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Thread: ILI narcissism and learning to get along

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    Default ILI narcissism and learning to get along

    https://imgur.com/a/68MzJOq\

    https://www.quora.com/How-narcissist.../Adrian-Tomole

    i know this wont teach u anything. ILIs are aversive to learning and growing when it comes to being aware and caring that there are other people who want their share in life.

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    This forum is Socionics, not MBTI lol

    Though I love myself so much, and I really am a fucking selfish person, I've never consider myself as a narcissist, because I don't fucking need other people's love or admire. And I also don't look down on other people because it's stupid to do so, for my own good. Fe polr play a huge part here..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moharu View Post
    This forum is Socionics, not MBTI lol

    Though I love myself so much, and I really am a fucking selfish person, I've never consider myself as a narcissist, because I don't fucking need other people's love or admire. And I also don't look down on other people because it's stupid to do so, for my own good. Fe polr play a huge part here..
    How would you say you’re selfish?

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    These types of posts make me question if I'm actually an ILI. I don't think I am a narcissist but jeez, okay, I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt

    I read the Quora description, I know someone like this though and she types as INTJ in MBTI. And compared to her I am pretty sure I have good amount of self-esteem. Is she the ILI? Different subtype maybe? Should I consider another type? Also I have my character flaws but I think arrogance is not one of them.
    u seem ILI so far but I havent bothered reading ur posts too much.

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    So in this case this narc attitude (and I'd say each type possess their own kind) is contained in their Ip subjective absorbing qualities. It is as if the experience is about solely them.
    An Ip attitude is to a question "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is sometimes plain WUT whereas Ep is more inclined to think about the tree while they ignore the "smell the flowers aspect".
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    Aren't there any MBTI forums anymore ?

    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    but I havent bothered reading ur posts too much.
    How nice.
    Last edited by BaruchJorgell; 09-12-2021 at 11:13 AM.

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    >I don't fucking need other people's love or admire.


    incapable of processsing it/feeling rewarded by it. self absorbed. if u dont have emotional attachments to people then u wont care about what happens to them either, thus putting ur specific needs above theirs.

    Narcissism is a mental disorder and the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's idealised self-image and attributes.
    Vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others,


    u see if u are liked it gives u support and more abilities to exert urself above others. its practical in that sense. ur idealized self image doesnt need to be held by others about u. my point here is that antisocial tendencies by default lend themselves into overlapping with narcissism. ur goal is not others' attention but its still narcissistic in that sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FreelancePoliceman View Post
    How would you say you’re selfish?
    Hm... My english is bad so I'm not sure how to say...

    For any choice I make, I always care about profit/gain first (profit doest always mean money, it can be time, health or just feel good). Basically everything I do serve my own interests, I don't do things for other people or for the society. Of course I did help some people, but it's because I have some interest in them, not because it's a right thing to do (I don't really care about right or wrong).
    Last edited by Tarnished; 09-12-2021 at 11:07 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PseudoRandomBSGenerator View Post
    So in this case this narc attitude (and I'd say each type possess their own kind) is contained in their Ip subjective absorbing qualities. It is as if the experience is about solely them.
    An Ip attitude is to a question "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is sometimes plain WUT whereas Ep is more inclined to think about the tree while they ignore the "smell the flowers aspect".
    the Extraverted "objectivity" is delusional to me. E types are xi polar. they lack a relevant layer of "interrelatedness (subjectivity) allowing them to isolate things out of context... though that isolation/localized thinking i would attribute to anyone who isn't an IEI or EII. my attitude would be that i dont know if the tree fell, if it made a sound, the sound would lend to a butterfly ripple effect that would have its say in its limited scope. its not about making a sound but if that matters and how. Peterson said our minds register things based on meaning and meaning is interrelatedness and understanding. i dont know if you've tried practicing any difficult thing, but actually in learning in general, things just pop out of seemingly nowhere and u think "this was so obvious, how could i be so stupid" after u've tried to solve a problem u later discovered didnt even make sense the way u were thinking about it thats why u were stuck in looping thoughts.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Fuckin' narcissists. Grab your pitchforks and let's hunt down all ILIs!
    All!!! ye u are ILI definitely. they all blow things out of proportion misperceive misunderstand. they can walk over others but being called out - no!! no one can criticize the ILI! there are more and less narcisisstic ILIs. but u are quite mad for something im not accusing u off. if ur not narcissistic then u have nothing to be mad about. if u are then still u have nothing to be mad about cuz u are wrong. if someone said IEIs are narcissistic i wouldnt be mad because they are (again, NOT ALL, and of variety). If they gave the wrong reason for it tho then i would be. Now by saying i would react differently than u it makes u feel overpowered by me because im "virtue signalling", taking the spotlight and power from YOU. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN U!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    What, me? No I'm ILE and we're bros dw I'm not the one to hunt

    Not to derail.... but how do you relate to your FE Polr?

