeps building up over the years.

    whats wrong with those people is the splitting, e.g. thinking that u cant do good things if u also do very bad things. or they dont want to do good things because they wont be treated well because of the bad things already so no point. this is an incredibly self centered mentality. it is different from someone who has been wronged by others to refuse to benefit them, because that would be enabling the abusers. this is not the case here bc that person is the abuser, even if they've been abused before. anyone with a brain will know whats what and whats fair.

    if someone has genuine intentions nad feelings even if they've done bad things that should still be recognized and understood but it doesnt mean the bad things should be accepted. if they did bad things that others have to live the consequences of its their fault. if theres genuine guilt they shouldnt be mistreated depending on the harm they did, but they should compensate if they reasonably can.
    Your face makes your brain and sociotype – how muscle use shapes personality
    I want to care
    if I was better I’d help you
    if I was better you’d be better
    HELLO??? COME BACK!!!!
    i'm afraid it will hurt like hell, i am afraid of screaming and i am afraid of crying, i am afraid of forgetting but i'm not afraid of dying.



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    I think for people who are well meaning it can help to think of yourself from a 3rd person view, as if you are a friend of yours. Think thoughts you'd think toward yourself if you were one of your friends and loved ones. Keep it genuine. I don't believe in going "I am smart and confident and etc" ehen you dont believe it. I believe in just starting with the positives you DO see in yourself. Habitually seek them out and the amount you see will grow. I think that's what self-acceptance/love is, it's partly accepting yourself with faults/warts and all. I am not really a funny person, but I have a good heart toward those who are in my care. I am not always the most patient person, but I know how to get things done. Instead of self-hatred, you see this flawed, imperfect, beautiful person that is you.
    Showing only bits and pieces
    'Till the light betrays you and your empty elocution
    Searching your eyes for a hint or a trace of humility
    Searching your eyes for the saint is an act of futility

    You're deceived by inner demons that were fed by your own hand
    Shaded veils hide your perception, shooting nails into the heart
    Still deceived by inner demons that were fed by your own hand
    Shaded veils hide your perception, shooting nails into your head

    The blood that runs within my veins
    Keeps me from ever ending up the same
    The fire that's pushing me on and on and on
    To me it's everything and it makes me fucking strong

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    It depends on what u are hating in urself..... I've seen pedophiles not hate themselves when they should have realistically at felt some guilt and self-hatred to not commit offenses again and I've seen ppl masochistically hate themselves for no reason because they were in a relationship with an abusive person who conditioned themselves to hate themselves. I don't necessarily mean 'romantic' either, can also be the relationship between parent and child or family members whatever. I've seen people hating themselves for liking cringey Disney movies, which a lot of people would argue that you should hate yourself for that, but I have a soft spot for corny Disney Channel original specials as well- but more so back in the day. They all seem to suck now, even in a way that I can't even make fun of.

    You shouldn't hate yourself for being a basement dwelling loser, because if I can get a job I think almost anybody can. Ppl want u to hate urself so ur easier to control... but maybe put ur self-hatred into the proper perspective.

    /cue cheesy and inspiring song by Pink where she sticks up for the shy introverted girl. Most ppl on the forum are like that girl to me. <3

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    Personally, the only way I’ve found that actually works and is positive, is doing things that make me feel better about myself. Like actually accomplishing something.

    but yeah, sometimes it’s hard to push yourself to do them.

    reframing your thoughts can help, but at some point you feel like you are brainwashing yourself.

    Drugs and alcohol almost always make things worse

    and medication is just a bandaid for sissy’s like me lol

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    Tbh, I'm kind of on the other side of this: the moment you learn to love yourself instead of hating yourself, others will come at you shooting arrows with their tongues, accusing you of conceit and all kinds of nastiness. I'm to a point where I truly do believe that if there were more people like me, the world would be much better...but for beliefs such as that, I am faulted by others. We live in a society that tears us down for showing a hint of confidence in ourselves. We are silenced, not allowed to say things like, "I think I'm pretty," or "I'm smart." Perhaps, then, the first step toward loving yourself is giving what everyone else thinks the middle finger. Fuck society's rules, norms, and standards. It's your own goddamn life. Judge yourself by your own terms, not theirs. Fuck being silenced: let your own voice have its space. No one else has the right to deprive you of that. "I AM." All of you: the good, the bad, and the in-between...and that is good enough.
    Showing only bits and pieces
    'Till the light betrays you and your empty elocution
    Searching your eyes for a hint or a trace of humility
    Searching your eyes for the saint is an act of futility

