ILE Fi vulnerable, Fe mobilizing, relations and emotions

[Neritim]

Hey, I was looking to discuss the experiences ILEs have with their ethical sphere, Fi vulnerable and Fe mobilizing. How do you assess relationships or a potential life partner? Do you have a tendency to friend zone people in order to not be stuck where you don't want to be? Are you able to see if a relationship with someone is good for you or not? Are you unemotional when alone? Do you seek emotional expression in others? Do you read their moods? Are you jolly around people? Do you say hurtful things unintentionally?

[EUDAEMONIUM]

ILE seeks a loose and fun atmosphere where there aren't strict expectations for them to act or treat others in any particular way. Yes, ILE will say things that are offensive and hurtful.

ILE are not able to accurately predict who is "good" or "bad" for them, this is something they often do not think about and prefer to treat everyone as a friend.

Their Fe is normative, if people are laughing and expressing goodwill, this is good; if people are angry and expressing hurt feelings, this is bad. Their ability to read the nuance of someone's mood or the mood of the room isn't great but it's not bad either.

[Neritim]

ILE seeks a loose and fun atmosphere where there aren't strict expectations for them to act or treat others in any particular way. Yes, ILE will say things that are offensive and hurtful.

I find saying hurtful things becomes even more pronounced when online or in text because you cannot assess the Fe emotional expression so you end up pushing a question or argument way past what the other person is comfortable with. Even if they might indicate this in words, it's like they just go past the ILE. Like they cannot understand why someone would be hurt by asking questions or making statements.

ILE are not able to accurately predict who is "good" or "bad" for them, this is something they often do not think about and prefer to treat everyone as a friend.

This can also manifest in going into relationships based on chemistry and seeming compatibility without being able to assess the true nature of a person beforehand. Or being in contact with very susceptible people in order to learn from them or seeing them otherwise useful.

Their Fe is normative, if people are laughing and expressing goodwill, this is good; if people are angry and expressing hurt feelings, this is bad. Their ability to read the nuance of someone's mood or the mood of the room isn't great but it's not bad either.

Yeah I do agree. I think ILEs can overestimate their ability to gauge other people's emotions too.

Another thing for me personally is that I find personal ethical questions, like the trolley question, or the good and bad dichotomy really just awkward and exhausting to think about.

[The Reality Denialist]

I can have too lighthearted relation to relations. For instance I may sound as if it is OK that people abandon me. I can take it to another extreme and do things for people and get nothing back - I also treat it as OK.

[ouronis]

I actually feel like my assessment of people's attitude towards things is pretty sophisticated and I'm vigilant for any signs of disapproval. Oftentimes I make a joke I know should not go over well while trying to signal I know it's a joke that is made in bad taste to maximize the chance it will go over well. Doesn't always work.

I am pretty unemotional. I self-type as LII but I have my G-card. I often don't understand why people get so worked up in a given situation until I've been in that situation myself.

[Lesri]

What I noticed by observing the two ENTps (dunno if unhealty) I know is that to follow a moral they rely heavily on that of others. The Fe Mob (Hidden Agenda) is the way they cover their Fi PolR: it's as if they have a hard time creating intrinsic "values" that aren't influenced from the outside, and they struggle to understand that personal drive that Fi valuer has. For example, they both tried so hard to assimilate the morals of their girlfriends or best friends that they end up becoming a catalyst for their fears or tantrums. As a result, they become their "advocates" in any context to the point of saying or doing nasty things in the most wrong contexts. They both always tend to talk about this unconditional goodness they believe in, often at the expense of their health and time. They also tend to use this morality to "reproach" others, even when the reproach is useless because it is not about winning a race to see who is more moral than who. The positive thing is that few people are, in my opinion, so willing to help you apart from the rest, only that they expect that by continuing to adapt to others they will receive acclaim, when in life you also need a lot of autonomy of judgment.