Enneagram subtypes (according to John Luckovich)

[Tim]

​Self-Preservation Ones

Self-Preservation Ones seek to experience Essential Integrity through their lifestyle and well-being, and they put a great deal of energy into determining the best way to live in accordance with their values. For this type, living with integrity means making sure the choices they make correspond to their principles. Every area of life is considered and scrutinized: the right diet, work, hygiene, and even how the day is structured and how time is spent, because creating coherence between their personal values and how they are expressed in micro and macro details help the Self-Preservation One find clarity, orientation, and purpose.

Self-Preservation Ones are deeply considerate of aspects of their lives that most people take for granted. They may, for example, be inclined to put in the extra time and research to avoid purchasing personal products that were tested on animals and find those that are ethically sourced, and they may go several steps further to make sure that reforms and improvements are applied to areas where standards or integrity seems to be lacking. For this reason, many Self-Preservation Ones take an interest in politics, law, and other systems that regulate the flow of resources and sustainability, seeking the maximum fairness and justice. It’s also common for Self- Preservation Ones to have a deeply curious side that lends itself to thorough investigations or philosophical inquiry that may be expressed as a kind of reveling in awe of the patterns and intelligence they find in natural systems, like the environment or astronomy.

Many Self-Preservation Ones can exhibit a great deal of anxiety around lifestyle choices. Their home, for example, is often the object of emotional fuss. Contrary to stereotypes, it’s not always the case that Self-Preservation Ones’ living spaces are perfectly tidied and ordered, but there is almost always some clear intentionality. It might be aesthetically “just right,” it might represent an ideal environment for caring for a family, or it might be an expression of a particular kind of lifestyle.

Self-Preservation Ones are also typically quite frugal and have strong boundaries around money and can be surprisingly intense about territory and exerting control over their autonomy. They can emphasize correct procedures and correct habits, in themselves and in others. For distressed Self-Preservation Ones, there is little room for disruptions or flexibility outside narrow parameters. Therefore, punitive self-control can be met with “leaks” whereby the One tries to release some of the pressure built up around their harsh inner critic, such as being extremely choosy around their diet and then binging on sugar after a lengthy period of “good behavior.”

This type has an especially strong sense of how the mundane details of life are connected to a feeling of something sacred, divine, or at least purposeful, and thus, like all Type Ones, there is often an underlying feeling of grief in regards to the world. Unlike Social and Sexual Ones, in trying to live according to “the right way”, Self- Preservation Ones may suffer from painting themselves into a corner, of living overly limited lives lacking experimentation and spontaneity. As they grow older, if they haven’t been doing their inner work, they may have added layers of heartbreak over how the living of their life has failed to match the sense of importance of the values they hold dear due to an overly restricted sense of how those values are best honored.

In attempting to avoid feelings of being flawed, the imbalanced Self-Preservation One will feel a need to justify the correctness of their lifestyle, leading to some rather bizarre rationalizations for the way they live and how others ought to be, especially when physical and emotional needs arise that don’t fit cleanly within their ideals. Hypochondria, fears of contaminated food, and excessive cleanliness can be warning signs that the Self-Preservation One is under stress and trying to maintain ever-strong ego-boundaries by stamping out impurities. As they psychologically disintegrate, they may attempt to exert even greater control over their environment, which may mean angrily rejecting and defending against people who threaten their sense of order and control.

When Self-Preservation Ones relax into the chaos of living in an animal body, they gain clarity about how they can help make life a little easier for themselves and others, and they can learn to channel their drive into making the world a kinder place, not just a more orderly one.

[Tim]

Sexual Ones

Sexual Ones seek to experience Essential Integrity in their sexual relationships and attraction displays. The idealism of Type One manifests here most acutely as attempting to be the best kind of romantic partner, to have the best partner, and to have an untouchable kind of chemistry. They’re not so much interested in appearances, though they certainly give it attention; instead, they aim to exemplify traits that make them exceptional and therefore desirable. In turn, they look for a partner who shares these qualities, the kind of partner with whom they can have the “right” kind of relationship.

In contrast to the stereotype of the straight-laced One, Sexual Ones often have hobbies, interests, and careers that may seem out of bounds for a type that is typically perfectionistic. These interests can often seem, on the surface, unrelated to attraction, but their “hook” is that they’re usually fascinating, adventurous, or creative, and performed to a high enough standard of excellence that it stands out. By seeming to be rooted in an ideal other than attraction, their attraction-displays also serve the additional purpose of giving the Sexual One’s ego “plausible deniability” that these activities are sought for a higher purpose than just procuring sexual attraction.

Sexual Ones are usually very sexually free and expressive, yet they may judge the sexual dynamic for not being reflective enough of certain values or not being up to par as lovers. Autonomy plays a central role in the Type One personality, so the judgment that they direct at themselves, at lovers, and the relationship as a whole unconsciously functions to reinforce separateness. If the partner is too X, Y, or Z to infuse themselves with, or the Sexual One judges themselves to be unworthy or not good enough for their partner, this may present emotional difficulties. But overall, judgment serves to keep the One feeling sovereign and clear of the corrupting, messy elements in reality.

Sexual Ones often have an ideal kind of partner in mind, but their bodies may betray an attraction to people that don’t accord with their ideals. They may seek out partners who hit every box on their checklist but are poor lovers, or vice-versa. This can pit a Sexual One against themself in a clash between standards and reality, and there may be an unconscious dynamic of being turned on by their own frustration toward their partner. Sexual Ones are often attracted to partners who offer some kind of escape from the tight reins of their inner judgment or tempt some kind of transgression, and they may mistakenly read edginess into a partner. Having a rebellious partner gives their superego an excuse to indulge in seductions that may not seem appropriate to their standards, yet they may then judge their partner for being the transgressor.

Sexual Ones can have an infatuation for the ideal. They may unconsciously create conditions where they either keep a relationship with a potential partner from being consummated or they become obsessed with unobtainable lovers, believing that this person is “perfect” for them. Sexual Ones may become attracted to the impossibility of being with the other person. When they actually have a relationship, they may shift most of their energy toward their attraction display and away from their partner, leaving the partner feeling ignored. Not trusting in attraction, the Sexual One will continuously invest energy into what they believe makes them enticing, sometimes at the expense of their actual relationship. All of this functions to preserve a false sense of autonomy for the Sexual One when they don’t trust in attraction or their body.

Underneath it all, Sexual Ones typically hold an unobtainable romantic ideal of total sexual union with another, but it is a standard so high that no human being can meet them there. This, ultimately, is a means of unconsciously preserving the One’s autonomy and keeping their frustration going. For the Sexual One, to really embrace another person on these deeply intimate levels risks contaminating a core sense of the sacred, which, itself, betrays a distrust of the integrity of their inner sense of the sacred.

Unbalanced Sexual Ones can become deeply neurotic around fidelity and extremely jealous of their partner’s sexual history and past relationships. To protect themselves from fears of rejection and undesirability, Sexual Ones may strive to be such a perfect catch that they will either be unrejectable or have reasons to reject their partner before they themselves are rejected. They may alternate between voracious sexual obsession and sexual repression. In partnerships, Sexual Ones can become ruthlessly critical and controlling of their partners, as if getting a thrill from turning partners into improvement projects.

Sexual Ones can learn to relax when they recognize that they can’t control attraction. This can allow them to both not judge themselves for who or what they find attractive and also let themselves off the hook for not behaving to their own ideals.

[Tim]

Social Ones

Social Ones are looking to experience Essential Integrity in relationships, causes, and vocation. Social Ones tend to have a great deal of awareness about what’s going on in the world at large. They want to understand their place in it and how they can meaningfully contribute to its betterment. The Social Drives’ desire to contribute to others is especially strong when paired with the Type One’s sense of responsibility and obligation. People of this type tend to be reformers, social crusaders, and standard bearers. They have a sense of mission and purpose and wish to set an example of how to live from integrity.

Social Ones are often talented and creative, with a tendency toward intellectual interests. People of this type experience an enormous sense of responsibility and care for others, with a desire to reform their social sphere according to their standards. They can be the most effusive and warm flavor of One. Their sensitivity to context makes Social Ones naturally adept at seeing both the potential in others as well as where others fail to live up to it. This often has them gravitate toward mentoring, teaching, guidance, coaching, or leadership positions where they can foster the growth of individuals. Many of the most influential social reformers and revolutionaries have been Social Ones who’ve been able to harness the power of the Social Instinctual energies toward building a better world and inspiring powerful change.

In the Social One, autonomy conflicts come into play as a desire to become attached to a particular social set while finding that group to be not quite up to their ideals. Thus, the relationships and connections they seek to foster are in need of improvement. This keeps the Social One both engaged and oriented toward particular dynamics and people, yet on the outside. By being critical of them, they remain autonomous and separate. Underneath their judgments is often a deep compassion and empathy, but in their striving to uphold their principles, they may inadvertently harden their hearts.

Although their impulse to reform is well-meaning, as their ideals become more rigid and unrealistic, their judgments become more intense. Unconsciously, the imbalanced Social One is perpetually striving for moral superiority, which comes into conflict with the desire for connection and the Social Instinct’s awareness of others’ states. Social Ones can play out chronic frustration and judgment of loved ones and groups as a way to remain both separate from them and attached through a negative affect. This can narrow their focus to people or topics that are outside their control which unconsciously act as “blinders” to keep their self-expression and self-exploration, and thus their ego-boundaries, limited and their deeper self unexplored. To keep up the identity, no matter how others actually are, the entranced Social One will have to find fault and come from a position of judgment and condemnation.

The pathological Social One can become a zealot for their visions of how society should be, taking on an air of purifying the social climate. They can become wedded to principles that have little bearing on reality, and they will insist others abide by them. Many well-intentioned Social Ones can come to support views that are idealistically attractive, yet in practice may have toxic consequences. An identification with feeling right can prevent them from being willing to see how their ideals may not work out as imagined. Additionally, when imbalanced, they can become obsessed with retribution and punishment, seeking harsh consequences for offenders of a desired social order or against those seen as oppressors, criminals, or tyrants, leading them to cross ethical lines they would never have imagined they’d cross.

Social Ones can learn to recognize that their frustration and impulse to judge stem from their deep care. Being in touch with that sense of care can help the Social One to recognize their own distressed state with impartial acceptance so as to relax into the felt sense of belonging and connection.

[Tim]

​Self-Preservation Twos

Self-Preservation Twos are looking to experience the Essential Quality of love through attending to the well-being, comfort, and health of others. Self-Preservation Twos are warm, caring, and protective, but they have a practical side and a willingness to “roll up their sleeves” in order to get to work for the benefit of others. The energy of Type Two paired with the Self-Preservation Drive lends itself to putting others first and diligently striving for the benefit of everyone. They are classic providers and have a strong sense of obligation and responsibility that can appear Six-like.

Because of the Self-Preservation emphasis on the body and practical results, these Twos are warm but don’t often have the gregariousness of other Twos. Especially if they have a low Social Drive, the way they show their love and support may not often be as “personal” or as “face to face” as Twos dominant in Social or Sexual. Their style of support tends to be practical, like financial support, some sort of skill in healing, or caretaking. It’s especially common for male Self-Preservation Twos to take on the role of material provider for family, clients, or employees. Their dedication and drive can make for an incredible capacity for selflessness and giving care, especially in times of crisis or when people can feel there’s no one else to turn to. Yet this often means Self-Preservation Twos neglect their own self-care and run themselves ragged for other people with the unconscious expectation that others will be there in their own time of need.

Self-Preservation Twos feel compelled to put energy toward others’ benefit, but they also need plenty of downtime. When psychologically healthy, they rest, but may find difficulty in actually relaxing under the judgment of their own superego. Time and energy not focusing on the benefit of others can create anxiety. They may withdraw or self-indulge in food or idle time to compensate for the care they feel they’re not getting. This gives the appearance of selfcare without the actual care.

