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Thread: Sugar daddy/ sugar baby relationships

  1. #41
    EIE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nataraja View Post
    There's something about the transactional nature of this relationship that makes me sick, but I can't really argue why.
    Is it because it takes the human essence away? I think after awhile, you might have to numb yourself emotionally to do it long term... Which can take away empathy. If not careful, the power imbalance can turn into financial abuse, among other things.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nataraja View Post
    There's something about the transactional nature of this relationship that makes me sick, but I can't really argue why.
    For me it's because if my "love" can be bought, having the same feelings and behavior towards the one I really love doesn't mean anything anymore. There are just some things you don't sell for the same reason.
    R

  3. #43
    lkdhf qkb's Avatar
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    Marx would say that this relationship, by turning intimacy into a commodity that can be exchanged for material rewards is a form of reification, i.e. both the sugar daddy and the sugar baby become mere 'objects', which produce 'intimacy services' or 'material support'; these services become the focus point of the relationship, it's a business transaction. This of course can only lead to alienation, as both people are not seen or see themselves for who they are, but only what they can give. Alienation is the opposite of love.

    In Marxist theory, objectification refers to the reversal of the relationship of people producing for one another in a division of labor into an objectified (reified) relationship of commodities to one another. Under capitalist production relations, the products of labor take on the form of commodities, money, and capital, and as such become independent of their actual producers. This process is also called alienation of the producer from the product and of the producers from each other.
    EDIT: the temptation to bring up Marx was too strong, couldn't help myself lol but I think in substance he is saying about the same thing as the people in this thread.
    Last edited by lkdhf qkb; 09-17-2021 at 09:38 AM.

  4. #44
    Ксеркс, царь царей xerx's Avatar
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    I've watched interviews with former sex workers, but there isn't a consensus on whether or not it's a good thing. Some were completely traumatized by it, whereas others found it empowering. I really have no idea what to think about about it, especially as a man (whose understanding of women's real feelings is entirely theoretical).

    I'll say this, though: the glorification of sex work might be problematic. For a naive teenager, is eighteen really the best age to make life-altering decisions?

    Sex-negative feminists say that it opens the door to sexual abuse and trafficking. Marxist feminists sometimes add that it commodifies the woman's body, which is in itself a form of violence. But I suspect that the objection is deeper and more visceral. I seriously believe that most women recoil in horror at the idea of selling your body — to the point that sex producers and consumers (and maybe the sex workers as well) seem like subhuman mega-creeps to them — and that even liberal, sex positive feminists (the type that are currently in control of academia) secretly hate it, and only support it because it lines up with liberal dogma WRT. bodily autonomy.
    Last edited by xerx; 09-26-2021 at 07:56 AM. Reason: ...

  5. #45
    Ксеркс, царь царей xerx's Avatar
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    According to this, young women, especially feminist women, are turning away from sex-positivity, mostly as a reaction to hookup culture and extreme porn: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/24/o...-feminism.html. Seems interesting if true.
    Last edited by xerx; 09-26-2021 at 08:04 AM.

  6. #46
    Shazaam's Avatar
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    I've watched interviews with former sex workers, but there isn't a consensus on whether or not it's a good thing. Some were completely traumatized by it, whereas others found it empowering.
    Yeah no shit - and everything in life is like that. A lot of non-sexual things people said would be good for me were nothing but traumatizing to me as well. They were just perhaps good for *them* but they didn't have the empathy to see outside of their own perspective. And I don't fully blame them- because that is actually not that easy to do.

    In the end I think it's good if people keep their nose out of other people's business [see the funny lady in my avatar] as long as they aren't doing anything illegal or non-consensual. I also don't think it's wise to mix 'sex positivity' with actual sex work or monetizing sexuality. One implies you are having great sex with people you consent with while the other you are doing it for money which is more likely to turn into something immoral or soulless to me. 'The love of money is the root of all evil' after all. I do agree that for a lot of people it has a tendency to not be a good thing but at the same time, being jealous that another person had an enjoyable orgasm with somebody they were attracted to and you didn't (and falsely claiming it's 'sexual abuse' just because you are jelly) is just being immature.

  7. #47
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    If I was attractive I'd def consider. When all the doors are open why prematurely shut?

    When none are open one clings.

  8. #48
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    I watched this short documentary about a Finnish sex worker. She doesn't seem like the typical prostitute. She is young, good looking and smart and not a drug addict. Seems nice and normal. She sells sex because it's easier than working in a bar. She's a student.

    No subtitles but here's a summary of what she says:

    - She is picky about her customers and only chooses men who treat her well.
    - The sex is often good, from average to really great.
    - If she has 1-2 men each day for a week she can take the rest of the month off.
    - She gets more respect from men in this work than from working in a bar.
    - She disagrees with the general view that prostitutes are being taken advantage of. She is the one who has power.
    - It's not that different from normal dating.
    - She wants to get to know the men a little before sex. They talk for awhile and then go over to her bed.
    - Kissing is ok, but no weird or kinky stuff

    I think it's all about being good looking and in the position that you can choose whom you sleep with.

    Not sure about her type, but EP seems right.
    Last edited by Tallmo; 09-26-2021 at 01:58 PM.
    A true sense-perception certainly exists, but it always looks as though objects were not so much forcing their way into the subject in their own right as that the subject were seeing things quite differently, or saw quite other things than the rest of mankind. As a matter of fact, the subject perceives the same things as everybody else, only, he never stops at the purely objective effect, but concerns himself with the subjective perception released by the objective stimulus.
    (Jung on Si)

  9. #49
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    We all sell ourselves in some way or another, but it doesn't mean we should celebrate it.
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WELP | 3w4 sx/so

  10. #50
    silently judging you
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    I'm sugar free.

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