    You're deceived by inner demons that were fed by your own hand
    Shaded veils hide your perception, shooting nails into the heart
    Still deceived by inner demons that were fed by your own hand
    Shaded veils hide your perception, shooting nails into your head

    The blood that runs within my veins
    Keeps me from ever ending up the same
    The fire that's pushing me on and on and on
    To me it's everything and it makes me fucking strong

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Lioness View Post
    I think for people who are well meaning it can help to think of yourself from a 3rd person view, as if you are a friend of yours. Think thoughts you'd think toward yourself if you were one of your friends and loved ones. Keep it genuine. I don't believe in going "I am smart and confident and etc" ehen you dont believe it. I believe in just starting with the positives you DO see in yourself. Habitually seek them out and the amount you see will grow. I think that's what self-acceptance/love is, it's partly accepting yourself with faults/warts and all. I am not really a funny person, but I have a good heart toward those who are in my care. I am not always the most patient person, but I know how to get things done. Instead of self-hatred, you see this flawed, imperfect, beautiful person that is you.
    what if I hate myself for superficial reasons like being ugly and not being able to attract a woman? I don’t value being a nice, gentle man with good intentions that much to be honest and don't think I ever will
    Last edited by Averroes; 09-24-2022 at 01:01 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    what if I hate myself for superficial reasons like being ugly and not being able to attract a woman? I don’t value being a nice, gentle man with good intentions that much to be honest and don't think I ever will
    People are more in control of what they value than most realize. It is a decision to some extent. It's a matter of reframing your perceptions. Those two aren't antonyms anyway; you can value both simultaneously.

    As for looks...control what you can, and try to accept what you cannot control. Sometimes, society is in the wrong, and yet we judge ourselves the way society judges us anyway. Define your own standards. Learn to be accepting of others in that department, and then it will be easier to accept your own self.

    There's also a difference between valuing something VS basing your value (self-worth) on it. Are you worth less as a human being because of X, Y, or Z? What is it that's important enough to make you worth less as a human being? Are you deserving of less because of your appearances? Do you really believe you are trash because of it, or that you should be treated like shit over it? If so, then surely the same must be applied to others; otherwise, it is a matter of learning to see yourself in the same way you see others (it ties back to what I originally said). I base human value on 2 things: 1 is purely the fact that it is a human life, and 2 is character. (I don't believe that rapists, murderers, etc. are deserving of the same things as others.)
    Last edited by Lady Lunacy; 09-24-2022 at 03:42 AM.
    Showing only bits and pieces
    'Till the light betrays you and your empty elocution
    Searching your eyes for a hint or a trace of humility
    Searching your eyes for the saint is an act of futility

    You're deceived by inner demons that were fed by your own hand
    Shaded veils hide your perception, shooting nails into the heart
    Still deceived by inner demons that were fed by your own hand
    Shaded veils hide your perception, shooting nails into your head

    The blood that runs within my veins
    Keeps me from ever ending up the same
    The fire that's pushing me on and on and on
    To me it's everything and it makes me fucking strong

  25. #25
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    AGGRESSIVELY treat myself as if i am a separate person that i love and care about
    Soc/Sp/Sx ~ 4w5 1w9 7w6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    what if I hate myself for superficial reasons like being ugly and not being able to attract a woman? I don’t value being a nice, gentle man with good intentions that much to be honest and don't think I ever will
    you've repeated this narrative you have of yourself so many times that by now of course you're right.
    Soc/Sp/Sx ~ 4w5 1w9 7w6

