How do you deal with self-hatred?

[mysteryofdungeon]

Other than eating and touching your tummy, and picking fights with your mom in the basement?

I’m looking for healthier methods around here.

[ariesangel]

Surrounding urself with people who love u helps

and if u don’t have that then try volunteering to help the less fortunate. It’s a good reminder that u do have the power to make a difference in the world, no matter how small u think it is

Also working out everyday even if it’s just a lil bit. Eating well. How can u hate urself when u look like Zeus

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

blame it on women and minorities
^ stolen from an LSI

join a cult
become a conservative

[persimmonism]

well this depends on how old you are, but for me as a college student, getting a job helps shift my view of personal worth as being based on who i "am", whatever that means, to being based on what i can do. modern society is so self absorbed and especially with the rise of identity politics and social media, personal merit seems to be based on inborn identities instead of competencies

[mysteryofdungeon]

Also working out everyday even if it’s just a lil bit. Eating well. How can u hate urself when u look like Zeus

Good point. Although, working out won’t solve my problem of a small ding-a-ling.

[mysteryofdungeon]

blame it on women and minorities
^ stolen from an LSI

join a cult
become a conservative

Tried that, but my mom increased the number of locks on the basement

[ariesangel]

Good point. Although, working out won’t solve my problem of a small ding-a-ling.

I had a fwb who was literally like 3 inches but he knew how to throw it down good enough so that I didn’t leave sooooo… don’t let ur small dingaling stop u

[Minde]

Why do you hate yourself?

If you can name and articulate something, break it down into something more concrete, then you can start to figure out what is within your power now to start to change. And the very act of making concrete steps (keeping promises to yourself) will alone ease the self hate.

Like if it's a characteristic of yourself, why and how is that characteristic hurting you? What is it keeping you from? Why is that thing important to you? Can you adjust that characteristic? If not, can you find ways around it?

It's not easy to change, especially if your neural pathways are used to going in certain ways. And sometimes you'll make leaps and sometimes you'll go back to spots where it feels impossible. And I think sometimes we think we want something only to find, once we get it, that wasn't actually what we wanted. Often the world is quite a bit less than helpful... But as long as you're alive you have the ability to make internal changes.


I'm sorry you're dealing with it. It sucks. It's cool you're wanting to address it. Lots of people don't even bother.

[Adam Strange]

I found that it helped me to stop listening to my mother's critical voice in my head.

It also helps to stop letting critical people into your life at all. Just walk away from them. Life is too short to deal with people who have more problems than you do.

[End]

I found that it helped me to stop listening to my mother's critical voice in my head.

It also helps to stop letting critical people into your life at all. Just walk away from them. Life is too short to deal with people who have more problems than you do.

I cannot lie so I don't hate to "tap the sign" once again. Attachment issues. Yo' mamma had em' bad and, sadly, passed em' on to you. Same damn thing happened to me!

I don't know what triggered it but me own mum has recently and suddenly started to reveal things to me that, well, confirm my suspicions. She's the type of LSE that's weakest to Rakes if you know about the works of Robbert Greene. A "Virtuous" woman. Devoutly Christian. Yet she fell hard for the modern equivalents of Richelieu and Don Juan. She was no whore, but the few men she actually allowed herself to get fucked by fit the profile.

I digress. The question you must ask is why people you interact with are getting critical. If someone is honestly criticizing you it's because they actually care. A truly warm and loving parent doesn't scold you because they get some sadistic pleasure out of it. They do it because they truly want what's best for you. I'll also note the "scolding" likely won't involve wagging fingers and beatings but rather hugs and headpats. Little kids are remarkably manipulative little shits. Best thing you can do for them is to scold them for their manipulations and instead show them how persuasion is so much better...

[Capitalist Pig]

Other than eating and touching your tummy, and picking fights with your mom in the basement?

I’m looking for healthier methods around here.

See a therapist. You're in a forum full of mouth breathing, basement-dwelling mommy fighters.

[mysteryofdungeon]

I had a fwb who was literally like 3 inches but he knew how to throw it down good enough so that I didn’t leave sooooo… don’t let ur small dingaling stop u

8 inches or I don’t make friends with him

[ariesangel]

8 inches or I don’t make friends with him

U ask how many inches they got when u first meet?

[mysteryofdungeon]

U ask how many inches they got when u first meet?

They gotta show, not tell

Nah jk I just follow them into the bathroom

[ariesangel]

They gotta show, not tell

Nah jk I just follow them into the bathroom

Sneaky….. I respect

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

If u hate urself for a good reason u should see it as it is, but u shouldnt let it control u so u become destructive to urself or others. it should be a reason to be better, it can be a point of reference if u get too ahead of urself.
If u are a mix of random coincidences that made u u, tthen u arent better than the worst people ever. there is still a choice in that, u have multiple paths to go, and taking the right one counts.
Self-hatred/guilt is an omnipresent reality, even if u aren't thinking about how bad u are any point u are alive, u have still done the bad things, or even if u haven't, u still have the potential to, and u have to avoid going there, despite the pressures u face. I've found too many ppl who think themselves to be good just bc they haven't done or wouldn't do anything that bad yet (according to themselves), which is often indicating they aren't even trying to recognize and avoid mistakes.

[End]

If u hate urself for a good reason u should see it as it is, but u shouldnt let it control u so u become destructive to urself or others.

Again, spell check and formatting are your friend and you really ought to stop stubbornly refusing to listen to them. But I digress and will pick apart this quote of yours.

As I've pointed out repeatedly like a broken record the grand majority of people do in fact hate themselves, but for totally illogical and unjustified reasons. Attachment issues readily explains that phenomenon. For example, if you went through NICU you are almost guaranteed to develop major Attachment Issues despite the "logical" facts that your parents got really unlucky and you got born 3 months premature. In ancient times you'd have just died. A weird wriggly lump of meat would have gotten ejected from your mother and it'd stop wriggling a few moments later.

You'd both feel really bad for reasons you couldn't articulate, but your mutually ignorant asses would essentially shrug it off and move on. The "baby" would have died as well thus negating any problems. Can't have attachment issues if you die well before your brain can fully register the fact it's now outside the womb.

Then technology advanced to the point we could keep preme babies alive long enough for them to become the 9-month old viable offspring nature intended.

Nobody ever really imagined how badly that fucked up the preme though. It knew it was outside the womb. It cried and cried as hard as its underdeveloped lungs would allow and nobody came. Nobody came. It had no way of comprehending that if anyone broke the seal of the plastic cube they were ensconced in to give it what it so desperately wanted it's likely spell its death (hell the poor thing is also so physically fragile that even attempting to pick it up without causing permanent harm that nobody with any sense of reality would attempt it). It only knew that its most desperate and heartfelt cries for comfort and succor went unanswered.

Thus, it must be what amounts to a malignant tumor upon society. You can never fully get rid of the Self-Preservation instinct however. All of them are linked ultimately but this is the one most directly linked to attachment issues. Remember, in caveman society, getting abandoned by the tribe meant certain death. If either of your parents abandoned you your odds of survival cratered.

Hence why I've often said the solution to your psychological problems (i.e. fixing your attachment issues) sounds easy as fuck on paper, but is in reality the hardest thing one could ever ask of another. To oppose your own limbic system and charge over "No Man's Land" is an extremely hard thing to ask of anyone. Even if literal Utopia/Heaven was on the other end I'd get not wanting to risk it given what no man's land actually was and what charging over it entailed...

I mean, that machine gun nest just got resupplied (if intel is, ironically enough, either comped or supremely competent). They'll have plenty of ammo left by the time they get around to aiming at "me" as it were...