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Thread: ILI narcissism and learning to get along

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    Default ILI narcissism and learning to get along

    https://imgur.com/a/68MzJOq\

    https://www.quora.com/How-narcissist.../Adrian-Tomole

    i know this wont teach u anything. ILIs are aversive to learning and growing when it comes to being aware and caring that there are other people who want their share in life.

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    This forum is Socionics, not MBTI lol

    Though I love myself so much, and I really am a fucking selfish person, I've never consider myself as a narcissist, because I don't fucking need other people's love or admire. And I also don't look down on other people because it's stupid to do so, for my own good. Fe polr play a huge part here..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moharu View Post
    This forum is Socionics, not MBTI lol

    Though I love myself so much, and I really am a fucking selfish person, I've never consider myself as a narcissist, because I don't fucking need other people's love or admire. And I also don't look down on other people because it's stupid to do so, for my own good. Fe polr play a huge part here..
    How would you say you’re selfish?

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    These types of posts make me question if I'm actually an ILI. I don't think I am a narcissist but jeez, okay, I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt

    I read the Quora description, I know someone like this though and she types as INTJ in MBTI. And compared to her I am pretty sure I have good amount of self-esteem. Is she the ILI? Different subtype maybe? Should I consider another type? Also I have my character flaws but I think arrogance is not one of them.
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    These types of posts make me question if I'm actually an ILI. I don't think I am a narcissist but jeez, okay, I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt

    I read the Quora description, I know someone like this though and she types as INTJ in MBTI. And compared to her I am pretty sure I have good amount of self-esteem. Is she the ILI? Different subtype maybe? Should I consider another type? Also I have my character flaws but I think arrogance is not one of them.
    u seem ILI so far but I havent bothered reading ur posts too much.

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    So in this case this narc attitude (and I'd say each type possess their own kind) is contained in their Ip subjective absorbing qualities. It is as if the experience is about solely them.
    An Ip attitude is to a question "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is sometimes plain WUT whereas Ep is more inclined to think about the tree while they ignore the "smell the flowers aspect".
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    Aren't there any MBTI forums anymore ?

    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    but I havent bothered reading ur posts too much.
    How nice.
    Last edited by BaruchJorgell; 09-12-2021 at 11:13 AM.

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    >I don't fucking need other people's love or admire.


    incapable of processsing it/feeling rewarded by it. self absorbed. if u dont have emotional attachments to people then u wont care about what happens to them either, thus putting ur specific needs above theirs.

    Narcissism is a mental disorder and the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self-image and attributes.
    Vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others,


    u see if u are liked it gives u support and more abilities to exert urself above others. its practical in that sense. ur idealized self image doesnt need to be held by others about u. my point here is that antisocial tendencies by default lend themselves into overlapping with narcissism. ur goal is not others' attention but its still narcissistic in that sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    How would you say you’re selfish?
    Hm... My english is bad so I'm not sure how to say...

    For any choice I make, I always care about profit/gain first (profit doest always mean money, it can be time, health or just feel good). Basically everything I do serve my own interests, I don't do things for other people or for the society. Of course I did help some people, but it's because I have some interest in them, not because it's a right thing to do (I don't really care about right or wrong).
    Last edited by Moharu; 09-12-2021 at 11:07 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PseudoRandomBSGenerator View Post
    So in this case this narc attitude (and I'd say each type possess their own kind) is contained in their Ip subjective absorbing qualities. It is as if the experience is about solely them.
    An Ip attitude is to a question "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is sometimes plain WUT whereas Ep is more inclined to think about the tree while they ignore the "smell the flowers aspect".
    the Extraverted "objectivity" is delusional to me. E types are xi polar. they lack a relevant layer of "interrelatedness (subjectivity) allowing them to isolate things out of context... though that isolation/localized thinking i would attribute to anyone who isn't an IEI or EII. my attitude would be that i dont know if the tree fell, if it made a sound, the sound would lend to a butterfly ripple effect that would have its say in its limited scope. its not about making a sound but if that matters and how. Peterson said our minds register things based on meaning and meaning is interrelatedness and understanding. i dont know if you've tried practicing any difficult thing, but actually in learning in general, things just pop out of seemingly nowhere and u think "this was so obvious, how could i be so stupid" after u've tried to solve a problem u later discovered didnt even make sense the way u were thinking about it thats why u were stuck in looping thoughts.

