Results 1 to 28 of 28

Thread: FI polr ILE SLE difference

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default FI polr ILE SLE difference

    Difference in how it manifest itself in both?

    From what i saw so far and im more confident about

    ILE FI result itself in them being too trusting at times.

    SLE opposite they become too paranoid like thinking everyone is out to get them but they can kind of somewhat hide it and it fluctuate based on circumstances.

    SLE seems to have easier time maintaining relationships as in letting you know you 2 are still in good terms keeping the right psychological distance but they will still need that reinsurance that you still love them too by not making any "mistakes" at all that's another part of the paranoid side.


    ILE have this thing where they become cold to you suddenly like something is wrong they are more oblivious about the drastic shift in proximity. It can be very unsettling first times but after you get kind of used to it when you realize it's kind of a quirk and nothing personal. They can comeback to you minutes later being sociable again like nothing happened. Idk i got kind of used with one but others people always considered it weird for it and kept complaining about this attitude.



    As for really the ethics aspect more like morality im not really sure about.

    From what i saw SLE are more crual idk if its SE but like this the end justify the mean mentality i really despise it but again if im an LII im talking from an SE polr perspective so i might be biased, maybe it's just my experience too and it's not socionics related but the ones i saw really get a thrill on crushing others to come out on top sometimes it's really unnecessary imo there was no reason for it.



    Now ILE i struggle to see what they do wrong exactly?

    I don't see them really enjoying putting down others like i see some SLE do.

    They can sometimes make an offensive joke too but the way they put it they are more considerate they won't really put you on the spot like a SLE.

    Although they still can do it sometimes in an even more passive aggressive way than SLE i would say so maybe they are not the angels i seem to make them out to be but from my experiences it's very rare and even there it's more light idk.


    Right or wrong is maybe not the good terms

    But how do ILE annoy some of you exactly?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Going to give examples with SLE and ILE i spent most times with, i was more close to the ILE but

    The ILE we could have a nice time talking or playing doing something and really suddenly he become cold and you can't communicate with him at all. I get everyone as their day i can maybe be like that too at times but him it's really distinct its so sudden you don't see it coming at all.

    Let's say we are a playing basketball he would suddenly go to the other side and avoid me. I follow him he avoid eye contact he is cold and just tells me nothing wrong when he is clearly telling me to fuck off with his actions.

    Or we are 3 walking talking outside he would go in front of us create a big distance try to isolate himself all of a sudden. He was talking to us just an instant but rn we are basically strangers to him.

    He was notorious for this. The SLE would say "that's it he is on his period" when that happens i remember


    The SLE didn't had this cold thing but it was more you didn't laughed at one of his jokes and all of a sudden something is wrong he ask you why are you mad and he won't leave you alone until he get some reassurement.

    Also might be cause he can make some offensive jokes at the expense of someone to make other laugh let's say im the target of it. It wasn't cool to me but like im used to it ik you like me we are still friends so ok nothing too bad im just a bit annoyed but friendship isn't at stake just leave me alone a bit we can still talk just im not really that much in a fe mood super expressive since you just suppressed me.

    He get self conscious about it and automatically try getting positive feedback from you which is even more annoying.

    Just apologize and leave me alone if you realize you did something wrong or change subject idk.


    Or let's say you go somewhere with some friends and didn't call him he would be offended and ask why you didn't ask him, telling you things like are we really friends ect.

    Even tho considering the context there was nothing wrong at all plus he can do the exact same to you but it's ok when it's him since obviously there is nothing wrong.

    Maybe the ILE get offended too but he hide it cause different quadra values?

    Beta have this your with me or against me mindset i can confirm but not sure it relates to the context but perhaps why they are more vocal and expressive about those things?

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,091
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    ILE can make offensive jokes and not see why it hurt somebody, not know why it was wrong to say, just be completely confused and won't apologize, irreverent, act like they don't care, they don't want limits on what is ok and not ok to say, they don't want to be bothered with trying to figure that out, just "I said what I said stop being butthurt" even if they make fun of dead family members sometimes.
    Also if you stop talking to ILE for awhile because of that they don't do like your SLE friend and keep bugging you to find out what's wrong, they look afraid like you hate them, they are silent, scared if the next thing they say to you will reveal that you actually hate them. So either they say WHATEVER they think or they say nothing at all, not much inbetween.

    SLE, not too sure, but there was one time me and my SLE friend were play wrestling, he went to far and started choking me out and I couldn't breathe, I tapped out and said "Hey man that was too hard!". Instead of apologizing, he felt annoyed that I accused him of doing something wrong and didn't want the responsibility of figuring out why it was wrong so he just yelled back " WHAAAAAAT?! IT WASN'T THAT BAD!" like an angry teenager yelling at his mom, but he doesn't realize he wasn't the one getting choked, I was, so how can he tell me what I felt, I couldn't breathe.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    ILE can make offensive jokes and not see why it hurt somebody, not know why it was wrong to say, just be completely confused and won't apologize, irreverent, act like they don't care, they don't want limits on what is ok and not ok to say, they don't want to be bothered with trying to figure that out, just "I said what I said stop being butthurt" even if they make fun of dead family members sometimes.
    Also if you stop talking to ILE for awhile because of that they don't do like your SLE friend and keep bugging you to find out what's wrong, they look afraid like you hate them, they are silent, scared if the next thing they say to you will reveal that you actually hate them. So either they say WHATEVER they think or they say nothing at all, not much inbetween.

