It appears I am not ILE, as I stated in my previous thread, the typing combo was highly incorrect.
To tell the full story, I have been in the typology community for 6 years, and I was unable to find my correct type, neither MBTI, Enneagram and Socionics. I only know that I am sort of Choleric temperament, since thats what my Father told me so when I discussed temperaments with him (He knows this since Temperaments is rather a basic theory compared to things like MBTI or Socionics), he did not agree that I was Sanguine and neither Phlegmatic either, his overall impression of me was Choleric, he said that he does not see Melancholic in me either, however I am unsure. But really I trust his opinion the most since I consider it the most factual based on the fact that for the entirety of my life I lived with him mostly and he is the one who disciplined and guided me through life.
I think it should be wise to start with my Childhood story, since I think Childhood can reveal a lot about myself and lead to an accurate typing.
Overall, I wasn't much of a talkative person, when I was very young, life was fairly basic. I mostly used to play with toys by myself, back when I was in kindergarden, I used to have like 1 to 2 best friends at most, and didnt interact with rest much. I pretty much loved drawing back then, I loved to redraw cool scenes from cartoons I watched as a kid. I used to play mostly with my friends the most, but however despite being friends we also used to fight sometimes, sometimes I'd beat up in return as in throwing a fit, I remember I was fairly violent during my time in kindergarden. I used to be fairly obsessed with being the winner in games, or sitting in the front of the car, I loved the feeling like I am leading, driving and winning, obviously in a chilidsh playful way. Just dont get that Idea, I was not a full blown social butterfly, I was far from a talkative person, I enjoyed spending time for myself and having fun with childish activities, but I sure enjoyed playing with my friends too, we are somehow the best buddies despite my violent moments.
I was fairly a rule-breaker too, not that I intended for it, but I would get in trouble many times, would get punished by adults plenty times.
To conclude: I was fairly short tempered, a rule-breaker, competitive, violent and I'd throw temper-tantrums a lot.
Moving on to the elementary school, I was in a special ed. class unfortunately, I'm kind of embarrased to say that. As always, I surprisingly I'd get along with others pretty well, except for the teachers ofcourse. It was all fine, dandy and simple, except when I always find myself in trouble with the teachers and would throw temper-tantrums in return for them yelling at me which I found really scary and intimidating back then, I would ofcourse break rules a lot even if It's not my intention or by accident, but I still felt complete resentment towards the teachers. Somehow, I became a little bit more timid during that time, I'd become more anxious because of obviously what I'd described about my experience in school, I felt like I was not allowed to let my guard down, otherwise those damn teachers we're to get me. Outside, sometimes I'd used to be alone with myself, sometimes I would join and play with my class.
At the end of the first school year, I was surprising earned with a Reward for putting great effort into my studying, and this is where the flame of competition slightly lighted up.
Later on, kids in my class would use to leave, while new join. The newer kids we're not so friendly to me either, I turned from a reckless temper-tantrum throwing kid into this anxious, timid, introvert stereotype child after 2 years. Luckily I'd still had 2 friends remaining, one whom I'd used to be teasing a lot by making fun of him, literaly bullying, I used to get in trouble a lot in school by the teachers for that, eventualy my resentment build so high that I started viciously retaliating against the teachers, a message I wanted to deliver to them "Do not fuck with me, you hear me little shit? Or you will face my wrath.". I'd still describe myself as extremely timid, stereotypicaly introverted, I was the quiet kid in class, but outside with my 2 friends I was fairly playful and talked plenty. Though the rest children in my class disliked me, I was bullied, pushed over and treated harshly in pretty malicious ways, which is what made me so quiet, timid and steroetypicaly "Introverted", I really didnt know why they we're to me like this and neither I honestly cared as they we're bunch of assholes to me that wanted to see me suffer.
I'd always get excitedly home and play videogames, as this was a great escape for me from school and all of that toxic chaos that I'd had to endure, from the teachers and other kids that both I considered assholes.
I was extremely competitive when it came to getting good grades, or earning reward for my commitment with studying, I was very status driven. I'd get extremely upset when someone else get rewarded and not me, I'd get extremely jealous, sometimes react maliciously to the point where the teachers honestly decided to tell me whether I'd be a winner or not in advance to cool me down and reduce the suspence.
The last 2 years of elementary school, I sorta started maturing up and developing an obvious attraction to girls despite strongly trying to be in denial about it, like "Girls huh? I dont care LMAO" untill the attraction and feelings started to intensify strongly. My competitive and achievement driven flame strenghtened obviously, and I become a little bit more passionate also with what I enjoy.
Now you'd think I was some sort of loud guy, it was the opposite. I was very quiet, most of the time I spent time with myself in my thoughts, simply observing the other kids playing, waiting for the school to finaly end. I would come home with great happines to finaly play video games, watch cartoons on TV or play with toys to relieve my stress from school, an escape of sort.
Conclusion: I was still fairly short-tempered, rule-breaker, very quiet, somehow secretive, teasing towards my 2 friends, still very stereotypicaly 'introverted'.