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    Fuckin' narcissists. Grab your pitchforks and let's hunt down all ILIs!
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Fuckin' narcissists. Grab your pitchforks and let's hunt down all ILIs!
    All!!! ye u are ILI definitely. they all blow things out of proportion misperceive misunderstand. they can walk over others but being called out - no!! no one can criticize the ILI! there are more and less narcisisstic ILIs. but u are quite mad for something im not accusing u off. if ur not narcissistic then u have nothing to be mad about. if u are then still u have nothing to be mad about cuz u are wrong. if someone said IEIs are narcissistic i wouldnt be mad because they are (again, NOT ALL, and of variety). If they gave the wrong reason for it tho then i would be. Now by saying i would react differently than u it makes u feel overpowered by me because im "virtue signalling", taking the spotlight and power from YOU. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN U!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    All!!! ye u are ILI
    What, me? No I'm ILE and we're bros dw I'm not the one to hunt
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    What, me? No I'm ILE and we're bros dw I'm not the one to hunt

    Not to derail.... but how do you relate to your FE Polr?

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    Why is everyone talking about these narcissists when they could be talking about me?
    What is good?—Whatever augments the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself, in man. What is evil?—Whatever springs from weakness. What is happiness?—The feeling that power increases—that resistance is overcome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    Not to derail.... but how do you relate to your FE Polr?
    Irl I am wary in group situations and I always try to tone down my expressiveness in front of the crowd as I don't know how they work. I miss social cues, I'll get the jokes late, hold on to the previous topic too much or take things too seriously. I also don't have good skills when it comes to working up the crowd and making other people feel something when I talk. I'm mostly monotone and say things as a matter of fact. I do better 1-on-1. I focus on what I think is right as well instead of compromising even if that means the group I'm in would feel uncomfortable. Example - one big thing atm is my ongoing argument with my brother. I don't like his values so instead of keeping the peace I decided to show my anger and stopped talking to him. Our family thinks it's awkward specially during holidays and big events because we eat together and all but I chose to follow my own convictions. It has been going on for more than a year now I think.

    Why do you ask btw?
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    https://imgur.com/a/68MzJOq\

    https://www.quora.com/How-narcissist.../Adrian-Tomole

    i know this wont teach u anything. ILIs are aversive to learning and growing when it comes to being aware and caring that there are other people who want their share in life.
    Probably appear that way to a Fe-user cuck not unlike yourself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Irl I am wary in group situations and I always try to tone down my expressiveness in front of the crowd as I don't know how they work. I miss social cues, I'll get the jokes late, hold on to the previous topic too much or take things too seriously. I also don't have good skills when it comes to working up the crowd and making other people feel something when I talk. I'm mostly monotone and say things as a matter of fact. I do better 1-on-1. I focus on what I think is right as well instead of compromising even if that means the group I'm in would feel uncomfortable. Example - one big thing atm is my ongoing argument with my brother. I don't like his values so instead of keeping the peace I decided to show my anger and stopped talking to him. Our family thinks it's awkward specially during holidays and big events because we eat together and all but I chose to follow my own convictions. It has been going on for more than a year now I think.

    Why do you ask btw?
    Ok cool thanks One.... I'm still trying to figure everything out, and compare what everyone is doing.... but you can't tell as much online.... there's a lot of FE that's invisible online, so when you are trying to observe and compare, it's not as easy

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    Ok cool thanks One.... I'm still trying to figure everything out, and compare what everyone is doing.... but you can't tell as much online.... there's a lot of FE that's invisible online, so when you are trying to observe and compare, it's not as easy
    I see. Do I seem like an Fe valuer to you sometimes?
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tonatiuh View Post
    Probably appear that way to a Fe-user cuck not unlike yourself.
    ye thats what people who call others cucks think. u could never "share and care". ur an alpha male. only u matter.

