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Thread: Weak but valued Se and anger issues

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    Default Weak but valued Se and anger issues

    I wonder if this is the case of IxIs, perhaps maybe xIEs. A lot of INxps seem super calm and phlegmatic on the surface, even have this really soft and dreamy look, they almost seem like they could break if you raise your voice at them, but when I you manage to hit a nerve they explode like crazy with all the yelling, screaming, breaking things with very poor self control. Maybe Fe can even exaggerate this reaction making them seem almost insane.

    I'm not talking about public bursts of anger, rather the subtle kinds that happen at home or with very close people. Like their coworkers know the xEIs as the peace loving butterflies but if their husband happen to strike a nerve at home they become aggressive. Also not talking about actual violence, more like they become that kind of a person you really don't want to argue with because their emotions and anger just get out of hand easily.


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    I don't think ethical types are as interested as arguing as logical types to begin with - especially the NFs. You'll often see me cast /hide or /Evade3 on myself if a logical type person attempts to goad me into that because I know what they're trying to do and I'm not interested. They ideally should have other thinking types around for that. I've noticed that my supervisor (ESE) will sometimes think I'm arguing with them when I'm not because they are hypersensitive to what I'm saying.

    I don't debate - I relate. And if I can't relate - I decimate. It is already said in the official socionic descriptions that IEIs can become more hostile with people we know very well and are comfortable with - so this is old news. Consider it a rite of honor if we smear our period blood on your face.

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    As a Fe polr, I really don't like fighting by word, because it require... big mouth (which SEE are good at). And it's a weakness, because sometime bigmouth is a good way to standup for yourself, better than using logic.

    About family, I didn't have much problems. Most problems come from society.


    When someone piss me off, I never think about yelling at them, instead I think about beating them to death by my bare hand (Sx?? lol). But of course I won't, and I cannot break things because I don't like to lost money for no reason.

    So I find a way for revenge and to stop them, not a good way though, I observe that person as much as I can to understand their fear, their weakness. And then when they dare trying to mess with me again, I gonna strike them at the right sport to make them hurt as hell. No bigmouth needed, just right words are enough. Most of the time the person won't talk to me after that ever again, so at least this method work.

    But that way didn't satified me. Hurting a person emotionally doesn't feel as fun as beating them physically. I just want to kick their ass, I don't care about their feeling, whether it's hurt or nol lol. And you could create more enemies because of that. Damn

    So now I learn to use bigmouth a little bit to avoid troubles from the very beginning. I now can yell without any angry feeling. (I can't yell when I really get angry, it's just my personality))
    Last edited by Tarnished; 12-07-2021 at 03:57 AM.

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    irritation is a common thing for me because i get overstimulated easily but i rarely get truly angry. even if i do it quickly slips into sadness. i’ll cry while arguing lol. if it’s a matter of personal importance(which there aren’t many) then i won’t back down and will end it by whatever means are available to get them to stop talking. one of those methods has been physically but that’s been as an absolute last resort after being continuously provoked while i attempt to deescalate. i used to target insecurities during arguments when i was younger because my anger was more prevalent, i was unhealthy, and i wanted to win but i don’t do that unless i really hate a person now which is rare. i also have made threats like slashing someone’s tires so that they would stop saying bullshit but that was a case of something that felt like an injustice to myself if i didn’t so @.@

    growing up with screaming and yelling being the only way to get noticed and heard makes it so if the person i’m confronting refuses to listen when i’m trying to be reasonable that i have no qualms in doing so.

    i don’t break peoples things when i’m upset. i don’t think it’s fair.

    i have no problem showing how they’re making me feel or exaggerating it if i know that’s the only way to get through to them.

    while i can’t control the fact that i cry easily i refuse to make myself a fool in public other than that so if i’m upset i will just be quiet and i will usually forget about how i felt by the time we are in a private setting.

    otherwise, with the more common irritation i quickly apologize once i calm down if they’re not too mean in return

    Under the surface

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    twiggewed, dewusional, entitwed, snowfwake VewyScawwyNawcissist's Avatar
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    i got pushed a lot by my IEE sister growing up. i needed to focus and watch tv, bc i was missing shows. i needed to watch it bc i was bored, which now i know is cognitive decline. i needed to stimulate myself externally, bc there was nothing in my mind. they were source of ideas, associations. reading was difficult and made me nauseous. standing hurt (so did sitting) but when u are trying to move especially, like outside, and theres nowhere i can lay per my germaphobe mother, it was a constant discomfort/irritation that just kept growing the more i was outside. i thought i was just getting tired, bc i was dissociating from it, there was nothing i could entertain myself outside with at that point too that didnt involve risking hurting myself in various ways or mischief with others property. maybe i also had psychosomatic manifestations of hunger, as irritation.
    hard focusing on the TV and staying in one place over time was allowing my mind to process things more, and thats all i had.