    SLE, not too sure, but there was one time me and my SLE friend were play wrestling, he went to far and started choking me out and I couldn't breathe, I tapped out and said "Hey man that was too hard!". Instead of apologizing, he felt annoyed that I accused him of doing something wrong and didn't want the responsibility of figuring out why it was wrong so he just yelled back " WHAAAAAAT?! IT WASN'T THAT BAD!" like an angry teenager yelling at his mom, but he doesn't realize he wasn't the one getting choked, I was, so how can he tell me what I felt, I couldn't breathe.
    I think it depends on individuals.

    It might depends on what you consider offensive too.

    I rarely ever got offended by an ILE.

    Its probably my bias with SE too. With SLE their banter they directly and personally attack you and play on your weaknesses atleast from my experience they have no problem using sensitive things about someone to personally attack them, i don't respond well to it but i see with others they attack back and they go back and forth and they somehow don't end up taking it personally.

    Like with ILE i get this ok you was trying to make me laugh i see how it's funny or i see the point they are trying to make might be why im never really offended

    With SLE im like there is no way he was trying to make me laugh, i don't understand why he is attacking me directly rn and i assume the worse.

    Also one thing FI can result in them overdoing it.

    The ILE was constantly apologizing for everything overdoing it when there was nothing wrong.

    But for his random mood swings he never apologized.

    Or one time i remember i bringed up a random subject of conv and he told me he didn't gaf i didn't got offended idk why i just didn't saw anything wrong but a SEI friend reprimanded him told him to not be disrespectful and they got into an argument about this he really did not respond well to this.

    It was weird too cause i didn't catch the disrespect at first glance like to me they were arguing about something invisible that only they can understand.


    Would be interesting if someone could share stories about ILE being offensive and mean.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Yeah the program function and valued elements.

    SLE SE directly will come at you personally that's their way of dealing with the subject.

    ILE unvalued SE will avoid direct attack and provok a confrontation so no real personal direct attacks less aggressive.

    Now again have trouble but
    ILE i guess they will voice opinion makes jokes or say anything that is on their mind Ne without really caring how someone feels about what they are about to say on any topic even the most sensitive ones and cause of their NE it happen more often than a SLE who might just not care about it?

    Like yeah not really caring what something mean to someone will just voice whatever their mind came up with and thoughts needed to be shared cause it was interesting to them.
    Last edited by Roww roww roww ur boaat; 05-15-2022 at 02:13 AM.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,091
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roww roww roww ur boaat View Post
    I think it depends on individuals.

    It might depends on what you consider offensive too.

    I rarely ever got offended by an ILE.

    Its probably my bias with SE too. With SLE their banter they directly and personally attack you and play on your weaknesses atleast from my experience they have no problem using sensitive things about someone to personally attack them, i don't respond well to it but i see with others they attack back and they go back and forth and they somehow don't end up taking it personally.
    ILE does this too, alot actually. Can't tell you how many times a couple of ILEs I know have done this to me and this is the thing that has pissed me off more than any other type. And I'm talking about they've said some super fucked up things to me, things that should have lost a tooth for.

    Would be interesting if someone could share stories about ILE being offensive and mean.
    I had a whole topic on here about exactly that with my ILE roommate and an ILE friend. They both pissed me off more than anybody else I know. And not just me.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,091
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roww roww roww ur boaat View Post
    Yeah the program function and valued elements.



    ILE i guess they will voice opinion makes jokes or say anything that is on their mind Ne without really caring how someone feels about what they are about to say on any topic even the most sensitive ones and cause of their NE it happen more often than a SLE who might just not care about it?
    Yup.

    Like yeah not really caring what something mean to someone will just voice whatever their mind came up with and thoughts needed to be shared cause it was interesting to them.
    This makes alot of snse for Fi PoLR, because this is exactly what my ILE roommate does. I have found the answer to deal with him though and it has worked with him an another ILE I know, and now he stops doing this.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Yup.


    This makes alot of sense for Fi PoLR, because this is exactly what my ILE roommate does. I have found the answer to deal with him though and it has worked with him an another ILE I know, and now he stops doing this.
    Actually you reminded me that my ILE friend did made jokes where he used sensitive things about me a couples of times and like he was wrong, that's what I talked about in they still do it too at times but in an even more passive aggressive way but yeah even here I had an easier time taking it, saw an explanation for it or idk some might even pass under my radar maybe why I say it's more rare. I read that ILE were very good at finding all kind of fucked up reasons to justify their wrong doing it might be this and i follow it cause NE valued maybe

    Just realized this thread is me trying to do some kind of mental gymnastics to understand SLE SE which i will never be able to understand it like i want it too since it's my polr.