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    There are probably some types more prone to narcissism, but not all ILI would probably meet of clinical definition.. ILI is probably one of types more likely to have of narc tendency, though.. Intellectual superiority, using Ni and Te to exploit of others.. Though, Fi HA can also be righteous, moral, if well-cultivated. If not, it will disintegrate down to ash, spread its darkness. 5w4, with w4, would have of higher likelihood.
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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    Ok cool thanks One.... I'm still trying to figure everything out, and compare what everyone is doing.... but you can't tell as much online.... there's a lot of FE that's invisible online, so when you are trying to observe and compare, it's not as easy
    One thing about Fe polr is you rarely get affected by the group's mood. The group feel cheerful, you don't feel cheerful, the group feel sad, you don't feel sad. It easily make you out of place cause you don't show the emotion everyone show. If you try to fake it, it's just become more awkward and embarrassed. ExTJ are better at faking Fe becasue it's their role functions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    I see. Do I seem like an Fe valuer to you sometimes?
    I don't know..... I'm still learning, but you seem better at effecting ppl in a positive way, and not effecting ppl in a negative way, than I might expect from FE polr..... but when you explain what you said above then it makes more sense.... but we can probably get better at our polr with some effort sometimes? and then other times we are just going to mess up, because other stuff (stronger IEs) take priority??

    Plus I shouldn't say it like FE is the only way to effect mood positively... you could do that indirectly without that even being the intention.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Braingel View Post
    There are probably some types more prone to narcissism, but not all ILI would probably meet of clinical definition.. ILI is probably one of types more likely to have of narc tendency, though.. Intellectual superiority, using Ni and Te to exploit of others.. Though, Fi HA can also be righteous, moral, if well-cultivated. If not, it will disintegrate down to ash, spread its darkness. 5w4, with w4, would have of higher likelihood.
    I would say in real life ILI is suck compare to their mirror LIE. 1D Se and Fe really limit what an ILI could actually do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moharu View Post
    One thing about Fe polr is you rarely get affected by the group's mood. The group feel cheerful, you don't feel cheerful, the group feel sad, you don't feel sad. It easily make you out of place cause you don't show the emotion everyone show. If you try to fake it, it's just become more awkward and embarrassed. ExTJ are better at faking Fe becasue it's their role functions.
    What about a single persons mood? would you ever be affected by that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    What about a single persons mood? would you ever be affected by that?
    Only when I care about that person and understand how he/she feel that way. Yes, it's requires understanding...

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    I don't know..... I'm still learning, but you seem better at effecting ppl in a positive way, and not effecting ppl in a negative way, than I might expect from FE polr..... but when you explain what you said above then it makes more sense.... but we can probably get better at our polr with some effort sometimes? and then other times we are just going to mess up, because other stuff (stronger IEs) take priority??

    Plus I shouldn't say it like FE is the only way to effect mood positively... you could do that indirectly without that even being the intention.....
    Hm, I didn't notice that about myself. That's interesting, maybe other people can chime in. I did make a thread about my typing and people say I'm ILI with Harmonizing subtype and I type myself as one as well.

    Description of Harmonizing:
    Quite lively and recognizable by his main type's description, however, in comparison with the classic type description he is "suspiciously" nice. It seems that the negative traits of a sociotype have no relation to the harmonizing subtype.

    Soft and delicate; although these qualities are somewhat limited by the capabilities of the type. That is, an ethical type of Harmonizing subtype is usually a very ethical person. He always wants to do something so that everyone is well. Even a logical type, but with logical type for some reason it turns out to be "he wanted to do best, but it turned out as always".
    In contrast to the Normalizing-Dominant dyad, Harmonizing and Creative is a complementary pair with a "delicate structure of the soul". Especially, of course, the Harmonizing subtype: sensitive, worrying, touchy, altruistic, self-sacrificing.
    Anyway if you are familiar with World Socionics Society I paid for a typing and I got ILE.
    R

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    I feel like My Fe and Fe PoLR are pretty similar from the outside. I don't really get affected by the group so much, if everyone is smiling and happy and having fun and I feel like I'm not being included in the group or I feel really depressed I won't be happy I will bring the mood of the group down. It's actually pretty annoying. It reminds me of that scene in Howls Castle where Howl gets depressed and everything starts to fall apart and turn dark. That's how it feels.