In some cases, Self-Preservation Twos have been so caught up in performing a function for others or in occupying a caretaking role that they may not know how to relate to others without having something to offer. Despite all their helping, they may not have formed a bond on the personal levels they thought or wanted because it had all been contingent around a dynamic of offering support. This situation compounds the feeling of being uncared for, which their superego takes as a sign they’re not doing enough. The Pride of Self- Preservation Two often means they take on a persona of having things together, of having a kind of expertise or skill that reflects on them as being the indispensable go-to person for certain needs. In extreme cases, this can lead to the Self-Preservation Two essentially performing roles and tasks they’re not qualified for simply for the sake of being needed by others. A major danger faced by this type is squandering their natural gifts and talents in their efforts to give others attention and support.

A pattern can emerge in which Self-Preservation Twos can be overly-willing to sacrifice their personal comfort and well-being in the service of others. They can use their own exhaustion as a kind of proof to themselves that they’re not acting out of self-interest. Self- Preservation Twos are especially prone to somatizing emotions and may unconsciously use physical illness as a way of eliciting care and attention that they feel they can’t ask for directly.

Self-care and caring for others come to be mutually exclusive in the mind of the Self-Preservation Two. Over time, a lack of adequate self-care paired with a Two’s difficulty in directly asking for what they need can create a pattern of resentment and entitlement. They jump into situations to provide support to others in the hopes of being cared for in return, but those who benefit from the support can become habituated to it without understanding the Two’s expectations for reciprocation or the amount of energy the Two is spending. Twos can then feel that their boundaries have been impinged on, occasionally culminating in eruptions of devastating anger.

Acknowledging and accepting their own needs with the same quality of mercy they so generously direct to other people can help Self-Preservation Twos cultivate their own well-being and personal gifts. To be truly loving, Twos need to learn to regard their own vulnerable organism with love and acceptance. This presence with themselves begins to expand their own sense of what love is and means, allowing them to be more abundantly available to themselves and others.

[Tim]

​Sexual Twos

Sexual Twos long to find the Essential Quality of Love through their romantic relationships and attractions. Sexual Twos often have a coquettish persona, and they typically know how to turn up the intrigue and sexual tension while still retaining a “good” image. They tend to have vivacious personalities and a provocative sense of humor, with a sharp intuition about what others will find desirable. Many have talents that lend themselves to performing arts like music or theater, where they can display themselves in a big way. They tend to offer guidance to others in romance, sexuality, and beauty, so it is common to find Sexual Twos working as relationship coaches, sex therapists, performers, or helping people improve their desirability.

Sexual Twos understand that it’s attractive when someone is attracted to you, so they are typically very forward and flirty toward the object of their desire. They often lavish them with attention, as if to suggest that they’re so alluring that the Two just can’t help their powerful infatuation. There’s often a sense Sexual Twos convey to potential partners that being together is simply inevitable. More than any other type, Sexual Twos tend to instigate and feed off explicitly sexual energy yet are charming enough to diffuse tension before it becomes too uncomfortable.

Sexual Twos often struggle with craving nearly constant attention from the object of their desire and have learned how to be attention grabbing in order to keep it. This betrays an often deep-seated insecurity around their own genuine attractiveness and about their ability to maintain that attraction over a period of time. They might be physically beautiful but have severe insecurities that their personality is repellent, or they might simply worry that they themselves can’t keep attraction and passion intense enough, whether or not this is a real concern of their partner.

When attracted to someone, Sexual Twos may try to force a relationship in a variety of ways. They often initiate a great deal of physical contact and may study the habits of their desired partner, “coincidentally” showing up at favorite hangout spots, finding excuses to call or show up to their home, etc. They may even arrange “accidents,” like locking themselves out of their apartment in a snowstorm, which forces them and their object of infatuation together.

Even relatively balanced Sexual Twos have a difficult time not being in a relationship, so infatuation based on very little is a frequent occurrence. They may even talk themselves into being attracted to certain people in order to force the chemistry. They are prone to lacking in trust that they’ll be attractive by simply being themselves, and so to overcompensate, they can go to great lengths to become literally all things for their partner—lover, friend, coach, parent, and business partner. The Sexual Drive combined with the Pride of Two often manifests as over-doing efforts to attract, allure, and occupy their partner’s attention while often not being real with themselves about the true state of their own attraction. They may have so much emotional reactivity around losing their partner’s interest that they may be unaware if they themselves have lost attraction to their partner instead.

Sexual Twos who are imbalanced may throw themselves at any potential partner who reciprocates, or, conversely, at those whose attraction is most difficult to earn. This can lend itself to the Sexual Two choosing partners who aren’t up to their intellectual and emotional level, who take them for granted, or who reinforce a negative psychological status quo. Preoccupation with people who are simply not interested in them is also a common pattern for Sexual Twos, in that their ego may take the challenge of earning a disinterested person’s attraction as proof of their desirability. Serial monogamy and sex addiction are common for struggling Sexual Twos.

When insecurity around desirability sets in, the Sexual Two can become invasive, both in terms of trying to receive sex and attention as reassurance, as well as acting out intense possessiveness, jealousy, and control. The self-rejection of the unhealthy Two personality can lead to undergoing various kinds of cosmetic modification to be more physically appealing. This can become exaggerated and caricaturish in deeply unhealthy levels, as the Two will further reject their natural appearance and try to eliminate any vestiges of their true look. Alternatively, if their insecurity is about facets of their personality, they may try to adapt the preferences and tastes of their partner.

When unbalanced, Sexual Twos can engage in exaggerated displays of love, attraction, devotion, and simply assume that they are the best possible partner for their object of desire. Obsession with someone as a “soulmate” may consume them, but they may lack discrimination, believing that nearly anyone could “the one”. When they’ve set their sights on someone, they can excuse their own intrusive behavior by rationalizing that their object of desire will come around eventually. They may begin to feel entitled to their partner’s attention and act out intense possessiveness, extending into control over the entirety of the partner’s social and family life. They can feel consumed by jealousy at the slightest indication that their partner is asserting an independent will.

Sexual Twos can learn to relax into love by recognizing that their intense craving for others is mixed with neediness stemming from ways that they’ve self-abandoned. Investing some of that outward energy back into their own presence, their fears around undesirability and being overlooked can be quelled. This self-investment and self-attraction can become a source of authentic self-love and self-acceptance.

[Tim]

Social Twos

Social Twos seek to experience Essential Love in their relationships, vocation, and their sense of belonging. Social Twos are typically deeply involved with people and have a great deal of energy for relationships. People of this type combination are typically skillful in creating and fostering close connections with charm, humor, and eccentricity. Because of this, they have wide social networks, typically serving as a central axis within their milieu. Social Twos tend to have influential and persuasive personalities, and yet are adaptable enough to be able to attune to a variety of different kinds of people to meet them on their level.

Many Social Twos are teachers, mentors, and guides who are willing to give time and energy to people that others have deemed broken, unlovable, or unreachable. Most Social Twos don’t want to be the leader or figurehead of organizations or groups because it often prevents them from having one-on-one time with others, and such a position may act as a boundary that gets in the way of intimate relating. While they may not want to be the leader, they often gravitate toward positions of influence that allow them to be ongoingly involved with others and ensure their sense of belonging and social value.

Social Twos have deep fears of exclusion, both in interpersonal relationships and in their social context. Therefore, they may acquire specialized relational skills in order to have something to offer to those who make the effort to connect with them. They are also likely to insert themselves into other people’s relationships and affairs as necessary connective tissue and into conflicts as mediators.

Pride can make it hard for Social Twos to see the extent of their social positioning and interpersonal meddling. Because of the Social Two’s emphasis on positive intentions and loving feelings, they may fail to see themselves as socially ambitious. Seeing how self-centered their actions and behaviors are may be threatening to both the Social Drive and the Two’s self-image. Yet this very lack of acknowledgment is often why people sometimes pull away, keep distance, or end relationships with them. Others can often feel that there is a certain level of honesty and vulnerability that is simply not possible with entranced Social Twos.

Further complicating the matter is that, in not wanting to expose the elements of themselves that the superego deems selfish or unlovable, a Social Two will be unreceptive to genuine help and support. The hierarchy-making element of the Social Drive can express itself here as creating an unconscious dynamic of positioning oneself “above” others, as one who bestows support while others must always be on the receiving end. Others may feel that the Social Two will not allow them to be on equal footing, making the real connection and intimacy Social Twos crave impossible. To this end, they may collect “lost cause” types, developing a self-image of the “hero” and gaining the dependency of those who simply can’t do without them. Neurotic Social Twos have an extremely difficult time being alone or not being involved in other people’s aims and affairs. Pathological Twos foster severe dependencies, surround themselves with unhinged people, and even stifle other people’s development and growth or sabotage other people’s relationships in order to maintain preeminence.

Social Twos can find the connection they crave by first connecting with and accepting the full range of their needs, motivations, and behaviors. The healthier a Two is, the less need there is to appear a certain way, for others or themselves. The Social Two that is present is first of all connecting with and accepting of themselves. They’ll never succeed in finding the love and care they desire until they have found it for themselves.

[Tim]

Self-Preservation Threes

Self-Preservation Threes strive to experience Essential Value in their accomplishments, lifestyle, and careers. They tend to emphasize efficiency, tangible results, and mastery of specific skills more than Sexual and Social Threes. Self-Preservation Threes are typically very driven and can be quite competitive, although contrary to some stereotypes not every Self-Preservation Three is wealthy and materially accomplished, as their values may lie elsewhere. A Self- Preservation Three may opt for a humble lifestyle, yet, they may be the most experienced healer in their community or a Yoga teacher with the most training and credentials to show for it. What is commonly shared between people of this type is the attitude of efficiency and pragmatism in service of providing a secure material foundation for themselves and loved ones with an emphasis on practical achievements and tangible results.

Many Self-Preservation Threes gravitate toward professions focused on optimizing health or achieving excellence through the body, like in personal training, athletics, or in healing arts. Some are serial entrepreneurs starting multiple business projects, while others strive for material accomplishments. Whatever their path, there’s a marked enjoyment in making concrete changes and achieving practical results. Self-Preservation Threes tend to be less flashy than their Sexual and Social counterparts and don’t emphasize personal charm nearly as much as disciplined work and the fruits of that work, though they still want to look good in achieving their goals.

As values and capacities change over the course of a lifetime, however, Self-Preservation Threes can struggle with finding a path forward in life that results from their authentic values rather than something they’re good at. They may find themselves running off an “inner program” that they adopted at an extremely young age and therefore find themselves struggling to feel relevant when outer circumstances and cultural views of value change. Likewise, they may avoid experimenting or trying out things that they think they won’t be naturally good at, limiting their options and overall approach to life early on. Their efficiency and achievement can lend itself to a kind of momentum toward goals that can sweep them up without their heart really being in it. They may find themselves following a path that is not aligned with their deeper values and have a hard time finding a path in life that isn’t based on their forward-moving energy.

Self-Preservation Threes are prone to workaholism, running themselves into exhaustion and achieving without awareness or concern of the larger context or impact on others. Their intense focus can create interpersonal challenges when loved ones fail to appreciate their work and drive, leading to emotional isolation. Even though Self-Preservation is their Dominant Instinct, people of this type can over-do exercise, physical performance, and work at severe cost to their overall health. These activities can become another means of achievement, divorced from their original aim of enhancing the body’s well-being.

Under intense distress, Self-Preservation Threes will court any potential source of accomplishment, becoming indiscriminate and cutting whatever corners necessary to pursue their goals. Inwardly, they may adopt the signs of the lifestyle ascribed by their family and culture: having the “right” home, family, status, etc. In their intense competitiveness, they can become the archetypal “snake-oil salesperson,” willing to push that which is empty or harmful if it puts them ahead and overlooking negative consequences. It’s not that they’re literally selling something, but they may be trying to project an image or accomplish something based on a quick result. Because Self-Preservation is the most reserved of the Instinctual Drives, imbalance Self-Preservation Threes can more successfully compartmentalize toxic habits or other aspects of their lives from their loved ones. They may indulge in addictions, for example, that aren’t known to their intimates, all while putting on an outward show of the steps they’re making toward bettering their health.

When pathological, Self-Preservation Threes feel that their basic survival and personal value is threatened, they may put on a lavish display of their wealth or accomplishments, and they can resort to ruthless competition, seriously undermining or sabotaging others, or Self-Preservation Threes grow when they can actually recognize and internalize their sense of well-being, when they can consciously value themselves where they’re at, in the present, rather than looking exclusively toward outcomes.

