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Thread: Sugar daddy/ sugar baby relationships

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    Default Sugar daddy/ sugar baby relationships

    Don’t judge me, but my sister and I are currently arguing over this.

    If one wanted to pursue a sugar relationship which socionic relationship would be conducive to that? Other than duality, obviously?

    A sugar relationship involves the exchange of money and gifts for companionship and all that comes with a regular relationship.

    My sister thinks that a beneficiary or supervisee would make the best sugar daddy to her and I believe it is recipe for disaster.

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    Te doms seem to be most likely targets for sugar babies. Is a sugar daddy(mommy) / sugar baby relationship really that different from LxE/ExI duality?

    I guess SLEs and LSIs would be good targets too because their duals are often useless at making money lmao.

    I don't know if there is a specific intertype relation that would be better or worse for this dynamic.
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
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    You'd think that the arrangement would work best between high-dimension Te and high dimension Fi types, but I think it won't really last long. One or the other will eventually think they are getting the short end of the stick.

    Yes, I agree that it would be a formula for a disastrous relationship.

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    Feels like a sugar coated version of being a prostitute really. At that point I'd rather go all the way and have sex with more people for more money and go all out - sugar daddy/mommaism seems like prostitution in the Fi way. For me- it wouldn't feel like a relationship, and would just feel more like an explotation-ship.

    I don't judge what anybody else does though or at least I try not to. I accept what's wrong for me might be right for somebody else- and I expect the same courtsey/respect in return.

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    My SxE and EIE friends mentioned before that they wanted to be a sugar baby. They said they'll be okay fucking a fat ugly man if that means large amounts of $$$.




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    Baby: EIE , and maybe SEE, SLE and ESI.
    Daddy: anyone who rich enough...

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    I want to be a sugar baby
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WEPL | 3w4 sx/so

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    I also have seen generally SxE and xIE types say such things, some actually did it and some did the opposite though. One LSI friend also said she is open to it, she had a very long relationship with someone who was very behind her in terms of financial stance. However, after that relationship, she cared about her partner's resources.

    Hence, when people say such things, I also check whether they do it or not. Some find it ok or good as an idea but do the opposite.

    For me, it sounds too transactional and plus I would feel like I gave my control to the other person. If I find this kind of a thing ok someday, I prefer to become a sex worker rather than this, since that way I would be directly in charge of the money.

    I feel like I am selling some pieces of my soul at work. I want to keep some of it to myself.

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    My IEI hairdresser was cutting the hair of an old female battle-axe (possibly SLE, possibly LSE) and after she left, he went on and on about how rich and famous she was. He clearly saw the “rich and famous” before he saw the “old and ugly and looks like a man” part.
    I said something to him about what it would be like to be supported by a woman like that, and he gushed “Yes! Who wouldn’t like to be financially supported?”
    To be charitable, he styled women’s hair all day long and was used to looking past the surface to find their inner beauty.
    To be candid, I got the impression that if he were supported by a rich woman who looked like she fought in the Battle of Stalingrad, that he wouldn’t be faithful to her.
    Just my impression.


    I’m embarrassed to say that I’d be fine with financially supporting an ESI if she were the right person. I did that with my ex-wife for a few years during our marriage. My willingness to do that depends strongly on whether she can and wants to work, and if the support is helping to achieve a mutual goal.

    But @MrInternet42069 is also right. I have the weakness that I am easily emotionally manipulated.
    Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-15-2021 at 12:04 PM.

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    There're many long-lasting relationships where one partner's participation is nothing more than a business venture; both partners thinking that way seems rare. Usually, the "business partner" occupies the driver's seat in such a relationship and is the most likely to end it when s/he has gotten what s/he wants. I haven't noticed any type prevalence in these relationships.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Does being a sugar baby require you to have sex with the sugar daddy? lol
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    Quote Originally Posted by fatgurl View Post
    Does being a sugar baby require you to have sex with the sugar daddy? lol

    Sex, and a whole lot of other things that you never imagined.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Sex, and a whole lot of other things that you never imagined.
    Chronic "grass is always greener" syndrome




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    A friend of a friend is a sugar baby. She is a stripper and her boyfriend even bought her a house. He tried to propose to her but she won’t accept until he gets her a Mercedes. I could never but, low key I am impressed.

