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Thread: LSI and Ne PoLR

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    Hot Scalding Gayser's Avatar
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    Default LSI and Ne PoLR

    Hey guys. I'm semi-dating this LSI guy. I like him a lot and it's easy to talk to him about almost anything. (typical of Activity Partners)

    However, his Ne PoLR is really annoying sometimes. He will often have a hard time admitting that even just two things could both be right at the same time, and can be stubborn/overly harsh. He said to me the other day "sorry for being a hard-ass" and I forgave him, but it kinda keeps happening. He will keep kinda repeating his point over and over again due to Ne Polr, and how that thing must be true- and nothing else can be possible etc. It feels like the exact opposite of Ne's narcissistic-what-if ness.

    He's not aware of socioonics either btw.

    Any advice on how to help him with his Ne PoLR, or should I just date a SLE instead? Lmao. I've tried to navigate around it socially... he's also bewildered by my Te polr sometimes but let's make this about Ne polr please lol. (Ne polr talk about Ne polr!)

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    Hot Scalding Gayser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EIE H View Post
    I say pick your battles. With things you really really care about, you can gradually introduce other perspectives. Other than that you're SOL with LSIs. You acknowledge their perspective, subtly agree with them, and then gradually bring up other perspectives.

    Even EIEs can have a hard time with them and skirt around issues if they don't really care about it. It's usually done through humor and deflection. I have seen several other EIEs do this with LSIs... It's interesting to watch.

    You're better off having open-ended discussions with other types. For me, ILIs work best for this because of shared cognition styles but different objectives.
    That's what I do really, use humor/deflection. He appreciates it because he dual seeks Fe. But the core issues are still there under the surface- and it sometimes feels like masking it too much. And the topic is something we both really care about, but Ne polr is so... Ne polr. Lmao

    Good advice, thanks.

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    Hot Scalding Gayser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EIE H View Post
    On the plus side, if a LSI really likes you and trusts you, they can be incredibly loyal, consistent, and steadfast. The POLR Ne is a trade off.

    So the question remains what do you want out of a partner?
    Oh shit you're really gonna ask an overly ambivalent IEI this question? xD I have no idea what I really want, that's the problem. I think I want the same things. I want somebody a bit more 'normie' but with hot sex too ofc. LoL (just with one person, I'm not a whore) He encourages and supports my video game making hobby.

    He does really like me and trusts me. As far as he can so far anyway, we've only known each other for 2 months.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EIE H View Post
    Ahhh ok. He genuinely sounds like a better fit than your ex-con SLE ex. For your musings and thought exploration, you can stick around us weirdos here. They say that 80-20 rule applies to relationships. Your partner should meet about 80% of your needs (it's up to the individual to decide what those are) and the other 20% should come from other avenues.
    lmao he is MUCH better than that guy. But the funny thing is, they both have the same real first name lol.

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    Holy is the name of my ruthless axe Pyretta VauxDevil's Avatar
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    I've never really felt the need to reduce the tension in case of disagreement when it comes to LSIs, to be honest. The fact that they can get stubborn means I can go in just as hard - not because I feel offended, but because that seems to be a natural causation, and I know I don't have to worry about being too pushy, as it's all well-balanced.

    Agreeing with them just to avoid friction would feel disrespectful towards them and towards my own sentiments, it would mean I assume we can't handle each other, which sounds pretty sad and miserable. Good debates will give birth to new things, iron sharpens iron, and tension or disagreement can create lively and passionate situations (that don't always have to be taken super seriously).

    Even when they become headstrong (to be fair though I usually just see it as a need for cohesive and good arguments), they usually just need time to reassess things, and if it makes sense, they will. Although I painted a picture of bloodshed and warfare, I believe one can remain civilized and simply explain to someone what bothers them. Trying to mask how you think/feel about something will lead to resentment and distance, and instead of recognizing potential issues and incompatibility that could be addressed quickly, it will become a frustrating and tiresome dance on eggshells.

    That being said, a lot depends on the actual topic (if it personally affects one's life, is more of a general one etc.), whether the typing and self-typing is right, or if it's even a phenomena that could/need to be addressed via Socionics.
    Last edited by Pyretta VauxDevil; 05-30-2022 at 01:44 PM.

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    mbti INFJ lookin4waifu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shazaam View Post
    He will keep kinda repeating his point over and over again due to Ne Polr
    Record it and put it on repeat set to a beat, and play it back to him.
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Quote Originally Posted by EIE H View Post
    @Shazaam, I vote for this genius option.
    I will make a rap for the background
    how to enlarge your dragon, click here

    Quote Originally Posted by End View Post
    get ready to get cucked
    Quote Originally Posted by roger557 View Post
    got this Socionics stuff caught by the balls

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    Seed my wickedness The Reality Denialist's Avatar
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    Something that points out hidden meanings exposing more realistic logical structures in everyday statements.

    Lol, reminds of my first math lecture where logic was used in the most asshat ways (and I was like people do not do 1/0 - what is the point to do it in this context).
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    Ding dong your opinion is wrong Teslobo's Avatar
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    You need to create a foundation of uncertainty.
    Don't outright assert an alternative to what he's said, but suggest a possibility about the world that can lead to another conclusion. Stubbornness like this is built on a strong underlying framework and the way it sounds like you're handling it now is like trying to knock down a jenga tower by just taking off the top brick. You need to sow doubt about the things that have brought him to this conclusion.

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    My little brother is LSI. I think he thinks I’m lazy/dumb and doesn’t know how to deal with my emotions. I probably do still act like a child around him haha. He is a sweetheart really but I never see him atm. I’ve decided I’m backing off. I’ll let him come to me/ let him use his head a bit more and figure out how to talk to me? That’s my only plan lol.

    Also, I know two activity pairs who are gay couples. Maybe it works ok..

    I remember starting to ignore my LSI colleague because he seemed like he wanted to be a alone/ be in a mood. Then he just started making these big bambi eyes at me and I realised oh he does like me.

    I’m trying to talk more to a female LSI colleague I used to chat to a lot. She often gets my meaning wrong about stuff- assumes I’m being prejudice or something when I’m assuming she’ll know that I’m actually trying to do the opposite, and I’m just exploring. Again, I probably need to go find her at work instead of listening to her when she insists she prefers to come find me. I think they panic a bit (inside) when you give up on them/ when you feel sad that they don’t understand you. They want us to like them. Let them get a bit sad?
    Last edited by Bethanyclaire; 05-31-2022 at 08:00 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Teslobo View Post
    You need to create a foundation of uncertainty.
    Don't outright assert an alternative to what he's said, but suggest a possibility about the world that can lead to another conclusion. Stubbornness like this is built on a strong underlying framework and the way it sounds like you're handling it now is like trying to knock down a jenga tower by just taking off the top brick. You need to sow doubt about the things that have brought him to this conclusion.
    All polr's can be fixed by just not being a complete idiot with no ability to self reflect and improve. It's just that simple!

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    Or overcoming oppression/ trauma

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