[Tim]

Sexual Threes

Sexual Threes seek to experience Essential Value through their desirability and the magnetism of their attraction displays. Sexual Threes want to be the most magnetic person in the room. They feed off of generating intrigue, mystique, and even controversy, and they aren’t much concerned with being liked or pursuing practical achievements. Competition in Sexual Threes revolves around being the most attractive and having the most captivating sexual display, and they’re most likely to have cultivated a striking personal flavor meant to stand apart from others. People of this type are not interested in generic beauty, so some Sexual Threes, especially performers, play with attractive yet experimental personas or go for an overtly sexy image.

Sexual Threes may combine seemingly disparate elements into their sexual display, like being a devoted artist with a fit, muscular body. Competition and ambition can also play out as making it big in fields where they can signal their sexual value, such as modeling or performing. They usually pair up an exaggerated display of physical capacity with mental or creative capacity. Their creative output is generally more unique, though not necessarily more personal, than other types of Threes, and while Sexual Threes who are creatively inclined may have prodigious output, they may emphasize the impact of their work and the energy behind it over the content itself.

“Failure” is extremely painful for Threes as a whole, but for Sexual Threes, failure is defined as a failure to attract, incite interest, or to keep the focus of their romantic partner. Sexual Threes will “pull out all the stops” to win a specific partner and will often adapt their personal style, preferences, and image into what they believe is most desirable. As a result, they often struggle to allow their partner to discover who they are beneath the display. When unbalanced and fearful, this can lead to Sexual Threes rejecting partners when an intimate bond forms, disappearing behind their sexual “performance,” or conversely, becoming possessive and controlling, suspecting sexual rivalry at every turn. Entranced Sexual Threes can isolate their partner from friends and other people or turn run-of-the mill social engagements into “battles” of fending off rivals and projecting their energy all over the place.

Unhealthy Sexual Threes can view themselves and their partners as “prizes” in that having partners who are attractive and desirable becomes a statement on their own desirability. Therefore, imbalanced Sexual Threes may enter into relationships that support their narcissistic self-image or relationships that are toxic, wherein the partner’s lack of appreciation of the Three beyond their sexual display reinforces a further division between their perona and their authentic self. Cosmetic surgery, eating disorders, and other intense measures used to preserve their physical beauty are common.

Sexual Threes find balance when they’re able to be present to who they are beyond their sexual display. Generally, Sexual Threes are already attractive people, and it’s their need to amplify it that turns people off. When a Sexual Three can simply accept and value themselves, they become enriched and others are more drawn to them.

[Tim]

​Social Threes

Social Threes look to experience Essential Value in their relationships and vocation, particularly with the people with whom they experience belonging. Many Social Threes are highly accomplished and talented, but much of their drive stems from wanting to inspire others through their example. They are sensitive to people’s potential and are moved when others fulfill their aspirations. It’s important for Social Threes to feel they are seen as exemplars of whatever may be valuable within their social context, and they especially want to be seen as special to loved ones on a personal level. Social Threes don’t wish to conform to their social milieu so much as they wish to be a force within it, the one who sets new standards and raises the bar higher for the culture they’re in.

Threes with a dominant Social Instinct tend to be extremely charming and charismatic, and they devote real energy to cultivating personal qualities they believe make them more interesting and gain them greater acceptance. They are typically attuned to what people think of them and put a lot of energy toward maintaining a good reputation and presenting themselves in a favorable light. Awake Social Threes combine their goal orientation with personal warmth, charm, and connection to help people bring out their best. Often, Social Threes find themselves in positions where they can guide others into their potential, lending to an orientation toward service, especially as this type matures.

People of this type are typically skillful at accomplishing their aims and goals, using their charisma and personal connections to move ahead and adapt to expectations and conditions. They can be so skillful at progressing toward their aims that they may catch themselves pursuing a path that they didn’t have that much interest in. This can be a very difficult position for Social Threes, because they may feel valued, accepted, and skillful at their project or profession without feeling much inner resonance with it. For them to step away and begin something that feels more personal and fulfilling in absence of ongoing positive feedback can be a great challenge but a personally rewarding journey.

Often, Social Threes get caught playing many different roles for many different people and are unable to inwardly locate themselves apart from the roles they’re called to play. When a different persona is called for, Social Threes often become the exemplar of it. Depending on the context, they may become the perfect parent, the wise friend, or the charming boss, weaving many different faces into a “complete package”—and yet, they may not feel a heartfelt investment in many, if any, of the roles roles they’ve set themselves up to play, leading to profound inner and outer split.

Especially in the modern digital world, many Social Threes fall into the trap of blurring their private life with their professional persona, living as if they have to always be “on” in promoting themselves like a personal brand. Private experiences may be undertaken with a public audience in mind, which can drive intimacy from relationships. The need to be seen as desirable and special can lead to Social Threes wanting to position themselves in socially exclusive circles, presenting an aloofness which may run up against their desire for personal connection. Seeking to be elite and special among the “beautiful people” can undermine interpersonal relationships, leaving Social Threes feeling alone and insecure despite whatever prestige they’ve acquired.

The ambitiousness of the Three personality can turn the desire for belonging into a motivation to constantly expand their influence, and they may begin to view others as personal challenges of whom they can win over and how quickly. Social climbing and vying for status, recognition, and exclusivity can replace any real connection with themselves and they can begin to act in ways that are incongruent with their heart’s authentic wishes in order to get ahead socially. Unhealthy Social Threes can become wholly identified with their persona, such that their motivations and aims become determined by the values being reflected to them by their social environment. The way they relate to others can become almost entirely performative and transactional.

When a Social Three learns to be self-accepting and curious about who they are apart from the images they adopt, they learn to value themselves as unique characters with endearing quirks. When they can be present with their own heart, they can learn that others love them in ways that have escaped the bounds of their self-concept and begin to trust in their own value, talents, and relationships.

[Tim]

Self-Preservation Fours

Self-Preservation Fours strive to experience Essential Depth through their lifestyle, creativity, and self-expression. Self-Preservation Fours are usually very creative, with a highly developed craft like painting, music making, or design that they can spend hours absorbed in. They usually require periodic bouts of solitude to be immersed in their creative projects, but they struggle with finding a lifestyle that is congruent with their needs and inner experience.

The Self-Preservation Instinct results in a highly sensual and tactile Type Four. They’re especially sensitive to matters of aesthetics and ambiance, and their preferences of environment and home often have more to do with emotional resonance than comfort. Textures, colors, smells, and lighting are all very specific and important and can take on an emotionally saturated mystique.

Self-Preservation Fours are looking for their home, work, and overall lifestyle to be as close an expression of and congruent with their subjective experiences as possible. Their lifestyle and environment should be a container for their self-discovery, aesthetically evocative of what draws them inward while being sheltered from outside intrusion. Typically, their home, office, or place of practice will be highly personalized. Some people of this type love to collect unique objects, often antiques or works of art, while others have a minimalistic austerity that nonetheless serves as a mode of aesthetic expression. They gravitate toward objects and materials that evoke a correspondence with their self-image and the environment itself.

Within this type, Envy lends itself both to a struggle with feeling functional and capable and, more centrally, to a frustration that the overall picture of one’s lifestyle doesn’t accord with an idealized selfimage. Some Self-Preservation Fours can therefore have a pattern of building something up, such as a business, a practice, or a home, and then abruptly shifting gears or abandoning it all to start over. They have a stridently individualistic vision for how they want to live their lives and express themselves, but they often face practical obstacles that limit them, like difficulty in making money and sustaining their energy. The small bit of additional pragmatism that Self-Preservation Four has over Sexual and Social Fours is often countered by a kind of insularity that can make it difficult for their aspirations to take flight.

Autonomy and self-determination are very big issues for this type, especially when it comes to how they earn a living, so they typically gravitate toward fields that don’t require being closely managed or contain facetime with a lot of other people. They can become so myopically devoted to forging a personalized path that they fail to develop practical and interpersonal skills or make certain compromises which may help them achieve their aim.

Self-Preservation Fours are dramatic but are even less transparent about their moods and inner states than Social and Sexual Fours. Much of the drama of the Self-Preservation Four is contained within a sullen, morose atmosphere, and a great deal of their fluctuating emotional life is inflicted on the body itself, through physical neglect, substances, or sensuality. Conversely, they may be extremely physically robust in other domains. They may feel nauseous when in a room with aesthetically offensive color choices, but may also spend weeks mountain climbing.

When imbalanced, Self-Preservation Fours can “paint themselves into a corner,” limiting their possibilities and opportunities for growth by rejecting all that doesn’t accord with their self-image and abhorring anything that limits their creativity. While some Self- Preservation Fours are skillful with money, people of this type can have an indulgent streak, especially when it comes to spending beyond their means to acquire objects of beauty or to pursue situations, travels, or opportunities that speak to them. This can be a strength—a devotion to feed their inner life—or a way they shoot themselves in the foot. They are often tenuously balancing between financial security and collapse. These ups and downs can provide an intensity that makes them feel alive and authentic. Emotional states and self-comforting are modified through indulgence in excessive eating, drinking, sex, and carelessness. Unhealthy Self-Preservation Fours are prone to masochistically acting out against themselves physically, by going without food, sleeping in bizarre places, and even self-injury.

Self-Preservation Fours relax their personality structures when they recognize that they themselves bring the personal depth they seek rather than looking for their experiences to mirror their own depths.

[Tim]

Sexual Fours

Sexual Fours long to experience Essential Depth in their relationships, creativity, and intense experiences. The artistic temperament of Type Four combined with the attraction displays of the Sexual Instinct lends themselves to a strong creative drive coupled with a voracious desire for the object of their attraction. Whether introspectively or externally, this type seeks to be in a state of fascinated engagement with something that presents an avenue of self-discovery. Sexual Fours are prone to demonstrating their creativity and depth as a means to entice and sexually attract, and they can fetishize emotional, intellectual, or spiritual depth, imbuing it with an erotic mystique and deep contempt for the mundane.

Both Type Four and the Sexual Drive emphasize characteristics that distinguish oneself from others; so combined, Sexual Fours cultivate identities that are hyper-specific and elaborate. Their creative expression, interests, appearance, and even their thinking style are typically highly specialized. This hyper-specificity aims to be very attractive to a few and to repel those deemed too “banal” to appreciate their unique flavor. Like a switch, however, Sexual Fours can shift from being wholly absorbed and engaged in a creative project to having their full attention on their partner, and then back to their personal project, which can create a confusing push-pull experience for others.

A central element in the attraction strategies of Sexual Four is in striving to be uniquely fascinating, living by the ideal that no one else could provide the depth, intensity, understanding, and charge that they could. Sexual Fours strive to be someone their object of desire will never be able to find anywhere else. For people of this type, mediocrity is worse than death. The pursuit of being interesting and unconventional can extend to their lifestyle. They are drawn to unconventional paths and are willing to make major upheavals in pursuit of their desired partner. They want to be uninhibited in pursuing attractions, so they’re typically resistant to structure, confining jobs, and adherence to routines. There is often a struggle to sustain themselves practically.

Envy lends itself to chronic doubts about attractiveness and the ability to keep those they wish to attract interested in them. Hypersensitivity to their partner’s perceived level of attraction generates great distress if there are any lulls or mellow periods, so Sexual Fours tend to be sexually competitive—they feel they can’t be magnetic enough, and therefore are always trying to shore up their display of talents while never feeling adequate. They may feel the need to be the greatest love of the partner they’re with or, at least, the most impactful and unique one, the most attractive, and the best lover. Envy also creates an excessive focus on perceived personal defects, which a Four will inevitably find, that disqualifies them from having and keeping the person they want. Yet it’s often their own turmoil around this issue, and not the perceived defects themselves, that drives others away. This can lend to Sexual Fours testing their partners and desired objects in various ways: possessiveness, suspicion, or causing fights to feel “entangled.”

They’re prone to acting out stormy swings between idealization and disillusionment, extremes of love and hatred. Sexual Fours can play out a pattern of frustration with their loved ones, wanting their loved ones to be everything for them and rejecting them when their partner is unable to meet unrealistically high expectations.