Moving on to middle school. My feelings towards girls intensified when one blonde cute girl approached me, I literaly developed crush on her, I was extremely shy and timid near her. I developed strategies on how to approach girls, by being nice, friendly, not showing anger and being soft with them, since thats what I depicted the girls as, being those soft cute cinnamon-rolls like. I become ever more competitive to impress the opposite sex, whether through grades, having extremely great endurance during field trips by trying to do light parkours (While others whined and complained that they are tired, which gave me an ego boost). I was somewhat in the middle with the kids in my class, sometimes I'd talk with them sometimes I would constantly argue with them to prove them not to overstep on me otherwise they'll regret doing it.
I was getting so well with the teachers though, the change of teachers really lightened on my heart and generaly made me less anxious in school. I started also paying more attention to my inner world aswell, I was slightly more attracted to the abstract, such as the mysteries of the space and universe, whether aliens exist or not, thinking about all those cool world that exist in outer space with entirely different species, nations and cultures. I developed more passion on music, not that I wanted to produce music literaly, I just started to develop my own unique taste on music, mostly metal and rock which I depicted as very masculine and manly, something that would be attractive to the opposite sex in my mind.
Years would go by, I'd develop more of my abstract inner world, I would obviously use video games as an escapeism where I was strong, I was extremely competitive. I'd get upset very easy if I was defeated in online multiplayer games, I had so many keyboards broken to pieces.
I would still had moments where I would lose my shit and become extremely angry and respond with defiance if things didnt go my way. I would completely shut off away
Since the teachers used to be open with me with their feelings and try to calm me down, or atleast develop closer releationship with me, I would always respond with "Feelings? I dont know what I feel, I find feelings to be silly".
The next is gonna be the overall story from middle school, high school and then later on in a complete special ed. school that I was transfered to.
Later on I somehow felt I was more accustomed to people, like I started crawing to be with the people, somehow I disliked being alone or lonely, I enjoyed the company of other people as it energised me and really improved my mood, made me more bright. Though I completely lacked the social skills to communicate with other people around me, I'd handle as small talk or serious talk with just 2 people face to face or with a group of people whom I'm confident to communicate, but I was obviously socialy anxious at best, I feared to approach others because I thought they would just look at me like "Who the hell are you? Get out of here.", I was still quiet kid at best. I'd still be also prone to throwing temper tantrums a lot, during the times I get extremely angry, I become withdrawn, closing myself out, as I wanted space to sort my feelings out as my anger overwhelmed me. I would still find myself sometimes pushing others out of lack of patience or sometimes touch or hit others when they do not pay attention to me when I talk to them, that felt like a great deal of annoyance when I was ignored.
During that time also, I become versed with the internet. I watched Anime with my Father, the media in general greatly resonated with me. I started to develop my inner abstract world more greatly, like I was this strong, powerful God, Demiurge like figure of my own little world, where I had all the power, the dominance. I was greatly interested in astrology as a way to discover myself more, and then I found typology, things like MBTI, Enneagram and later on Socionics, I literaly become obsessed with it. I really wanted to build this really strong, powerful identity. However in real life I was this timid, stereotypical introverted guy with social anxiety, I was very shy near other girls and I was fairly at the edge with other kids in my class, again bunch of annoying assholes. Typology, video games and the internet in general was a great escape for me from the stressful chaos of the outerworld.
Later on I became slightly fat and overweight, transformation from being really underweight and literaly being all day hungry at school. I started exercising, and later this is where I found the concept of Bodybuilding. I took it seriously after I finished school completely, though I was far from your motivated person, I'd skip many days of workout. Ever since I finished school, I was mostly home playing video games, sometimes I miss school, I always crave the company of others to not feel lonely.
I started dressing up more sharply and more fashionably, and took it as a passion to try and experiment with different fashion styles, my favorite style in general is this mysterious sharp fashion, like I am this badass Anime prontagonist on my own story.
Conclusion: Ever since middle school, I become a person with many dreams, what I'd want to achieve, what I'd want to have in life, I developed a lot of passion and honestly I really took the effort to control my anger more, I became from a person who breaks keyboards when he rages in video games, to a calm person who simply accepts defeat, more controling of my anger and emotions. I'm generaly a person with big dreams and aspirations, I want to achieve this succesful self-image: having that beautiful dread-gorgeous Greek God body and nice dressing style, having a good profession (Mostly programing), becoming skilled and masterful in cooking, to impress others, to have those who will appreciate me for what I bring and my successes, and honestly getting showered in so many compliments and feel like a walking celebrity. I also become very interested in jung psychology, dream interpretations, archetypes and typology, greatly interested in the abstract, viewing it as something magical and beautiful, where I can find answers about the abstract nature of the universe and self. But still obviously to this day I still feel resentment to other kids and teachers in the elementary school, I still get extremely angry, pushy and argumentative to get things my way, but obviously I reached some maturity to this point, I view the past mostly as sweet nostalgia of great moments of the simpler times.


" untill the attraction and feelings started to intensify strongly. My competitive and achievement driven flame strenghtened obviously, and I become a little bit more passionate also with what I enjoy.
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