    What is good?—Whatever augments the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself, in man. What is evil?—Whatever springs from weakness. What is happiness?—The feeling that power increases—that resistance is overcome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Anyway if you are familiar with World Socionics Society I paid for a typing and I got ILE.
    This is strange. I haven't seen you in real life, but I think ILI has always made sense.
    What is good?—Whatever augments the feeling of power, the will to power, power itself, in man. What is evil?—Whatever springs from weakness. What is happiness?—The feeling that power increases—that resistance is overcome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Hm, I didn't notice that about myself. That's interesting, maybe other people can chime in. I did make a thread about my typing and people say I'm ILI with Harmonizing subtype and I type myself as one as well.

    Description of Harmonizing:


    Anyway if you are familiar with World Socionics Society I paid for a typing and I got ILE.
    Ahh maybe it's the harmonizing, I'm seeing???

    I guess it might be more obvious in person too.... its not like we mean to mess up on our Polr's.... we just aren't paying enough attention....

    They typed me SEI btw

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    Btw I forgot to mention this @rtht but when I like the people I'm around with and have spent time with them for a considerable amount of time, I'm okay socially. What I consider as polr hits would be these as example:
    1. I became close to all of my dormmates when I was in college, everyone talks to me while some of them don't even talk to each other. However when someone had a birthday party, of course we had to join in. I was about to eat silently after getting my food and one of my dormmates said, "Hey, is there something wrong? Why are you so silent?" Everyone was also surprised about it - they expected me, the one close to everyone, would pull the weight socially and do the hosting to make everyone engaged. I felt uncomfortable and lost because I didn't even know I was supposed to do it.
    2. At work I was very frustrated about some of the policies and so my boss and I would always have a meeting for me to discuss my opinions. It was quite a tense situation and everyone doesn't like his policies as well but people kept mum about it and would just joke at his back. Then during a team meeting a SEI coworker said that everyone was kind in a sense that no one talks against the management, except for me. Then she just said that sometimes it's good though. (I got very sad by this lol not sure if this whole situation is clear to you).
    3. I always give an excuse when my friends want to visit, and if an unexpected guest would come I don't know what to do.
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    Ahh maybe it's the harmonizing, I'm seeing???

    I guess it might be more obvious in person too.... its not like we mean to mess up on our Polr's.... we just aren't paying enough attention....

    They typed me SEI btw
    Wow interesting! We're WSS dualz

    Yeah maybe it's the harmonizing. Gulenko has a different type of system. When I read about some Socionics descriptions as well I think NiTe fits me more than NeTi. I've met some ILEs and they are quite different. They focus on logical coherence a lot, and I care more about how to use a certain information. Humor is quite different as well (sarcastic and dark for ILI vs innocent and nerdy for ILE).
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eudaimonia View Post
    This is strange. I haven't seen you in real life, but I think ILI has always made sense.
    I wasn't sure as well. I remembered though he hinted at Fi polr. He asked me if I don't know what people think of me and I said yes I don't pay attention to it and I'm mostly lost in social situations.

    Edit: Now that I think about it maybe it's also bec I'm more casual than ILI stereotype
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Btw I forgot to mention this @rtht but when I like the people I'm around with and have spent time with them for a considerable amount of time, I'm okay socially. What I consider as polr hits would be these as example:
    1. I became close to all of my dormmates when I was in college, everyone talks to me while some of them don't even talk to each other. However when someone had a birthday party, of course we had to join in. I was about to eat silently after getting my food and one of my dormmates said, "Hey, is there something wrong? Why are you so silent?" Everyone was also surprised about it - they expected me, the one close to everyone, would pull the weight socially and do the hosting to make everyone engaged. I felt uncomfortable and lost because I didn't even know I was supposed to do it.
    2. At work I was very frustrated about some of the policies and so my boss and I would always have a meeting for me to discuss my opinions. It was quite a tense situation and everyone doesn't like his policies as well but people kept mum about it and would just joke at his back. Then during a team meeting a SEI coworker said that everyone was kind in a sense that no one talks against the management, except for me. Then she just said that sometimes it's good though. (I got very sad by this lol not sure if this whole situation is clear to you).
    3. I always give an excuse when my friends want to visit, and if an unexpected guest would come I don't know what to do.
    Number one makes sense, although it seemed like a bit of a group ITR issue also...I think if there was someone more extroverted/high Fe around, then they could have got things going, and then you wouldn't have had to do as much/ppl wouldn't have looked to you.... I guess that's where its handy to have your dual (or similar) around to do the thing that you don't want to do/don't think to do....