This can lend to Sexual Fours testing their partners and desired objects in various ways: possessiveness, suspicion, or causing fights to feel “entangled.” They’re prone to acting out stormy swings between idealization and disillusionment, extremes of love and hatred. Sexual Fours can play out a pattern of frustration with their loved ones, wanting their loved ones to be everything for them and rejecting them when their partner is unable to meet unrealistically high expectations.

When deeply unbalanced, Sexual Fours can be completely dysfunctional in the practical sense: unable to hold jobs or sustain themselves while looking to be bailed out by a partner. They can become easily infatuated and throw themselves at partners, then quickly reject them. They become so wedded to forging their own unique path that they never develop basic practical skills. Disintegrating Sexual Fours are prone to self-harm, emotional abusiveness, and physical violence toward themselves and their partners, acting out intense hatred and possessiveness toward their partner and adopting a reckless, “burn it all down” approach to ending relationships or their own lives. Grounding themselves in the sensations of the body helps Sexual Fours find a supportive balance to their drive for depth in a way that brings them into closer relationship with themselves and reality. They can find the depth they seek when they’re not pushing away from practical, ordinary life.

[Tim]

Social Fours

Social Fours are looking to experience Essential Depth in their relationships, creative offerings, and social roles. Social Fours combine an appreciation for depth and authenticity with an interest in other people, lending to deeply personal self-revelation in their artwork, interests, and general self-expression. Much of their talent and attention is focused on communicating a deeper view of life. Social Fours often find ways to use their creativity as a means to engage and maintain connections with other people, like a performer in an obscure music scene, for example. They’re typically funny and quick-witted, but can quickly switch to a sullen brooding at a moment’s notice.

Social Fours are more likely to be consistently engaged with other people than Self-Preservation and Sexual Fours and are often among the defining characters of certain unconventional subcultures or scenes, like artist collectives and academic circles, or even esoteric spiritual groups. These Fours can adapt themselves to social situations with greater ease than other Fours, yet they still need to maintain a sense of being different from others in some remarkable way.

The Four’s desire to be a unique individual comes into tension with the Social Drive’s need to be available for connection, so in Social Four, there’s a special effort to embody and share a deeper view of life in a way that is comprehensible and useful to others without compromising their personal vision. What this lends itself to is a fear of being too strange, sensitive, or challenging for people, which becomes a source of both pride and shame because they aren’t willing to compromise their authenticity. While they are often more charismatic and have a greater social ease than other Fours, yet may still feel a concealed, but close to the surface, inner brokenness or feeling of being alien. Therefore, there’s a longing and search for people who will accept them in all their unconventionality, moods, and eccentricities and who aren’t afraid to mine the depths with them.

Whereas the Social Drive generally wants to find “common ground” with others, Social Fours crave connection while feeling uneasy about that which is “common,” so they seek to cultivate extraordinary connections with a select few. People of this type are usually not “people persons.” They often gravitate toward eclectic people and subcultures in search of those who reflect and can share in their inner world. They are likely to fantasize that a social group, friend, or lover who will see who they “really” are is elsewhere, often ignoring the love and acceptance that’s already present for them in the relationships at hand.

Authenticity is paramount for Social Fours, yet they often struggle to know what remaining “true” to themselves means. Social Fours are perhaps most sensitive to whether the image loved ones hold of them matches their self-image, and they long to be with those who share their values and worldview, to find a family that may be more real and personal than their biological family. Incongruencies between self-perception and how others view them can induce a great deal of shame and angry frustration.

Social Fours are prone to experiencing themselves as deeply exceptional and simultaneously lacking or flawed. They feel that their differences and unique perspective is a strength, one they long to be recognized for, and at the same time, Envy often brings their inadequacies into extreme focus, making them self-conscious and feeling unable to connect, comparing themselves to how they could be if only they had some other characteristic or quality. Social Fours have an uneasy dynamic with the need to feel special and wanting recognition for it. On one hand, they feel ashamed of this very desire, and on the other hand, they indulge it. They can adopt an exotic, mysterious, or sophisticated persona. They can identify with being an outsider and appreciate the mystique that affords while also longing to be among a more elite, studied, or chosen circle.

When feeling slighted or unacknowledged, Social Fours are prone to adopt an arrogant, elite attitude. Distressed Social Fours can make dramatic public displays of their anger, with accusations of betrayal and cutting criticisms. They can easily feel humiliated, leading to exaggerated motivations for revenge and seriously undermining others for perceived slights, and they can become so focused on their own pain as a justification for their behavior that they fail to see the extent of their impact. People of this type are especially prone to stubbornly clinging to the need for others to see or acknowledge how they’ve been violated with an additional desire to punish wrongdoings. Self-pity or feeling victimized is common, and it undermines the connections that Social Fours hold most dear. Acts of retaliation stemming from a view of having been wronged and an inability to function are typically present in unhealthy Social Fours.

By having greater acceptance and appreciation for themselves as they are, Social Fours can learn their own value and unique identity without needing to be self-conscious about it. When they’re able to relax into being themselves without reservation, they attract the connection, love, and belonging they desire.

[Tim]

Self-Preservation Fives

Self-Preservation Fives are seeking the Essential Quality of Insight through their lifestyle and interests. Fives with a dominant Self- Preservation Instinct live in such a way that their time, attention, and energy is free to pursue their passions and curiosities. They have a deep capacity for concentration and are typically insightful, quirky, and intensely specialized in certain areas of expertise. Self- Preservation Fives are looking to leverage their skills—intellectual, creative, or otherwise—into earning a sustainable living that allows them to pursue their passions and interests without being controlled or too at the behest of other people’s demands and agendas. Many Self-Preservation Fives do this quite literally by living in their studio or making their living space into an office, laboratory, or library, for example.

Contrary to that image, Self-Preservation Fives aren’t all bookworms or intellectuals, and many can be quite friendly and for short periods of time, outgoing. Yet, they are easily misunderstood for their self-containment and particularity of focus, especially as children. They may have intense sensitivities to certain kinds of sensory input that lead to them to be easily overwhelmed which makes it difficult for them to connect with others. Sometimes they can be socially strange, but their sincerity, even in the face of their potential arrogance, is often a saving grace.

Alone, unstructured time is a major priority for this type, as they are easily drained by the demands of others. They seek to have uninterrupted focus. They often have careers or jobs that require minimal ongoing interaction with others or have otherwise arranged their life so as to have plenty of time to themselves. Self- Preservation Fives, even those who are minimalists, often have extensive collections, usually of unique or high-quality items such as vintage watches, artifacts, or wines. In extreme cases, they can hoard interesting objects at the expense of spending money on food or interacting with others, and the presence of these objects can take the place of contact with other people entirely.

Self-Preservation Fives can treat both their profession and what most people think of as their “personal life"—their hobbies, time with loved ones, and relaxation time—as distractions from their focus of interest, as in the trope of the academic who shows up for dinner to “put in the time” with their family so they can get back to their research topic. Self-Preservation Fives’ interest is their life’s central focus, while they can compartmentalize other demands of living or treat them as secondary. Self-Preservation Fives can mentally group uninteresting jobs, relationships, and life basics like having to eat as necessary obligations that siphon their energy away from their concentrated focus. This can become a big problem for Self- Preservation Fives, because people are prone to misunderstand this attitude as self-absorption or ineptitude. They can be robbed of many of what makes life worth living, like relationships and the ability to enjoy the simple things, without having seen the value of those things as they deteriorate.

This type constantly struggles to have the energy and attention for tackling life’s necessities. On one hand, Self-Preservation Fives enjoy taking care of themselves and might love good food, comfortable environments, even regular exercise and physical activities. On the other hand, they can be half-hearted in dealing with, even neglectful of, other practical and relational obligations. They can become overwhelmed by the demand of having to attend to their own needs, and as such, retreat into living “around” those needs instead of addressing them, such as taking inadequate care of hygiene or letting their home fall into disrepair. They may also leave the cultivation of interpersonal relationships up to imagination. This can also create unprocessed anxiety, further making self-regulation challenging.

Fear of depletion can turn into a literal fear that outside forces are taking something from them, often leading to obsessive fixations on paranoid ideas. Distressed Self-Preservation Fives may attempt to find patterns or meaning to make sense of anxiety, leading to interpretations of reality that are personally compelling but often highly delusional. They can be increasingly fearful of being contaminated by germs, impending diseases and epidemics, interpersonal intrusions, or toxic substances. They can become split from reality and deprive their bodies of care in proportion to the degree that they’re losing their minds. Their mental wheels can spin on believing that they are seeing some kind of conspiracy that others are unaware of or incapable of seeing, especially as it pertains to physical threats, toxic contamination, and paranoia around invasions of privacy. Despite the withdrawn and often disconnected character of the Five, they can be quite aggressive, demanding, and controlling when they feel threatened while simultaneously unwilling to fully take responsibility for their aggression.

Self-Preservation Fives relax when they practice anchoring into the body and take note of the moments in which they are more capable than they imagine.

[Tim]

Sexual Fives

Sexual Fives look to experience Essential Insight in their romantic relationships, chemistry, and interests. When Sexual Fives encounter someone they share chemistry with, they have enormous energy for hashing out ideas and probing uncharted conceptual vistas together, as if the energy of the fascination element of attraction will itself give birth to something totally new. While all Fives enjoy diving deeply into subjects that interest them, the Sexual Five uses their interests and knowledge to elicit attraction by advertising what a rich, interesting, and even transgressive inner life they have. For Sexual Fives, interpersonal chemistry is the creative fire from which something completely novel and previously unimagined can come into view.

The Sexual Five has a great deal of focused, mental intensity and tends to be the most aesthetically-oriented Five. They are typically creative, whether in generating art, music, or ideas. The specificity and focus of energy blends with Type Five’s capacity for concentration to create a highly focused and idiosyncratic personality. Ideas, concepts, and other forms of mental engagement, often expressed with artistic flair, are imbued with some form of erotic charge. Sexual Fives are typically on a search for creative conceptual expressions or experiences that expand or challenge their usual sense of self.

As much as Sexual Fives may crave attraction, chemistry, and sexual relationships, Avarice means that they also have fear that they’re unable to provide enough emotional connection, physical adequacy, and practical support for their partner or desired beloved. Sexual Fives often believe it requires more “juice” than they have to keep the intensity of the chemistry going, so they can withdraw or try to create limits on their partners’ expectations of them. Sexual Fives anticipate the demands of a relationship before such demands are made, and thus, they’re often wrong about what the requirements will be but exhaust themselves by the mere anticipation of them. However, it’s often the case that their partner simply wants other kinds of contact, not more of the Sexual Type’s “turned on” energy.

Sexual Fives assume they are not equipped for most kinds of relationships and experiences, and yet are over-specialized for others. It is as if they are looking for someone with whom they can have space and distance from as needed, and someone with whom they can also “turn on” the chemistry and connection when they want to co-explore or co-create conceptual and creative visions and worlds. In finding someone they resonate with, they are quick to reinforce boundaries with their partner, almost for fear of giving themselves over completely, which may mean simply stating that they will not be able to provide financially, to co-parent, or live together.

In craving intense chemistry, they are also prone to put certain conditions or blinders on the relationship so they can continue to have the chemistry they seek without the burden or distraction of the facets of a relationship that are normal for most people. This is consistent with Five’s contradictory feelings with regard to instinctual resources, both wanting them and trying to minimize or manage the conditions within which these needs are met. They are prone to abruptly withdrawing with almost no contact for long periods of time before attempting to re-establish the relationship. On one hand, this can mean being intensely guarded as well as extremely specific as to when they can and will engage full-on, and on the other hand, this can lead to their partner feeling resentment over being so much of the dynamic having to be on the Sexual Five’s terms.