    Its not ILE i don't understand i do or atleast enough to where i don't get offended as much by their antics.

    Its SLE i don't understand that's why i put ILE in a better light rn and get more butthurt by SLE.

    Also what's the answer you find to deal with ILE?

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,091
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roww roww roww ur boaat View Post
    Actually you reminded me that my ILE friend did made jokes where he used sensitive things about me a couples of times and like he was wrong, that's what I talked about in they still do it too at times but in an even more passive aggressive way but yeah even here I had an easier time taking it, saw an explanation for it or idk some might even pass under my radar maybe why I say it's more rare. I read that ILE were very good at finding all kind of fucked up reasons to justify their wrong doing it might be this and i follow it cause NE valued maybe

    Just realized this thread is me trying to do some kind of mental gymnastics to understand SLE SE which i will never be able to understand it like i want it too since it's my polr.

    Its not ILE i don't understand i do or atleast enough to where i don't get offended as much by their antics.

    Its SLE i don't understand that's why i put ILE in a better light rn and get more butthurt by SLE.

    Also what's the answer you find to deal with ILE?
    Since I'm EII I have supervision ITR with ILE, and much of the time the supervision is ILE saying something they shouldn't have or doing something I thought was unfair or even physically hitting me(which happened alot) and me getting mad. Yelling back, telling them what they did was wrong, or even trying to get them back to see how it feels to do what they did to me has never ever worked, it just fuels the fire, they LOVE the reaction they get, good/bad doesn't matter, as long as it's a big reaction it excites them and that's pissed me off to no end(I punched an ILE in the back of the head thinking that would put an end to his shit and he still didn't get it and kept f*cking with me days later).

    With my first ILE friend he was too much, he acted like a f*cking child and pissed me off and our other friends, like he existed to annoy people, not before you were friends of course, to new people he was nice, but once he saw you as a friend boom it's on, throwing shit at you, hitting you, using sensitive info against you, the works. I got so exhausted being around him I just started avoiding him. And guess what happened, after about 3 weeks of avoiding him he started "behaving", he almost acted scared to piss me off in anyway when he was around me, he even sounded nervous talking to me like I would "abandon" him again. I was conflicted at first because, yay finally he respects my boundaries but it's unfortunate I have to treat him like this to get what I want instead of behaving like a normal person. This worked over me punching him in the back of the f*cking head.

    My 2nd ILE friend, sameshit, pissed me off to no end because he would use sensitive things to cut me deep, had a slapping-me-in-the-face phase, slapping him back just caused it to keep going back and forth, and he did all this all for his pleasure, just for a laugh, so I gave him the silent treatment, and whatta ya know he also started "behaving", no more offensive jokes no more trolling hitting nada, when he talked to me I could tell he felt nervous also, like he had to watch what he said or I was gone again. With him I've had 2 do it a number of times and it's worked over and over again, its like I have to nuke our friendship for a couple weeks before we get comfortable talking again because he does stuff that just pushes me away.

    I've also seen ILE make jokes that aren't hurtful on a universal level but did end up hurting the person simply because the ILE could not tell how much value the person placed on whatever the ILE is joking about.
    Last edited by Lord Pixel; 05-16-2022 at 09:18 AM.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Since I'm EII I have supervision ITR with ILE, and much of the time the supervision is ILE saying something they shouldn't have or doing something I thought was unfair or even physically hitting me(which happened alot) and me getting mad. Yelling back, telling them what they did was wrong, or even trying to get them back to see how it feels to do what they did to me has never ever worked, it just fuels the fire, they LOVE the reaction they get, good/bad doesn't matter, as long as it's a big reaction it excites them and that's pissed me off to no end(I punched an ILE in the back of the head thinking that would put an end to his shit and he still didn't get it and kept f*cking with me days later).

    With my first ILE friend he was too much, he acted like a f*cking child and pissed me off and our other friends, like he existed to annoy people, not before you were friends of course, to new people he was nice, but once he saw you as a friend boom it's on, throwing shit at you, hitting you, using sensitive info against you, the works. I got so exhausted being around him I just started avoiding him. And guess what happened, after about 3 weeks of avoiding him he started "behaving", he almost acted scared to piss me off in anyway when he was around me, he even sounded nervous talking to me like I would "abandon" him again. I was conflicted at first because, yay finally he respects my boundaries but it's unfortunate I have to treat him like this to get what I want instead of behaving like a normal person. This worked over me punching him in the back of the f*cking head.

    My 2nd ILE friend, sameshit, pissed me off to no end because he would use sensitive things to cut me deep, had a slapping-me-in-the-face phase, slapping him back just caused it to keep going back and forth, and he did all this all for his pleasure, just for a laugh, so I gave him the silent treatment, and whatta ya know he also started "behaving", no more offensive jokes no more trolling hitting nada, when he talked to me I could tell he felt nervous also, like he had to watch what he said or I was gone again. With him I've had 2 do it a number of times and it's worked over and over again, its like I have to nuke our friendship for a couple weeks before we get comfortable talking again because he does stuff that just pushes me away.

