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Thread: Has psychologically mismatched subtype affected your relationships

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    Stray Cat's Avatar
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    Default Has psychologically mismatched subtype affected your relationships

    Whether it's duality or conflict, has a mismatched psychological subtype affected the relationship for you?

    If you reply, let us know if you're referring to DCNH or contact/lead subtype.

    IMO, subtype can even affect a duality relationship.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    We all need different relationships. For one ESTJ being my duals are terrible at supporting me
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beautiful sky View Post
    We all need different relationships. For one ESTJ being my duals are terrible at supporting me
    In my opinion, you're an IEI. Then again, you know yourself better than I do.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stray Cat View Post
    In my opinion, you're an IEI. Then again, you know yourself better than I do.
    I look like an IEI but Iím not very emotive and Iím serious as well as judgmental as hell
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    I know a couple SEI-H and ILE-N, they married but are now divorced. I think one reason was that they became distant to each other.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    I know a couple SEI-H and ILE-N, they married but are now divorced. I think one reason was that they became distant to each other.
    That’s what all divorced couples who weren’t fighting with each other say. “We grew apart.”

    Humans are made for four-year relationships. More than that reflects hard work, dedication, and maturity.
    That, or a basement dungeon with chains.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    That’s what all divorced couples who weren’t fighting with each other say. “We grew apart.”

    Humans are made for four-year relationships. More than that reflects hard work, dedication, and maturity.
    That, or a basement dungeon with chains.

    They were only married for a few years. The ILE especially was distant, spent much time in his man cave in the basement researching stuff on the internet. He was a serious man, but I think he didn't fully commit to the role as a father and a husband. He was maybe too modern and relaxed. I think he was a responsible person but ILEs can have problems with committing. Not that all have that problem.

    But since distance was a problem, I think it mattered that they were both distant subtypes. The ILE clearly needed a Dominant subtype. But I don't know everything. I just know what the SEI has told me and of course I picked up some of the atmosphere when visiting them.

    You mentioned dedication and hard work. I think it has a lot to do with growing into that role (of a Father, a Husband, a Man), so that you don't just continue being your youth self, but let the new roles enrich you. Then the relationships work comes maybe more naturally.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    They were only married for a few years. The ILE especially was distant, spent much time in his man cave in the basement researching stuff on the internet. He was a serious man, but I think he didn't fully commit to the role as a father and a husband. He was maybe too modern and relaxed. I think he was a responsible person but ILEs can have problems with committing. Not that all have that problem.

    But since distance was a problem, I think it mattered that they were both distant subtypes. The ILE clearly needed a Dominant subtype. But I don't know everything. I just know what the SEI has told me and of course I picked up some of the atmosphere when visiting them.

    You mentioned dedication and hard work. I think it has a lot to do with growing into that role (of a Father, a Husband, a Man), so that you don't just continue being your youth self, but let the new roles enrich you. Then the relationships work comes maybe more naturally.
    I was born to be a dad. When my son was born, I was finally happy.

    I'd do it again if I could.

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    I don't feel very good with people I consider as N - sub regrading their type. Feel like I'm always being judge by them somehow. I'm not a good worker. Even as a strong Te type (3D), I'm just being average when it come to getting-shit-done.

    Feel better with D - Sub (I can neutralize their energy). Feel good with C - sub. I now realize most of my friends are C.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I was born to be a dad. When my son was born, I was finally happy.

    I'd do it again if I could.

    Yes. I think the ILE was not like that. He was responsible, but his commitment wasn't deep enough, I think. But I didn't know him that well.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    I've been a harmonizing subtype most of my type and my LSI-D E8 boss could sometimes feel like my conflictor when I first started out. She takes pride in working 60+ hours a week and taking on as much responsibility as possible out of necessity, whereas my natural inclination is to do enough to get by and avoid doing anything that's going to raise my blood pressure; she's sharp as a tack and has a photographic memory, while I'm dull and probably have undiagnosed ADHD. We otherwise get along great when it comes to anything non-work related
    Last edited by Averroes; 12-04-2021 at 07:35 PM.

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    With regard to lead/contact subtypes, the introverted subtypes are more reserved. Being reserved isn't a bad thing whatsoever. Moderation is probably best. Being too reserved or "fun" in all situations isn't exactly expedient.

    I'd say each subtype makes a person behave differently but anger is an interesting emotion. It is an emotion one cannot use a psychological mask for.

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