Avarice lends all Fives to mentally abstract themselves from their experience, and in the case of this type, Sexual Fives can approach the erotic conceptually. Their intellectual pursuits serve Sexual instinctual goals, both to attract and to push interpersonal boundaries. Therefore their fascinations are often organized around the symbolic and veiled, and typically, the pursuit of their interests is tied in with a sense of self-revision. They want their interest to change their own and others’ sense of self, a slightly different intention than Social or Self-Preservation Five, whose focus may be on opening people’s worldviews or expanding their capacities. Sex itself is a major need for Sexual Five, but it can come with highly specific conditions, rituals, or unconventional expressions of sexuality. These can be both to psychologically prepare them to get out of their heads as well as symbolize a kind of merging of their conceptual world and the practical world. Type Five’s powerful curiosity lends itself to a stance of detached observation, but combined with the Sexual Drive, sexual voyeurism is common for this type.

Deeply imbalanced Sexual Fives may pursue various forms of unhealthy masochism and sadism, harming the body with an erotic charge in place of viscerally embodying their physicality. Like Self- Preservation Fives, Sexual Fives can be consumed with bizarre ideas not founded in reality, and they may develop erotically-charged obsessions with certain people and concepts.

Sexual Fives grow when they stay present in the body, meet relationships and demands head on with clarity, embodiment, and compassion, and trust that attraction has its own intelligence.

[Tim]

​Social Fives

Social Fives are looking to experience the Essential quality of Insight in and through their relationships, their interests, and their contributions. People of this type tend to be as intensely curious and focused as other Fives while also the most outgoing style of Five; they have a kind of Promethean calling, whereby the want to offer wisdom, insight, creativity, and understanding to loved ones and the world at large—to peer “behind the veil” in order to bring illumination. At the same time, they can be fearful of being overwhelmed by the interpersonal burdens that come from participation with others. These Fives seek to be experts in a given field or subject or a master of specific artistic capacities. They find meaning in guiding people, broadening their horizons and opening to new possibilities, and they see the world in fresh, unexpected ways. For them, creativity and understanding aren’t really “alive” unless they are being shared and exchanged. Many Social Fives end up becoming teachers or experts as a consequence of their desire to share and mentor.

Social Fives are drawn to fields, groups, and institutions that hold the promise of engaging with fascinating people who are at the top of their game intellectually, creatively, or otherwise. Contrary to the stereotype that Fives only value knowledge, Social Fives enjoy being stimulated and impacted by all kinds of people, especially those who have a well-developed capacity or an appreciation for interesting things. They respect mastery above all. The “right people” are portals to new discoveries, as well as sources of acceptance and camaraderie in a world that doesn’t often appreciate Five energy.

The Social Five is looking to find a place among others where they have the freedom to dive into their interests with the best and brightest in their field, and where the things they can uncover are offered up as a contribution to others. Through their capacity for insight and new understandings, the Social Five hopes to claim their place or niche and solidify their interpersonal and social value. They’re excited by the feeling of being a part of a tradition or specialized class, but these special groups can also be a way Social Fives seek to sequester themselves away from the messy or practical elements of life they feel unprepared to face. However, they may look for connection on the basis of holding a shared conceptual point of view, neglecting the emotional and somatic dimensions of relatedness. Therefore, Social Fives may get caught up in trying to transmit their vision or insight to friends and loved ones, to get others to understand in the way they do, such that others are overwhelmed, alienated, or driven away.

Social Fives tend to keep up with social, political, and scientific trends more than other Fives, and they typically have a visionary quality wherein they can anticipate where things are going in their respective areas of interest. Often, Social Fives’ interests can be obscure, but generally, they have some relevance or significance for other people that can imbue their intellectual and creative pursuits with a sense of mission, like needing to unlock hidden wisdom for the world.

Avarice can be expressed as a tension of wanting both to deeply belong as well as to separate themselves, usually through social distinction, such as being the expert or even presenting themselves as uniquely gifted or insightful. They want to be and often present themselves as the singular or superior authority on a subject. This sense of superiority is a double-edged sword, as they believe being the key expert will assure them of the social value and belonging they desire while also creating separation and a lack of interpersonal connection. This tension can lead to a great deal of alienation: belonging is not sensed directly, but rather abstracted and conceptualized, leading to loneliness and a sense of isolation as the Social Five doubts their value and the niche they’ve carved out. They can relate more to the idea of a relationship than the reality of one.

Social Five can express Avarice as wanting to contribute their gifts and creativity meaningfully, but not feeling equipped to handle the responsibilities that may come from being in leadership. This can lend itself to various forms of self-sabotage, such as not attending to important necessities, picking needless intellectual fights, or devising self-important displays to support a self-image of being invaluable and special. The flipside is presenting themselves in “goofy” or scattered ways in order to dispel the sense of being able to hold their responsibilities and to cast away any interpersonal tension that may arise in response to intellectual arrogance or elevated positioning.

As Social Fives become more unbalanced, they feel their contributions are underappreciated and their genius underrecognized. They may become both angry and frightened of the masses who can’t appreciate them, making public displays of their superiority that almost always backfire. The very sense of relatedness becomes abstracted in increasing degrees, so unhealthy Social Fives might imagine or rationalize friendships and interpersonal associations which can lend itself to fantasizing that they are intellectual or creative peers with historically and socially significant figures. They may imagine that their real peers are elsewhere, in some yet-to-be discovered hidden cell, among an elite that has simply not yet recognized them. Deeply imbalanced Social Fives may entertain delusions of their social specialness and significance and may imagine others conspiring against them. Based on this fear, they can act out by undermining others, even to the extremes of sabotage or violence.

Social Fives develop when they allow themselves to humbly relate to others outside areas of familiarity and competency, to land in and sense relatedness from the Body Center, and to turn their powerful curiosity sincerely toward other people.

[Tim]

Self-Preservation Sixes

Self-Preservation Sixes long to experience Essential Truth in their lifestyle, path of personal growth, and resources. The devotedness and reliability of the Six meets the perseverance of the SelfPreservation Drive, lending itself to a deep awareness of how the things they value grow and are sustained. Much like their neighbor, Type Five, Sixes are extremely observant, but in contrast to Five’s narrow focus, Sixes’ have a broader quality awareness that is attentive to how parts relate to the whole, as in how a tree can only grow relative to the integrity of its roots. Awake Self-Preservation Sixes bring together this awareness with an inherent inner resourcefulness that lends to confident self-possession and meeting challenges with acceptance and fortitude.

This type is often adept at discerning patterns and keeping things “on track” toward their intended results. This applies to how personal development unfolds, how plans become realities, how projects or businesses can flourish, and in what increments outcomes can be achieved in a practical manner. For this reason, many SelfPreservation Sixes have cultivated some expertise in this regard and gravitate toward offering some service that facilitates growth and development in individuals, organizations, or systems. They tend to have a strong work ethic, and this is especially true when they can direct their energy toward a project or cause they believe in, that inspires devotion

Self-Preservation Sixes feel deeply responsible for the well-being of the people and things they care about. They are typically extremely hard-working but often eschew credit. They are the most practical Sixes and tend to be exceptionally mindful, giving care and attention to the details that others overlook. While some Self-Preservation Sixes have a great deal of anxiety around their safety and well-being, it is typically balanced with having an intrepid or adventurous side. Many Self-Preservation Sixes are athletic, well-honed in some physical capacity, or have a strong connection with nature.

Relative to Social and Sexual Sixes, Self-Preservation Sixes need a good deal of time alone and tend to use that time pursuing offbeat or creative hobbies that the Six personality might otherwise judge as unproductive. They usually have a sensual side and may use food, alcohol, or marijuana to take the edge off their anxiety.

Self-Preservation Sixes are acutely aware of chaos and the absurdities of life. To manage anxiety, they create or turn to systems that help keep all bases covered. Without ongoing attention to life’s necessities, they fear things may collapse into entropy. Often, they rely on complex means of organizing their attention, like keeping to well-structured schedules. This can lend itself to a need for routine, predictability, and an over-emphasis on procedures and a lack of ambiguity. For some, this can mean having extremely clean and ordered living conditions, while for others it means having an eye on the quantities of food or money or electricity that have been used. The need for predictability can sometimes express itself as either obsessive compulsiveness or outright control of others’ behavior.

When they feel unsupported, Sixes will look for something reliable on which to model their path through life on, but in doing so, they may fail to tap into all their creativity or potential. This may lead them to keep their world small and anxiety-ridden. They can become attached to a job, a situation, or a life path that isn’t personally rewarding but provides some direction and clarity, and they will end up sticking with something even after it’s no longer to their benefit. Compounding this, they often feel their hard work and care is not really valued by others. As they become more imbalanced, they begin to feel that keeping things together is left solely up to them. They can live life from their minds, trying to regulate and create structure to the flow of life, which can lead to an attachment to ideas over directly entering into the unpredictability of life.

Under stress, possessiveness around money, time, and other resources is common, as is an over-reactivity toward any potential threats. It’s common, for example, for Self-Preservation Sixes to fret over the details of their health, income, personal shortcomings, or emphasizing placing excessive importance on trivial details as a way to forestall moving forward on projects or events that cause anxiety while convincing themselves they actually are making some sort of progress. An inner agitation can develop, and they may develop substance addictions in an attempt to quell anxieties. They may adopt a grim, dark view of the world being on the brink of chaos. Predictability can gain priority over living a dynamic life, and they can spend a great deal of their energy living in anticipation of imagined disasters that may never arrive. Self-Preservation Sixes can be quite intense and reactive, indulging in paranoia and conspiracy theories. Fear of physical invasion, contamination, violence, theft, and ill will are common. Extremely imbalanced Self-Preservation Sixes become panic-stricken and bereft, and they can take out their pent-up anxieties and negative charge with violence against themselves or others.

Self-Preservation Sixes grow when they take notice of all the ways they’ve been supported throughout their lives and when they can recognize the strength and resourcefulness of their own being in the present moment.

[Tim]

​Sexual Sixes

Sexual Sixes seek to experience Essential Truth through chemistry and in their romantic relationships. The contradictory nature of Six is expressed in this type as a bold and provocative attitude paired with vulnerability and uncertainty about their desirability. They tend to be unpredictable and edgy, and yet very charming and endearing. Freedom of expression is often paired with the Sexual Six’s need to check in on whether their actions undermine or enhance their appeal. Sexual Sixes like keeping others on edge, and they’re typically exciting to be around for that reason.

A need for certainty in the fluctuating arena of attraction and chemistry speaks to the basic conflict within this type. Sexual Sixes are looking for chemistry they can rely on to be sustainable and energizing. They tend to project swagger with a tough or dramatic “hard to handle” attitude, yet they often display a great deal of unexpected vulnerability, sensitivity, and sentimentality, needing a great deal of assurance that their partnership is secure and that they’re still enticing and beautiful. They may also have a kind of outspoken, independent streak, which is often quickly tempered by a need to be comforted and supported by their partner. Generally speaking, Sexual Sixes have a great deal of concern for both their physical attractiveness and the appeal of their personality. Their insecurity can lead to compensating through showing themselves off and big gestures of affection.

Despite bouts of confidence, insecurity arises on whether or not their partner will remain faithful and interested in them when potential rivals are around. They may start fights with perceived sexual rivals who, in reality, may have zero interest in their partner. It may be difficult for Sexual Sixes to fully relax around their partner, which can mean being “on” too much, needing to impress or seduce in order to capture attention.

It’s not that all Sexual Sixes are interested in long-term monogamy, but when they do find a partner they wish to be exclusive with, they can become possessive and competitive in trying to keep them because of a basic lack of trust in the elements of attraction that they may not see or have control over. Some Sexual Sixes can play up drama, accusations, or impulsive decisions as a test to see if their partner will leave them—for instance, creating conditions that try the patience of their partners or intentionally exaggerating features of their personality in an attempt to psyche their partner out. Sexual Sixes may also use one relationship after another to prove to themselves they can still attract whoever they please, or they may become attached to a partner who represents a “sure thing”.

As Sexual Sixes become imbalanced, they may lash out at their loved ones and entertain paranoid fantasies about abandonment or betrayal. They may even gravitate toward partners who they have a sense will betray them, so when it does happen, it reinforces an identity structure of not being able to trust or believe in anyone. Their minds can talk them in and out of attractions, so from the point of view of a partner, the Sexual Six can one day seem completely infatuated, and the next, completely over them. As they become increasingly insecure, they may be prone to cosmetic surgery or pour themselves into exercise or creative projects that they believe will make them more appealing, or even to “prove” certain traits to themselves and their partner; meanwhile, the anxiety and instability fueling them will be a turnoff to others, undermining their aims. Conversely, Sexual Six may go in the total opposite direction and embrace a chaotic, edgy, borderline unappealing aesthetic, as if to provoke others to be repelused.