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    Quote Originally Posted by persimmonism View Post
    you've repeated this narrative you have of yourself so many times that by now of course you're right.
    it doesn’t matter what I say/think about it, it’s self evident based on my romantic life. I'm down astronomically bad in one a densely populated city full of women
    Last edited by Averroes; 09-24-2022 at 03:40 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    it doesn’t matter what I say/think about it, it’s self evident based on my romantic life. I'm down astronomically bad in one a densely populated city full of women
    no! there's so much psychological research based on life scripts and self narratives we tell ourselves that actually shape our lives.
    which came first, the action or the narrative ... yknow? they're very intertwined and self-reinforcing.
    Soc/Sp/Sx ~ 4w5 1w9 7w6

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    Quote Originally Posted by persimmonism View Post
    no! there's so much psychological research based on life scripts and self narratives we tell ourselves that actually shape our lives.
    which came first, the action or the narrative ... yknow? they're very intertwined and self-reinforcing.
    It's just reality. I get ignored or ghosted on a consistent basis while other guys have harems
    Last edited by Averroes; 09-25-2022 at 03:21 AM.

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    So I'm not sure that this is the most helpful advice, but the most straightforward solution to this might be to find a way to fix the problem that's causing the self hatred. I guess if the problem is related to sex, then maybe find new methods to pleasure people. I've heard a phrase that went along the lines of "It's not size that matters, it's how you use it.". I can't really say that I have personal experience in that area, so I'm not sure of how accurate that is.

    I guess if you can't fix the problem, you could try to improve a different characteristic of yours so that when others' weigh your positives/negatives, you seem to be more positive than negative.

    Edited.

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    Just blame "the universe" or "fate" for things being the way they are, if you must blame something. Then try to live as best as you can. You can't do more than that. Hating yourself simply isn't going to make things any better.

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    It’s channeling the Force and charms of the beloved mouse to man giga converter to install hope and building processes that radically deal super civilization overhauls for the mind to be willer and seer of omega.

    Just think big.
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    Pokemon is somewhere fun over the Rainbow emblazoned by the Power of 4ever. The clouds soar and the island escalates a Lugia petal dance tempest blizzarding shiny Ash. Evanescence sparkles glistening auroras of mirth and high frequency channels embarking with the winds of new beginnings. This magical adventure turns on at the dawn of time in 2000. Ceremony and enchantment dazzle the world with colors galore. Mania and extravagance shape shift and transform into the greatest show on earth, the evolution of Pokemon
    Something has arrived. That threatens to throw everything terribly out of balance. When it comes, will you accept your destiny? And when it’s your chance to be a hero, will you rise to the challenge? This year, discover how 1 person can make all the difference! Pokemon the Movie 2000 The Power of 1

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    Examine your fears and contemplate it then set personal purposes and focus on being better every day and don’t listen to naysayers
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
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    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    I’m just a raging covert narcissist who’s doomed to suffer and live an empty life unless I wake up one day and magically have everything I want. Normal things like helping people or being a good friend and son either don’t bring me happiness or I just have too much pride to shift my priorities in that direction
    Last edited by Averroes; 09-25-2022 at 03:58 PM.

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    Don't share your problems with people that can't help you.

    For what? Therapy?

    Be quiet.

    Quote Originally Posted by ContractedCriminalboy View Post
    I'm in such a freaking manic state right now, I feel absolutely invisible. I drank so much goddamn caffeine, an energy drink, an Americano, another energy drink, a soda, and another energy drink, and a coffee, all within the span of three hours. All but the latte zero cal of course, not here drinking 3,000 calories in beverages.

    I got like 13 losers leaving me on read right now, been sending out messages all day long. I'll keep sending more until I get blocked. Messaging everyone I know.

    Blasting music and dancing. Listening to goddamn everything man, I got hit songs like E.T, Tarzan and Jane, Hakkerskaldyr, Runar, No Love, Devilman no Uta, Dixieland, Miss Murder, Livgardet, World on Fire, Star Sky, Paparazzi, Blow Me Away, Pain, Hero, Malo Tebya, etc. Over 600 song playlist can't name them all. But I gotta keep moving, gotta keep grooving, can't stop or I'll die.
    Quote Originally Posted by ContractedCriminalboy View Post
    I have the same with an IEE friend I keep trying to hang out with but always says she's too busy but still hangs out with other people at work. 99% of my friendships pretty much exist due to me keeping them on life support with my persistent in keeping them going. If I ever stopped trying to, they'd all die off. It's frustrating, especially knowing that nobody values me as much as I do them, but it's better than giving up trying and being completely alone.
    Last edited by pregnantman; 10-17-2022 at 12:41 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Averroes View Post
    It's just reality. I get ignored or ghosted on a consistent basis while other guys have harems
    how long have you been looking for someone? I think most people are looking for someone they feel an instinctively special connection with. I personally think I have got better at spotting that after a year of seriously looking. Someone is looking for that, keep looking for it too and eventually your paths might cross? I’ve talked to guys recently that I probably wouldn’t have talked to six months ago. It seemed hopeless for a while but then I started to notice people i thought seemed sweet. Feels like a wholesome approach. It’s almost like I couldn’t see it, until I’d been on a wide range of dates..