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    Why is everyone talking about these narcissists when they could be talking about me?
    The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.

    The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".

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    Quote Originally Posted by VewyScawwyNawcissist View Post
    https://imgur.com/a/68MzJOq\

    https://www.quora.com/How-narcissist.../Adrian-Tomole

    i know this wont teach u anything. ILIs are aversive to learning and growing when it comes to being aware and caring that there are other people who want their share in life.
    Probably appear that way to a Fe-user cuck not unlike yourself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Irl I am wary in group situations and I always try to tone down my expressiveness in front of the crowd as I don't know how they work. I miss social cues, I'll get the jokes late, hold on to the previous topic too much or take things too seriously. I also don't have good skills when it comes to working up the crowd and making other people feel something when I talk. I'm mostly monotone and say things as a matter of fact. I do better 1-on-1. I focus on what I think is right as well instead of compromising even if that means the group I'm in would feel uncomfortable. Example - one big thing atm is my ongoing argument with my brother. I don't like his values so instead of keeping the peace I decided to show my anger and stopped talking to him. Our family thinks it's awkward specially during holidays and big events because we eat together and all but I chose to follow my own convictions. It has been going on for more than a year now I think.

    Why do you ask btw?
    Ok cool thanks One.... I'm still trying to figure everything out, and compare what everyone is doing.... but you can't tell as much online.... there's a lot of FE that's invisible online, so when you are trying to observe and compare, it's not as easy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tonatiuh View Post
    Probably appear that way to a Fe-user cuck not unlike yourself.
    ye thats what people who call others cucks think. u could never "share and care". ur an alpha male. only u matter.

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    There are probably some types more prone to narcissism, but not all ILI would probably meet of clinical definition.. ILI is probably one of types more likely to have of narc tendency, though.. Intellectual superiority, using Ni and Te to exploit of others.. Though, Fi HA can also be righteous, moral, if well-cultivated. If not, it will disintegrate down to ash, spread its darkness. 5w4, with w4, would have of higher likelihood.
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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    Ok cool thanks One.... I'm still trying to figure everything out, and compare what everyone is doing.... but you can't tell as much online.... there's a lot of FE that's invisible online, so when you are trying to observe and compare, it's not as easy
    One thing about Fe polr is you rarely get affected by the group's mood. The group feel cheerful, you don't feel cheerful, the group feel sad, you don't feel sad. It easily make you out of place cause you don't show the emotion everyone show. If you try to fake it, it's just become more awkward and embarrassed. ExTJ are better at faking Fe becasue it's their role functions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    I see. Do I seem like an Fe valuer to you sometimes?
    I don't know..... I'm still learning, but you seem better at effecting ppl in a positive way, and not effecting ppl in a negative way, than I might expect from FE polr..... but when you explain what you said above then it makes more sense.... but we can probably get better at our polr with some effort sometimes? and then other times we are just going to mess up, because other stuff (stronger IEs) take priority??

    Plus I shouldn't say it like FE is the only way to effect mood positively... you could do that indirectly without that even being the intention.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Braingel View Post
    There are probably some types more prone to narcissism, but not all ILI would probably meet of clinical definition.. ILI is probably one of types more likely to have of narc tendency, though.. Intellectual superiority, using Ni and Te to exploit of others.. Though, Fi HA can also be righteous, moral, if well-cultivated. If not, it will disintegrate down to ash, spread its darkness. 5w4, with w4, would have of higher likelihood.
    I would say in real life ILI is suck compare to their mirror LIE. 1D Se and Fe really limit what an ILI could actually do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moharu View Post
    One thing about Fe polr is you rarely get affected by the group's mood. The group feel cheerful, you don't feel cheerful, the group feel sad, you don't feel sad. It easily make you out of place cause you don't show the emotion everyone show. If you try to fake it, it's just become more awkward and embarrassed. ExTJ are better at faking Fe becasue it's their role functions.
    What about a single persons mood? would you ever be affected by that?

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    Quote Originally Posted by rtht View Post
    What about a single persons mood? would you ever be affected by that?
    Only when I care about that person and understand how he/she feel that way. Yes, it's requires understanding...

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    I feel like My Fe and Fe PoLR are pretty similar from the outside. I don't really get affected by the group so much, if everyone is smiling and happy and having fun and I feel like I'm not being included in the group or I feel really depressed I won't be happy I will bring the mood of the group down. It's actually pretty annoying. It reminds me of that scene in Howls Castle where Howl gets depressed and everything starts to fall apart and turn dark. That's how it feels.

    The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.

    The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Anyway if you are familiar with World Socionics Society I paid for a typing and I got ILE.
    This is strange. I haven't seen you in real life, but I think ILI has always made sense.
    The Barnum or Forer effect is the tendency for people to judge that general, universally valid statements about personality are actually specific descriptions of their own personalities. A "universally valid" statement is one that is true of everyone—or, more likely, nearly everyone. It is not known why people tend to make such misjudgments, but the effect has been experimentally reproduced.

    The psychologist Paul Meehl named this fallacy "the P.T. Barnum effect" because Barnum built his circus and dime museum on the principle of having something for everyone. It is also called "the Forer effect" after its discoverer, the psychologist Bertram R. Forer, who modestly dubbed it "the fallacy of personal validation".

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Hm, I didn't notice that about myself. That's interesting, maybe other people can chime in. I did make a thread about my typing and people say I'm ILI with Harmonizing subtype and I type myself as one as well.

    Description of Harmonizing:


    Anyway if you are familiar with World Socionics Society I paid for a typing and I got ILE.
    Ahh maybe it's the harmonizing, I'm seeing???

    I guess it might be more obvious in person too.... its not like we mean to mess up on our Polr's.... we just aren't paying enough attention....

    They typed me SEI btw

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Btw I forgot to mention this @rtht but when I like the people I'm around with and have spent time with them for a considerable amount of time, I'm okay socially. What I consider as polr hits would be these as example:
    1. I became close to all of my dormmates when I was in college, everyone talks to me while some of them don't even talk to each other. However when someone had a birthday party, of course we had to join in. I was about to eat silently after getting my food and one of my dormmates said, "Hey, is there something wrong? Why are you so silent?" Everyone was also surprised about it - they expected me, the one close to everyone, would pull the weight socially and do the hosting to make everyone engaged. I felt uncomfortable and lost because I didn't even know I was supposed to do it.
    2. At work I was very frustrated about some of the policies and so my boss and I would always have a meeting for me to discuss my opinions. It was quite a tense situation and everyone doesn't like his policies as well but people kept mum about it and would just joke at his back. Then during a team meeting a SEI coworker said that everyone was kind in a sense that no one talks against the management, except for me. Then she just said that sometimes it's good though. (I got very sad by this lol not sure if this whole situation is clear to you).
    3. I always give an excuse when my friends want to visit, and if an unexpected guest would come I don't know what to do.
    Number one makes sense, although it seemed like a bit of a group ITR issue also...I think if there was someone more extroverted/high Fe around, then they could have got things going, and then you wouldn't have had to do as much/ppl wouldn't have looked to you.... I guess that's where its handy to have your dual (or similar) around to do the thing that you don't want to do/don't think to do....

    I think ppl have to appreciate the person that speaks up against work stuff.... not everyone will say anything, but regardless of socionics values, no one wants to deal with bs/shitty work situations, so I think ppl will appreciate the outcomes of someone speaking up at work, whether they verbalise it or not

    Yeah 3 makes sense.... what if you ask them to suggest/take the lead on stuff for you do when they visit?
    Last edited by rtht; 09-12-2021 at 01:03 PM. Reason: spelling

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    What a fucking stupid thread.
    Thunderbolt
    is the future

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Wow interesting! We're WSS dualz

    Yeah maybe it's the harmonizing. Gulenko has a different type of system. When I read about some Socionics descriptions as well I think NiTe fits me more than NeTi. I've met some ILEs and they are quite different. They focus on logical coherence a lot, and I care more about how to use a certain information. Humor is quite different as well (sarcastic and dark for ILI vs innocent and nerdy for ILE).
    I guess we all develop/pay attention to our IEs differently depending on who we have grown up around, and what have had to do in our life as well right?.... I guess If you grow up, and stay all the time around your quadra peeps then you are going to be the prototype version, and then you are just going to vary away from that depending on what you have experienced differently....
    Last edited by rtht; 09-12-2021 at 12:52 PM. Reason: spelling

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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    What a fucking stupid thread.
    Ya I know, this thread is ripe with tension and silly carnival thrills of something flaming hot and rocking chair erupting.
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    Something has arrived. That threatens to throw everything terribly out of balance. When it comes, will you accept your destiny? And when it’s your chance to be a hero, will you rise to the challenge? This year, discover how 1 person can make all the difference! Pokemon the Movie 2000 The Power of 1

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    This is why someone has to derail it
    It's interesting that You're an ILI One, because You show the magic and rainbow of that group, whizzing around in a springy and colorful storyteller's glee, and bounding for the limitless.
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    Something has arrived. That threatens to throw everything terribly out of balance. When it comes, will you accept your destiny? And when it’s your chance to be a hero, will you rise to the challenge? This year, discover how 1 person can make all the difference! Pokemon the Movie 2000 The Power of 1

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    The tension around ILIs is constant
    God forbid someone tries to solve anything with them. They always run away in circles their whole lives is a dog chasing its own tail. A disgusting snake ouroboros that just spins and doesn't get anywhere. Oops someone is aware of your pathetic disgusting Fi disgfigured sense of self and connection to reality lets do everything to forget they are actually alive and everything they do has consequences for others. Feelings dont matter. Yet they do. Why are u hiding from them if they didnt. Its literally what makes life meaningful. Thats why u like fidget spinners prolly too. round and round and nowhere. Just replace every feeling with anger because they are entitled and always right. If something happens they have to hurt someone else for it. "nyeeh im not perfect of course i make mistakes. but i didnt do the mistakes i did its everyone misperceiving and my truth is objective and rational but i will refuse to discuss it unless i dont in which chase i just keep raving my own bs while being completely inconsiderate of what im being repsonded to because it triggers me so i just go back to something that was already said." Thats their stubborness. They are the epithomy of "u have no proof" after they did everything to hide it. like the pedophile who talks shit about others constantly while he is the worst of them all. Like the SLI covert priest. What is regarded as proof? There's set options of what could have happenned if u keep adding context a few remain. That's how narcissists abuse. they take advantage of the fact that technically nothing is provable. After they have made u insane with abuse, beating around the push, denial accuse u of being hysterical and this is somehow "proof" that no one should listen to u.
    Last edited by VewyScawwyNawcissist; 09-12-2021 at 01:21 PM.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moharu View Post
    I would say in real life ILI is suck compare to their mirror LIE. 1D Se and Fe really limit what an ILI could actually do.
    And yet, ESIs prefer ILIs 4 or 5:1 over LIEs. At least, that’s the case in my circle of 600 or so acquaintances.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    And yet, ESIs prefer ILIs 4 or 5:1 over LIEs. At least, that’s the case in my circle of 600 or so acquaintances.
    And why did those ESIs prefer ILIs over LIEs? Money? :v

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard Fool View Post
    Ya I know, this thread is ripe with tension and silly carnival thrills of something flaming hot and rocking chair erupting.
    This is the post of yours I meant to like lol.
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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Are the ILIs you know more "responsible" in a sense that they are less of a risk-taker than the LIEs
    All of the 11 ILIs are less risk-takers than any of the 26 LIEs that I know. There might be one exception; an ILI who is married to an ESI.

    I only know of one LIE-ESI pair. They met in college and the ESI supported him in his studies. When they graduated, another couple that they knew who did something similar broke up. The ESI told the LIE that if he, after being supported by her, ever broke up with her, she’d kill him. He decided that marrying her was his best course of action. But he changes jobs and cities frequently. She (the ESI) goes along with him.

    I don’t think that “responsible” is the correct differentiating term. I view being responsible as providing the most money for the partnership, and that involves taking risks.

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    ESIs seem like to have partner who can help them get their shit done. It's not all about money, it's about how you show yourself to be a responsible.partner.

    If you think it's all about money, then you may wrong.

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    feel like narcissism is a trend now, like a lot of people want to play an unsympathetic misunderstood genius persona or some shit, at least that was the case with a lot of INTJs in the mbti community. I hope it doeen't spread to socionics

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    ILI are much more likely to be sadists or have anti-social personality disorder than have narcissism. Effectively putting up a narcissistic mask requires at least 2D Fe. I usually like your threads but this doesn't make much sense to me.

    Although there are ILIs that I have clashed with in the past I have recently tried to get along with them better. And it had much more to do with those people just being shitty fucktards than it had to with their type. If they have let their polr get the better of them sure they can be very hard to get along with but you can say that about any type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by one View Post
    Anyway if you are familiar with World Socionics Society I paid for a typing and I got ILE.
    Lol, I have had so many ILI accusations but yeah, in general I find Ipness foreign from cognitive perspective ... and yes, I have met superficially ILE like ILI's - it is just that it does not fool me because they lack the energy where I have it and vice versa (and domination game is just not fun for me).
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    Quote Originally Posted by BandD View Post
    ILI are much more likely to be sadists or have anti-social personality disorder than have narcissism. Effectively putting up a narcissistic mask requires at least 2D Fe. I usually like your threads but this doesn't make much sense to me.

    Although there are ILIs that I have clashed with in the past I have recently tried to get along with them better. And it had much more to do with those people just being shitty fucktards than it had to with their type. If they have let their polr get the better of them sure they can be very hard to get along with but you can say that about any type.
    Ted Bundy. No it doesn't require 2d Fe. No, you can't say that any type can be equally hard to get along with, just like u cant say that any person could do what an ASPD would do in the same situation. There are differences and labels to describe them. ASPD requires someone arrogant and self absorbed to place his wellbeing above others. It has high comorbidity with narcissism. Apparently there's a book where the narcissism of INTJ is discussed somewhere in the site. Have you heard of the term "transactionary relationships"? someone already said thats how they handle it here. It said the same on the links. They can be charming, helpful, stoic, bold, cool, calm, well put together calculated logicians not afraid to stand for what they believe and face conflict. U seen ILI pics, dragons, muscles, warriors, darkness, gold, some kind of abstract piece that's supposed ot communicate how they are less bound to something simplistic but something ascended and spirtitual, or a meme to cover up, u get it. They are of the hot villains females like to be raped by. That overflowing projection of power and domination to make you weak. They identify patterns with Ni and use Fi to stab u in the mushiness.

    Imaigne being manipulated without even knowing their serpentile eyes not giving u a hint because u completely missed they are empty inside. All the Te gifts and achievements all the glamor all the promises. What an useless bitch u are. Incompetent and incapable. Stupid weak pathetic. u were struggling with no hope for the future in the world Te assholes created. Then this angel comes to save u and give u everything. He is capable and caring. Unlike you stupid whore. U deserve to get abused. Works u then shames u taking advantage of ur vulneraiblities, Yet he still stays with you and says he loves u. He takes ur abilities to do things because u are incompetent, this way making sure u stay that way. then he fucks u forcefully. Shows u everything he's achieved to slap u about not measuring up. Any act of independce, of trying to grow is trying to cheat or swindle him. He makes sure u never be able to get away from him. Yes slaughter and torture in their sadistic overlord rituals while fucking their SEE whores who may be next which makes it even hotter.. Ruin the boyfriend's life while pretending to be the hero who's gonna take care of her. Or help her while she has a bf which makes the INTJ incel jealous so he ruines him then rapes her.

    I may or may not have gotten material of some alt right sects. what was the people's types there? I could have never guesesd all those people commenting the losers deserved it and survival of the fittest on torture vids where who they were. Why do ILIs want a soft bean submissive gf? "where are the women of old". blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne. Join us brother! Deus vult!


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    I find ILI typically quite bad at being charming and manipulative. All of that stuff is Fe and that is their PoLR. Even though yeah they can be very mean sometimes or dark str8 man edgy like that, I don't think many of them could manipulate their way out of a paper bag. It is quite difficult for white trash ILI males to be both charming & cold like that because they make their sadism or dark intentions way too obvious. Or I mean- I don't personally get involved in relationships that unhealthy lol.

    And I don't think Ted Bundy had Fe polr/1D Fe really- but even if he did- obviously it wasn't an *effective* narcissistic mask because the electric chair got him lol. I wouldn't say he was even good at being charming- he was just good looking, and a lot of people/esp young women can be awfully shallow and stupid with that. Men would probably fall for it too often - if female serial killers were "hotter" and were more conventinally attractive than Aileen Wuronous was. I don't understand seeing ILIs as 'hot' either but YMMV. Most ILIs I know are average to ugly objectively speaking lol.

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