    I think Benefit relations have the opportunity for that kind of dynamic. I agree with the following types on here in regards to that.



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    Quote Originally Posted by MissDucki View Post
    A friend of a friend is a sugar baby. She is a stripper and her boyfriend even bought her a house. He tried to propose to her but she won’t accept until he gets her a Mercedes. I could never but, low key I am impressed.

    I think Benefit relations have the opportunity for that kind of dynamic. I agree with the following types on here in regards to that.
    Dayyyuum

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    I guess my fiancee is kind of a sugar momma now that I think about it. She is older than me, makes more than I do, has supported me for a long time, and pretty much pays all the bills by herself (she takes money from my bank account too).
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WEPL | 3w4 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post
    I guess my fiancee is kind of a sugar momma now that I think about it. She is older than me, makes more than I do, has supported me for a long time, and pretty much pays all the bills by herself (she takes money from my bank account too).

    You must be pretty great in bed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post
    I guess my fiancee is kind of a sugar momma now that I think about it. She is older than me, makes more than I do, has supported me for a long time, and pretty much pays all the bills by herself (she takes money from my bank account too).

    I know a male EIE who met and married an LSI female who basically supported him. They seemed pretty happy together, until he cheated on her with his HS GF and let her find out about it.

    Maybe he was testing her love, maybe he was bored and needed an Fe challenge, IDK, but she kicked him out of their house and said she's done with him. That was two years ago. He thinks he's getting back in. I know some LSIs, and I have serious doubts. I think he completely misjudged her.

    You really should never, ever lie to an LSI. And cheating? Well, just don't do it.

    For insight into a female LSI's character, watch the movie RAN. The female protagonist is LSI.

    https://i.imgur.com/87jo7ix.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    You really should never, ever lie to an LSI. And cheating? Well, just don't do it.

    Yeah there's a very fine line with LSIs. Once you cross it, there's no going back.
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WEPL | 3w4 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by fatgurl View Post
    Does being a sugar baby require you to have sex with the sugar daddy? lol
    These girls don't.


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    I get that it might be empowering, but monetizing sex / romance damages people's ability to have long-term relationships. Or maybe I'm just getting old (but not old enough to be a sugar daddy, heh).

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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    I get that it might be empowering, but monetizing sex / romance damages people's ability to have long-term relationships. Or maybe I'm just getting old (but not old enough to be a sugar daddy, heh).
    if one goes through the cynicism gateway, most of the pain is in the passage at first... on the other end "the dark side" is fun, because the mocking and destroying of ideals one once held dear feels liberating... the emptiness when it stretches long enough will lead one towards an exit again, and if they still are alive enough there should be enough juice left for a rebirth, as though all the black around one's heart can be shed just like that! as though it was only loosely held, a slimy coating that can always slip right off. or, even if one has forgotten themselves, they can heal about it cathartic-ly later as years of wasted drama (even if the drama was more self-numbing but within a context of self-destruction) always feel worth it when they lead to a shattering realization about why one did this to themselves.

    but through the cynicism gateway, relationships are just games anyway, painful games. so probably a "business arrangement" is preemptive pain management.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post
    I guess my fiancee is kind of a sugar momma now that I think about it. She is older than me, makes more than I do, has supported me for a long time, and pretty much pays all the bills by herself (she takes money from my bank account too).
    kinda same here. My husband makes all the money. But I take care of the kids 24/7 and do all the laundry and dishes. He’s never done chores before, or even changed a diaper or gut up at night with them..I do them all. So I guess we have a bit of an understanding lol. He says I’m a crappy housekeeper and cook, but I’m a great mom. But we try not to eat in our house, so it works out. and I try not to be a slob
    ·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.𝓽𝓾𝓶𝓫𝓵𝓻·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xerx View Post
    These girls don't.