    I've also seen ILE make jokes that aren't hurtful on a universal level but did end up hurting the person simply because the ILE could not tell how much value the person placed on whatever the ILE is joking about.
    Lol you pretty much described my experience with SLE. How when they get a reaction it fuels them even more.

    The physical hitting for fun and use sensitive things to cut deep really was what the most annoying.

    Yeah i think factors other than socionics affect this z good amount . Cause i find ILE more chill than SLE like i don't have to worry with ILE about them getting on my nerves or doing stuff like this i enjoy their company more but it seems i just got close to one who was more calm.

    SLE i constantly have to worry about ok is he gonna try to annoy me this time in what kind of mood he his ect.

    Also you're supervisor it was probably a different feeling for you.

    I cannot get back at SLE since they supervise me. They don't even understand I think, it probably seems like i overreact to others.

    The thing with SLE is that they can make me laugh without hurting me or offending me ik it cause they do it plenty of times and they are very funny when they get me going i can't keep serious, unfortunately sometimes when they feel like it they start being really heavy for no reasons clearly trying to offend and hurt there is genuinely no fun to me seriously no one is even laughing around just this heavy atmosphere that's the SE i don't understand i think.

    Also sometime they critizice me in a way i find offending that is really the supervision classic part. Cause even if it's a bit hurtful atm i kind of get them and i really see no bad intention they genuinely speak their mind and what they think is best i just disagree with their way of seing it.

    Im more ok with that and even can be willing to listen.

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    TIM
    LSI-Ti-H 146w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    632
    Mentioned
    26 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    With both types, it's mostly them going against social norms in many ways, and with ILE-Ti often being totally random. But some LSI-Se are like that (random like the ILE-Ti, and going against social norms and making jokes some people find offensive like ILE-Ti and SLE-Ti do). Donald Trump's Fi-PoLR was obvious and his behaviors resulting from that are why he lost re-election.

    It's usually not a big deal for me, except for when ILE-Ti do certain things as sharp surprises; ILE-Ti are not for people who care at all about predictability... I do sometimes and even then ILE-Ti often tend to be too random for me (I've found that LSI-Se and ILE-Ti are the most random and unpredictable types; LSI-Se are fine with unpredictability and randomness in return, but ILE-Ti complain when someone is as unpredictable or random as they are). SLE-Ti tend to be more predictable with their Fi-PoLR, whereas ILE-Ti are less predictable, much more random and care less if there are consequences to it. Donald Trump was an exception, he was an unpredictable SLE-Ti who didn't care about possible consequences.
    I'm not only psychologically disturbed, I'm also QueeferSutherlandJeffersonianSecessionist87@sucksd ick.com


  12. #12

    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    1,091
    Mentioned
    57 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roww roww roww ur boaat View Post
    Lol you pretty much described my experience with SLE. How when they get a reaction it fuels them even more.

    The physical hitting for fun and use sensitive things to cut deep really was what the most annoying.
    I'm glad I'm not the only one, because for awhile I blamed myself for not having thick enough skin, but when I saw that this irritates other people too, probably to a lesser degree, I started to see that this isn't a me thing but an issue that those 2 had.

    Yeah i think factors other than socionics affect this z good amount .
    I will say I do know other ILEs, not around my age, and I haven't had much issue with them, but it seems with the 7w8 variant this rough play is more common.

  13. #13
    persimmonism's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni 4w5
    Posts
    650
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roww roww roww ur boaat View Post
    ILE have this thing where they become cold to you suddenly like something is wrong they are more oblivious about the drastic shift in proximity. It can be very unsettling first times but after you get kind of used to it when you realize it's kind of a quirk and nothing personal. They can comeback to you minutes later being sociable again like nothing happened. Idk i got kind of used with one but others people always considered it weird for it and kept complaining about this attitude.
    I haven't actually noticed this. Can you elaborate?

    But how do ILE annoy some of you exactly?
    When they go off and do something else all of a sudden without telling you what it is. Oftentimes it's just something they wanna get over with so they can go back to hanging out with you and have piece of mind but god.. communication is a thing.

    I actually enjoy how Fi PoLRs can banter without holding back. Sometimes it hurts but it's easy for me to get over it as it feels so not-personal and non-judgemental coming from them. I think they can be cruel which is why the equally cruel Fi demo type (in their own way) is their dual =)
    I have this one physical insecurity, and I told my boyfriend after some prodding, and it turns out that this is now his favorite ammunition when he makes fun of me. I don't know how to describe it, I should be mad and insulted, and on the outside I act like it jokingly, but in reality on the inside i'm actually super happy he says it. it's half purely loving cruel banter and another half that him mentioning it, but in the so non-judgemental and matter-of-fact way that Fi PoLRs do, makes me feel like hey it's not a big deal actually..