    I’m not with someone yet, but I feel like I’m getting warmer
    Last edited by Bethany; 10-10-2022 at 08:11 AM.

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    Why would you hate yourself for something that is not your fault?

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    Quote Originally Posted by pregnantman View Post
    Don't share your problems with people that can't help you.

    For what? Therapy?

    Be quiet.
    Why are you so obsessed with the second quote? It's one of the few things you post regarding. The first quote isn't a problem, it was positive and I was having a good time and feeling great when I wrote it. Who's alt are you?

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    Self-loathing/hatred tends to stem from attachment issues Ceterus Paribus. It's not your fault 99 times out of 100 just to put that out there. I mean hell, the whole damned modern world is essentially custom made to ensure you get them as hard and fast as is conceivably possible ever since the World Wars. There is no shame in being fucked in the head if your entire milieu is dedicated to the express purpose of ensuring you're fucked in the head.

    How so? Well, people with said issues see themselves on a subconscious level as ultimately unlovable sacks of shit. There's something wrong with them that everyone but themselves can see plain as day but they cannot. Thus they must put on an act and never be their true selves amongst others. They must never be honest and open about their needs and instead must subtly hint at them with the conviction that if that other person really liked them they'd essentially be able to read their minds and just "get" those subtle hints that are obvious to them but, well, likely aren't to someone who isn't them.

    And then they don't pick up on the hints and then they lash out at them for, to the other person (and even themselves if they're being honest), no really gosh darn good reason.

    They didn't do X? Agitated person gets mad about it and yells at them for not doing X.
    They say: "Well if ya wanted X done why didn't you ask me?"
    I shouldn't have to ask!!! Responds the irrationally agitated victim of this profound "neglect" that only they perceive.

    And on it goes in a negative feedback loop if you get sucked in or (as is my more recent experience) you confuse the other by not yelling back at them, telling them calmly and rationally that they obviously had a need they neglected to directly inform you about and that if they had just asked sooner it would have been done, and them not really knowing what to do with that besides continue to yell, fume, and seethe at you in the moment and then profusely apologize a few hours later for being such a dick.

    Tell me if this isn't ringing any bells on some level because I've experienced it my whole damn life and I know sure as shit I ain't alone. But I digress. If you hate yourself you're likely suffering from major attachment issues. Fix them to be rid of it. I do not claim that this is an easy task for what I'm asking you to do is essentially go against the hard wiring of your own brain and how it'll be screaming bloody murder at you to do anything but honestly share a personal need with someone you're close to (e.g. tell your brother/mother/etc. you want to spend more time with them and get closer to them and that you'd really like it if ya both made the effort to do so) but that's the cure.

    This shit is, to use a programming term, an issue with the kernel. If you know anything about how an OS works you know how bad an "issue" with the kernel is. Thankfully, by the grace of God we aren't glorified computers like the godless materialists would like to claim. We aren't but "moist robots" as someone put it. Rather, we are beings created in the image of the true embodiment of the good and true. Satan's corruption can and does wrack us to our foundations, but unlike mere circuits (and he himself funny enough) we are still the authors of our own fates.

    The key to fixing it is to actually and truly believe we can fix it. The key to stop hating yourself is to believe that you actually can and that in the end you really are someone who can be loved and valued by others merely because you are worthy of that. That you can even possibly be loved because you're you, not because of (and only because of) some temporary and ultimately fleeting utility you can provide to some other person or group.
    Last edited by End; 10-17-2022 at 07:29 AM.

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