    Interesting channel

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poptart View Post
    Interesting channel
    It's not mine, in case that's what you're wondering. (:

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    The asymmetry relationships. The relationship where men carry women in their arms and put them onto a pedestal is supervision and on rarer occasions the benefit. The women eventually become dissatisfied, and if these relations struck on purpose there are plenty of negatives to come.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post
    I want to be a sugar baby
    I genuinely considered it until someone mentioned that once you monetize a relationship it's hard to go back to doing normal relationships without expecting some sort of end to it.

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    I think which relationship works better might depend on whether you're dealing with rational or irrational types. I don't think beneficiary or supervisee relationships play out the same way for rationals as they do for irrationals, but I suspect just based on my own experience that this would work more easily for irrational types
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    Most of me thinks I wouldn't do it... but if I did I'd just go full femboi and find a rich SLE or LIE man to satisfy in exchange for money and drugs. Honestly I could probably even handle an LSE in this type of relationship since it doesn't have to be deep or "real". I think I could do that for awhile as long as he treated me okay
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    If your main reason is not to get financially supported, lavished or if your main method to get that person is not financial, then you are not a sugar baby, mommy, daddy. When it is like that and when sugar mommy/daddy is very loaded, it generally causes some power dynamic issues if anybody is considering, ofcourse everyone can choose their own poison.

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    Quote Originally Posted by fatgurl View Post
    Does being a sugar baby require you to have sex with the sugar daddy? lol
    Not always. Some people are just desperate for companionship. So I guess the sugar baby is "emotionally whoring" in that instance. There's always some sort of exchange or what would be the point? Wouldn't surprise me if there are gay dudes/lesbians who are looking for surrogate mommies/daddies or some weird dynamic like that if we wanna go to the extreme end.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AWellArmedCat View Post
    I think which relationship works better might depend on whether you're dealing with rational or irrational types. I don't think beneficiary or supervisee relationships play out the same way for rationals as they do for irrationals, but I suspect just based on my own experience that this would work more easily for irrational types
    can you explain more please

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    Quote Originally Posted by myresearch View Post
    If your main reason is not to get financially supported, lavished or if your main method to get that person is not financial, then you are not a sugar baby, mommy, daddy. When it is like that and when sugar mommy/daddy is very loaded, it generally causes some power dynamic issues if anybody is considering, ofcourse everyone can choose their own poison.
    True. The commodity isn't always sex....it usually is. Could be sex, emotional support, quality time, social status (arm candy), etc in exchange for material resources. However, the arrangement and parameters is up to the participants.

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    I thought this one was an IEI meme. Oh, wait golddigger ≠ sugarbaby.

    Sorry.
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    Quote Originally Posted by chocolatte View Post
    I genuinely considered it until someone mentioned that once you monetize a relationship it's hard to go back to doing normal relationships without expecting some sort of end to it.

    I agree with this. I feel like I would get into a relationship and think that I know what I'm getting into and then get mad that they don't really love me and just see me as a piece of meat lol.
    With mind distracted, never thinking, "Death is coming,"
    To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
    And then to come out empty--it is a tragic error.
    ENFJ | EIE | WEPL | 3w4 sx/so

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    Quote Originally Posted by calm View Post
    can you explain more please
    Lol well I attempted to explain my reasoning several times, and realized I didn't have much of a case. I was mostly just thinking of my relations with LIEs and how I think that could work out quite well, and I'm afraid I overgeneralized. It probably just depends on the specific types being looked at. I think a supervision sugar daddy/baby relationship could work fine between LIE and IEI because the LIE can easily handle the Te aspects of life for the IEI while still being comfortably Ni-valuing
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    There's something about the transactional nature of this relationship that makes me sick, but I can't really argue why.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nataraja View Post
    There's something about the transactional nature of this relationship that makes me sick, but I can't really argue why.
    Is it because it takes the human essence away? I think after awhile, you might have to numb yourself emotionally to do it long term... Which can take away empathy. If not careful, the power imbalance can turn into financial abuse, among other things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nataraja View Post
    There's something about the transactional nature of this relationship that makes me sick, but I can't really argue why.
    For me it's because if my "love" can be bought, having the same feelings and behavior towards the one I really love doesn't mean anything anymore. There are just some things you don't sell for the same reason.




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