  14. #14
    ☽ the cutest type ☾ Aquamarine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    SEI 9w1
    Posts
    1,171
    Mentioned
    70 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Since I'm EII I have supervision ITR with ILE, and much of the time the supervision is ILE saying something they shouldn't have or doing something I thought was unfair or even physically hitting me(which happened alot) and me getting mad. Yelling back, telling them what they did was wrong, or even trying to get them back to see how it feels to do what they did to me has never ever worked, it just fuels the fire, they LOVE the reaction they get, good/bad doesn't matter, as long as it's a big reaction it excites them and that's pissed me off to no end(I punched an ILE in the back of the head thinking that would put an end to his shit and he still didn't get it and kept f*cking with me days later).

    With my first ILE friend he was too much, he acted like a f*cking child and pissed me off and our other friends, like he existed to annoy people, not before you were friends of course, to new people he was nice, but once he saw you as a friend boom it's on, throwing shit at you, hitting you, using sensitive info against you, the works. I got so exhausted being around him I just started avoiding him. And guess what happened, after about 3 weeks of avoiding him he started "behaving", he almost acted scared to piss me off in anyway when he was around me, he even sounded nervous talking to me like I would "abandon" him again. I was conflicted at first because, yay finally he respects my boundaries but it's unfortunate I have to treat him like this to get what I want instead of behaving like a normal person. This worked over me punching him in the back of the f*cking head.

    My 2nd ILE friend, sameshit, pissed me off to no end because he would use sensitive things to cut me deep, had a slapping-me-in-the-face phase, slapping him back just caused it to keep going back and forth, and he did all this all for his pleasure, just for a laugh, so I gave him the silent treatment, and whatta ya know he also started "behaving", no more offensive jokes no more trolling hitting nada, when he talked to me I could tell he felt nervous also, like he had to watch what he said or I was gone again. With him I've had 2 do it a number of times and it's worked over and over again, its like I have to nuke our friendship for a couple weeks before we get comfortable talking again because he does stuff that just pushes me away.

    I've also seen ILE make jokes that aren't hurtful on a universal level but did end up hurting the person simply because the ILE could not tell how much value the person placed on whatever the ILE is joking about.
    I'm reading this and all I can think is this sounds insufferable
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




  15. #15

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by persimmonism View Post
    I haven't actually noticed this. Can you elaborate?



    When they go off and do something else all of a sudden without telling you what it is. Oftentimes it's just something they wanna get over with so they can go back to hanging out with you and have piece of mind but god.. communication is a thing.

    I actually enjoy how Fi PoLRs can banter without holding back. Sometimes it hurts but it's easy for me to get over it as it feels so not-personal and non-judgemental coming from them. I think they can be cruel which is why the equally cruel Fi demo type (in their own way) is their dual =)
    I have this one physical insecurity, and I told my boyfriend after some prodding, and it turns out that this is now his favorite ammunition when he makes fun of me. I don't know how to describe it, I should be mad and insulted, and on the outside I act like it jokingly, but in reality on the inside i'm actually super happy he says it. it's half purely loving cruel banter and another half that him mentioning it, but in the so non-judgemental and matter-of-fact way that Fi PoLRs do, makes me feel like hey it's not a big deal actually..
    About the cold thing i gave examples in others posts but ill try elaborate more.

    Basically you're having a good time with him and like you think you two have a good connection or something plus you know each others for some time now but all of a sudden it's like you're a stranger. None else than peoples you see on the streets everyday to him. He try to create a large psychological distance with you which indicates you're bothering him but what's unsettling is that it can happen right after him being sociable and friendly with you, him being friendly to you made you think you two were close and he was enjoying your company today but here the atmosphere switch suddenly. Body language, cold response, intonation it's impossible to talk, he look sad angry . When something like that happen you automatically conclude something is wrong but it's nothing more to it and that's the thing it's absurd he will tell you there is nothing when you ask him but everything indicate something is wrong so you can push even more and you can quickly get into something bad.

    It might just be him and im wrong but in the ILE description it's told again and again it really explained to me what it was it was this behavior.

    Here: ILE does not feel well interpersonal distances i.e. how close or far he is with someone.

    Can be quite inconsistent in relations with his family and friends. At first he is democratic down to familiarity, then suddenly stern and unapproachable, as if they are strangers

    Occasionally has sharp changes of mood. Noise, humor, activity, cheerfulness alternate with depression and uncommunicability.


    Its not that bad if you just let them be imo like i said it's nothing really personal i believe they comeback to you after and everythings fine.




    You mentioned them going off and doing something else all of a sudden and not communicating

    Not sure we are talking about the same thing but when i said others never really accepted this that might he what i talked about what. They are very volatile always have their own things in mind so it's hard to plan something with them or commit them to anything and cause they don't really want to communicate clearly and properly its mission impossible they are too slippery, you can't even adjust too find a compromise it's them who decide basically. That it's a mix of NE with the FI i believe and also might be NI unvalued but not sure.

