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Thread: Illusionary relations have healing qualities?

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    Default Illusionary relations have healing qualities?

    I was wondering if anyone feels this way about their illusionary partner. I have known a couple of ILEs in the past but have only recently become close to one. He feels very important to me. He is a lot younger than me, same age roughly as my youngest LSI sibling. However he’s mature for his age. I also think the guy/gal dynamic is nice. I have met his gf and friends and we go to the same music event together. It’s easy to talk to a background of lovely music.


    We can have great discussions and share similar interests but what I like most is that we can comfortably talk about being sad or feeling a bit lost and I feel like we know what each other means. It makes me feel like someone understands, I’m not alone and I have someone to share this part of me with. Also I think that maybe we can offer each other some suggestions for how to deal with these thoughts or talk romantically about life to cheer each other up. Maybe it’s just that we really get on too and it’s not only type-related.


    I know duals may have healing qualities but for this post I’m more interested in illusionary or maybe other types. Or how other types have healing qualities that are different to those of duals..I think maybe mirrors can have this effect too? Maybe ESE for me too but in a slightly different way.

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    I know duals may have healing qualities but for this post I’m more interested in illusionary or maybe other types. Or how other types have healing qualities that are different to those of duals..
    I think identical is good. Similar areas of interest so you can learn from each other, and similar problems so you can both start working on them. Feeling of being understood.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Baqer's Avatar
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    ILE-IEI mirage can be very nice (though arguably very dependent on the variations of ILE/IEI's). To the extent that I can have close relations, it's only been through an IEI.

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    The Darling Duck~ MissDucki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Baqer View Post
    ILE-IEI mirage can be very nice (though arguably very dependent on the variations of ILE/IEI's). To the extent that I can have close relations, it's only been through an IEI.
    Ive noticed a lot of IEI‘s and ILE’s end up together. There seems to always be a bond that I can’t put my finger on that just works. But I can be that way with SLE’s too. But more on a platonic scale.

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    The Banana King's Avatar
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    Illusionary works particularly well with ILE-IEI because there is a lot of common ground between the types. Unlike ILE/SEI or IEI/SLE. I feel ILE is a type that doesn't relate to others based on their personality or whether they "like" them (Fi-POLR), they relate to people according to their interests (Ne). And so the attraction to IEI with common interests is immediate. The problem happens later on during interaction (as with all illusionary relations). Neither person can "lower their guard" so they end up using their role functions like half of the time.
    Probably the cool thing about IEI is never running out of things to talk or joke about. It's similar to ILE/ILE, talking for hours and hours and constant joking, but the dynamic and atmosphere is different, I guess because of Ti and Fe. Other members of Alpha quadra get a bit tired of talking after a while. But basically talking is the extent to which the interaction is pleasant. Getting things done is impossible This IEI guy was often in my group assignments in college and he was SO fucking lazy. He was really smart but lazy as hell so I can only imagine some SLE being all sergeant with him to get him to do his job.

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    The Evening and the Morning Star Eudaimonia's Avatar
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    Illusionary relationships can work, sure. I don't think they have any personal growth or healing opportunities compared to a dual relationship or even activity.
    “You are the music while the music lasts.”
    ― T.S. Eliot


    ENFJ | EIE-Fe-D | 3w2-6w7-9w8 Sx/So | VEFL | Griffindor | Taurus Sun - Taurus Asc - Aquarius Moon | Hanged Man + Empress | Chaotic Neutral | Dolphin

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    Yes IEI's-ILE's are very common actually.
    You both are intuitives, sharing the same Ti/Fe function, what's not to like haha.
    But they say in a long term mirage will be a bit boring, and not too good in doing projects together. Not sure about this, I didn't marry an LSI, but I dated an LSI before and currently seeing one, they're one of my favourite persons.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany View Post
    We can have great discussions and share similar interests but what I like most is that we can comfortably talk about being sad or feeling a bit lost and I feel like we know what each other means. It makes me feel like someone understands, I’m not alone and I have someone to share this part of me with. Also I think that maybe we can offer each other some suggestions for how to deal with these thoughts or talk romantically about life to cheer each other up. Maybe it’s just that we really get on too and it’s not only type-related.
    Yes I can relate to this when I'm with an LSI.
    Last edited by Scarlett; 10-22-2021 at 09:42 AM.

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    @The Banana King Yes, my ILE friend 'discovered me' in a crowd dancing to his fave dj lol. Later on he told me that he thought I just looked 'so happy' haha. It's useful knowing about socionics because if we have any problems I can point him in that direction (of course I have told him about it too). I think the age gap helps- he is young, idealistic, sensitive and I am older and appreciate being around someone fun, intelligent, creative and full of life.

    Hm I think I have met a couple of ILEs in the past who could have been boyfriend material, they came across as 'wise' or 'stoic', also fun lol. I think these relationship could work out well, if both people decide they want to be together/be there for each other. You would just need to come up with a plan for getting things done And maybe give each other space.