Typically, Sexual Sixes approach relationships of various kinds of expectations and assumptions around relational agreements and boundaries that may be left unspoken. When their partner or romantic interest doesn’t behave accordingly, however, the Sexual Six can not only feel justified in their feeling of betrayal, but also feel entitled to exaggerated reactions. This can lead to overstepping boundaries, trying to ruin their partner or interest’s reputation, and elaborate campaigns to turn a partner’s friends and loved ones against them. Deeply unhealthy Sexual Sixes can be aggressive and controlling toward their partner, using them as an emotional punching bag to discharge their anxiety and frustrations. They can try to limit who their partner sees and speaks with and feel the need to be in on everything they do. Unhealthy Sexual Sixes who are single might not respect boundaries in pursuing potential partners and sexual interests. Their intensity can border on stalking.

Sexual Sixes relax when they can recognize and abide in the fact that attraction is out of their hands, it’s mysterious, and that how people reciprocate attraction differs by person, so they can begin to trust in their partners and their own discernment.

[Tim]

Social Sixes

Social Sixes want to experience Essential Truth in their relationships, contributions, and causes. They seek meaningful connections with others and are as interested in individuals as they are with the underlying reasons, values, and commonalities that keep bonds enduring and sustainable. This type has a deep longing to feel a solid sense of belonging with others. As friendly as Social Sixes can be on the surface, on the inside they may harbor a deep cynicism about other people’s reliability, integrity, and dependability, while at the same time seeking those people who’ll have their backs in a crisis, like familial bonds that are deeper than blood relations.

Many Social Sixes are charming, funny, and kind, but they also have a sharp, critical side with which they use to probe others’ authenticity and character. They may bring these qualities to their social group or society which may be expressed as a sense of mission to educate, warn, improve, or serve others. Social Sixes tend to be particularly good at strategically bringing coherence to many disparate parts of a whole without suppressing the individual nature and gifts of the contributing parts, making for a remarkable ability to reconcile the personal and the collective.

Social Sixes are hyper aware of the atmosphere of the social milieu, so they often express themselves in relation to the values or currents they perceive within it. They may dress or create art, for example, in a way that is either in conformity with the social values of their culture or in complete contrast to them. In a similar vein, they can become champions for social causes or reformers fighting against corruption. Their self-expression is formed through this kind of “conversation” or commentary on norms, expectations, and the value of cultural signs and symbols. This does not take away from the fact that many Social Sixes are also very individualistic and independent thinkers.

The interest in culture lends an intellectual or scholarly bent in many Social Sixes. While many Social Sixes like to keep the peace, others are excellent debaters and enjoy hashing out different points of view with energy, friendly provocation, and humor. As much as they may be perturbed by serious disruptions or tears in the social fabric, they also appreciate the different perspectives people bring to the table and enjoy uncovering what’s in common.

This type has strong expectations of friendships and relational dynamics that aren’t always explicitly communicated, so they can feel betrayed or let down by people who can’t meet these expectations. Experiencing discordant or disharmonious values between themselves and others they care about can leave them feeling that the relationship has no “ground.” They feel the most possibility and creativity comes from people being on the same page. This means Social Sixes tend to be loyal to the values, beliefs, and common aims that bring people together and tend to proactively support those aims to the point of being self-sacrificing.

People of this type tend to get caught up in beliefs and ideologies that serve as umbrellas for people coming together, but they can let their devotion to these ideological tent-poles run away to the point of actually undermining the very interpersonal connections they wish to foster—for instance, in the case where adherence to a political cause ends up alienating the people it’s supposed to benefit. Social Sixes can begin to believe their belonging is contingent on maintaining specific relational structures, of which they see themselves as a guardian, so this can escalate to larger social structures, like a political ideology, familial loyalty, or religion, taking precedence over the interpersonal connections it was there to support in the first place. In other words, the idea overtakes reality.

As they become more imbalanced, they can struggle in distinguishing their own independent agenda and identity, resulting in a vacillation between adherence to an authority or compulsive rebellion; alternatively, they may hold a black or white view of other people’s moral character. They may often replace one authority for another as if choosing a new inner authority figure represented a self-directed choice.

As Social Sixes become more imbalanced, they can pick fights in trying to test interpersonal loyalty and get at loved ones’ “true feelings” for them. They become hungrier and hungrier for assurance, and when they are deeply psychologically unhealthy, they are unable to feel certainty at all. When highly imbalanced, if an idea or means of self-expression can’t be “mapped” to their internal picture, it can be seen as threatening to social or ideological cohesion and treated with suspicion.

As they deteriorate, their intelligence and mental acuity can be used to support an ideology based on emotion. Their bright minds can become co-opted by the impulse to justify their ideological frameworks at the expense of open inquiry, complete with supplying effective arguments, “evidence,” and seemingly coherent justifications. Deeply unhealthy Social Sixes can be bent on punishing real or imagined wrong-doing and can act obsessively to purge “bad” beliefs or people from their social group, retaining strong prejudices against whomever they have deemed counter to the belonging and safety they have imagined.

Social Sixes ground themselves when they relate more to the impressions and sensations of relatedness with the heart and body. They can get out of the mental framework of a relationship and into the felt sense of relationship, which helps them more fully trust in their lived experience.

[Tim]

Self-Preservation Sevens

Self-Preservation Sevens seek Essential Freedom in their lifestyle through experiences and sensual pleasure. They are the most practical and experience-oriented Sevens. They tend to be enthusiastic and results-driven, and don’t hesitate to pursue their desires. Typically, Self-Preservation Sevens lead colorful lives and pick up many talents, skills, or specialized knowledge along the way. Mature Self-Preservation Sevens have a natural talent for synthesizing skills and creating businesses, art, and adventures, and they might combine these elements into something unexpected, yet useful and interesting.

Self-Preservation Sevens find ways to arrange their lifestyle so they can pursue the kinds of experiences, subjects, and interests they love while also ensuring some degree of well-being and material security. Where and how they live is viewed as the nexus to what opportunities and experiences will be available to them. Some Self-Preservation Sevens have multiple projects and money-making endeavors, and they love to travel and have intense experiences. Others are more on the intuitive, introspective side, and though they may not have much of a strong practical foundation, they may use their lifestyle to study interesting subjects and learn skills. They may become teachers or authors, for example, allowing them to earn a living while keeping their curiosity engaged.

People of this type have a great deal of resilience in the face of setbacks and upheavals, and they tend to bounce back from major challenges. They also have a gift for extending this attitude to friends and loved ones, “sharing the wealth”, by means of material support or opening up opportunities for others.

Self-Preservation Sevens express gluttony for resources and experiences that they believe provide physical well-being, an interesting life, and sensual pleasure. Consumption is a major Self- Preservation Seven theme—big expensive meals in fancy restaurants, big shopping excursions, collections, trying out every new flavor of beer, interests in upscale and luxury items are all possible examples. Or, they may they may live humbly, but display display a voraciousness in reading, passion for art or film, or prodigious creative output.

Self-Preservation Sevens struggle to know what conditions to agree to, what skills to develop, and what roots to put down in order to foster the kind of life they want to lead. For people of this type, the cost of the sacrifices and trade-offs one must make in forging a pathway through life is front and center. Some Self-Preservation Sevens can feel crushed by a demand to have a life trajectory established by a certain age or by the expectations family may have around what kind of lifestyle they choose. Others may go along with the lifepath presented to them, all the while having nagging doubts and even small rebellions against something they aren’t sure they want. Self-Preservation Sevens tend to be capable of improvising and acquiring skills with ease, which can be an obvious benefit, but it can also be a kind of crutch that Self-Preservation Sevens rely on as a way to keep their involvement with anything relatively superficial. In a similar vein, this type can display an excessive focus and workaholism that would, on the surface, seem atypical of Seven. However, what may seem like admirable concentration and deep engagement may ultimately psychologically function as “busywork”— a way to stay active and busy without emotionally touching too deeply into something and keeping negativity at bay.

In Self-Preservation Sevens, anxiety around the limitations and state of the body creates a kind of impatience with the body and with healing, which exacerbates whatever physical and psychological issues are at play. In wanting to be uninhibited to pursue experiences, imbalanced Self-Preservation Sevens often have difficulty giving their full scope of health issues adequate attention until they become major problems. As Self-Preservation Sevens become more anxious, they can be reckless with their health, safety, and finances. They adopt a predatory “me first” entitlement that can be overt in their attitude toward others or played behind the scenes by “borrowing” what they want or scheming for what they feel they are owed or what they think others won’t miss. A kind of cynical materialism can take over.

As anxiety fuels Self-Preservation Sevens into grander experiences and compulsive behaviors, consequences for impulsive behaviors begin to seem like non-issues in the present. They may rapidly spend money, or pursue dead-end money-making schemes and tricks. They may also overestimate their energy and become workaholics in an effort to keep up stimulation and to prevent feeling overwhelmed by anxiety. Many unhealthy Self-Preservation Sevens may indulge in substance abuse, excessive partying, and reckless physical risk-taking, trying to escape crushing inner feelings of deprivation and grief.

Self-Preservation Sevens find the freedom they seek when they can stay grounded in their present experience. When they give up their need to overlook or run from setbacks, they find an inner resilience that fosters trust in their heart, body, and mind’s capacity to experience freedom in the midst of life’s ups and downs.

[Tim]

Sexual Sevens

Sexual Sevens want to experience Essential Freedom in chemistry, their fascinations, and their romantic partnerships. The high energy of Type Seven paired with the attraction-seeking, boundary-pushing Sexual Drive produces colorful characters who have a willingness to drop whatever they’re doing in pursuit of something that has captivated them.

Sexual Sevens are highly creative, with many talents and often an imaginative, visionary streak, but they tend to have difficulty sustaining their efforts. This type is looking to share a special kind of attraction and chemistry with someone exotic who stimulates their sense of what’s possible. The object of desire represents a doorway to a new world and an entry into experiences they couldn’t have anticipated.

There’s a sense that every partner, every romance, and every turn in the evolution of a long-term partnership is a new discovery. When they have a partner, they tend to be very committed and put a great deal of effort into keeping things fresh and exciting, like arranging exotic travels or having unconventional experiences. When unattached, there’s a hunger to playfully flirt and explore the interpersonal energy between themselves and many different kinds of people. They can have a gluttony for arousal.

To an even greater degree than other Sevens, Sexual Sevens can easily galvanize the totality of their energy and resources toward a person or experience that attracts them with little inhibition. Much of their talent, charm, and success comes from this capacity, but they can jump completely into one project or person, and then the next and the next; the consequence is that their life can take on a zig-zag pattern. In seeking fascinating people and experiences, Sexual Sevens want to be fascinating as well. Yet their tendency to be stretched thin may lead to having many interests but not a lot of proficiency in any one skill nor any particular direction in life, fueling an insecurity they may compensate for by resorting to being outrageous or provocative instead of well-rounded.

Monogamy can be difficult for anyone, but some Sexual Sevens may naturally lean toward monogamy. Others can find it challenging, and may not take to it simply out of fear of missing out on possible flirtations and sexual encounters. They may fantasize about escaping their relationship for the next sexual experience. Other Sexual Sevens can adhere to monogamy when monogamy isn’t really compatible with them in an attempt to “tame themselves” and overcompensate for feeling out of control or compulsive.

As a type based in the Intellectual Center, all Sevens experience difficulty being in contact with a quality of inner knowing and discernment. When personality co-opts the Sexual Drive, it interferes with the natural intelligence and discrimination of attraction and chemistry, becoming overridden by intense mental excitation, a need for stimulation and seeing people through a veil of imagination. It can seem almost as if others become characters through the lens of a fairy tale or story. Therefore, a great deal of the basis for attraction of Sexual Sevens is the symbolic potential that the person and their relationship may open up. The filter of imagination creates difficulty for imbalanced Sexual Sevens to stay with the living sensations of chemistry, rendering a lack of discernment in who or what would actually be compatible versus merely exciting. Instead, the fixated Sexual Seven relies on how intensely they are stimulated by a person or situation.