    I think i see what you mean where you talk about the Fi non judgemental way where it just doesn't matter at this point.



    I still can't when it come from SLE tho it's hard for me to get over it but even them like later after long time i get this too

  16. #16
    PinKDiGiT18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    EII-1Ne 4w5 sx/so
    Posts
    543
    Mentioned
    43 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Since I'm EII I have supervision ITR with ILE, and much of the time the supervision is ILE saying something they shouldn't have or doing something I thought was unfair or even physically hitting me(which happened alot) and me getting mad. Yelling back, telling them what they did was wrong, or even trying to get them back to see how it feels to do what they did to me has never ever worked, it just fuels the fire, they LOVE the reaction they get, good/bad doesn't matter, as long as it's a big reaction it excites them and that's pissed me off to no end(I punched an ILE in the back of the head thinking that would put an end to his shit and he still didn't get it and kept f*cking with me days later).

    With my first ILE friend he was too much, he acted like a f*cking child and pissed me off and our other friends, like he existed to annoy people, not before you were friends of course, to new people he was nice, but once he saw you as a friend boom it's on, throwing shit at you, hitting you, using sensitive info against you, the works. I got so exhausted being around him I just started avoiding him. And guess what happened, after about 3 weeks of avoiding him he started "behaving", he almost acted scared to piss me off in anyway when he was around me, he even sounded nervous talking to me like I would "abandon" him again. I was conflicted at first because, yay finally he respects my boundaries but it's unfortunate I have to treat him like this to get what I want instead of behaving like a normal person. This worked over me punching him in the back of the f*cking head.

    My 2nd ILE friend, sameshit, pissed me off to no end because he would use sensitive things to cut me deep, had a slapping-me-in-the-face phase, slapping him back just caused it to keep going back and forth, and he did all this all for his pleasure, just for a laugh, so I gave him the silent treatment, and whatta ya know he also started "behaving", no more offensive jokes no more trolling hitting nada, when he talked to me I could tell he felt nervous also, like he had to watch what he said or I was gone again. With him I've had 2 do it a number of times and it's worked over and over again, its like I have to nuke our friendship for a couple weeks before we get comfortable talking again because he does stuff that just pushes me away.

    I've also seen ILE make jokes that aren't hurtful on a universal level but did end up hurting the person simply because the ILE could not tell how much value the person placed on whatever the ILE is joking about.
    I feel as though I have experienced the female version of this…

  17. #17
    chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    TIM
    ILE-Ni
    Posts
    4,172
    Mentioned
    114 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    Since I'm EII I have supervision ITR with ILE, and much of the time the supervision is ILE saying something they shouldn't have or doing something I thought was unfair or even physically hitting me(which happened alot) and me getting mad. Yelling back, telling them what they did was wrong, or even trying to get them back to see how it feels to do what they did to me has never ever worked, it just fuels the fire, they LOVE the reaction they get, good/bad doesn't matter, as long as it's a big reaction it excites them and that's pissed me off to no end(I punched an ILE in the back of the head thinking that would put an end to his shit and he still didn't get it and kept f*cking with me days later).

    With my first ILE friend he was too much, he acted like a f*cking child and pissed me off and our other friends, like he existed to annoy people, not before you were friends of course, to new people he was nice, but once he saw you as a friend boom it's on, throwing shit at you, hitting you, using sensitive info against you, the works. I got so exhausted being around him I just started avoiding him. And guess what happened, after about 3 weeks of avoiding him he started "behaving", he almost acted scared to piss me off in anyway when he was around me, he even sounded nervous talking to me like I would "abandon" him again. I was conflicted at first because, yay finally he respects my boundaries but it's unfortunate I have to treat him like this to get what I want instead of behaving like a normal person. This worked over me punching him in the back of the f*cking head.

    My 2nd ILE friend, sameshit, pissed me off to no end because he would use sensitive things to cut me deep, had a slapping-me-in-the-face phase, slapping him back just caused it to keep going back and forth, and he did all this all for his pleasure, just for a laugh, so I gave him the silent treatment, and whatta ya know he also started "behaving", no more offensive jokes no more trolling hitting nada, when he talked to me I could tell he felt nervous also, like he had to watch what he said or I was gone again. With him I've had 2 do it a number of times and it's worked over and over again, its like I have to nuke our friendship for a couple weeks before we get comfortable talking again because he does stuff that just pushes me away.

    I've also seen ILE make jokes that aren't hurtful on a universal level but did end up hurting the person simply because the ILE could not tell how much value the person placed on whatever the ILE is joking about.
    I know three ILEs and they don't act like this. They will, however, attack your intellect.

    I know some young SLEs who act how you described.


    One of the ILEs studies Jungian psychology.

