
Originally Posted by
Suonani
Wow, you are well surrounded!
Argh I hope your fever has gone down since yesterday, we had COVID a few weeks ago and it was not nice, not to mention the total loss of flavor.
No, actually, I don't have a friend. I find it very difficult to make friends with anyone, and the older I get, the more I think I'm really shitty, I must have a problem because I can't stand anyone, I don't consider myself asocial, but none of my relationships ever last because they didn't respect my values, even in my family.
To give an example:
My gay uncle who never came out had a huge depression and burn-out. He fell into drugs and everything that followed was a logical and easily observable sequence. When my family didn't do anything for my uncle, I decided to do something about it myself and told my mum and my aunt. Saying that it was going to be very bad, that something had to be done. They let it continue for two years. And I watched helplessly as this drama unfolded. I tried to have discussions with him, but as he lived too far away for me, I couldn't go to his house, it wasn't possible with my family life. So I suggested that he spend a few weeks with people who could look after him, which he accepted, and he went to stay with my mum. A few days later, his condition improved a little. I had some discussions with him. He tried to arrange a visit to my aunt's house with my mum. My aunt just ignored all his messages and calls. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to help him. It broke him down, destroyed him. I felt a huge anger inside me, but I didn't say anything, there was no need to add more. A few days later, he decided to part with everything he had, he sold everything with the idea of going to Spain for a rest. A few weeks later, we learned of his death. And my aunt was in total drama mode, like she didn't have it coming.
This kind of unfair example in my life happens to me too often and I am currently too afraid to include myself in a friendly relationship with anyone, for fear of aggravating my intransigent vision of things, for fear of being seen, once again, as the "unstable hysterical bitch", because that is how I am perceived in my family. But they are incapable of realising the injustice they are sowing. The only one who doesn't see me that way is my fiancé LIE. But I have not yet met another person of this type.