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    I think even if I were to date a dual I would really appreciate having my ILE friend around. Similar to how my I find my semi-dual inspiring, I find my illusionary partner is someone who makes me feel like I can overcome personal battles and feel part of something bigger than me and my problems. I'm sure for a lot of people with dual partners eventually feel the need to form strong friendships with other types. If you have a secure relationship with your dual it's nice to think you could form important platonic relationships with non duals. It might be harder to form a platonic relationship with a dual if you're in a non dual relationship but there are plenty of other types. Illusionary seems like one that can have a nice platonic feel but a deep connection (for me with ILEs/ this specific friend at least).

    Another thing..I know it's important for me to find SEI friends too wherever I can..there is something dual like about them for me, just being next to them is a warm rush of energy and peace.

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    Agree.
    I have one ESI close friend, and I remember correctly the first time I met him I literally ignored him. I really don't like his inferior-Te.
    But after we meet a few times I realise deep down he's the only person who understands me, and he always comes to me for advice every time he argues with his girlfriend. Haha. He's dating an IEI, my IEI close friend.
    So yeah we get along really well after a while, not instantly like with my illusionary or activity. But being around your dual does give you different kind of energy, you just feel happy and excited and optimistic "he got my back" haha.
    So yes, it's important to find dual friends too.

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    There's a reason they're called mirage or, deceptive like-mindedness. They are also your dual's look-a-like for a reason. Your mirage skillfully looks after your polr, which (unlike your DS function) you haven't the mental energy to really deal with.

    The issue with mirage are the quadral differences. According to theory, Alphas "reflect & enjoy" while Betas "achieve & indulge". In this way, you will certainly prefer your dual's social manner.

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    I absolutely hate my mirage partners. I've suffered from s*xual assault from the male IEEs I've been involved with and betrayal/backstabbing from the IEE women I've tried to befriend. No offense to anyone this is just my experience. It never works out, and I'm too jaded to go through the motions of "hoping for better and trying again" cycle that is mirage relations. I keep my distance.

    There's a new IEE girl in my class and I get exhausted when she talks to me. Her mere presence bothers me, worse than my conflict partner teacher (who actually makes me laugh, but I can tell she doesn't like me and we should keep far from each other). Everything I can't stand about the new girl has to do with her poor Se. She steps on my feet, bumps into me, gets too close for comfort when speaking, forgets to wear deodorant, and is sloppy and childish. I hate the negativist "insult you as foreplay" thing they do and how they have no regard for the physical wellbeing of others, but expect an unreasonable amount of caregiving from you. I find them easy to identify and highly annoying once I do ID them.

    My SLE friend backbites the everliving crap out of this SEI girl in our class, which makes me wonder if this kind of behavior is inherent in mirage pairs. Every single mirage couple I'd see come to the casino I work at look like they are feigning happiness while actually miserable and visibly tired of each other.

    Semiduality can have similar tension but my need for dual seeking function makes those relations more tolerable because I don't feel like I have to explain my world view to them and they are exponentially more useful to me.

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    I’m sure these relations can have the opposite effect of being ‘healing’ too. Also, I feel like ILE and IEI are often quite open to being helped, they want someone to reach out and help them with their mental struggles where as other types might not so easily admit their weaknesses/ struggles. Could be similar for LSI/LIE. For me, on paper, semi-duality seems harder because with SEEs I have to face my moral failings/ learn to tolerate theirs. With mirage I’m sure we’ll disagree on stuff, but you can get closer to each other which could be useful for helping you feel ‘whole’ or ‘accepted’ if you’ve been through something difficult. But both semi-duality and mirage seem nice, if you find a good one. Semi-duals..cheer you up

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    I wouldn't say they are "healing" per se but they can be comfortable and naturally empathetic. I have social anxiety issues and people avoidant issues even now- though I am better than what I was, I still am quite picky about what social gatherings I attend to and ILEs have almost always made me feel welcome and wanted me to show up etc.. My ESE mom really likes my ILE friends because they help me get out of the house and be more of a Functional Normie lol.

    And if I got pig's blood poured on my head figuratively speaking socially, they were more or less the type of people that didn't laugh and instead looked at the bullies like 'how could you' lol instead of laughing along with the other people. Or I mean if they did laugh- we were both laughing at it together etc.

    I think they can both be cutely inspired by each other naturally etc.

    where it has been clashy/negative though if we morally criticize each other for anything instead of just base acceptance or something. It seems to get under each other's skin too much- we take it too seriously or something, and it can feel negative and weird. Maybe not enough to totally destroy the relationship or anything... but I don't think both of the types care about closing the Fi distance so much to even care much.

    Yeah at times, illusionary relationships can feel very warm and caring. The official descriptions all say this. It comes and goes though.

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