The obstruction of imagination over one’s experience can also easily turn into a pattern of chasing “peaks.” Therefore, the Sexual Drive's craving to lose boundaries combines with Seven’s excitement to create a type that is hungry for intense experience and for having their expectations blown open, which propels a drive for escalation. Sexual Sevens may begin to relate to people and encounters like experiences to be “consumed”. Their own feelings of optimism and excitement may blind them both to how they may objectify other people and to the personal cost of becoming entangled in people without being deeply “touched”.

Imbalanced Sexual Sevens will hardly allow for a situation to unfold on its own, and instead will goad things along with provocation to up the ante or add something to the experience. When this happens, the natural transgressive and provocative impulses of the Sexual Drive become intensified by mental activity toward exaggerated exhibitionism and fascination with the perverse. They may approach “loss of self” by being shocking or outrageous, an unpredictable element that pushes themselves and others outside their comfort zones. This can both stave off the possibility of sincerity and intimacy and undermine their attractiveness. Even if they desire commitment, some Sexual Sevens may end up being the “one-night stand” or a fleeting sexual curiosity because of the extent to which they can turn themselves into a caricature.

As Sexual Sevens become more imbalanced, substance abuse, exhaustion, self-harm, senseless risk-taking, and anxiety attacks are common. When they objectify others, they may storm into the object of their desire’s life, stir things up, and then quickly move on, leaving their prospective mate’s life in disarray. They can rely on partners to care for them physically and materially, draining their resources while justifying their behavior by being entertaining and enlivening. In trying to escalate intensity, imbalanced Sexual Sevens are prone to goad partners and romantic interests into participating in degrading or destructive behaviors with them, or, on being disappointed that a romantic partner fails to live up to their fantasies, can be violent and abusive.

When Sexual Sevens ground themselves in their bodies, their radar for what’s genuinely enlivening becomes clearer. Their creativity becomes deeper and more renewing and they’re able to let their hearts be touched by their experience.

[Tim]

Social Sevens

Social Sevens are looking to experience Essential Freedom in their relationships and vocation. For this type, the possibility and variety of life is at its richest when shared. Relatedness, whether personal or communal, is the means for possibilities, inspiration, and creativity to be realized. People of this type are outgoing, interesting, and have a deep fascination for people, experiences, and understanding of how things fit together on large and small scales. Many Social Sevens are funny, quick-thinking, and natural entertainers, using humor and wit with compassion. Social Sevens have a strong sense of purpose and a profound desire to meaningfully leave a positive impact on other people. They love making genuine connections, going on adventures with companions, and are generally able to find something worth appreciating in most people. Social Sevens typically make drastic changes in the course of their lives, lending to many talents and a wide network of allies.

While Seven and the Social Instinct, taken together, may evoke a picture of the buoyant social butterfly, not all Social Sevens are so extroverted. They tend to have extended networks of friends but have a tight inner circle of enduring connections. Even so, there’s a persistent sense of being called to be part of a larger world or bigger conversation. Whether they’re an entertainer or a social worker, there’s often a pervasive call to genuinely contribute to the betterment of others. Because of this, they are prone to being giving and self-sacrificing, often giving up opportunities, freedom, and self-interest for the sake of others.

Social Sevens tend to be easily inspired by causes and ideals, and they enjoy making possibilities real for other people. Despite this, one of the major difficulties that Social Sevens struggle with is not knowing where to invest their energy and time, so Gluttony compensates for this lack of real knowing by trying to pursue nearly every option they find even a little bit interesting. It’s hard for them to settle on where to develop their gifts and contributions.

Unconsciously, there’s a belief that finding the right kind of relationships and the right kind of orientation, role, or calling will unlock the meaning they’re seeking, yet the fear of missing out on what that calling is, or where that key to unlocking potential lies, motivates Sevens to both try on different modalities and life-paths as well as to continuously pursue people and experiences to share them with. Adding to this difficulty, Social Sevens tend to be able to see something positive and interesting in nearly every path, option, and person. This can be a gift, but it can also lead to a lack of discrimination of who and where to give energy to, resulting in a frustrating feeling that it’s nearly impossible to make the “inroads” the Social Seven seeks or to figure out what to devote themselves to. Social Sevens can struggle with feeling irrelevant or that they’ve wasted opportunities, giving an edge to their usual positive demeanor.

Under stress, Type Sevens have an unconscious habit of setting themselves up for disappointment by overlooking negativity or making agreements without fully considering the consequences of doing so. Social Sevens may take exploratory steps in a direction that doesn’t pan out career-wise or may mentor someone who is not really interested in changing their ways. They may agree to take on responsibilities toward many people or organizations until they feel bogged down and resentful, searching for a quick way out. Their involvement in others can become increasingly superficial and quick, often leaving others hanging or waiting on input that doesn’t arrive or isn’t complete.

As Social Sevens become overtaken with anxiety, they can be ungrounded, unreliable, and out of control while retaining a charming facade, so others can easily be swept up into the Social Seven’s impulse to escalate situations. In trying to enhance the social atmosphere through outrageousness, imbalanced Social Sevens are prone to escalation, burnout, and putting themselves at risk through self-neglect and recklessness. The focus on other people flips to self-absorption and hedonism, using other people and betraying their trust.

When Social Sevens can take in impressions of relatedness and belonging through the body and heart, it shifts the search of how to contribute from a search for the right choice to listen to their heart’s deeper call and the satisfaction that arises from inhabiting the present moment.

[Tim]

​Self-Preservation Eights

Self-Preservation Eights are seeking the experience of Essential Power through their lifestyle and resources. Therefore, they tend to be excessive and forceful in the pursuit of what they believe supports physical well-being. This amounts to an excessive preoccupation with autonomy and with a sense of “living large” that appears different depending on wealth, culture, and personal preference.

All Self-Preservation Eights put a great deal of energy into ensuring that they’re the one calling the shots in their life. Whatever their chosen lifestyle, autonomy and self-determination are central values. They do not want to not have to answer to others, and they aim to be self-reliant above all.

Self-Preservation Eights are energized by the effort to maintain their autonomy. They typically don’t seek security and peace. Instead, they’re likely to regularly provoke power struggles and conflict related to carving out their own way of life. This may mean pushing up against others in business dealings, competition, athletics, or acquisitions, treating life as a battle or game.

Self-Preservation Eights spend a great deal of energy trying to make money or to find a “sure thing” in terms of a desired lifestyle, even if they were already born into privilege. There can be an attitude of “getting mine,” with a propensity to see others’ success and well-being as a threat or affront to their own. They can become controlling about their resources and fight off any perceived attempt to wield any influence over them, even to the point of seeing any form of compromise with others as a personal infringement.

Some Self-Preservation Eights are highly materialistic, and their characteristic excessiveness can show up in the “bigness” of their lifestyle. It can mean scraping and hustling for resources, being concerned with acquiring wealth and possessions, “living large,” abusing substances or sex, or having questionable dealings. They may seek to create a financial “empire,” and in the absence of sensing their well-being, they’ll attempt to realize their mental picture of what it means to have well-being, resources, and security. The “empire” they’ve amassed is like an external proof of well-being to hold up to themselves, a compensation for fear of scarcity with a kind of over-the-top abundance.

Conversely, other Self-Preservation Eights can be minimalists, creative types, or outdoor adventure types who prefer to live ruggedly, yet pursue their simplicity with a characteristic Eight-like intensity, building their own home or using their deep reservoir of energy to accomplish projects. Many Self-Preservation Eights can present as very physically tough, but they’ll often have a closeted persnickety side.

Self-Preservation Eights are the type most prone to shrugging off the validity of anything they can’t physically hold in their hands or literally touch or see, so in the case of an entranced Self- Preservation Eight, trying to talk them out of whatever corner they’ve painted themselves into is probably going to be a losing battle. They can be ruthless in pursuit of their aims and leave others to pick up the pieces of whatever they have destroyed to reach their goals.

For all the intensity typically displayed in Eights, they’re actually pushing up against an inner sense of deadening, a lack of being touched by their experience, so the more entranced a Self- Preservation Eight, the less they’re able to directly register impressions of well-being. This makes them push even harder for a lifestyle that accords with their inner picture of what staves off harm and scarcity, but because the results of their efforts often don’t feel like well-being, they keep feeling the need to push and expand. This cycle happens often at great cost to their physical and emotional health. Self-Preservation Eights begin to grow when they allow themselves to soften enough to take in impressions of moments of authentic well-being.

[Tim]

Sexual Eights

Sexual Eights are looking for the experience of Essential Power through intense sexual attraction and chemistry, and they are excessively forceful in capturing the interest of the object of their desire. This is expressed most clearly as a need to fully occupy the attention of their romantic interest, not only to be the central presence for the object of desire, but also ongoingly to arouse their potential partner. They put a great deal of effort toward amplifying their impact on the object of desire from the assumption that fully capturing their beloved’s attention is the way to ensure that attraction is on their terms.

Compared to Social and Self-Preservation Eights, Sexual Eights are more likely to have an exotic self-expression, with males and females alike inclined to play with a degree of charged androgyny in their self-presentation. Their self-expression tends to be uninhibited and endearingly revealing. Whatever their interest or talent, they like to be provocative. Sexual Eights are more prone to being artistic and creative than other Eights, and they tend to incorporate physicality into that which constitutes their attraction displays, such as dance, theater, or even martial arts.

While Self-Preservation Eights have very solid boundaries and Social Eights tend to hold a strong social “field,” Sexual Eights have a more permeable boundary because of the Sexual Drive’s responsiveness to chemistry and disposition of relenting to attraction. This can mean that their vulnerability appears closer to the surface, sometimes subverting typical expectations of what Eights “look like.” It gives the usual charisma of Eights a hint of self-consciousness and adds receptivity to the chemistry shared with a select few.

As much as Sexual Eights want to “hook” someone, a fear of rejection or of being controlled by their own desire can motivate this Instinctual Type to provocatively invite rejection or disinterest, or to preemptively end relationships in order to make sure rejection is under their control. When they really like someone, Sexual Eights may exaggerate their energy and try to magnify their provocation, as if to test whether a potential partner could handle their big energy. For example, they may approach a romantic situation they feel strongly about with a quality of focus, directness, and bluntness to intentionally intimidate the object of desire, to ward them off preemptively instead of having to deal with vulnerable feelings of desire, need, and intimacy. They can be fearful of their own propensity to be devoted to a partner, which threatens their autonomy, thus unconsciously sabotaging attachment

Sexual Eights avoid feeling rejection or a lack of reciprocated attraction on the basis of traits and qualities close to their hearts, so they often make a big display of being too much to handle, an “excuse” with which they can easily write off their failure to gain the interest they’re looking for. Yet not allowing for space is a sign of not trusting attraction, it often suffocates the object of attention, leading to further insecurity for the Sexual Eight. This can inspire a long series of “serial monogamy” or hookups, often as a counter to their propensity to be single-mindedly devoted to one person.

A Sexual Eight who has self-protectively held out against giving themselves over to a genuine attraction may, out of exasperation, suddenly compromise themselves sexually with someone who doesn’t really value them, a form of acting out that stems from an inability to let themselves be vulnerable. This is once again a defense against possibly exposing themselves to the rejection of someone they’re genuinely interested in. When in a relationship, Sexual Eights have a propensity to ongoingly provoke reactions from a partner in order to feel connected in place of authentic relating.

Control, domination, possessiveness, entitlement, and testing their romantic interest’s time and emotional and physical “tolerance” are common in entranced Sexual Eights. Allowing for spaciousness helps Sexual Eights relax the need to steer attraction, making room for more of their own vulnerability and authenticity, which invites more interest from partners.

[Tim]

Social Eights

Social Eights are looking for the experience of Essential Power through relationships and having a strong influence on other people. Social Eights tend to have immense energy for other people and tend to be the most personable, approachable Eights. They are classic protectors and find fulfillment in mentoring, advocating for others, and helping others find their own power. By temperament, they often find themselves in positions of power, influence, or leadership. The Social Eight is able to sustain a wide net of influence over a longer period of time than other types while having only a handful of deeply meaningful friendships and relationships. They tend to gravitate toward lively people, and their social intelligence along with the impactful energy of Type Eight makes them skillful at galvanizing groups, families, and societies toward common aims.