    I think ppl have to appreciate the person that speaks up against work stuff.... not everyone will say anything, but regardless of socionics values, no one wants to deal with bs/shitty work situations, so I think ppl will appreciate the outcomes of someone speaking up at work, whether they verbalise it or not

    Yeah 3 makes sense.... what if you ask them to suggest/take the lead on stuff for you do when they visit?
    Last edited by rtht; 09-12-2021 at 01:03 PM. Reason: spelling

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    Uncle Ave's Avatar
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    What a fucking stupid thread.
    What good is a book that does not even transport us beyond all books?

    ~Nietzsche

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    Number one makes sense, although it seemed like a bit of a group ITR issue also...I think if there was someone more extroverted/high Fe around, then they could have got things going, and then you wouldn't have had to do as much/ppl wouldn't have looked to you.... I guess that's where its handy to have your dual (or similar) around to do the thing that you don't want to do/do think to do....

    I think ppl have to appreciate the person that speaks up against work stuff.... not everyone will say anything, but regardless of socionics values, no one wants to deal with bs/shitty work situations, so I think ppl will appreciate the outcomes of someone speaking up at work, whether they verbalise it or not

    Yeah 3 makes sense.... what if you ask them to suggest/take the lead on stuff for you do when they visit?
    Sadly I think it wasn't appreciated because of the negative feelings surrounding it. But anyway it's in the past now and I've learned not to talk and just do my own thing. Focus on my own gains basically. After a few months or a year I'll find a better opportunity etc etc.

    For #3 Yeah I think this is where a dual would get useful actually. If the one who will visit is my dual, he/she will take the lead and it won't even be a problem.
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    What a fucking stupid thread.
    This is why someone has to derail it
    R

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Wow interesting! We're WSS dualz

    Yeah maybe it's the harmonizing. Gulenko has a different type of system. When I read about some Socionics descriptions as well I think NiTe fits me more than NeTi. I've met some ILEs and they are quite different. They focus on logical coherence a lot, and I care more about how to use a certain information. Humor is quite different as well (sarcastic and dark for ILI vs innocent and nerdy for ILE).
    I guess we all develop/pay attention to our IEs differently depending on who we have grown up around, and what have had to do in our life as well right?.... I guess If you grow up, and stay all the time around your quadra peeps then you are going to be the prototype version, and then you are just going to vary away from that depending on what you have experienced differently....
    Last edited by rtht; 09-12-2021 at 12:52 PM. Reason: spelling

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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    What a fucking stupid thread.
    Ya I know, this thread is ripe with tension and silly carnival thrills of something flaming hot and rocking chair erupting.
    unstoppable destruction (webstarts.com)
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    This is why someone has to derail it
    It's interesting that You're an ILI One, because You show the magic and rainbow of that group, whizzing around in a springy and colorful storyteller's glee, and bounding for the limitless.
    unstoppable destruction (webstarts.com)
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    My Wish for the Meaning of Life came true | Sabrina Slowking Scizor Typhlosion Sandslash Alakazam Hitmonlee | Loving Bunny more Psycho Boosts Her power and is the Great Noon | Pokemon Episodes 13 Mystery at the Lighthouse 67 The Pi-Kahuna 140 Wired for Battle 29 18 | Without Love for your Pokemon your quest may fail | Lugia/Bunny 001 | Riley Hicks Raichu 10/31/1993 Charlottesville Virginia Boy | Pokemon Star Wars philosophy cosmology writing kardashev scale Imagination RPGs | Euro 2000 1998 World Cup 2014 World Cup 2020 Uefa Champions League Robin Gosens | Hawking Grand Design | Perfect Happiness | bunny became superman entered my pouch

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