    See MU4, and Xerx. I doubt they act like that...there's other ILEs on the forum who don't act like that either. I just can't remember their names.
    Last edited by chriscorey; 05-19-2022 at 11:29 AM.
    “The sweetest pleasures are those which are hardest to be won.”
    Casanova, The Story of My Life

  18. #18

    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    TIM
    H-LII
    Posts
    44
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    I know three ILEs and they don't act like this. They will, however, attack your intellect.

    I know some young SLEs who act how you described.


    One of the ILEs studies Jungian psychology.

    See MU4, and Xerx. I doubt they act like that...there's other ILEs on the forum who don't act like that either. I just can't remember their names.
    That's what i thoughts ILE don't really try to purposely annoy you as hard as an SLE since they don't like direct confrontation, they don't have the stamina of SLE for those things either. It's more a SLE thing from my experience, it's cause since they feel confortable in competitive situations and get easily bored they try to make things a bit more dark and heavy when they feel like it put pressure on you they feel energized by this.

    The problem is that they want to get the last word absolutely over you so there is no limit to where it can go.

    Some people seem to know how to play this game with them idk how they do it.

  19. #19
    Averroes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    TIM
    ESI
    Posts
    818
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Unhealthy SLE: Untrustworthy, sadistic. Better sense of boundaries but will flout them regardless to provoke/humiliate someone, get what they want or if they consider you weak or beneath them

    Unhealthy ILE: Annoying, disrespectful, creepy
    Last edited by Averroes; 05-19-2022 at 07:12 PM.

  20. #20
    Lycantrope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2021
    TIM
    SLI
    Posts
    172
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roww roww roww ur boaat View Post
    The SLE didn't had this cold thing but it was more you didn't laughed at one of his jokes and all of a sudden something is wrong he ask you why are you mad and he won't leave you alone until he get some reassurement
    They can be pushy, that damn supervision is draining I tell you. The ILEs I met were nothing like that, they were pretty chill actually

  21. #21
    Baqer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    ILE-De
    Posts
    540
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    See MU4, and Xerx. I doubt they act like that...there's other ILEs on the forum who don't act like that either. I just can't remember their names.
    My name is Baqer

  22. #22
    Shazaam's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Lamp
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    13,485
    Mentioned
    575 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I think you already figured it out. ILE too trusting, SLE not trusting enough.

    My ILE friend will give anybody a ride- I don't know how he does it. It's not even that he's 'nice' - he's not nice socially that much, he's an arrogant jerk-as a logical thinking type str8 man, he's aware of his own jerkiness. I notice ILEs will do this a lot - both male and female. They will be like 'I know I can be a jerk.' SLEs otoh seem more genuinely aloof/more unaware of their own jerkiness?

    ILEs are Paladins, and SLEs are Warriors. Hehe.

  23. #23
    chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    TIM
    ILE-Ni
    Posts
    4,172
    Mentioned
    114 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    My name is Baqer
    I'm sorry Baqer. I forgot about you because you stopped posting as much on the forum. Yes, Baqer is also ILE and I can't see him acting that way either.
    “The sweetest pleasures are those which are hardest to be won.”
    Casanova, The Story of My Life

  24. #24
    Baqer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    ILE-De
    Posts
    540
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    I'm sorry Baqer. I forgot about you because you stopped posting as much on the forum. Yes, Baqer is also ILE and I can't see him acting that way either.
    Wdym I've very capable of being a horrible person. It's not that hard ya know.

  25. #25
    chriscorey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    TIM
    ILE-Ni
    Posts
    4,172
    Mentioned
    114 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    Wdym I've very capable of being a horrible person. It's not that hard ya know.
    Well all I have to go on is your posts and you seem pretty chill to me. lol
    “The sweetest pleasures are those which are hardest to be won.”
    Casanova, The Story of My Life

  26. #26
    Shazaam's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Lamp
    TIM
    AB-IEI-Ni
    Posts
    13,485
    Mentioned
    575 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    EII: He shot puts infants your honor. Infants. *concerned EII voice, all break-y and trembly* A-and he did it while laughing about it. He ENJOYED IT. He's sick. He's... a monster. We as Deltas must do this something about this in society. We must take action and hold the perpetrator accountable.

    LSE judge listens and gasps with mouth-wide-open in disgust.

    LSE Judge: I hereby sentence all Fe valuers, to DEATH! *pounds gavel*

    ILI to LSE: It was just a joke...

    LSE: (feels embarrassed and supervised) Oh.... ahem. Well... *red-face* He still MIGHT could have done it! Respect the Ne! Uh- I will appeal, and change the sentence to 2 hours community service inst-

    Too late!

    =(

    IEI bard, dressed as an Oompa Loompa:

    ~ and that's why Deltas can't have too much power
    And that's why Deltas should read more between the lines
    And that's why Deltas can't have too much power
    Too much holier-than-thou is like an infected bramble twine ~

  27. #27
    Baqer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2021
    TIM
    ILE-De
    Posts
    540
    Mentioned
    45 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chriscorey View Post
    Well all I have to go on is your posts and you seem pretty chill to me. lol
    Naw you gotta trust me it's all an act I can put up on the forum to convince people, in real life I torture small children for fun.