    she was bored too, but she wasnt as much entertained by tv. she would start poking me knocking me out of focus.
    now that i think about it the boredom/flatness can have also been from parents arguing, being overworked and overwhelmed, me just absorbing everything. idk how relevant this is but all INxx people i know seem to have those problems in family.
    my sister's way of entertaining herself was too repetitive for me. whatever she'd want to do at some points was what had already been done. exhausting and mindnumbing.
    i broke her toy once that i remember well right now this was in anger for revenge. there was a lot of hesitation and thinking about whether i should be doing that, was it my conscience telling me its not fair if i dont do it. i have hit her in the head, where the fights would go too long, im hysterical, it hurts to move, my mind is going blank from exhaustion, and i have to push myself to hurt her, because she's comfortable with doing this, she never quits fighting unless i go too far. her mentality was that she'd hurt me like she's fine with being hurt herself. so id have to return it worse. this is also her not comprehending relativity, meaning hurting someone one way is not the same for someone else bc they are in different states that would translate the hurt to being differently experienced as well, which most people also comprehend too literally, like u would hit a child with the same force u'd use on adult, but if we're both children its somehow the same.
    what irritated me a lot was that she was comfortable with doing this to me out of her boredom in the first place.
    we'd fight for the remote too ofc, idk who it stayed with most of the time, but i do remember a lot of times i would leave it to her bc trying to take it would cost me more than taking it would give.

    SEE kid who kept taking my pen, pulling my notebook as im writing, distracting me from paying attention for grades father forced me to have (which he denies), so the pressure from teachers, undersleeping, boredom, sister at home, mother nagging about me staying at home to play games i took on that SEE kid in frustration, i prolly hurt myself more than i did trying to hit him, it wasnt difficult for people to restrain me, im so weak. thats one of the most embarassing moments in my life. im glad i was weak then though, as well as when fighting my sister, tho maybe if i wasnt it wouldnt have gotten to that point but something else would have been worse.

    i have a lot of resentment about ppl in general controlling expression, esp since its like the most worthless thing to control about someone. this fact proves its malicious, its a way to control and make me obedient.

    id also say sensors flip to anger more often and are more destructive with it. its like they are angry constantly, theres this tension in their presence. they are also more likely to raise their voice in general regardless if angry or not. SxI seem to hold it in mostly than others, but they throw those disgusted glances at people and anything, that really upsets me. its like somethings always wrong and they're pissed off. ive had experiences with angry INxx, and i know what u mean, but their anger is not so grounded? it feels more like they could fly in any direciton. theres much more a delay between their mental state and physical action. in my experience ppl take that delay as a signal they can still push them around.
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    i'm afraid it will hurt like hell, i am afraid of screaming and i am afraid of crying, i am afraid of forgetting but i'm not afraid of dying.



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    Everyone gets mad. I have never seen an IEI lose it, but I know it happens.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post
    Everyone gets mad. I have never seen an IEI lose it, but I know it happens.
    Usually with close family and friends.

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    I got locked out of my house recently on my birthday. I blamed lack of sleep. I couldn't hide the stress from my friends, and because it was generally shitty they were all super supportive. It was quite liberating to rant about my sleep problems to them that night, without the fear of coming across as angry or non-sensical. I allowed myself to feel the anger at myself and the situation. No one gave me weird looks like they often do when I try to explain why I'm feeling shit. They were just really supportive- mostly guy friends but my sister was there too and she was cool. I also snapped at my parents and sister about 'no one giving a shit' about my sleep problems like I would never usually do. My ESE mum suddenly turned into an insightful LII giving me useful advice and my sister has been texting me all week since. Previously I remember several days turning up to my mum's house like a complete zombie, going there for the sake of some human contact but talking pure nonsense because my brain was so fried. No matter how much I tried to explain how shit I felt she just ignored everything I said and rolled her eyes at me. I told me IEE friend all about this on the phone and she said 'yes, it's good to be honest, I tried it recently'. I said to her something like 'it's good to force people to be better than they are'. I don't think I was aware I was doing that at the time, but subconsciously I didn't worry about how I was making them feel or how they were feeling in general, I just wanted to let them help me make sure the night went well and help myself feel better.
    Last edited by Bethany; 12-17-2021 at 06:15 PM.

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