Social Eights want to leave an impact on others and are concerned with their legacy. When Social Eights are healthy and relaxed, they tend to be a magnanimously sensitive and compassionate kind of Eight. They tend to be generous, good listeners and confidants, and tend to be deeply reassuring to their loved ones. Social Eights want to make a big splash within their community, to impact friends and family alike. This desire can be harnessed positively or negatively, for being of service to others or for megalomaniacal fantasies, control, manipulation underpinned by a sense of entitlement to others’ respect and attention.

Social Eights stave off fears of abandonment and ostracization by being the instigating centerpiece or ringleader that provides their group, organization, family, or friends a sense of meaning or mission. They often set agendas for groups or people for the purpose of keeping people together, which results in them becoming de facto leaders. However, they will unconsciously assume others are rejecting them with the same ferocity they are rejecting their own vulnerability, and in place of being able to maintain relationships on the basis of personal connection, they will use provocation, stirring up drama, and forcing their way into others lives as a way to remain on others social radar.

Often, insecure Social Eights can try to sell others on the idea that affiliation with them will lead to special benefits or social payoffs. Without their ongoing influence, the rationale goes, the group or family fragments and people would lose connection to what they’re striving for. Fearing that their dependents may not be up to the task to fend without the Social Eight’s guidance and protection, Social Eights can justify deeply destructive and authoritarian actions for the sake of group cohesion and the benefit of their loved ones.

When deeply entranced in their pattern, Social Eights terrified of rejection seek to control others and require complete submission and loyalty. They can become tyrannical, keeping others on edge. They oscillate between punitive and severe, then rewarding and approving as a tactic of manipulation. Underlying this form of acting out, and unconscious to even Eights themselves, is the fear that they don’t belong, for which they radically overcompensate by using domination and coercion as the central force of their milieu.

The Social Eight who is able to abide in inner stillness, rather than pushing and forcing, is usually able to have the most significant, lasting, unexpected, and positive impact on others.

[Tim]

Self-Preservation Nines

Self-Preservation Nines are looking to experience Essential Harmony through their lifestyle and interests. Self-Preservation Nines are the most independent style of Nine. Many Self Preservation Nines have an athletic bent, enjoying the physicality and healthy channeling of aggression through the body. Others have extremely rich imaginations, and many professors, artists, and authors are Self-Preservation Nines who have sculpted incredibly vivid and complex imaginary worlds. For this reason, it’s not uncommon for many Self-Preservation Nines to mistakenly see themselves as Fives or Sevens.

As Body Types, autonomy is a top priority for Nines, but they maintain autonomy through a lack of inner coherence. Self Preservation Nines can be unassuming, friendly, and easy-going, but often surprise people with some major talent or creativity that seems unrelated to the rest of their life. They might be revealed to be amazing painters or writers in their middle age, while almost no one around them knew that this was such an area of focus for them. They are the sensualists of the Enneagram and can be extremely precious around their physical comfort. Most Self-Preservation Nines tend to have an indulgent streak where occasional over-eating, too much sleep, too much sex, or too much time on the internet can take great portions of their time.

Nines dominant in Self-Preservation will typically seek out lifestyles that provide some measure of reliable income and enough independence that they don’t have to be answerable to or at the whim of other people’s agendas. This means Self-Preservation Nines tend to dream of goals that may be three steps beyond their present situation, but they have a hard time actually manifesting or putting energy into the first and second steps. This can mean keeping them in a kind of outward-focused busyness or an immobile slump that distracts them from fully seeing their present circumstances.

So while Self-Preservation Nines can vary greatly in how they express themselves, there is a way in which they also “settle,” not quite going for what they really want to the extent they could and instead contenting themselves with lifestyles and desires that don’t make them have to reach too far outside a limited comfort zone. They may view “getting by on a little” as humble or even virtuous and may seek to keep their “world small.” This can mean either having very few contacts, sticking to a modest career or lifestyle, or simply keeping their interests and curiosity within a limited horizon. For example, they may dream about being wealthy and might read and study books on finance, but they may not actually take any concrete steps offered in the sources they explore. Or, if they do take these steps, they may do so in a way that is unconsciously self-sabotaging so they don’t have to be changed too much by their circumstance.

Self-Preservation Nines are stubbornly entrenched in their habits and routines, so they put a great deal of energy into making sure too much isn’t demanded from them. Despite a reputation for being selfeffacing and low-key, when certain boundaries are infringed on or demands placed on them, they can react with intense aggression.

Young Self-Preservation Nines are prone to having a difficult time in knowing what path or direction they want to take through adulthood, and they will delay choosing something definite for a great deal of time. They can be late bloomers in all areas of life, taking a long time to complete their studies or acquire certain skills. Following a path laid out to them by others, or sticking with an unrewarding job while making sure to look busy, are strategies of putting on a performance to parents and loved ones, appearing to be proactively reaching for a goal without taking any real steps. The struggle here is not that Self-Preservation Nines don’t have interests or talents, but they often easily give up on themselves.

Ironically, Self-Preservation Nines have some of the greatest potential for endurance of all the Enneagram Types, so once they have an aim they can get their energy behind, they typically achieve that aim and are not easily dissuaded nor taken off track. The difficulty comes in really pulling their energy out of distractions and into something that will enliven and challenge them.

Self-Preservation Nines grow when they are able to get outside their comfort zone and access new inner and outer horizons. Being outside the bounds of the familiar can encourage Self-Preservation Nines to connect with and integrate more of themselves, which can help them find self-value.

[Tim]

​Sexual Nines

Sexual Nines are looking to experience Essential Harmony through chemistry and sexual relationships, and their attraction style tends to be more focused on inviting attraction rather than outright pursuit. Sexual Nines have a flirtatious style that balances an edginess with reassuring sweetness. They tend to be charming, sultry, and disarming. Sexual Nines often have a focused intensity not often associated with Type Nine, which can lend to having a bit of flair or dramatic quality that can be mistaken for Type Four. The imaginative quality of this type can lend itself to a great deal of creativity or idealism, but they can suffer from a lack of grounding.

Sexual Nines know how to temper the aggressive edges of the Sexual Drive with attunement more skillfully than other Sexual Types. Their attraction displays can be rooted in a wide variety of talents, but the common theme is getting under people’s defenses in a way that’s unassuming and non-threatening. The good-natured quality of Nine supports people in feeling relaxed and comfortable in letting their guard down.

Despite usually being attractive, however, Sexual Nines can struggle with feeling overlooked, unseen, or unwanted. Sexual Nines are typically confident in their physical appearance, but they suffer when they feel elements of their personality are unacceptable or uninteresting, or when they simply can’t “find themselves.” They can feel they disappear beneath their sexual display from a fear that they aren’t wanted unless they’re attractive.

People of this type will put pressure on themselves to be alluring while at the very same time become resentful toward their object of desire for feeling they had to compromise their own autonomy or self-respect in order to remain attractive. This can lead them to spacing out—hiding something of themselves from their partner so they can’t fully “give themselves away”—, mysteriously breaking off the relationship because they’ve felt they couldn’t really be themselves, or drifting from one relationship to another.

When they consummate a romantic partnership, autonomy issues can come into play, and these can be expressed in a few ways. As an expression of Sloth, Sexual Nines may settle for a partner who may not value them or support their growth. Unconsciously, the Nine might feel the relationship they’re in is “good enough,” leading to them remaining in stagnant, unhealthy situations for years. It may not fulfill the basic needs of a healthy, positive relationship, but it may fulfill the ego strategy of self-forgetting and fragmentation.

Another example of unresolved autonomy conflicts is via triangulation, whereby a Sexual Nine won’t fully commit or fully show up in a relationship because they feel attraction for a third person. They can view different people as bringing out different aspects of themselves, so they can keep things vague by not making a clear choice between potential partners. They can drift from relationship to relationship, as if trying to build a sense of self through merging with various partners or looking for an imagined figure who will really see them, whose contact will awaken them.

When a Sexual Nine is very unhealthy, they may have a manipulative side, using their desirability and sexuality to get by in life at the expense of really developing themselves. This can further create a dynamic where the Sexual Nine takes advantage of the care and generosity of partners while pursuing some other kind of personal or sexual agenda with others. Their sexuality can be dissociated, “leaking” inappropriately, and they can give themselves to partners who don’t value and respect them. They may allow themselves to be used as “arm candy” or as someone else’s sexual accessory rather than treated as a full human being with emotional needs and a complex inner life. Feeling demeaned, they may find ways to passive-aggressively exploit their abuser in turn, creating a deeply toxic, mutually-parasitic relationship.

When Sexual Nines learn to accept themselves for who they are beyond their ability to attract, they can find a deeper and more rewarding attraction to their own inner life.

[Tim]

Social Nines

Social Nines are seeking to experience Essential Harmony through their relationships and their contributions to others. Social Nines tend to be the most outgoing, friendly, and charismatic Nines. They often have an idealistic streak, and despite their easy-going demeanor, they’re often quite effective at getting things done, especially when it comes to doing things on behalf of other people. Social Nines tend to be actively involved with other people, and despite their modesty, they often make a big impact.

Despite their struggles to find their own voice, Social Nines often end up in positions of leadership, and many political leaders have been Social Nines. This is a result of having a natural sensitivity,
deep empathy, social charm, sharp minds, and an understated persistence in moving toward their vision of a better world. People of this type are extremely devoted to loved ones and causes they
believe in, which can sometimes lead them to see themselves as Twos or idealistic Sevens. They can easily fall into a kind of caretaker or “therapist” role with others. Deeply supportive and selfeffacing, Social Nines can feel taken for granted since they care for friends and loved ones and don’t ask much in return.

For Social Nines, autonomy conflicts can take shape as a tension between how much they give themselves over to relationships versus how much they keep for themselves. This can play out in Nines as compartmentalizing different aspects of themselves that get expressed in different relationships. They can be outwardly the most malleable Nine, while covertly keeping others at arm’s length.

Different relationships can call for a different “me,” so one relationship may call for an intimate and loving persona; in another, there’s a need to be funny and playful; in others, they must be
strong. These different shades of self-expression aren’t the same thing as being inauthentic, nor is it as if the Social Nine is a markedly different person in each relationship. But it means that the Social Nine stays dispersed and divided, both connected to and outside of relationships at the same time. They allow much of their personal self-expression to be determined more by the perceived needs of the relationship than from fully showing up as their whole self.

Sloth can manifest in Social Nine as preemptive self-rejection of their own gifts. They can hide their capacities, talents, and individuality in order to avoid too much self-exposure. This is a defensive strategy to prevent being too much at the mercy of other people’s needs and demands or, in case they experience rejection or critique, it’s a means to not feel too impacted. It’s as if to say, “you didn’t get all of me.” For this reason, Social Nines may unconsciously choose romantic partners who don’t really see them for who they are or who only mirror certain desired qualities back to them.

A conflict can emerge for people of this type in both wanting attention and recognition while also feeling that being too singled out is narcissistic or threatens the respect and connections they have with others. They can struggle with finding their own “voice” and making sure that voice is meaningfully heard and a part of the group or relationship to which they belong. There is a fear that to individuate means to threaten attachments and that their “note” in the harmony will be dissonant. This can create a great deal of tension and inner resistance, leading to resentment, and in some cases, passive aggressive behaviors and occasional eruptions of anger.

The checked-out Social Nine may then rationalize they’re looking for a better relationship or better social conditions to more fully express themselves, but this fantasy is often a way to simply delay showing up in the present. Likewise, the flipside is that they may settle with certain friends and relationships that don’t have their best interests at heart or who encourage them to remain in limited identities. When really imbalanced, this type is prone to wasting their time and talents in the hopes that their positive attributes will be acknowledged and accepted by loved ones in accord with their own expectations of how they should be seen.

When Social Nines can more deeply connect with all parts of themselves, their experience of their own inner wholeness is both more satisfying than any outer relationship could be, and they effortlessly draw others to them.

[Squirrel]

This was so helpful !

TYSM