  28. #28
    persimmonism's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    TIM
    IEI-Ni 4w5
    Posts
    650
    Mentioned
    44 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roww roww roww ur boaat View Post
    About the cold thing i gave examples in others posts but ill try elaborate more.

    Basically you're having a good time with him and like you think you two have a good connection or something plus you know each others for some time now but all of a sudden it's like you're a stranger. None else than peoples you see on the streets everyday to him. He try to create a large psychological distance with you which indicates you're bothering him but what's unsettling is that it can happen right after him being sociable and friendly with you, him being friendly to you made you think you two were close and he was enjoying your company today but here the atmosphere switch suddenly. Body language, cold response, intonation it's impossible to talk, he look sad angry . When something like that happen you automatically conclude something is wrong but it's nothing more to it and that's the thing it's absurd he will tell you there is nothing when you ask him but everything indicate something is wrong so you can push even more and you can quickly get into something bad.

    It might just be him and im wrong but in the ILE description it's told again and again it really explained to me what it was it was this behavior.

    Here: ILE does not feel well interpersonal distances i.e. how close or far he is with someone.

    Can be quite inconsistent in relations with his family and friends. At first he is democratic down to familiarity, then suddenly stern and unapproachable, as if they are strangers

    Occasionally has sharp changes of mood. Noise, humor, activity, cheerfulness alternate with depression and uncommunicability.


    Its not that bad if you just let them be imo like i said it's nothing really personal i believe they comeback to you after and everythings fine.




    You mentioned them going off and doing something else all of a sudden and not communicating

    Not sure we are talking about the same thing but when i said others never really accepted this that might he what i talked about what. They are very volatile always have their own things in mind so it's hard to plan something with them or commit them to anything and cause they don't really want to communicate clearly and properly its mission impossible they are too slippery, you can't even adjust too find a compromise it's them who decide basically. That it's a mix of NE with the FI i believe and also might be NI unvalued but not sure.

    I think i see what you mean where you talk about the Fi non judgemental way where it just doesn't matter at this point.



    I still can't when it come from SLE tho it's hard for me to get over it but even them like later after long time i get this too
    Maybe he is SX blind?
    Especially SO/SP we have a thing where we almost become so/sx in how beckoning we become, but then suddenly the need to go 180 and recollect ourselves swings in. The thing with spending time with someone and then still feeling like a stranger the next time is another thing very common to the SX blind experience.

    Back to socionics, here is an anecdote, make of it what you will.. when we were first getting to know each other it was in the context of a third friend that he had actually known for longer than me; I was the newbie. Then she got upset because he had basically once again shown how much more he cared about me than about her, but this time in a major way. keep in mind this was within 2 weeks of knowing each other. i had actually called him a week prior out of the blue to warn him to be more careful with his friendship with her, and that's when i learned that he honestly didn't care much about their friendship and it really shook me. because they hung out a lot? i think Fi PoLRs need to be taught a little to value these things. but anyway, back to the argument, this was before i had had much influence on him yet and i made it so the 3 of us had a talk and the whole time he was trying to simply clear my name even if it meant burning a bridge with her. which i sort of sensed and i got pretty upset at him afterwards, also out of some loyalty to her. they need to be explained over and over again by a nagging Fi demo to put in effort in relationships.
    i'm not saying your friend doesn't care about you, it's also that a lot of the time they kinda have a warped view of relationships and therefore their view of what goes into one, how one acts can also be warped. time and time again i see him acting in a weird way and i pull him aside and he gives this explanation that's totally disconnected with reality and i have to explain that that's not actually how human dynamics work or that he should probably be doing something differently.

    sorry my post is super disjunct, it's too late tonight for me to spend time editing this

    " ILE does not feel well interpersonal distances i.e. how close or far he is with someone."
    yeah, from my POV and the other girl's and any other outsider, they were solid friends, yet from his POV for some reason she was just this person he happened to be spending a lot of time with recently (???) jarring when i discovered this. actually, yeah now that i remember, i remember thinking to myself, so this is what Fi PoLR really is like. it's that bad, huh. the disconnect.

    however, what you wrote in the first paragraph is not something i've experienced. actually, scratch that. i have a close ILE female friend (whose presentation of Fi PoLR is much different) and sometimes her judgement gets really off and she, who is normally very expressive kind and bubbly, 180's and gets very serious, cold, stern, insistent. but what i've found is that it's often that the accidental delivery is simply not aligned with her actual emotion.
    also, if she was actually upset, it's often also a cause of other things and not the person in particular or also an amalgamation of small things. ILEs just arent that sensitive to what a person did, theyre not like a Fi base who gets insulted so easily lol. chances are it has nothing to do with you and maybe they just got pissy cause their muscles hurt and it's finally really getting to them , and there was no Si base to tell them why they feel uncomfortable and also to not to sleep in that weird contorted position they sleep in every night.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •